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 |   My 2nd blog. My spot for sharing my life, music, and writing with my friends. |
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Hello, Hello. Fancy seeing you here. I'll work on making this nice and pretty later. *  I also have a poetry blog, for those who dig poetry:
AND I have a mental health group with a monthly challenge:
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lay my hands on Heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars While the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car ♡ * I will never make this pretty. |
Artist: Guns N' Roses Song: Rocket Queen [Embed For Use By Upgraded+]  Who is/was your most annoying colleague or classmate?Courtesy of:
AND Come up with a Top 10 list- any topic or subject you'd like- and explain briefly your reasoning behind each pick.Courtesy of:
I'm pretty sure I can wrap these prompts up together, because, why not? So, yay, look at me blog for "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  , Lyn's a Witchy Woman  !  I'm just going to modify the JAFBG one a little bit and make a list of the type of people who are annoying at school or work.1. The lazy mofo with big dreams. I encounter this person all the time when working in a group. They have these big ideas about all the shit we could do with a project, but they can't be bothered to actually implement any of their own ideas. "Dude, we could totally do a 10-minute speech with a sleek-ass PowerPoint presentation, a skit, and a freestyle rap battle. I'll bring my boombox!" And then they disappear into thin air until 24 hours before the project is due when they reappear like, "Fuck, dude, I've been so busy. What are we doing again? Oh, just this? What happened to the rap battle?"  2. The perpetual optimist. Every office has one. They're the person who's chipper af at 8 in the morning and you're just like, man, could you stop? I'm no good until after 10 a.m. I'm like a robot that boots up around that time, but there's guaranteed to be a, "Somebody's got a case of the Mondays" person.  3. The perpetual pessimist. "I can't do this. We're going to fail. What's even happening right now? Oh my goddddd. This is horrible. We'll never finish." Just as annoying as the perpetual optimist, but for totally different reasons. There is a direct correlation between how much work you put in and how angry the perpetual optimist gets. "Look at all the work you're having to do, man. This should be illegal!" Taking on a difficult project is hard enough without having to drag along the perpetual pessimist. Thanks for the input, Eeyore. 4. The know-it-all. They aim to impress everyone around them and they don't care how obnoxious they have to be in the process. The know-it-all will constantly follow someone else's opinion with, "Well, technically..." Stop listening here, if at all possible, because the next 5-10 minutes will be convoluted drivel stolen mostly from their Philosophy 101 course notes. The best thing about the know-it-all is that they don't know how to not sound like a condescending dick while speaking. It's legit the only thing they don't know. 5. The ultra stressed one. Not to be confused with the perpetual pessimist, the ultra stressed one isn't being negative, they just have no coping skills or can't understand their own limitations. They're in a constant state of panic over work or school. Their plate is always too full. They can be seen overheating with their hands on either side of their head frequently. Too often, their workload isn't even that heavy. Like, you did their job PLUS your job that one week they were on vacation with less stress than they have on an average Wednesday. I actually feel bad for the ultra stressed one, but they make work and school worse because it's stressful to be around stressed people. Oh, and they cannot get sick right now.  6. The ass-kisser. The ass-kisser has an admirable goal in mind to be so helpful and great that the professor/boss can't help but to become overburdened with love and respect for them. Everything the ass-kisser does is one step closer to something they want out of the professor/boss (almost always a good grade, a reliable reference, or a job promotion). The problem with an ass-kisser is that they're extremely distracting to the rest of us who are just trying to work or get a decent education. They're always trying to anticipate what the person in charge would like them to do and jumping on every opportunity to overachieve, volunteer, or otherwise outshine everyone around them. It's like they think if they tongue their superior's asshole hard enough, they'll strike gold. Wait a second... They may be onto something here. Be right back. 7. The small talker. I can't stand small talk. When someone tries to talk to me about the weather, it's just totally grating. It's December, it's cold. It's July, it's hot. That's the way the seasons work here. How can this possibly lead into a real conversation? This is made even worse by the fact that I don't watch sports and that's a lot of people's go-to small talk topic. They're all, "How about that game?" And I'm like, "Ha! Sports, am I right?" There's a college version of this too. Don't worry, they just talk about their hangover. I think I hate small talk because I don't know how to end it and some people make it really difficult because they just keep talking. I find myself backing away awkwardly as they talk about rain. Weird stuff. 