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 |  yes... I'm addicted. |
Another day another blog... I ran out of space in the other one right when I was gonna reveal the meaning of life...and now, I've forgotten what it was...so I need another blog to figure it all out... love you all   If you REALLY need to catch up on the rest of my life darlings... it's here... (well not REALLY the rest of my life, but a smidgen of my existence taken at brief intervals)
new journal
Jaren is Avarielle   made this painting for me...** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
"Invalid Entry"  by Melissa is fashionably late! Or maybe I'm just becoming a more willing listener... who knows... but I just talked to another woman who not two weeks ago was dumped by some guy who got cold feet... at the last minute he said "why don't we try working on things" and to her credit... she told him that she wouldn't be around if he came around... what is it about us that makes us soooo masochistic? Why do we go back in? You know romantic relationships are hard... even the good ones are hard... they make you all twirled up inside... and then you let yourself out there... 'you get naked' with that person...emotionally and spiritually...and they can either respect it or stomp all over it When someone violates the emotional nakedness either with scorn, or lack of concern when you were positive you could trust them, you are left with nothing but hurt You'd HOPE you've chosen wisely enough that they'd respect it even after it's over... but hurt feelings makes monsters out of people... especially people who aren't mature enough to handle it... Someone once told me that it really is a wonder that men and women get together... we're soooo different... |
| I had two very intense conversations with women at work yesterday. One who is in fear of her job and wants a clean break and the other who just got out of sticky relationship... actually NOT really so sticky more like... Well we've had an intense five months and NOW, I'm ready to move on... even after we've gone to my folks house for you to visit them... The guy dumped her...stone cold... completely and wouldn't return her phone calls... she's moved on after two months... what was good about it was it was swift and clean... she said he was passive agressive... basically she HAD no clue something was wrong... anyway... the clean break was nice... The other girl... is scared about her review tomorrow... I said well at least she'd know tomorrow whether it's a go or not... you know that's NICE the clean break... the NO drama...better than having it drag out and I told her it reminded me of that song... (she likes my music) actually both instances reminded me of this song... Stop Draggin My Heart Around Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty Baby you'll come knocking on my front door Same old line you used to use before I said ya...well... what am I supposed to do I didn't know what I was getting into So you've had a little trouble in town Now you're keeping some demon down Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my heart around It's hard to think about what you've wanted It's hard to think about what you've lost This doesn't have to be the big get even This doesn't have to be anything at all I know you really want to tell me good-bye I know you really want to be your own girl Baby you could never look me in the eye Yeah you buckle with the weight of the words Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my heart around There's people running 'round loose in the world Ain't got nothing better to do Than make a meal of some bright eyed kid You need someone looking after you I know you really want to tell me good-bye I know you really want to be your own girl Baby you could never look me in the eye Yeah you buckle with the weight of the words Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my heart around |
| Lead entry for "Invalid Item" We're all familiar with the story of the dual personality of the ultra-good and responsible Dr. Jekyll who suppresses his 'evilness' but is overcome in the end by his alter-ego Mr. Hyde... the beast in all of us... What I find fascinating is when it becomes part of 'real-life.' The Republican Party and their dirty old man, Mr. Foley (the Republican for Florida had been IM'ng and emailing underage congressional pages with sexually explicit messages) who also LED a committee, which drafted anti-pedophile legislation is such an example. NOW if that isn’t sick...and demonstrates the complete separation of 'dirty old man' personality or in this case his 'Mr. Hyde' from his ‘Dr. Jekyll.' Anyway, what does this all lead to? I'm always fascinated by what makes people tick... we all have traits that we'd rather repress the trick is to know what they are and diffuse these traits before they explode in some cosmic splatter, ruining your life and others... So my dark side? Well, it's probably my paranoia... it's a trait that makes me think people are out to get me... it makes me think the government always has an alternative motive and it's the part that tells me I've got to be a better person. Yeah, that's the strange part. In some ways, my paranoia helps me. Why? Because it means I also think about what I'm doing that might be getting this or that kind of reaction... and maybe I should improve on the trait in myself that’s less than desirable. Now, over the years and with `some relatively thought inducing thinking... I've come to the realization that NOT everyone is out to get me... the government is a bit twisted but isn't all amass of conspiracy AND that I continue to work at my other traits that make me a better human being. Which leads me to my last point, my strongest attribute is persistence. It's served me well by helping me to get where I am today and frankly that's a pretty good place to be. *Looks over shoulder and knocks on wood* |
