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 |  Am I supposed to write? |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Documenting the trials and tribulations of sharing my writing. I know it will be a grand adventure. I'm sure I'll get a sore butt from the bumps along the way, but they are just part of the ride. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| To whom is a weather person accountable? I know it is not me. Despite incorrect forecasts for 5 consecutive days, I have yet to receive an apology. I don't think I've ever had a job where I could continually be wrong, over and over again, without penalty. Wouldn't everyone like a job like that? "Oops. I didn't mean to overcharge you." "Sorry, I filed the government reports late." "I didn't put that fourth bolt in because it was hard to reach. I hope it's not a problem." "Really, I posted all those deposits to the wrong accounts?" "What do you mean I can't talk to the customers like that?" "The numbers were wrong? I guessed." Mistakes without consequences... don't you love the idea? Why is it weather people are the only ones who can live in that world? Can you tell I'm bitter? They try to fool us. Now they call themselves "Meteorologists". They actually went to school to learn how to be wrong. They have dopplers, and radars and cutting edge technology yet still fail to be accurate. Why do they bother? The weather forecast for this area has been the same every day; wrong but the same. Are they guessing? I think we all know it will eventually be sunny or rainy or windy. Can we be weather people? They have been telling me for 5 days to be prepared for severe thunderstorms. Now they say the storms missed us. I don't believe it. My neighbours knee says it will rain tonight. From experience, I can tell you his knee is far more accurate than any weather forecast I've ever seen. Maybe the local TV station should look at hiring him. He doesn't have any fancy degrees or letters which follow his name but he does have a bum knee which is reliable is predicting rain and humidity. The local news needs to hire him. Bottom line is Mother Nature can be controlled by no one. She has her own agenda. Let's accept this and quit pretending anyone can forecast the weather. It will lead to less frustration for us all. |
| The fun thing about the current fashion trends is almost everything is "in". Those of you looking at your closet full of 80s fads, note the use of the word almost. I've never paid too much attention to trends. They are there for my amusement more than anything else. There are fads which strike me as funnier than others but I don't judge. I may mock, but I will never judge someone based on their fashion sense. Those who live in glass houses should never throw stones. I have had friends tell me there is more to a wardrobe than sweats. When I get dressed I ask myself "Do I look trashy / slutty?". If I answer no, I head back to the closet. Just kidding, tee hee. As long as I answer no, I will leave my house. I can look grubby, dirty, sleepy, even lazy but I will not go out looking like a tramp . My standards aren't high, so if I think I look like a floozy, I probably do. With the summer here, it's time for sleeveless shirts and tank tops. This has created a fashion dilemma for me. Is it trashy to let your bra strap be seen? Last year, friends convinced me into buying a bra which has clear shoulder straps. It's not super comfortable, but find me a bra that is. It is great under a couple of formal dresses I wear. Fundraisers and weddings are not the place to be showing off your foundation garments, this I know. However... when I dress to go to the mall or to do my errands, what are people thinking if my bra strap is revealed? If I go out for dinner with friends, what is bra strap etiquette? My male friends say it's kind of a turn on. They are turned off when it's the 2", extra wide support strap showing, but the simple strap is cool. They point to the many young, perky girls around us, all with a bit of bra and thong showing. I however, am not in my twenties anymore and everything isn't quite as firm and perky as it used to be. My girl friends say it should be avoided. A bra on display is like hanging a sign "Open for Business". I need help! I'm sure I'm going to have to leave the house sometime tomorrow and it's supposed to be a hot one, a great day for a tank top. When I look in the mirror and see the white strap, am I a tramp or not? Hey, at least I know going braless sends all the wrong messages. It's past trashy and hooking on the corner. |