8. The confused person. I know, I know... There are no stupid questions, but if they exist, the confused person will be the one to find them. They ask a hundred super detailed questions when they only really need a quick overview of the subject at hand. Just when you think they're done, they raise their hand again, causing everyone to exhale loudly and pick up their phones to check their email or do literally anything other than listen to this person attempt to reach an epiphany. They actually remind me of little kids because kids are so curious. No matter what you say or how you explain it, they're always going to follow up with another question. "BUT WHY!?" 9. The head cold. It might just be my aversion to germs, but the head cold is a walking, talking, coughing nightmare for me. They're permanently stuffy and look like they need a doctor. They frequently miss school or work, and it's totally not their fault that their immune system sucks, but I still don't wanna be stuck in a poorly ventilated room with them. The worst is when you see them coughing all over everything and then they come hand a paper to you. I have to get down on my hands and knees and perform a blessing on my hand sanitizer. Pray to the antibacterial gods that they'll spare me this time. 10. The pusher. Every other week, one of their kids is selling chocolate bars, doing a walkathon, fundraising... Basically, they need you to donate some cash for a good cause all the time. You can actually just start rerouting a small percentage of your check into their bank account. It would be more convenient for everyone. The college equivalent is, "My band's playing a show/Our drama group is doing a play/We're having an art show, and can you pay 10-20 dollars for a ticket?" Oh, and I almost forgot, "We're having an office holiday party and can you make enough macaroni salad for 35 people?"  And just because I can, I'm going to tie the BCOF prompt in here too. It's not often that a bunch of prompts work well together on the same day. What are ten things you are thankful for?Courtesy of:
Despite all the shit I just talked, I am thankful for all the above people. Why? Well, for one, they provide entertainment value to an otherwise boring work/school environment. They might be annoying af, but if it weren't for them, I'd never be able to write shit like this entry. So, for those reasons, I'm thankful for the lazy mofo with big dreams, the perpetual optimist, the perpetual pessimist, the know-it-all, the ultra stressed one, the ass-kisser, the small talker, the confused person, the head cold, and the pusher.  If I say I don't need anyone I can say these things to you Cause I can turn on anyone Just like I've turned on you |
Artist: The Strokes Song: Is This It [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] What are the biggest red flags someone should look for when starting a new friendship or relationship?Courtesy of:
I remember when I used to be able to blog everyday and be like, "Yeah, this is ain't shit" but not anymore. So, I think I can write for this prompt. It's a little bit of an awkward prompt because I probably give off some red flags that people should look for, but I'll note those when I get to them, I guess. They're flaky. I think SB Musing  hit on this one a bit in her red flags entry. It's a huge red flag for me when someone is flaky at the beginning of a friendship. As in, they talk to you nonstop for two days and then you don't hear from them again for two weeks. All of a sudden they start blowing your shit up like, "Charlie, my dude! What's up?" Then they talk to you incessantly for a couple hours before they stop responding again for a week.People get busy, so it's not that big of a deal if I already know the person and what's going on with them, but if it's at the very beginning of a friendship, all it says to me is that they're going to be hot and cold the whole time. It's not really worth it to invest time and energy into people who only show up occasionally when they're bored to be like, "What up, my dude!?" Everyone they've met is crazy. This happens a lot when you're dating, but when I'm first seeing someone and they just talk about how terrible all their exes were, all I can think to myself is, replace those dude's names with your own, because that's definitely coming out of their mouth in the future. If you have a couple shitty exes, that's cool. If every person you've ever been with is an asshole, you're either dramatic or have total shit judgment.Everything is about them. Major red flag when a person doesn't ask you anything about