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 |   New and Improved... but only slightly. |
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THE MANIFESTO REMIX You've been pwn'd by ☡.☠ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| ... not use to pick up chicks. The Kama Sutra was pirated more than any other e-book in 2009, but it wasn't the only sexified book to make the top ten list. Which proves that women are only interested in money, cause if they weren't, these cheapskates stealing e-books would already have dates and be getting some. http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10424780-71.html Five more planets found, none of them the original home of Sarah Palin. The questions of de-evolution's missing link persist. http://news.cnet.com/8301-13506_3-10424263-17.html Kenneth Noland died... yeah I don't know who that is either. http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/05/kenneth-noland-color-field-artist-i... New pictures of Fidel Castro have emerged showing the aged revolutionary enjoying the mobility and independence of a Hoveround scooter. http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/fl-castro-wheeled-chair-2010... Wait, what's this coming into the news room? [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89lFQkQPDbU |
| ... school starts the day after tomorrow. I've got a class on International Organizations and Religion and the State. Can you feel the excitement building in your groins! I can! (That is I can feel it in your groins, not mine, this s  t doesn't get me off like it does you guys... perverts). I watched an excellent flick on West Germany's Baader-Meinhoff Complex of the 60s and 70s, it was titled, oddly enough The Baader-Meinhof Complex. When you compare the (Master) Baaders with the US' Weather Underground, you feel sort of lucky. The Weathermen participated in large acts of property damage, while the Baaders, for the same social and philosophical reasons, committed acts of armed aggression and created a body count. I say "you feel" lucky, but I wasn't even a twinkle in my pa's eye when this stuff happened so you may actually feel different. I remember though my mom telling me how my grandma on my mom's side went gun crazy and thought there was going to be a revolution here in the states and blah, blah, blah... what a reactionary. Anyhoo, that's all I got, but I expect to have more this week after I attempt to return two books to the medusas working at the campus book store... they'll refund my money, but they'll probably eat my soul in the process. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JL2I1krvhIE |
... with this new stunt! Forget a blue month, forget two or three or even four strung together! I will have a BLUE YEAR!!!! That's right a solid 12 months for 2010 of back to back blog -  - wait a minute... To the calendar! Compute and enhance!... Son of a bitch! Foiled again!Well, 2010s ruined, looks like I'll have to wait till 2011 for something positive to happen. How's everyones' weekends progressing? Have they reached the inevitable conclusion that tomorrow is Monday and the holidays are over? School starts on Wednesday and as I look back over the break I realize... I ain't did s  t! What a waste.I think the bane of my existence is myself. Laziness... that's whats did me wrong. Alright, I got the Eagles over Dallas 24 - 21, any takers? Hey! Never mind the Sandra Bollocks, here's the Sex Pistols! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQkActP-isE |
| ... and it comes with a mustache. Yes, after nearly thir - less than thirty years, far less... more like a fraction of years past 20, like, still a mainstream marketable age - I have stumbled into what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. That's right, I have found my purpose, and that purpose is nomadism, I am to be a Gypsy. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2JEz0VqHac That's right, this modern society with all its modern ways and modernity is just not my thing anymore. It's time for me to hit the dusty trail. Being a Gypsy isn't as easy as it sounds. I will have to learn a whole new culture. I will have to master the ancient art of knife fighting and learn to play a fiddle. But it will be worth it. Gypsy women are famous the world over for their beauty, and, if From Russia With Love taught us anything, it's that Gypsy women will fight each other to the death (or nudity) for a quality hombre (i.e. ME). So, I will load up the old "Ciganski Workhorse", a 2001 Ford Escort, and set off to find a roving band of Gypsies like myself. I'll sew and sell woolen socks made from paper towels to buy food and vodka... or just vodka, and at night I'll settle in me tent with a bevy of head wrapped, beaded jewelry wearing, wolfman cursing Ciganskya (did I do that right? conjugate that is?). It's a tough road I travel... but it's my road, on a steel horse I'll ride... I'm wanted wanted in bed with your wife. (See what I did there... genius, comic gold). If anyone has any suggestions, or could perhaps write me a wonderful letter of rec to a Gypsy tribe, it would be much appreciated! |
| ... to rock, I salute you. I have sworn not to celebrate the New Years... that doesn't mean I won't get trashed tonight, it just means it will be a drunk without reason. Like a normal Thursday night. HOLY CRAP! RUSH LIMBAUGH IS IN THE HOSPITAL! Apparently the thunderous mound of stupidity is suffering chest pains that are just too much for his pain pills. Here's to a speedy recovery, ass-h  e.I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday night and a great Friday and beyond (see, I'm not acknowledging the New Year). |