| I'd like to start by thanking the Academy... OOPS, wrong speech. Although I don't think I'm the only one who has practised this line while having no hope to EVER win an Oscar. Seriously folks, someone deserves a big old thank-you. My port has been viewed 1000 times. Yay for me, I have fans.  I won't forget you all when I'm rich and famous. Most likely cuz I have no plans to become an international celebrity.Yes, I admit it. I love to write but I write for me. On my best days, I don't think I have a Hogwarts inside of me. Perhaps there's a good spy novel or amazing story about friendship or politics but there is no world of fantasy. Let's face it, that is what sells. It is not about the writing anymore, it's about the marketing. If no additional revenue streams can be associated with a book, it is difficult to find publishing support. I don't believe one can write to get rich. Yes, there are the exceptions but those are few and far between. Most published authors still have a job. You can't expect to sit on your ass and collect the royalty cheques. It doesn't work that way. YOU, yes the author, not the publisher or agent, must ALWAYS be working to promote your writing and image. Book tours, speaking engagements and radio shows are the tip of the iceberg. I'll skip the lengthy details and sum it up with, becoming a published author is hard work. Consider all the work it takes to publicize your writing on WDC. The audience here is far more receptive than the general public. Still, you must plug your work constantly to get regular visitors to your port. Once you have a following, you must keep writing. Nobody wants to return to a port which never has new work. Here is where a blog can help. A blog keeps your port fresh. Something easy, breezy to show your adoring fans you are still writing, even if only in blog format. One may blog about upcoming stories or events in one's real life. No matter what you blog about, you develop a relationship with the reader. This is ultimately what every writer wants. To my visitors, the regulars and strays, I thank-you for your support. I'll be bragging about 1000 visits for some time. This is almost as good as being published but with a lot less effort. If only WDC paid royalties... |
| I'm itchy today. Not just a little bit either. I'm a poison ivy and chicken pox kind of itchy. My constant scratching has now resulted in the appearance of dozens of broken blood vessels covering my body. I could probably pass as someone with the measles. Boiled down, without the medical mumbo jumbo, I had an allergic reaction to the sun. I made the rash mad by trying various home remedies and continuing to stay outdoors. To my sensitive skin, I add insect repellant. The mixture made my arms and legs a vivid red. Yes, like an over ripe tomato. But I was on vacation and the red ugliness didn't hurt, so I didn't sweat it. By the time I decided it was a bit uncomfortable to be in my skin, it was the long weekend and not a doctor to be found. The rash gets worse and starts to become itchy. Tiny little blisters popped up all over. I've worn oatmeal , calamine lotion , teabags and a variety of creams, ointments and homemade concoctions. I was still red, blistered and becoming itchier by the minute. Yes, I took a bad situation and made it worse. Now I have some sort of infection because of the rash or the blisters or allergy. The itchy rash won't disappear until the infection is gone. Yes, I had on sunblock, SPF 55. I tried to stay in the shade. I'm very white, almost opaque and I know I burn easily so I try to take precautions. They didn't work. Now I sit and wait and try not to scratch. At the itchiest places I've already made myself bleed so I've trimmed my nails and I'm following the doctor's orders but... IT'S FUCKIN' ITCHY!! |
| Actually, I don't. I mean shit. SHIT!!!! Why is "shoot" not as offensive? Everybody knows I really mean shit when I say shoot. If you hear shoot and think shit, why should I not get the satisfaction of cursing in the first place? While visting a friend's home today, I stubbed my toe. After showing great restraint in front of his child and saying only "shoot", five year old Katie laughed at me and announced, in her big girl voice "You wanted to say the other word.". No shit! Since a five year old thinks shit when she hears shoot, may we finally stop the charade? What is so wrong with shit anyway? Now that you're done with the jokes, answer the question. I've heard respectable arguments against the use of most curse words. I agree with some, disagree with others but I can see the logic behind their case. I would think the mainstream damn is more offensive than shit but it's not. * scratches head * Like people, language evolves. It's time for us to embrace shit; welcome shit onto our network TV; see shit in our daily newspapers; hear shit on the radio. It would be less crass than half of what we are exposed to now. |
