Hi Megan,
This is a great collection of merit badges and trinkets you've made! I hope you don't mind that I collected a bunch of the trinkets I didn't already have. I really loved the purple cats, especially the purple lion. I thank you very much!
Funny, I must have watched a lot of TV back then. If you were to do one with current TV shows, I'd fail miserably because I mostly watch movies these days.
I thought I'd look through your port for something to read and when I saw the description I decided I was in the mood for a 'nonsense sonnet'.
So ... looks like there is a stanza missing. That's disappointing.
What is there though is really good. The iambic pentameter is spot on. The 1st and 3rd lines aren't rhyming with each other but good job on the 2nd and 4th. It's apparent you know how to write a sonnet, so I breaking a few rules is okay in my book.
I like your made-up words. They work very well, and your definitions are hilarious! I enter this contest once, so I understand what you had to do for it. Great job! But I want more...
Found this in the entries for the Bard's Hall St. Patrick's Day contest. What I like about this entry is it's different from the rest. It's wonderfully funny and on top of that the rhythm and rhymes are an extra delight. Don't always find that in an acrostic. Well done! It may be a teensy bit redundant in places, but kids like that and they like this too.
Best wishes
What a touching poem. It brought tears to my eyes. I could feel the love and admiration for your father in each line. He gave you strength in many ways and now you in turn display that strength by bravely saying goodbye and comforting both you and him in the end with these words:
"Please don't worry for me,
I know you are now free,
And that for you, things are better this way."
I saw you posted this on the news feed and thought I'd take a look.
I really enjoyed reading it ... loved the silliness. Also the picture you found to go with it is perfect. haha I think you ought to make "nonsense" one of your genres, though. For some reason this story kind of reminds me of an old 50's song called "The Thing" by Phil Harris. Not sure why.
If the musical fire's indeed gone out, you could maybe learn to play the bellows.
Hello Jack Stone,
I found your wonderful poem when I clicked on the Read and Review link. What a great idea to give to a husband-to-be. The shovel alone can be a useful tool but these wise words can be invaluable to a couple just starting on a new unknown journey, such as marriage can be. Wise advice in a nicely written poem.
Thought I'd have a look at your Port for something to review to return the favor.
I found this poem to be so honest and simple. I like that. No pretense, just showing your emotions while giving the reader a glimpse of your life.
For me the first three lines could be condensed a bit...
"facing the home I've made and
the mess my son has made of it"
perhaps find another way to express "the home I made" since "made" is used in the next line and the phrase is also used further down in the poem. But also, I think repetition can work if it is emphasized and not accidental.
You might consider changing overwhelm to overwhelmed so it becomes and adjective of how you feel and not a verb. And also consider omitting "maybe some" and just say anger. Be decisive.
If it feels like I did too much picking at your writing, I apologize. It was meant to be helpful. It's a good poem.
Hi Ken,
I saw this posted in Grumpy's Poetry Contest and had to drop in and let you know how much it made me smile... that is up until these lines:
"I had always dreamed of a BMW.
I've changed my dreams – a BM will do!"
Then I burst out laughing and the tears filled my eyes. I had to get control of myself to finish reading the last stanza. Too funny! Great fun to read.
Thank you!
I saw this in your port yesterday after I sent the last review, so here I am back to read more from you.
I LOVE this. It's so positive and creative. Even though there's no mention of color...it reads very colorful with words like confetti and fireworks, midnight skies and setting dreams ablaze. You are good with painting picture in the minds of your readers.
If you are entering this in the sitewide contest: Your judges might appreciate making the font bigger.
Also, something you could add to make this stand out more are "bullets" or "emoticons" in front of your key ideas or make the text "bold or colored". You could get real creative with the WDC writing tools. Perhaps something like this:
Adventure, Ahoy This year, the world is my oyster...
or
Creativity Unleashed!
or
Kindness Makes a Splash!
Just a few suggestions. Your possibilities are endless. Definitely feel free to ignore them if it's not your thing.
One thing you must do though if you enter this in the "Dear Me" contest is add your word count in your entry or you will be disqualified!
Hi TheactualTreasure,
Your writing paints a beautiful picture of nature from flora to fauna, from sun-up to sun-down Not only do I see the scene, but I hear it as well.
Perhaps the sense of smell could have been incorporated too with the scent of dew dampened earth. Just a thought.
