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 |  My Blog. Generally Intended for Reading-Not Eating!. |
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Rose-Tinted Ramblings ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** A Little of What You Might Expect & A Lot of Everything Else that You Don't!. My writing style for my blog is invariably 'snarkastic'. This is because I am a nice, unassuming and quietly-spoken person IRL-and this blog is where my innermost moments and torments happen. Trust me, I am no exception to that delightful rule. Greetings! Welcome to my THIRD blog here on WDC. A re-incarnation of my earlier version of my Blog, here "Insanties and Sensibilities" this v.03 should prove to be equally...challenging and hopefully, entertaining. That said, life often weaves through our writing in mysterious ways, and this Blog will probably prove to be no exception to that. We are very likely all quite different, yet the same, us writers and our collective little whims, fascinations and insecurities. |
September 04, 2009. HA!. Did you miss me?. Well, what I thought was a blood blister on my foot, is actually a venous rupture, and the concern now is with collapsed veins and clots. Off for more medical intervention, tomorrow. Did you all have a good weekend?. Hubby worked 12 hours, yesterday, but the tips were worth it  Will keep this blog updated on progress. |
October 03, 2009. Last night, my husband arrived home from work at 11:55pm. "Beanie" was sound asleep on the downstairs living room couch, so he scooped her up and took her upstairs to her own bed. Poor poppet. After that, we discussed his day, and ate a late, late supper together. To unwind further, we decided to watch, "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart", off Hulu. We also noted a very yellow, full-looking, early October harvest moon, outside. Everything was well lit up, outside. So, I settled down on the couch, and he took the recliner next to me. Our couch is functional, but it's not the most comfortable or attractive. It's a boring, utilitarian brown. I've been badgering my husband to buy ourselves a brand new sectional sofa for Christmas (if we can pay cash in full). My left foot had been bothering me all day, and all night, besides. My best description of the pain, was akin to my foot experiencing a headache. Dull, nagging pain-pain which I'd mostly ignored. I slipped off my running shoes and socks, sat on the edge of the couch, and began to inspect my left foot. My left foot is a visual mess-there's significant soft tissue damage around my entire foot and ankle. Recently, I'd noticed what I thought was a tiny blood blister on the surface of my skin. My first mistake was not realizing just how paper thin my skin on my foot had become. My second mistake was poking at that blood blister. No matter how slightly, cautiously or gently. My foot flinched, jerked, and a stream of blood spurted up suddenly and hit me full-on in the eye (no joke). Instinctively, I instantly clamped my hand to my foot. My husband had glanced up, seen the spurt, and went into the kitchen to get one of those 'thick n thirsty' paper towels. Meanwhile, blood was curling far beyond the confines of my tightly clenched fingers. Within a few, short seconds, blood was rapidly collecting in a spongy mass at the base of my foot (now resting on the edge of the couch), and was running stickily in thick streams off the couch and on to the floor. That paper towel lasted all of 90 seconds before it too, was soaked all the way through (thick n thirsty, my a----). Thank-goodness we have crimson-colored carpet. Our next, strategic move, was to elevate my foot on the coffee table, apply pressure and a bath towel. It, too, was turning red-a little like me. I now envisioned having to reluctantly show up at the ER on what was now 1:00am on a Saturday morning. Blood-and lots of it, tends to get people's attention, failing most all else. Beanie would have to be woken, bundled up and strapped into the van. My poor husband now had blood on his hands, blood spray on his legs, and a concerned look in his eyes. We are both not prone to panic, which is probably to our advantage in situations like this. By 1:15, with Jon Stewart a disappearing, vague, background memory, the blood flow stopped. My foot was still tender, but the offending 'dot' on my foot had clotted. My husband lovingly cleaned me and my foot and wrapped it up. My foot kept me awake for two hours after that. I was also a little light-headed.  At 8:20am, my husband's pager went off. He has a wedding at Moonstone Beach to cater for, today. The wedding is at 2pm, and he also has to open the sushi bar back here for dinner service, at 4pm. My breakfast meeting for 9am today was canceled at short notice, last night. Just as well, really.  Our couch is cleaned and dry. Scotch-Guard, a good soak, and drying overnight. I'm still hankering for a new couch, though. Today will be low-key for Beanie and me, and I definitely won't be poking at my foot again!. |