yourself when they're supposed to be getting to know you. Same goes for people who somehow turn the conversation back to themselves every time you're talking. "I was thinking of flying out to Washingto-" "OH REALLY? I went to Ireland last year. I had the time of my life. You haven't lived until..." They're overly attached. I hate even adding this one in because I'm so terribly guilty of it, but it is a big red flag, even if it's one of my own red flags. When you meet someone and they instantly latch onto you, there's a good chance they have some kind of emotional instability. I'm constantly seeking validation and attention, so when someone gives it to me, I get super attached. Like, I go 0 to 100 quick. I don't mean that in a creepy way. I don't get all stalkerish or anything even close to that. It's more like I just get needy and if I don't continue to get that constant affection, my head goes all bad. I don't become obsessive about it, but I'll cut someone off just because I feel like I'm not getting enough from them. Part of BPD is black and white thinking, and I can see myself doing this all the time. I'll think super highly of someone and then literally ten minutes later, I want nothing to do with them because I think they're shitty. Moral of the story? Watch out for people like me.  They abuse animals/wait staff/cashiers. Not much to say about this one. If they treat a defenseless person or animal like shit, they're not worthy of interaction with me or anyone else.They give ultimatums. Especially if they threaten to commit suicide every time they don't get their way. Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Ultimatums are the trademark of insecurity, immaturity, and manipulation. "If you don't do this for me, you don't really love me." "If you leave me, I'll kill myself." Fuck everything about those people.They're negative about your passions. It might not sound like a big thing, but it is because if someone is casually like, "Ick, writing? Blah, that movie? Ugh, this song again?" it will eventually start to make you shameful of the things you love. No one should have to feel negative about the things that make them happy, as long as the things that make them happy cause no harm to other living creatures or the environment.This is actually the biggest red flag in my entire list because it's so easy to miss. Sometimes you stop hanging around someone and you realize how their negativity seeped into your brain over time. Too often, you can't even see it while you're actively in the relationship or friendship. It's only later that you see all the ways they made you feel negative about yourself and all the things you once cared about. Can't you see I'm trying? I don't even like it, I just lied to get to your apartment |
Artist: The Killers Song: Read My Mind [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] When is it time to give up on something/someone?Courtesy of:
(Thank you for the pretty new ribbon, Purple Princess  .)First and foremost, NO ONE READS BLOGS ON SATURDAYS. Now that we've made that clear, I love the drama of, "I give up!" *slams door* It's just perfect. It takes me forever to give up on something or someone. I'll go through hell and back just so I don't have to throw my hands up and say fuck it. I just hate the thought of quitting on someone or something. I have to exhaust all possible resources before I can get myself to agree to it. That being said, there are definitely times when I know that I should give up on something. Whether or not I actually do give up is a completely different story. Still, I'll compile it in nice list form: (1) More wear than it's worth. Probably the most obvious sign that you need to disconnect from someone or something. If the cost-benefit analysis is no longer in your favor, it's time to cut the cord. I have a tendency to measure things like this, in terms of how much they're worth to me. Sometimes I'm really upset about something and then I start thinking and it's like, damn, this person/thing is so not worth this level of emotion. It's easier to recognize in other people though. When someone's talking about a bad situation they're going through and you just want to grab them and shake them. You just want to make them understand that it's not worth the pain, but it's all about perspective, I guess. (2) You care more than they do. This one only applies to people, but it's usually the 'final straw' for me when I'm dealing with people. After it becomes obscenely obvious that I have more invested in it than they do, it's a lot easier to give up. What's the point in putting in 100% for someone's who's only willing to put in 30? I readily admit that I've been on the other side of this plenty of times. It's just really hard for me to care about things that I don't care about. I mean, it's difficult for me to take care of people I do care about, let alone people I could do without. Once someone crosses a certain line with me, I just can't muster up any good feelings for them. Wait, scratch that. What I mean to