| At the entrance to the Provincial Park where I vacation, there is a 5 foot raccoon greeting you at the gate. The plywood cutout, which I affectionately call Rocky , holds a sign reminding visitors the raccoons are "the friendliest around" and to NOT feed the animals. What it should say is "the smartest raccoons around and you will be evicted if you feed them". I am not a camping virgin. I have been to this park several times over the past few years. I have camped on this particular site on more than one occasion. While the raccooons have visited often, it was usually after dark and they scampered away when a flashlight was turned in their direction. The raccoons are nature's garbage men. They clean up after the messy campers who somehow, leave food behind. The down side of this is despite their cute appearance, they can carry many diseases and get mean. The furry creatures are willing to fight for their existence. We began our battle with these beasts on the first night. NIGHT 1: While the raccoons made ventures into the camp in broad daylight, they were still frightened away by loud sounds. Flashlights continued to scare them aware after dark. They made a lot of noise but did no damage. Oops, that's not all true. They did shred part of the cardboard pop cases on top of the cooler but they never made it inside the meat locker. CAMPERS 1 - RACCOONS 0 NIGHT 2: Tonight the enemy tried the direct approach. They waddled over to us and actually begged. Yes, they actually stood up on their hind feet and begged. We resisted their charms and stood our ground. We refused to encourage this behaviour. They countered by once again sneaking into the dining area. They scratched at the coolers but didn't get past the beer cases guarding the food. CAMPERS 2 - RACCOONS 0 The raccoons invade again in the night, this time in greater numbers. The crash of empty bottles disturbed our sleeping souls. It also gave us time to mount an offensive and protect the meat. More boxes were piled on the coolers and we returned to bed. CAMPERS 2 - RACCOONS 1/2 NIGHT 3: We add reinforcements... belts around the coolers with a come-along wench. We were determined to protect our food. We also placed our heaviest boxes on top of the coolers once again. It could have been the sun, the days' activities or the amount of alcohol consumed but we slept through the night attack. We woke to find the boxes pushed off, again, and scratch marks permanently embedded into the coolers. Our nourishment was safe. CAMPERS 3 - RACCOONS 1/2 NIGHT 4: The Raccoons pull out the big guns... a momma and her three hungry children. We tried to make loud noises, she stayed. We flashed lights at her, she stayed. We lunged at her, she hissed. We walked towards her children and she attacked. It took us over an hour to stay away from the pissed off monster and secure the food in the tent. She seemed content to feed her family the chips and marshmellows we abandoned at the fireside when she attacked. Once the meat was secure, we retreated into the safety of our tents. We heard noise in the dining tent but no one had the nerve to face the angry coo and by now, she had reinforcements moved in the site. The shifted boxes and chewed through part of the belt wrapped around the coolers. The didn't get it open all the way, but they managed to steal hotdogs and one slab of ribs. CAMPERS 3 - RACCOONS 1-1/2 NIGHT 5: Momma led the charge again. She circled the camp early. Again she left the babies to play in the wood pile while she cased the stash of food. We beat her away long away to wrap a blanket around the cooler which was again fastened with the belt and wench. 2:40 am - the noises wake us all to find we are victims of a full blown invasion. The raccoons have managed to pull the cooler, blanket and all, out of the dining tent and into the open where they have more room to work. The blanket has been cast aside, with the wenched belt and the coons are having a party around the embers of our fire. They helped themselves to EVERYTHING... even a quarter pound of butter. After finishing the eggs, steaks and ribs, they washed everything down with French Vanilla coffee creamer. CAMPERS - concede and retreat I know it would have been smart to put the cooler(s) in the car however, there were men at this camping trip. Men like the challenge. More than one of them took the attacks as personal insults. They were determined not to be outsmarted by raccoons. HA!! |
| Whoopee!! Once again, time to head for the woods. It's completely crazy, my ideal vacation is a getaway from everything I work so hard to achieve. There cannot be a better holiday than camping. Before you knock it, have you tried it? If you've given it a fair shot and have specific complaints about the experience, you are enititled to your opinion; even if it is wrong. I'm sure I could convince you otherwise but I'll let you be, in your confused little world. To the camping virgins, I urge you to have your cherry popped. It won't cost you a lot of money and odds are you won't have to travel far to find a campground. You'll be surprised how liberating having nothing can be. There is no better way to bring the creative juices to a rolling boil. I'll be getting busy with nature and my imaginative side for the next week. With that much time to write, I better come home with more than a single blog entry. |
