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 |  Dear Me: Please keep me sane! |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours.Swedish Proverb  Here in the South, we don't lock up our crazy people. We sit them out on the porch for everyone to see." ~~ Julia Sugarbaker, Designing Women *********************************** Visit Vivian   Web site: http://www.viviangilbertzabel.com Blog site: http://viviangilbertzabel.com/blog.html For more info as to why I am linking these links of Viv's, see "Blogging, blogging, blogging" 
"Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor
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My girls at work and I were having a conversation the other day when the subject went south quickly! (as is usual with that bunch)  Anyway, we started talking about the beach season and people coming into town hall with their swimsuits on. We are in a PUBLIC building. People come in with all types of clothing or lack thereof. Girls come in with bikinis covering little to nothing and guys with no shirt or shoes. Yes, I know we live on the coast but people, Pleeez!!I do NOT want to see your body while I'm trying to work! Take it to the beach! Anyway, the girls started talking about the little bikini bathing suits that old guys wear on the beach. We call them "weenie squeezers". The name implies exactly what the suit does.  NEVER will you see a good looking, hard bodied stud wearing one of these! They always opt for the long, to their knees, surfing shorts.  Well, these weenie squeezers are worn by the old, balding guys with a dickie do! (translate: "dickie do"; belly hangs down farther than his dickie do") You try to turn your head but no matter how much you try to ignore and not let the images in your mind, you have to wonder, "where does he put it?"The thing is so tight he can't possible breathe and unlike women, he has this extra appendage that he MUST keep with him at all times so he has to make a place for it! Men, listen to me......... There's not enough room in a weenie squeezer for your stuff. Put some real clothes on. We are not impressed with your attire and we just want you to know how bad it looks! Enough ranting about the bad wardrobe choices of "mature" gentlemen! One day I'll give you "the town hall girls" opinion of older men driving corvettes..... Ta Ta ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| This has been one of those long weeks where you accomplish little but work hard. I feel like I have put in tobacco for the past 5 days (and only a true southerner would understand that statement) Anyway, I'm glad to be home. I did start my JoBlog this week about the life of a tax collector. I have one entry.  Guess I don't think my job is that important that people would read about it; but hey, it's looking good!My throb is coming in this weekend. I'm excited. I flew up there last weekend after being in class all week and taking my test on Friday. About mid-week, I decided that I didn't want to head back to the beach with all the tourists so I would book a flight. I couldn't believe I got one on a holiday weekend. Well, Southwest doesn't have assigned seating so you print your boarding pass 24 hours ahead and you get an A, B or C seating. A goes first and so on. Well, on Thursday I started trying to print it downstairs in the lobby of the motel. It kept saying wait til 24 hours before your flight. I had booked the flight for June 1 instead of May 25. aaarrrggg... I booked another, got credit for that one and printed my boarding pass. Sheer Luck!!I finish my test, head to Raleigh to catch my flight. I have plenty of time. I park, check in, go through security. They throw away my hair spray, my moisturizer, and my detangle stuff. I get to keep a bottle of antiseptic that my mother mails to me with a homemade tag on it! Go figure! The bar is the only place to smoke, so I prop there for a few hours. I get to the gate about 30 minutes before takeoff, with my A. I stand in line, get ready to board and the guy at the gate taking tickets says, "Ma'am, you're in the line for Tampa, your gate is there (pointing 200 feet from where I'm standing) AND it's taxing down the runway! aaarrrrrrggggggg YES, I missed the flight!  Put on standby with 5 other peopleI, by some unknown struck of luck, was able to get on the next plane (2 hours later) and made it to PA. Had a great weekend but gawwd, what a trip!! Return trip was uneventful and I was home in time for a nap on Monday afternoon! I am glad to be home even if it was a stressful week!  |
| I had a visit from my wayward son today. He was upset that I had been gone for a week. He came by to apologize for Mother's Day weekend when he got mad about my asking him to feed HIS dog..... Anyway, he was on his way home from DMV...... We are LEGAL....... He has a valid driver's license complete with a motorcycle endorsement AND insurance..... It doesn't take a lot to make mama proud. (I still didn't get a Mother's Day gift or card but hey, what do I expect? perfection?) The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a other must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child. Erma Bombeck |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Well, the test went off without a hitch! We'll get grades in a few weeks but it didn't seem TOO bad! I'm heading to PA for a little romance. I'm really excited. I think Atlantic City or Hershey sounds exciting..... What cha think? Anyway, I have a few things to pack here at the motel and then on to Raleigh. Hope everyone has a great Memorial Day Weekend! Ta Ta ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Have almost made it through the class in Asheville. We have a major test that must be passed on Friday. I've learned a LOT!! The problem is, the older you get, the harder it is for that to stick! The brain is more pliable........ the sponge is broke.... I'll make it and I'll whine but I'll do fine. I'm thinking of starting a new blog that is strictly about my job. I came across the JOBLOG last night. It's a blog about your job......  News from The Office of the Tax Collector! I'm from the government and I'm here to help you..... yea, that'll go over big..... Can you say "bull's eye on the back".... Well, I booked a flight to PA yesterday morning. Instead of going home after being gone a week, I'm going "to see a man about a dog"... (that's what I used to tell my son when I didn't want to tell him where I was really going).... Anyway, got a good deal on the flight so I'll take my test on Friday morning, drive to Raleigh, fly out and come back on Monday and then drive back to the beach..... wooo hooo, I'm excited.... Enough rambling..... Going to soak more with the "sponge" |