say is that I can't muster up any feelings to make them feel good. But, I try to make it super clear when that comes up. I try to get them to be the one to give up on me, because I already have. (3) Anxiety Inducers. This might just be for my fellow anxiety sufferers, but I can always tell I need to give up on something/someone when the very thought of the thing or person makes me anxious af. I had a blog entry a while ago where I said that I was cutting people out of my life if I had to take meds to deal with them. I actually realized this over the holidays. I was like, damn, I'm running out of Xanax just trying to deal with people. Or sometimes I'll be trying to talk to someone and the conversation is so anxiety-inducing that I have to start downing pills. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be like that. And, if it is, I'm pretty sure that's a good indicator to give up on that person. (4) It's negativity for miles. Sometimes you look around and realize you're in quicksand-level negativity. Like, there's nothing you can grab onto that's gonna get you out of the mess you're in. If you can't see any positivity on the horizon, if the situation starts making you feel negative about who you are as a person, just fuck all that noise. Change sucks, but staying in a situation that devalues you is even worse. If you've circumnavigated a person/issue and there is no possible way of pulling anything positive out, snip snip. I feel like I often hear people say that it's never okay to give up on something or someone. People always wanna be inspirational. I couldn't disagree more. I think it's always okay to give up. I don't think it's ever wrong to quit something that impairs your ability to get the most out of your life. In fact, I think there's a cruelty in not giving up on things sometimes. There's a cruelty in dragging along the mangled carcass of what once was. I have a lot of respect for someone who can see the reality of things and maneuver them in a meaningful way, even if that means "giving up" sometimes. You say you wanna move on and You say I'm falling behind-- Can you read my mind? |
Artist: Atmosphere Song: My Lady Got Two Men [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Susan B. Anthony , who was born on this day back in 1820, once said, "Forget conventionalisms; forget what the world thinks of you stepping out of your place; think your best thoughts, speak your best words, work your best works, looking to your own conscience for approval." Take apart her quote; what does each part mean to you? How does it motivate you to do the things you want to do and the things you love to do? Do her words still matter, some 150+ years later? And how important is approval or validation of your work, be it in writing, or in your day-to-day life?Courtesy of:
Well, I've gone a week without blogging, but I'm ready to pick it back up now. I kept seeing the 30DBC prompts and thinking that I was totally gonna write an entry for that one, but then I kept getting caught up with other shit and it didn't happen. Hopefully the month's going good and we're raising lots of funds for "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . I don't usually work well with the quote prompts because I'm not very good at comprehending other people's words unless they're stated super clearly. Well, that and the fact that a lot of quotes are just repeated and misattributed so much that they become corny to me and I can't work my way around writing about them. I've not heard this quote specifically though, and because we got permission to break it down completely, I'll give it a go. "Forget conventionalisms I've not actually heard this word before and my computer isn't recognizing it as a word either. I think she may have invented a word for the purpose of this quote, and I'm on board. Using the little etymology I know, I can surmise that conventionalisms are things that follow the status quo. So, disregard the status quo... forget what the world thinks of you stepping out of your place Fuck ya'll, I do what I want! think your best thoughts, speak your best words, work your best works Be the best you that you can be. Be the best version of yourself. Yada yada. looking to your own conscience for approval." So, at the end of the day, you have to be able to live with the person you are and the decisions you make. As long as you approve of yourself and the way you live your life, you don't have to worry about gaining the approval of other people. End quote. Alright, so, it's not going to come as a surprise that I'm not particularly motivated by this quote. I mean, it's nice and all, but it's not a super profound statement at this point. Like, maybe when she originally said it, it was super meaningful and courageous. But now? You can go to any Facebook page and overdose on these platitudes. I do think it's a nice quote, but that's it. It's just nice. I do think everyone's words matter. It's just a question of who they matter to. For me, these words don't matter because I've heard them said and rephrased a million different ways. To someone else, they might be a serious motivational boost and I think that's awesome. As far as I operate on a day-to-day basis, I need constant validation. I need to constantly be told that what I'm doing is good, or good enough, at the very least. The people who know me well are aware that there's this constant approval-seeking thing that I do. I think it's great to seek approval from within yourself, but it's difficult to do that when you have a shaky self-identity. Parked in your lot, can I get some validation? |