| I cannot believe it has been 4 days since my last blog. Ouch! Bad me. I have been busy searching for "Society" and it has been a full time endeavour. With the amount of power "Society" wields, one would think "Society" should be easy to find. Let me tell ya, it's not. I have some issues with "Society" and I'm looking for a fight. I've been told "Society" does not think it proper I sit in the yard and share beverages with my single, male neighbour. "Society" believes men and woman can't be "just friends". Phooey! When it comes to the male / female relationship, "Society" seems rather full of shit. "Society" applies rules arbitrarily and encourages double standards. How dare "Society" judge any one of us? While amongst our closest friends, we encourage friends to follow their heart. Who cares what "Society" thinks? we ask. We laugh in the face of "Society", encouraging short men to date tall women and more mature women to date men younger than themselves. "Society" dictates the rules about dating yet refuses to put them on paper. What kind of crap is this? There are rules regarding how long someone is supposed to wait before they called the person they were out with the night before. There are rules about what people should and should not do on a first date. WHY? Women, let's bond together and give "Society" a good old fashioned ass kicking. We are intelligent and independent and capable of making our own decisions based on our own, unique situations. Guys, you get screwed too. "Society" says you must spend two months salary on an engagement ring. It is because of "Society" women expect a rock. We all discuss the incredible pressure we feel from"Society", not only regarding the sexes, but money, politics, sports. The influence of "Society" is far reaching and her power acknowledged by all. So where the hell is she and how do I get her to back off? |
| While poking ports and browsing blogs, I often come across an erroneous notion. Who is crazy enough to believe blogging is not writing? For those of you who need this explained, please keep reading. Have you tried blogging? It takes dedication, creativity but most of all, the ability to tell a story; to communicate a message to the masses. How can anyone say blogging isn't writing? I will concede there are a variety of types and forms and qualities of blogs. This is the most wonderful thing about them. For every blog you find you enjoy, there are thousands out there that aren't your kind of thing. I suspect those who mutter the nonsense about blogs not counting as real writing have yet to find a blog they truly enjoy. Since WDC hosts this blog, I make the assumption my readers all consider themselves writers. There are a variety of skill levels in our ranks, but we are all writers just the same. Now I ask you, as a writer don't you think finding 20 minutes every day to write should not only be easy, but a pleasure? Blogging regularly is NOT as easy as one would think. Your blog might be how your family in far away places keeps tabs of the going ons in your life. It might be how you vent your frustrations. Blogs exist for many reasons. The bottom line is a blog requires one to come up with words to share with the world. To those who say blogging is not writing, I say IT IS SO! |
| Is there such a thing? Before you suggest I don't wear one, I'll tell you now, this is not an option. My girls must be locked and loaded. Failure to secure them results in a sore neck and various other aches and pains. I know too well why I need to wear a bra; what I don't understand is how it could be 2007 and I can't find one which is comfortable. With so many women in need of a good bra, (we'll leave the discussion of man boobs for another blog), why hasn't one that provides comfort been invented? I can cross my heart, lift and separate, show cleavage or tie the girls up tight. I have all sorts of bras for a variety of occasions yet not one of them provides support AND comfort. No matter what I choose to wear, the first thing I want to do when I get home is take off my bra. The sports bra is an option for around the house and camping. It will hold the girls in place but makes them a funny looking shape. Wearing one is similiar to taking a tensor bandage and binding the boobs into place; it works, but is not aesthetically pleasing. After a day of being tied up, it once again is a relief when the ladies are set free. For the guys who do not understand this dilemma, I suggest you try wearing an athletic spporter, eight hours a day, every day. You will begin to understand the meaning of uncomfortable. Anybody have any suggestions? |
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