| Did you ever receive your horoscope for the day and wonder, WTF does that mean? Well, today is one of those days..... Sun Sign: Aquarius Date Of Birth: January 20 If you feel that at the moment you aren't the most self-assured person in the world, Sheila, take a look around you to look at all you have done. True, you still have many unattained dreams, but look at how many you have already realized! Lack of confidence in your abilities is holding you back. There is a moment for everyone when a leap of faith is required. It's time for you to jump, Sheila. Yea, "leap of faith"; right off the bridge.......... |
Well, I arrived in Asheville on Friday and had a good weekend. I am now in the hotel preparing for the week ahead. I was scheduled to stay in a really classy, historic hotel but when I pulled up, there was an old Best Western across the street. The class will be held at the ritzy hotel and all I have to do is walk across the road. The reason::::: You can't smoke anywhere in the classy place.  . How pathetic is that??? My only vice causes me to take a room that is second quality. I could be living in style all week but no, I have to smoke....Oh well, I have internet, a room and an ashtray! What more could a redneck want?? Thought for the Day Sometimes women have this second sense; a feeling that pops up telling her the deal about things she sometimes doesn't want to know about. She can choose to ignore this feeling or act upon it. Since it's intuition, she can pursue it to find the facts or go on like nothing is happening. If she pursues it, she is perceived as untrusting. If she acts as though nothing is wrong or the feeling is wrong, she is perceived as stupid or unknowing. Either way, you loose. |
Busy week with nothing accomplished. I have a lot of those.  I have a class in Asheville all next week. I'm driving in tonight to see the man and have a few relaxing days before class on Monday. When I get out on Friday, it'll be a three day weekend!!! yah!!! I have a few things in the works right now as far as my writing. Trying to do a story/poem/essay on the south for practice for "Project Write World" by iKïyå§ama  I am a proud member of Team South USA. Check this out! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Now, ain't that just special!! I love it!!! Anyway, I'm working on that and the contest hostess with the mostest TexansBeatTheMiamiDolphinsBy3  has come up with a final round for her 13 black cases in the "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . This is gonna be hard but I have learned so much. We are down to 3 of us and we are in the final round. I've learned what a Haiku is and how to write one. We did a Shakespearean Sonnet and I thought I would die trying. Now it's a short story; with horror and mental abuse in the 50's. ugghhhh.... anyway, wish me luck.... It's been a great experience.... I'd love to do a contest but just haven't figured out exactly what and how.... I'm thinking an erotica contest..... ..... What cha think???? |
| Nothing much to update here except that I keep getting a reminder to update here. Been spending a lot of time talking to my friend raeni. Please keep her in your prayers. She is dealing with a lot for a 13 year old. Also keep our own AntiBarbie in your thoughts. She has some bitchy neighbor/friend who is causing her some major issues. Give her your support; she would if it were you! She also made that beautiful blog emblem for my blog.... Now, ain't she special!!I have a class in Asheville next week. I've been trying to get into this class for several years and it's always full; got lucky. I need it for my tax certification. I think "C" is coming in from PA to his house in Asheville so I may go up a few days early. My parents had mentioned they wanted to go just for the ride and to visit some friends. ugghh; we'll see how that pans out. I am also trying to write a few "southern" stories/poems/essays for practice for "Project Write World" by iKïyå§ama . I am the proud member of Team USA; aka Gifted Riters in the South... Check out our new emblem below made by our fearless leader: matthewhuge ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Now ain't that just the coolest thing! Oh, and I almost forgot; I also have been accepted into the blogging cult of
Anyway, off to work.. to make friends and influence people. You do that a lot when you are collecting money. People love to pay those property taxes and get really irate when you cut their water off for non-payment. aahhh, a life in the day of a SouthernDiva |
| I received so much feedback on the comment I made about the 1. I have changed everything anyone suggested and now I have a big mess. It's not even my story anymore!! Some like the word this and some like it that way and aaaarrrrrggggghhhhh......................................... AND I didn't get a visit or a phone call from my son on Mother's Day. "C" says I'm too hard on him! So, how was your weekend????????????????????????? |
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