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 |  yes... I'm addicted. |
Another day another blog... I ran out of space in the other one right when I was gonna reveal the meaning of life...and now, I've forgotten what it was...so I need another blog to figure it all out... love you all   If you REALLY need to catch up on the rest of my life darlings... it's here... (well not REALLY the rest of my life, but a smidgen of my existence taken at brief intervals)
new journal
Jaren is Avarielle   made this painting for me...** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Much of the stuff I write here has to do with 'growing' as a person... I like to reflect about what I'm doing and where I'm going... and frankly I'm pretty good... and I thank my lucky stars about that... One of things I also do in my journal... is harp on things that I don't like about individuals...usually because I like to have a sounding board about 'why' I might disagree with the way people act. But one thing I'd never do... is harp about something that someone can't control... especially mental illness... that said it's soooo important that someone with extreme mood swings and diagnosed mental illness get help... For me it would be as simple as getting rid of hormones... now that's a thought... |
| I miss Shakespeare... I haven't read him in eons... and I was reminded of his euphemisms for certain things... and here we go... sex... is the double-backed beast... simple, direct... appropriate... just damn excellent... shit I wish I could write like that... simple, direct, appropriate and just damn brilliant. |
| I've returned to the place I used to be... People are now coming and talking to me about all sorts of things... I used be the type of person where I just did my work and no one bothered me... sort of the ability NOT to be a warm and fuzzy person... In fact, I'm still not particularly warm and fuzzy...but people are telling me allll sorts of things... I must just seem more approachable... When I was a teenager and before, I was always the person that people came to with their problems. People used to confide in me all the time. At one point that stopped, probably because I just couldn't handle it anymore... now I'm back to a place where I feel secure and happy, I'm more open, easy going and approachable. and I feel good again... about work and everything... I have to finish my class in the next two weeks and then I'm home free for awhile... things will get better at work and it's just up to me to help the best I can. |
| I went in and talked to the female attorney whom I've had a few issues with... because well...someone else came to me with the same issue...and being incredibly STUPID... I decided I needed to stick my nose in and try to 'nip the bud' tell the person that really she could be a better manager if she was little more human and didn't blame others for mistakes they didn't make... which in fact I did say...and she apologized and said she makes mistakes... but in the end I went away feeling like a complete WENCH...because well... she really is being driven to the bone...and has no support and is getting into the middle of an ABSOLUTE mess... she started crying... sooo anyway..my thoughts on it... she should just hire a new team by herself... interview people from the ground up... and go from there... christ... I'm such an IDIOT... why the hell am I getting involved in office politics??? why???? because well I hate the thought of anyone getting trod on... the legal assistants especially and myself especially... shit I suck at the corporate world... someone once said I just don't have the 'soulessness' of the attorney... *shrugs* yeah it's true... and since I've been writing it's even more apparent... anyway... partially out of GUILT...and partially because I want to just help... I agreed to help train everyone... new attorneys, paralegals et al... that made me feel a little better... |
Cappucine  had this delicious name for a 'political party' for which the acronymn was FSP.... so it got me thinking...Facist Scumbag Party (FSP) Moderate Wishy-Washy Party (MWWP) Liberal Losing Party (LLP) Conservative Arm-Twisitng Party (CATP) Mindless Mind - Numbing Party (MMNP) Bribery and Blackmail Party (BBP) Bible Thumping Party (BTP) and the one I'm a VERY pround member Twisted and Angst Party or T&A Party and yeah I've got some of those toooo .... |
wow... probably been overwritten about... but just so you understand how seriously I take this whoooolleeee overpopulation thingy... I'm being 'fixed'  next month... new procedure... less invasive...sort of the female equivalency to the vasectomy... anyway... I AM EXTREMELY EXCITED... because welll... now I can have sex anywhere and with anyone... wellll not anyone... but it does make you ponder... I was telling a friend of mine why it was my decision to do so... and I wasn't really interested in having my spouse do it... She: Yeah I can understand that... I mean even if John Travolta shows up... you wouldn't be interested... Me: Welll yeahhhh 'sex' sure 'babies' nope... anyway... John T. IF you've lost some weight and you're reading my blog... actually nevermind... I'm toooo tired... I have a newborn you know... probably 299,996,965... |