Your words have a nice gentle rhythm reflecting the graceful show of nature and your rhymes work well. Perfect title. Good job. I enjoyed reading your poetry tonight.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
Interesting. This popped up on the "Read and Review" page. I remember glancing at this in the newsfeed a few months ago but didn't stop to read it thoroughly. So now I'm curious enough to see how it works ... but mostly wanted to collect the trinket. Two birds with one stone.
I'm not sure I'll have need of the Automatic Review Response system, but it's nice to have this information for future reference. Thank you!
Wow! I hope to never see a mutiny like this! I can't imagine just how miserable the body must feel!
The confusion I experienced in the first version has pretty well been cleared up. I feel the change in format helped to express what is happening. It's more clear and I could almost feel the sickness setting it! Good job!
The idea behind this is still a most unique subject. You did it justice.
I saw that someone had reviewed this and gave it 5 stars, so I thought I'd have a look to see what impressed the other reviewer.
This is a very nicely written short piece and I enjoyed reading it. Your character's personality was cleverly shown as he looked at himself in the mirror. I wished I'd also had a quick description of his looks, along with how he looked in his uniform, such as square jaw, blue eyes or blonde crewcut.
The story followed in an orderly manner, and all made perfect sense to the end.
This is just my opinion, but I kind of wished it would have had one or two more lines after the “HELL NO, WE WON’T GO!” bit. It seemed a little abrupt to me. Did he turn and go after that? What did he think? What did he see or hear after his announcement?
I like your polished writing style. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Anni,
I saw this pop up in the newsfeed a while back and made a mental note to return and read when time allowed. So here I am.
You always come up with such interesting subject matter and this is no exception. So ... your body has mutinied against you? Very interesting though I couldn't quite figure out who the narrator is. Is there more than one voice? Maybe the italicized one-liners threw me off because it felt like more lines were also spoken but not given special emphasis as the third line in each stanza was. I feel you could probably omit either the quotation marks or the italics. But that's just me.
The poetry form: Alouette. It seems interesting with its rhyme scheme and syllable count but I gotta say even after researching it online and reading examples, I found it a bit difficult to read. I kept trying to force a rhythm that is just not there. You did get the form right though.
There were some really stand-out lines that I enjoyed.
"Seasick and shut in
Locked, this cage of ribs"
"The world blinks too fast
I don't want to know what's next"
Perhaps adding more punctuation would help the reader (me) to know where breaks should be, since with form poetry you can't always place the breaks where you might otherwise as in like free verse. I found it a little confusing.
I like the idea behind this... maybe it needs a bit more clarification. But I know... I'm not always the sharpest thinking reader.
Greetings Adherennium.
Just dropping off a donation. When somebody here on WDC is as generous as you are to other members, I always wonder, "Have they won a lottery or could they actually use some extra gps."
Saw this on the newsfeed where your description caught my eye. I was pleased to see it entered in Lornda's Humorous Poetry Contest. I just entered one this evening.
By about the third stanza I had it figured out. Even so, I thoroughly enjoyed your humor. Well done! I started out suggesting punctuation, but heck...it's a style, your style, so never mind. Your rhythm and rhyme and line breaks are done so well, punctuation is not needed.
What can I say but you've got a winner here! Thanks for sharing.
Hi MF,
You requested a review so thought I'd have a look.
You really need to carefully read through this piece and try to clean it up a bit. The first thing I noticed is how it's presented. With an article this long, it can be overwhelming to see big chunks of writing without line breaks, maybe even possibly causing a reader to not finish reading. Perhaps add more line breaks between paragraphs.
There are inconsistencies in your font size. I can understand this if you are trying to draw attention to certain passages to make things stand out ... but there seems to be some areas of very tiny font, which for me doesn't work. It feels like a lot of copy/pasting happening.
I'd suggest at the beginning remove your name from the first line.
In the first paragraph there is unneeded repetition with the lines: "There are many ways...". Two lines later the same words again. Work on condensing.
After reading just a little here and a little there, I find I could not read the whole article as presented. Sorry.
This is a really good idea for a word search. The names of poetry forms are definitely not your average word, so makes it more of a challenge. I was pretty amazed at myself for knowing and finding over half of them fairly easily without constantly looking at the list because I have used many of the forms and knew the names already. The others... well they took a little more time. I always struggle with the backwards diagonal words! Yes, Bianca has a great page with many forms to try out. Thanks for posting this.