| "News with a Twist..." by kittiara News? What is it? Gossip? or Actually something deeper... more meaningful... does it report facts for us all to ponder over and realize it's worthwhile to understand in order to grow...more fearful? In fact, these days I'd say the biggest selling point of the news is either 'fear' or 'cute.' It's not to inform anymore but to make us watch so we can shudder or relate in some form. It's the whole we are under 'seige' yet we can't identify the enemy... it might be the climate, *drip, drip, drip* The latest terror threat... *tick, tick, tick* or the pedophile on the internet. *click, click, click* It might happen on our front doorstep or in the classroom halls when some person goes ballistic... *bang, bang, bang* And then there's the cute... Elephant has a baby... Puppy is saved from well... *awww, awww, awww* There MUST be something between these two extremes? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| and I'm gonna FREEZE... I can feel it... .hate pressure... hate it... work nicely under the dignified and slow pace of having a time line... a project proposal... the workings and then the final product... |
| 6 yr old son: "Shit...shit...shhhhhitttt" Me: "What was that???!!! We don't use that language in this house." boy of amazing brain: "Okay... only at school?"  |
| "Invalid Entry" by Moody Blue: Needs an Upgrade I go through these phases of not being able to write poetry... nothing comes out easily...it's all garbled and confusing... I was told by a friend that poetry has become a 'gentrified niche' and if you want to get published trust your poetry intructor. I'm starting to get better at spotting the cliche and over-used expression but it's NOT easy... I can spot it in someone else's poetry right off the bat...but my own? tougher... I think you get attached to a poem the way it is... and you think 'wow' this is wonderful... or 'yuck' I can't believe I just wrote that crap... I write all of it down in my blog...just because *shrugs* it's just draft form...and not to be taken seriously... at least initially and then you wait and wait and wait... and voila a poem because you see it's worth after the downpour of time  wellll no one said I HAD to be original in a journal entry.** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/bulgariahealthsurgery mannnn.... I knew that plastic surgery had a good side effect besides making you more baggable... |
"Invalid Entry" by Katrina Kamradt  She really had no clue why this bar on this dusty street in this dusty town even appealed to her... possibly an excuse to write a bad 'film noir' scene. Someone was bound to get shot, she just hoped it wasn't gonna be her, but then if it WAS her she could stop writing bad copy. The bartender leaned forward, he looked much older than his 60 years, which would put him near death, but then again what did it matter... what did anything matter... she'd come for the crucifixion. She wondered where her knitting needles were. In the middle of the bar was a large cross and a man in a shroud. It looked rather tasteless, much like the gin the bartender had just served her. "Hey, lady, you can't sit there. That's where the pagan priest will give his last rights." "Really? What's a pagan priest?" She got out her notepad...this was starting to sound interesting. "How the hell should I know? I just work here." Wow, you'd think they were gonna be executing him. Well in fact, it could be him, she was writing the copy and she wasn't even quite sure who was gonna be executed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you..." She took another swig of gin and pulled her lips back, in fine imitation of 'B' actors. "That's okay. Killing someone in public always makes me edgy." The bartender started to wipe glasses in an edgy way. "Yeah, I suppose it would." She turned around to look at the spectacle and turned back when she heard his voice. "But it HAS to be done. It's the only way we get to atonement. We have to have the sin first, the killing of an innocent person and then we can ask for devine forgiveness." "Yeah." She wondered if she could write out the cruxifiction and go straight for the forgiveness. It might go over better with the religious right... or those with more taste... |
| told me... "You're a basket of jewels. Think of yourself as carrying that basket and protecting it. When you feel the urge to throw that basket away or to give the contents away without thought. Stop yourself. Keep those gems protected. They are yours and precious... and you are responsible for them and they are beautiful...like you." I urge all my WDC friends to keep this close to their own hearts and repeat it to themselves. When I forget this mantra, I do stupid things... |
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