Artist: Joyce Manor Song: Constant Headache [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] What is the weirdest way you have ever heard of someone trying to cure a cold or a headache? Courtesy of:
I get migraines several times a month, so I swear, I have heard every possible 'home remedy' for headaches. There are three main ones things that everyone advises: water, sleep, exercise. It's guaranteed that if someone finds out you have migraines, they are going to immediately advise these three things. When you tell them that you've had migraines for years and have obviously tried these things... well, that's when the real fun begins. Some other common advice: - Drink more/less caffeine - Eat healthier - Lay down in the dark (fucking duh) - Put an ice pack on your head - Don't put an ice pack on your head - Sit up while you sleep - Lay on your stomach while you sleep - Use a migraine mask - Take ibuprofen & acetaminophen together - Don't take ibuprofen & acetaminophen together - Take Benadryl - Don't take Benadryl - Don't think about having a migraine - Take a shit ton of vitamins. Vitamin B2, B12, Magnesium, Vitamin D, etc... - Meditate/Yoga A lot of those aren't necessarily bad advice. It's just strange to me how every time someone finds out you get migraines, they suddenly have a PhD and know more than a neurologist. But, really, none of the advice above irks me. I think it did at one time because I'd be thinking, Well, obviously I've tried taking Tylenol. I'm not a complete fucking moron. But then I realized that the problem is just that people want to help, but they don't know how to. There are good intentions there, because they want you to feel better, so they just start rattling things off that sound like a good idea. And a lot of them are good ideas. It's just that a person who regularly gets migraines has already tried anything a layman can advise. The absolute weirdest piece of advice I've ever gotten regarding my migraines (and this person was very adamant that it would work), was to CHEW but not SWALLOW asparagus. I still can't wrap my head around it. I mean, I can see someone advising to eat asparagus, because there's some good nutrition in there, right? It's got some Potassium, Vitamin K, Magnesium, whatever... See the second-to-last on 'common advice'. So, I'm like, yeah, asparagus is good for you... but why not swallow it? The conversation was something like: Her: You know, honey. What you need to- listen. Listen, honey, okay. What you need to do is, you need to stop taking all those pills. Those doctors. Listen. Those doctors are paid by pharmaceutical companies, Charlie. Are you listening? They're paid by pharmaceutical companies to poison your body. They're poisoning your liver, honey. What you need to do is. You need to take some asparagus stalks, and you need... You need to chew those up, but don't swallow them. Do not swallow the asparagus! You need to just carry them around with you and chew the stalks, and I swear. I have a cousin. I swear, you will be amazed at how fast your headaches go away. Me: Oh, but... why can't I swallow them? Isn't asparagus good for you? Her: *mad cackle* That would be WAAAAAY too much, honey. *laughter* Honey, that would make... Oh god, you are funny! That would make your piss reek WAAAAAY too much! No, no, no. You just chew the stalks, honey. God, you're too much! You know, after recounting this story. I think she might have just been drunk while giving this advice. She was either drunk, or she was Donald Trump. I can't remember which. Either way... I know it. You know it. Everybody knows it. You can't swallow the asparagus. And then you finally found me Pretending to sleep. You said such nice things about me I felt guilty and cheap. |
Artist: FIDLAR Song: Awkward [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] So...uhhh, what do you do during awkward silences? Courtesy of:
Oopsie! I got a little bit behind on the 50/50 Challenge and reading everyone's entries because I realized I had, like, a week's worth of homework to do in two days over the weekend.  Why do I do this to myself? No, why do YOU do this to me WDC?  Onto more awkward things... I hardly ever notice awkward silences until someone else brings it up. This is actually one of my biggest pet peeves. I'll be sitting there, behaving and minding my own business, when out of nowhere, someone obnoxiously interrupts with, "WOW. AWWWK-WAAAAAAARD." Then I have to look around and be all mousy, like, "I-I'm sorry, what?" It genuinely annoys me when someone can't sit quietly in a room with other people. I talk a lot on here, but in real life, I'm not someone who speaks unless they have something of value to contribute. I'm perfectly content with quietly reading a book while other people talk around me or do whatever other people do. It isn't awkward at all to me when there's a lull in conversation. I'm not, like, desperately racking my brain for something to say, so if the other person is... well, that's all on them. At this point, I've gotten to the age where I don't really care when someone brings up an awkward silence as much as I used to. At one point, it would make me question my self-confidence, like, "Oh shit, this is awkward? I'm so awkward. What is wrong with me?" Now, when someone obnoxiously screams that the silence is awkward, I just slowly look up at them and make eye contact before looking back down in complete silence. If they want it to be awkward, I can make it be awkward.There are things I do find awkward though, and I don't really even know why some of them are awkward to me. Things that ARE awkward to me: (1) When the waiter says, "Enjoy your meal!" And I politely say, "Thanks, you too!" (2) When someone holds the door for me, but I'm too far away, so I have to like half jog to get to it in a reasonable amount of time. (3) When someone knocks on the locked bathroom door and asks if someone's in there. I have no idea why it's so awkward, to just say "yes," but I think most of us for some reason respond to this one in Spanish - "OCUPADO" (4) When someone hands me a baby. I'm not bad with kids or anything, but I hate when a distant family member just hands me their, like, month old baby and the baby and I just make unrelenting direct eye contact until they get taken away again. (5) When I make a big production of saying goodbye to someone and then we both start walking in the same direction to leave.  These aren't huge, day-ruining things. They're just slightly socially awkward things that make me think, Why do you gotta be like that, Charlie? I'll probably end up fuckin' up and make it super awkward |
Artist: Galaxie 500 Song: Tugboat [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Many of the food-related traditions associated with the Chinese New Year--including eating fish, sweet rice dumplings, and certain vegetables--have their origins in Mandarin-language homophonic puns. Jot down a list of food-related homonyms, such as homophonic pairings like "lettuce" and "let us" or "beets" and "beats," or homographic words with multiple meanings like "cake" or "milk." and weave us a story to celebrate. Lettuce begins with the rooster. Creativity matters... Courtesy of:
Why do you have to do this to me, Lyn's a Witchy Woman ? You know I'm not creative! *pouts*I'll be honest, I tried to do this prompt. I'm so bad at this. I kept thinking of words like "soup" ... so up. It doesn't even work because phonetics. Apple.. app pull. I'm a sad excuse for a writer. Pretty much everything I write is drawn from real-life experience and if I can't use that... I got nothin'. NOTHIN' I tell ya.I haven't even read any of the other entries yet because I know someone is gonna be super creative and smart and just knock this one out of the park. Unfortunately, that person isn't gonna be me. Legumes. Leg... ooms. Fuck. I bet A.T.B: It'sWhatWeDo  could kill this prompt with his pretentious-ass big words, but I'm just totally going to go nowhere with this. Carrot. Care it... Oh, shit, did I get one!?  But how could you even use that in a sentence? "I don't care it you think I suck at this!"Almond. All mahn. "All, mahn. Can I hit that blunt?" How the fuck are you guys doing this? I quit. I hope you all did much better than me. I'm going to go read the other entries and they're gonna be stellar af, I just know it.I just wanna be your tugboat captain! |
Artist: Jamie T Song: Zombie [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Tell us a little bit about your WDC handle/username. Is there a story behind it? Are you personally named after someone, family or otherwise? Courtesy of:
In moments like these, I wish I had a super badass username with some magnificent story behind it. I do love when this sort of prompts come up though because it's a chance to learn more about people. For those of you who haven't heard the extraordinarily boring story behind my username, here it is in all its glory: I wanted to sign up to WDC so I was like, yeah, I'm Charlie. But, of course, Charlie wouldn't be an available username and I didn't want to just throw a bunch of numbers after my name, so I figured I should just grab a surname. I say 'grab a surname' because there's no way I'd ever connect my real full name to half the shit I write about. I mean, I do have a family and employers, you know. Plus, I'm a private person to a degree. Basically, if I'd used my full name, I wouldn't have shared a lot of the stuff I've shared up to this point. It would just be something that bothered me, for whatever reason. Anyway, so I needed a surname that wasn't my surname. I made the herculean effort of googling surnames and went to a site that had them listed in alphabetical order. "Abney" was at the top and I was like, yep, good enough for a fake surname. That's when I signed up to WDC and that's when I became Charlie "Abney". Did you fall asleep there? I can tell it in even greater detail, if you're interested. As far as my first name, it's been around in my family for a long time, but it's also a super common name. It seems like my family tends to use it as a middle name, but I don't have a middle name, so I'm just Charlie. Well, Charles, really. But don't you fucking dare.   