| September 02, 2009. I'm feeling like a big, steaming pile of POO today!.. Ah-that feels better. According to new British, psychological research of five years duration, cursing and swearing is beneficial for your health. The lead researcher came up with the hypothesis after listening to his wife swearing throughout childbirth. Apparently, pain tolerance is increased with the more expletives you yell  Name your top five curse words, then put your hand in a frozen bucket of iced water, and see what you let slip. People who curse in response to pain tend to have a fight or flight reaction. Instant shock value. So, why do we swear?. Swearing could be a hardwired pain or stress response, suggests the researcher. I don't swear as a general rule, because I usually have Beanie lurking somewhere within earshot. Neither does my husband, interestingly. We do, however, swear in sudden bouts of over-enthusiasm, exaggeration or disbelief. Being raised on a ranch, my father used to exercise his frustrations by cursing at the working dogs on a daily basis-one of whom was completely tone deaf. I'm sure the dogs found it to be therapeutic, almost comforting, in a strange way. Which reminds me. Beanie's Pre-K teacher approached us a few days ago, and asked us cautiously what our cat's name was. Slightly perplexed, we said, "Pish". She misheard us though, and looked mildly shocked, "Surely you don't mean P-I-S-S?!" she whispered. "Nope" we responded adamantly, "She's Pish with an 'h' on the end." Her relief was palpable. Then, she explained, "Your daughter seemed to be explaining to her classmates that her cat's name was "Piss". We were just a little concerned, so I'm glad we've cleared that little mystery up."So, I wonder what nightmares pre-school teachers are taunted with in their nightly sleep?. Surely there are worse infractions?. I'm still feeling like a big, steaming pile of poop, but I think that I might feel better for having expressed that particular sentiment. The things we do for our health. Then again... |
October 01, 2009. I've a few moments before I'll feel compelled to go and make a real start on the myriad of housework tasks, that so far, have managed to elude me, this week. That said, there's already laundry whirring away happily in the washing machine, and the tub has been drained and cleaned. Last night, I was thinking that today would be Friday-unfortunately not. For some inexplicable reason, I'd skipped Thursday entirely. Just as well, really, since I've some work yet to do for my part-time job, to be presented at a breakfast meeting at 9am this Saturday. "Beanie" was not her usual, chirpy self, this morning, and mildly reluctant to go to school. I took her temperature as a precaution, but since it read within normal, we both concluded she was still good to go. With a distinct chill in the early morning air, I can't blame her preference for a warm blanket and an extra 15 minutes of uninterrupted kip. Various different strains and crises unfolding themselves regularly at the restaurant, which are stressful to be part of - peripherally or not. Staff complications and criminal issues, which I can't write explicitly of, here. Predation, indifference and desperation, mostly. Very saddening and maddening. I'm trying to keep certain anxieties from becoming a burdening factor for my husband, too, which only works up to a certain point. Good grief... My health still wobbles frequently. I feel a lot like the "Little Girl With The Curl" verse.  Happy October!. In my case, I think it's shaping up to be "Rocktober". Time will tell. Aiming for a bloo month. And, you?. |
| September 30, 2009. ....has been particularly active in recent days-lots of tectonic plate movement, and with those tumultuous seismic shifts, lots of corresponding death and destruction-and uncertainty. My thoughts are predominantly with the people of the South Pacific, and a sense of helplessness is inescapable. It is difficult to imagine from within our personal comfort zone, just how massive such forces of nature are, unless we are unwittingly forced out of it, ourselves. We each hope that such disasters don't befall us. Yet, nature, like death, does not discriminate. ...and yes-the U.S. has natural disasters of its own happening on a regular basis, too-flooding in Georgia, storms in Texas, and wildfires in California and Wyoming. ...do you have a 'Getaway Kit"?. No, I'm not talking about a Blackberry and a good book-the true essentials-clean water sources, heat, light, spare clothing, shoes and medications. I think that folks should be better skilled to accept that choosing to live in certain areas and engage in certain activities, carries a degree of risk, and that they need to accept some personal responsibility for that. Because, when it comes down to it, we are all very much our own personal survivalists. |