| I can't be superficial when I talk to people... well in RL I can be somewhat... just because my professional/social circles demands it but those conversations are usually just minutes of talking...i.e. really acquiantances. But there are a couple of people on WDC that have become the sounding board for me... and it's very much appreciated... and even offline I have a couple of people like that... anyway my point? I just can't do superficial.... not in my blood... and the result is I have very few close friends... and a few of my closest friends I actually don't even know their REAL names... now that's funny... in fact, I think it MIGHT help not to know their real names... and not being around them in RL... because I can talk with a degree of anonyminty (or however you spell that) and I can't feel or see their judgment... it does also mean my personal relationships can be intense... which has it's ups and downs... but I wouldn't have it any other way... so be forewarned.. you want to talk to me I MAY get inside... and consume what's left of your brain so I can be smarter and smarter and smarter Muhhhawwwwaaa (actually that's sort of between an evil laugh and a cat wail).... one more step towards my plans of world domination... |
| Not sure why...just because I'm suppose to be getting work done and I'm not... christ... and here I am proclaiming myself over negative thinking???? LOL... who's friggin fooling themselves... ahhhh welllll soooo I come here and proclaim my pessimism to the whole world... and I feel like a loser... why the hell don't they just nuke us... direct hit... painless... then I wouldn't have to work at alllll... I just have to get this crap done and then I'll be better... alll better... maybe I need a glass of wine with this whine... at least I won't be overthinking my procrastination anymore... my poor students...they deserve better... *shrugs* but then again maybe not... gawds sometimes I JUST HATE THE WORLD for all its stupidity... ********************************* a few seconds later... Little girl: "Momma...I like you... I 'rough' you..." Now I'm better |
| "We need our space." Pamela tossed his heart in the air and did a side kick with her boot clad foot. John watched his heart sail acroos the room and land with a splat on the wall. It slowly melted down the wall, where it landed with a slight wet sound. It was still intact,but barely, but then she walked over... "We can't see each other anymore." and placed a stilleto heel through the pinkish organ and he watched the blood gush out. "Yeah... okay... whatever." John's face had gone white, probably from lack of his beating heart. "I really mean it. John" Pamela leaned forward and was gazing at him intently over the cafe table. He wondered why she had to rub it in. He believed her. After all she'd never lied to him before. "You sleeping with my best friend?" Pamela sat back... "Shit...that's just low." He shrugged and looked at his hands. He wondered what would happen if he started to strangle her. He thought better of it... being in a public place. "I've already taken the stuff out of the apartment." "Okay... " The momentary burst of anger, was now replaced by welcome numbness and a feeling of emptiness. He suddenly wanted his mother and to curl up on her lap and cry. He no longer felt like his 6ft swim coach self, but the toddler who could barely walk. He felt dizzy and nauseas at the same time. |
| I've been teaching a class on critical thinking and right now we are discussing Moral Dilemmas and how we approach them. Do we use only logic? Do we use our background? Do we use only our 'morality?' Here's a link which discusses some of the issues involved: http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/moral-dilemmas/ I think nothing is ever clear cut... I think you need to be very careful about making sweeping judgments about what you will and will not do. Never say never is a pretty good philosophy in general. Absolutes when it comes to 'morality' can actually get you into trouble. However, that said you do need to draw the line somewhere... I really think we need to remain 'outraged' about certain things in this world... if we don't we'll let people continually get away with murder...lol... but I don't care who's in power, we need to be intune to what is a moral outrage and what is harmless in the end. So you look to the 'logical' reasoning to see if your moral outrage is justified... I don't think we can shrug our shoulders and say... wow NOOOO big surprise... there's a point where we really do NEED to care.... although frankly, not caring to watch or respond to the news these days... nothing we can do...except let the powers that be wag penises at each other...and hope they don't splatter nuclear sperm on everyone |
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