What are some things about yourself you hope never change? Courtesy of:
For all the shit I talk about myself, there are things I definitely wouldn't change. The most obvious one is my willingness and ability to be vulnerable and open with people. I see people all the time who are hard af. They're closed up so airtight and they're like stone cold. At times, I definitely admire that. I'm like, damn, why can't I be like that instead of getting super emotional during every confrontation? But then when I meet someone and have a super strong emotional connection with them fairly quickly, I'm like, nah, it's worth it. Plus, there are certain things that you can't take away from yourself without completely changing who you are. For example, I could drink less and I'd still be Charlie. But I couldn't take away my vulnerability and sensitivity and still be Charlie. That would be someone else. And I'm a coal train, fast lane Caught up in the dirty rain No pain, no gain |
Artist: Cage The Elephant Song: Take It Or Leave It [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt(s):  Check out "The Quills" , and then take a quick look at the list of items nominated so far (the cutoff for noms was 1/31/17, and the list hasn't been completely updated yet) here: "Invalid Item" . Pick one of the items nominated for a 2016 Quill, and review it. Post your review in your blog using the {review:xxxxxxx} tag, tell us what drew you to that particular piece in the first place, and if you have any previous Quills ceremony experiences please share them with us (and if you don't, based on the links in this prompt, give us your idea of what you think the WDC Quill Awards experience is like from an outsider's perspective).Courtesy of:
Right-o. So, I'm participating in the 50/50 challenge for "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" this month because it helps raise funds for the group, headed by their fearless leader and one of my besties, Fivesixer   . I couldn't pass up on the chance to do it this year, especially because I have a bit of free time at the moment to actually participate. There are a ton of awesome people participating too. I'm crazy stoked to see Mitchopolis back with a new blog, "Invalid Item" . I missed the fuck out of you, dude!I know, I know, get on with the prompt. I'm stalling like crazy because this prompt isn't really... for me. Why? Well, because the Quills aren't really... for me. *uses computer as a shield from angry mob* There, I said it! It's no big deal, people are just into different things. I love the idea behind the Quills, but I don't love the general site attitude toward the people who get nominated a lot for it. Once something here starts feeling dramatic, I have this habit to just run away because I have so many real life issues that I can't take drama on WDC. It's my safe space. But enough about that. The Quills aren't about me and I'm happy for all the amazing writers nominated this year. I think it will be a lot of fun and there will be tons of awesome things awarded and read. I looked through the nominations list and saw a lot of my friends over there with their stellar writing. I tend to nominate a couple things here and there that I feel deserve the recognition, but I don't go super crazy with nominating. When thinking of something to review though, I just HAD to go with
Obviously, I've had a bit of a hand in JAFBG, but I really think it's an awesome idea and so needed on this site. We have a lot of blogging groups, but up until JAFBG, we've not had any that are so outright there for people who just need to get shit off their chest. All of the blogging groups are amazing here. I think I'm a part of all of them. But, let's be honest, some days you just cannot get inspired by 'normal' blogging prompts. Sometimes you just need a prompt that will kick your ass and rev you up a bit. That's what JAFBG is there for. It's there for the people who just want to let loose and not worry about their mouth or how they're being perceived. I mean, yeah, I can take any prompt from any group and just have a complete fucking meltdown in my blog with it, because it is my blog, after all. But JAFBG feels like a place where you're supposed to do that, or at the very least, accepted if you choose to do that. It's a completely DIY group. You don't have to join