This story has got to be one of the most original ideas I've read in a long time. It's so well written too, but that's no surprise to me.
I'm just going to point out one little typo. "It (If) the effect were (was?) half as good as on television, it would fool anyone, at least for a few moments.
Thank you for the read and the smile. Off to bed now ... on plain ol' white sheets!
I'm not sure if this screen is for reviewing your blog or this particular entry, but these are my views/review for "Habit of Force" "Habit of Force"
I gotta say I am in agreement with everything you said. I too am okay with near rhymes unless I am going for something like a true English Sonnet or other proper poetry. Then I try much harder to find exact rhymes.
I don't bat an eye when it comes to the plural/singular rhyme.
Awkward word order: like you said, happened a lot in my early poetry. I try not to do that these days.
Meter? I feel like if a poem is going to rhyme, it ought to have good meter as well. They seem to go hand in hand in my opinion. I'm a little more critical when it comes to meter, especially with poems with required meter.
Sight rhymes? Uggg! I don't get it! But a lot of the "old masters" did it.
Forced rhymes? I say it falls under the adage: First you need to learn the rules before you can break them. With your experience... you are definitely allowed to force a rhyme.
Hi AJblurryface. Welcome to Writing.com. I hope you will enjoy it here as much as I do. Your poem popped up randomly on "read and Review page" so thought I'd give it a read.
I like poems that make me think and this one did just that. Especially those last two lines.
One thing I might suggest to you is to take another look at your punctuation. There are many instances where you could easily let the white space beyond each line do the pausing for you. No need to use a comma after each line unless you are wanting a longer pause.
Also, there are a few places where the first word in a line is capitalized, yet it is not the beginning of a sentence. Which is acceptable in poetry, as long as you are consistent with it. .
Hi Beholden. I saw this entered in the "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest" and just wanted to say you have expressed very well what it feels like to be part of the "senior" crowd.
Your title, "Fragments of Immortality" by itself leaves me deep in thought, especially followed by your words, 'the waiting room of old age'. Personally, I don't feel like I belong in this room yet but I'm definitely knocking on its door. At this point in my life I know many folks who are "waiting", and I find myself thinking about it more and more.
This is a topic that is hard to express but the word choices and thoughts you put into these poetic lines showcase your creative talent. There are so many wonderful lines throughout it's hard to point at just one as a favorite. These resonated:
"Breath was not so much guaranteed as taken for granted..."
"...eternity of life, unconsidered, just accepted, not inspected nor fingered..."
And the last line made me smile. Well done.
I read your note at the bottom, and all I can say is perhaps one must be of a certain age to appreciate this one.
One little thing you might consider is, in these lines, "...as though once again released into a limitless future, almost as though this too is a preparation for beyond..." maybe omit one "as though".
Wow, wow, wow! What a story! Nicely written and... what the heck... almost (just because I hate thinking this is possible) believable! Great story that kept me reading to the very end!
I took a few notes as I read so these are some of the lines that either raised questions with me or made me just want to comment:
"Claudio noticed that two rows of the narrow slots were already filled." This kinda came out of the blue and confused me... because the relic was not described and it was much later where it was mentioned about the nails. So maybe a little more detail here? Or perhaps it's not important to even mention it? IDK
"Marcus Greevy received his visitors in a spacious office..." Just curious what is Marcus' business? Is he just a rich man with an office? (like Donald Trump?) Would it make him a more believable character with a background? I figure you are on a word count restriction, though.
"... we intend to clone the Messiah" HOLY COW!! What a concept!
"I wouldn’t put it past him. It could also be Delavan." Oh okay, so they were told who was being cloned. I was thinking maybe it was confidential.
The ending caught me off guard ... so well done. That little bit about the blood on the ladder, I suspected was planted earlier for a reason.
Glad I read it. Thanks for sharing it on the newsfeed.
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I thank you very much!
That's disappointing.
It may be a teensy bit redundant in places, but kids like that and they like this too. 
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
Adventure, Ahoy This year, the world is my oyster...
Kindness Makes a Splash! 
Bravo!!! 
Yes, Bianca has a great page with many forms to try out. Thanks for posting this. 