| September 29, 2009. I've been bitten by an Australian 80s music flashback bug at the moment-INXS, Icehouse, Mondo Rock, Ian Moss, Men At Work, Midnight Oil... A co-worker recently praised my creative thinking and problem-solving skills, and the communicating of them (in this part-time NFP mental health gig that I have). My approaches and thinking come down to some basic tenets, really- There are no real challenges-just figuring out the structure of things and how they are going to work best together. Success is most often about doing the simple things well. Offering constructive solutions, rather than focusing on problems. The 'Anyway' Principles (Mother Theresa)-for example, "Be Nice, Anyway" to that confrontational person. The way that you respond (as distinct from react) says far more about your qualities as a person and human being. Everyone needs a dream. I think that these are all reasonably straightforward techniques, and, I've no doubt that they've all likely been distilled down into 'Ah-ha' moments in numerous self-help books and by countless so-called gurus, at one time or another. I don't meditate at the beginning of my day, but I do stop and THINK and PAY ATTENTION often throughout my day. You'd be amazed just how effective this is at preventing both myself and my surroundings from falling under the proverbial bus at different times. Actually, if you knew me at all, you wouldn't be dumbfounded in the least by this observation. Sometimes, the best solutions are the simple ones. I like 'best'. 'Best' and I try to be good friends on a regular basis. Word. |
| September 27, 2009. Today, I want to write about an issue that is personal, not only to myself, but to thousands of others of working individuals and families in this country. My family is now classed as being one of the 'working poor'. We cannot afford health insurance in the open market as it stands-not with my pre-existing conditions. If we had the $5000 per month a minimum plan would cost us, we'd pay it. In a heart-beat. But, we don't. My husband's employer does not provide coverage for their employees. Rather than run the risk of not being insured, we are now part of the State-run insurance coverage program. The sad twist is, if I am to have any chance of seeking full-time employment, I need to be healthy. In the meantime, we have to essentially remain poor and put our lives on hold, while I wait for a brain scan to see what's really happening inside my head and sinuses. I know that if I show up in my local hospital's ER, that that ER will lose around $1000. They would have to treat me as an acute, life-threatening emergency, even if my headache pain was to dissipate while I was still there. Yet, I'd get my scan faster, and the State would be hit with the full cost on my behalf (the State presently pays .78 cents reimbursement on every health dollar). So, while coloring my hair, it has struck me what an inherently dishonest and inequitable health system we have. Little point in prancing and posturing about having the best, if we can't use it. And, before you ask my neighbor to help me, tell them they have to take time off work and put their life on hold-and then see how altruistic they're feeling when they also lose their home, hopes and dreams!. I colored my hair because it's symbolic of other things happening in my life at the moment. It comforts me. While we wait in limbo. I can't read like I once loved to right now, but I can still write..... |
| September 26, 2009. Happy Weekend!. Sure enough, yesterday being Friday, I was beginning to lapse into pain and warning signs by last night-despite the fact that I was up until 1:00am laundering my sweet husband's work clothes for today. Farcebook is working out well enough for my purposes, for now. I could have done with another 30 minutes sleep, today, had Beanie not announced herself quite so early to all and sundry. Upshot is that I'm feeling better, but fragile, still. I feel chilled easily, and worn down, but I'm still smiling, so that something worth celebrating. I plan on one last attempt at hair coloring later today. Cupcake Pink works best on freshly bleached hair, so it's time for torturing my hair some more. After that, and too much procrastination, I can finally have "Beanie" work her camera magic on me. |
September 17, 2009.  I'm still contemplating and waiting on a specialist's evaluation-even getting a referral is a total nightmare-just the mere thought of it. Neurology, too, of all things. Heaven forbid anyone should actually venture a professional opinion!. My husband is a simply marvelous, considerate caregiver in every way. Today is my first day back on a dietary intake equating something beckoning 'normal' [whatever that is]. Tired and sick. Sick and tired. Tra-la. Ho-hum. I'm extremely proud of Beanie. She has now adjusted well to school, and is taking everything in her stride. According to her teacher, she's a good listener, helper, and a caring child. Here at home, I try not to let her see me throwing up, or taking more medication, or to cry in front of her. Still, illness is what it is, and with that, is the need for honesty and realism. For all of us. |
September 14, 2009. I am ill, and will not be doing anything too computer-related for quite some time. I will endeavor to stop by and read blogs, but that will be about it. All of my writing projects are on hold, as is much of my daily life. My husband might stop in to write updates, if or when he feels like it/has time/energy. Happy Writing!. |
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