anything to write with them. You don't have to get emails, no one's going to punish you for not blogging for several months. It's just... whatever. You look at it occasionally, something might spark your interest, and you blog about it. It's not a labor-intensive experience at all. There's a trade-off, of course. JAFBG isn't big on handing out rewards, because the group is so lax on blogging. I mean, it would be weird to hand out prizes for blogging once a month. But it is a place for everyone to let loose. Most of my entries for them aren't even really epic ranting. It's just a place to get shit off my chest using whatever style I need to use for that day, and that's why I love it.Do you see how I pivoted there and hardly talked about the Quills at all? Go, Charlie. Here's a cookie.  Sweet wheel of death keeps us holding our breath I step to the right, you move to the left |
Artist: Depeche Mode Song: Personal Jesus [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt(s): What has been the biggest betrayal of your life that didn't involve infidelityCourtesy of:
This reads like Failure with a capital F. Like everything just turned into a metaphorical grimace. Like trying to fit far too much into far too little. And any white-knuckled analogy can't even begin to graze the surface of how it feels to backswing into a fever pitch like this. Everyone just wears these hard faces like they can't be bothered to even look up, like my presence isn't worthy of acknowledgement. Damn, you are so cool when you dismiss me like a traffic ticket, when you give me the same treatment as ashing a cigarette. If only the rest of us could be half as cool. No one's ever made 150 square feet look so good. See how easy it is to displace this like breaking surface tension? It's easier than dispersing the blame and admitting that I fucked up. There's nothing like being betrayed by your own parietal lobe. No matter how much I analyze it, I can't quite unravel what sort of thought process led me to believe that this was attainable. Call it naïvety and loop back around. I've felt myself clinging to the edge of this for a long time. It felt like waiting for someone to either help me up our step on my fingers and let me fall. I'll let you guess which way that went, and no, this isn't a participation grade. It started as this little niggling in my subconscious and I had this terrible ability to silence it completely. My brain was playing whack-a-mole with itself. When that didn't work, the worm crept into my sleep where I couldn't consciously stop it. And still, I ignored it. Because, you see, I have such a one track mind. I just kept thinking of the objective and lying to myself. Not just to myself, but to everyone around me as well. I became so agile. Every slight success stamped out prior defeats and it became such a regular thing that my brain would talk itself down before reality could register. Hey, if you ever need a false hope booster shot to lie to yourself about your own abilities, I think I might know a guy. I've tried reframing things using euphemisms and business class buzzwords, but phrases like "too stupid" have seared themselves into my grey matter so I have to sacrifice some free time contemplating. No matter how it's gifted to me, I'll tear it apart and reflect it back on myself in a harmful way. "It wasn't for you" reads like "You weren't cut out for it." "It was a learning experience" reads like "It was a mistake." "Most people couldn't do it" reads like "Why would you be an exception?" Really, it felt like holding the burden of proof. Like impostor syndrome to the nth degree and a never-ending lust to substantiate myself in the eyes of people who couldn't even be bothered to look up from their paperwork and sincerely see me. Like standing in a room of people who have been doing this longer than I've been alive and attempting to plea my nonexistent potential. Not unlike a flash flood, the rug got pulled and all I can think of is that bible quote about seventy-seven times forgiveness. Lift up the receiver, I'll make you a believer |
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Just why. It's so gross. We need to get you some personal finance help! This is only tangentially related and not a statement on you, but one of the nonprofits I work with consists of me making budget plans for people who were recently homeless and have just gotten back on their feet. A lot of the people I work with have only been at their job for less than a month or been in an apartment for a week or two. My role is to gather all of their financial information and then consult with them on their bills, disposable income, purchases, and stuff like that. It's shocking to see the financial decisions people make after just being homeless. I'm like, dude, you were just homeless 2 weeks ago. 
I have seen so much of the disasters it has caused with some people. I have in the past been unconsciously roped into financial situations that were most unpleasant and having to make sensible plans to unravel them.