| ... I have a knack for the sciences. I was officially schooled in the science of love, but my knowledge extends to the science of science. I often come home on these cold winter eves and do some science, as doing science is my passion. In any event, over the weekend someone forced the new Star Trek movie on me. Since it came out on DVD there has always been someone there to try and press me into watching it. That's the worst way to get me to watch a movie. If someone tells me that a movie is awesome in tones I find too enthusiastic, I get turned off. You have to speak to me as someone who went to film school, in muted tones, cause art is deep and heavy... entertainment, pop, is light and fluffy. So I watched J.J. Abrams' Stark Trek and thought it was okay... except for a glaring scientific mistake! In short, Scotty, we are told, is on his way to finding an equation for transporting matter anywhere in space, fixed or unfixed locations. Future Spock gives him the equation and Scotty says, "I never thought of space as the moving object"... really? Really, Scotty? Cause guess what, that's the whole idea behind warp drive! I told you the No Starfleet Cadet Left Behind plan would fail. Warp drive wasn't invented by Stark Trek as a fantastic means of transport. It's more or less, under different names, a theory that takes advantage of Einstein's theory of relativity. Dig it: traveling over great distances takes time, and traveling at the speed of light is impossible for us as we'd gain so much matter at that speed we'd be crushed. BUT! if you can bend space, bringing point A to point B one could "travel" faster than the speed of light - hence warping space. The space ship doesn't move, space does. Therefore, I call shenanigans on Star Trek... it has felt my scorn. And because you all stopped reading this at the title, I will embed a video where you will no doubt skip to and then at least have something to comment on: [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOWx5G76pkU Gypsy-science punk, can you dig it? |
| ... on Christmas Day. Nothing like a white Christmas by any means, but you know... snowing is half the battle. Is it sad when the only gift you're excited about is a bottle of Jameson? Now that the Christmas crap is over and done with we can start looking ahead to 2010... or as I call it, another year of failing miserably. It's a bleak future indeed... The Rams will probably be no better than they are now and the Cardinals will probably lose Matt Holiday on the free agent market... bleak! AND I have a birthday scheduled for next year where all I do is get older with nothing to show for it... bleak! The only thing I have to look forward to is 2012... the movie... coming out on DVD... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... before the world ends in 2012.... the year. You know what's funny about this Mayan 2012 thing? This is the first time white, Christians have listened to the indigenous peoples of the New World and wouldn't you know it pertains to a threat (real or perceived) to the cracker-culture: "I'm just gonna spend a good five hundred years eradicating your culture and brain washing your young into Christ's church, and - what's that? End of the world? You mean MY world!?! Holy f  king s! Man the life boats! Sorry, Mayans, no room. Grab the Reagan pictures and my Chaney momentos!"But hey, the future won't be that bad... unless the History Channel is right. |
| ... you always wanted moar toys. {center] ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Well I ain't got no moar toys to give you! You'll have to live with this! Another episode of RESERVOIR BLOGS, your favorite newsletter on WdC... or second favorite, it's somewhere up there. "Invalid Entry"  Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and I won't come back till 2010...drunk!!! |
| ... New York Times, South Koreans are on a mission to increase their kids' height. They equate a nice, tall stature to success and there's no limit to what they'll do to get their kids stretched out. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/23/world/asia/23seoul.html?pagewanted=1&partner=r... Wait... what's that in the distance? A solution emerges! To South Korea's finest ladies, I stand here measuring at 6 feet & 4 inches of awesome. Give me a call, I'm here to serve you and make you tall babies. Like a week or so ago I e-mailed the VA volunteer services thingy to see about offering my time over the holiday break at, I assumed, the hospital near Jefferson barracks. There was a flyer at school, everything appeared on the up-n-up and wouldn't you know... they never got back to me! This isn't the first time the army has shunned me though. I offered my services once before for their covert operations cause I'm a total bad ass, Bond like muther, and they laughed in my face! They said, and I quote, "Your 'mad Call of Duty, X-Box skills' don't equate to practical, battlefield experience, no matter how many weapon attachments you've unlocked." End quote. They'll get back to me, I'm guessing, after school starts again and I have no free time. This is what I've learned about volunteer work and charity over the years: no one ever gives time or money that comes at a sacrifice to themselves. Rich people give a lot of money to charity, but never so much as to change their standard of living. Volunteers offer their free time, and never infringe on recreational, work or school what nots. So now, because I just typed that out loud, I'll have to do it in the middle of school work to prove I put money/mouth. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWNQw4V40zU I'll probably get a letter about that. |
| ... is INTERNATIONAL LOVE A BOOSTER DAY. That's right, today is that one day of the year (in the middle of capitalism's great holiday) that we honor those brave men and women that rob from the corporations to give to us at discount prices! "A pox on ye blogimation, Zapernicus! Why honor thieves!?!" If you gotta ask, you're probably already a tool of the socio-corporate environment. Dig it, most people don't make enough to live in the fashion that TV commercials tell us is acceptable. So, brave boosters hit the stores and level the playing field. That's just the entrepreneur spirit, and buying boosted makes materialism acceptable in my book. In South Saint Louis I know where to go to get cheap movies, tires, clothes, cell-phones, video games, toiletries, and whatever else you want. It all comes out the trunk of a few cars. Boom. The way I figure it, corporations are gonna steal from me anyway, I might as well buy the stuff stolen from them. Back in my retail days I boosted a few things. Yeah, what of it? I didn't need that 20% discount, but damnit, I needed some new kicks... and a sweater vest... or two... and some shorts... ... and a new Nike baseball glove... but that's just me taking what I was owed.The merchandise is insured anyway with a cushion for losses before rates go up. I don't know what the acceptable amount of shrinkage is, but it's fairly high (depending, I'm sure, but where I used to work they never went up). So, I went in search of this particular song I knew would be perfect to embed here, and YouTube didn't have it... but NPR did ! Under the headline "A Song for the Shoplifter", The Coup's "I Love Boosters" was the NPR song of the day May 26th, 2006.http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5419268 Thoughts, comments, suggestions? Did you ever boost? |
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