%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
A continuation of my journal "Almost Angelic" |
| Welcome to my life! The ups and downs, ins and outs, tos and fros. Its a crazy ride...hang on! |
| Sometimes your friends suck. Especially when they're hypercompetitive people. I'm mentioned A here before- the one who is "the best medical student ever" and still applied to 50 programs? Well turns out she's NOT the best, or even in the top 10% as she didn't make it into the medical honor society. But I feel like I'm being personally screwed over by her. How, you ask? Well despite the fact that I KNOW she has no interest in non-academic programs she still has applied to several...including a bunch I told her I was applying to. (Yeah I know I don't own the programs, but I'm being bitchy.) Anyway now she has 28 (TWENTY-EIGHT!!!!) interviews scheduled, seven of which are at programs I applied to. First off NOBODY can do twenty-eight interviews all across the US in two and a half months. It's called burn-out and she's shooting herself in the foot. Secondly, why has she agreed to interviews of programs I KNOW she has no interest in? Yes, I am a little jealous, but I'm also pissed because she's taking an interview spot of someone (not necessarily me) that is more deserving than her, who actually WANTS to be at that interview. I need new friends.  GoCartCherub |
I'm sick.  And I make a terrible patient. Really it's nothing big, but it is miserable. I'm calling it viral pharyngitis with a layer of allergic rhinitis and the first twinges of my asthma acting up. That combines to create a picture where I have a sore throat, almost no voice, a dry painful cough, an itchy nose, constantly popping ears, a bit feverish, and unable to remain awake longer than 4 hours at a time. It is miserable. And so, despite the fact that I am 28 and just under 7 months from being a physician I called the only doctor I wanted- my mom. (Just ignore the fact that my mom actually IS a doctor!!) Five minutes of her being "Dr. Mom" and commiserating with me made me feel ten times better. And she didn't tell me anything I didn't know- keep taking an NSAID until I can control my temp, use my inhaler more since viral infections trigger asthma attacks, and drink lots of fluid- especially mint tea with honey. (The last is because she knows I'll actually drink that when I'm sick, but I don't like water when I'm sick for some reason.) So now I've turned the temp down in my apartment (because its still getting into the 80s every friggin' day!!!!) and I'm drinking hot tea. My only goal for tonight- I have to drink this whole pot before I'm allowed to get (back) into bed. I think the only one truly enjoying this is the cat as he has a snuggle buddy all day long instead of just at night!  GoCartCherub |
| I got sick for the first time in a year and a half. I made it through all of my 3rd year of med school without getting sick, despite practically bathing in swine flu. But after an hour and a half of taking care of newborns to crawlers at church I now have the mother of all sour throats, a headache, and the sniffles coming on. Awesome. I got my Step 2 score back today. I improved my score 41 points over my Step I score. Which means I improved my score about twice what most students improve their scores, but it fell short of the score I really wanted by 4 points. A small difference, I know, but still mildly dissapointing. Maybe this will allow me to get more interviews though. I also now have 7 interviews. I still am hopeful for more! I really need the 12-15 range to have a good match list and avoid going through Scramble. GoCartCherub |
| I've been kinda bummin' lately. There have been a number of reasons, some more selfish than others: One of my professors died very suddenly last Thursday at the age of 60. I'd in fact seen him that morning and he was his normal happy, smiling self. The next day the school sent out an e-mail about his passing. Not only is it sad and shocking to lose someone like him, but its so hard to come to terms with the idea of a young man with two teen daughters present and lively one minute and gone the next. I went to his funeral on Sunday and there were easily over a thousand people in attendance. I don't claim to know him well and probably could have skipped the funeral but I know that I've never regreted attending a funeral, though I have regretted missing one. He was a wonderful man who loved God, his wife, his daughters, his friends, as well as science and teaching. It's hard to make sense of a situation like this, but I was glad to have known him, even just a little bit. I'm kinda lonely. Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful friends. But if you read my last entry you might notice I'm feeling extremely...single. I am, afterall, 28, never married, no children, no boyfriend, and a cat the size of a minature pony. If that doesn't scream "Spinster" I don't know what does! I don't regret the choices I've made in my life, and I'm so excited about the future possibilities. But in the end a degree does not make for a warm bedfellow, and it can't cook you breakfast, and it can't leave its socks on the floor (though I do an admirable job of that for myself). So, yeah, I'm a little lonely for the constant companionship of a relationship. I've also been bumming about interviews. The quickest way for me to freak out is to receive an e-mail from one of the assistant deans. I put the e-mail at the bottom for your edification.  When the e-mail was sent to me I had 5 interview offers, 31 applications, and 2 rejections. I freaked out since he told me I should have at least 8 interviews already! So I contacted my advisor and then applied to another local program that has a pretty high acceptance rate of UAB students. She told me not to freak out since my Step II scores aren't back yet. My Step I score was borderline so to have received that many interviews without my Step II score means that my letters of rec were exceptional. My Step II should be back in about a week and (hopefully!!!!) will be much improved. But it had been over a week since I'd been offered an interview and I'd kinda gotten used to getting at least one interview offer a week, so I was still a bit bummed, despite her encouraging words. BUT I checked my e-mail just now and I have another interview offer! In Portland, Oregon!!! Yay! I'm up to 6 interviews now! Wohooo!As I said. Some of this down feeling is for real reasons, some just my own pathos. Maybe its a cyclic "girly" thing. But I'm going to stay positive about interviews, and even if I only get 6 total I'm going to kick butt on those six! And besides I get to see my nephew tomorrow and he's so cute he makes everything okay!  GoCartCherub Future colleagues, I am writing you to ask that you review your interview invitations now. If you sense that you are not getting positive responses, now is the time to make adjustments in your strategy. In fact, “time’s a’wastin” if you want match success. Here are some thoughts about this process: 1. Residency programs have been reading applications and extending interview invitations for forty days. Many interview opportunities have been extended and accepted. 2. Generally, I would expect you to have at least eight interview invitations now. This may be different for orthopedics and some other programs, but one must be sure that it is happening all over one’s chosen specialty. Contact your advisor or me if you have any question whatsoever about your number of invitations. 3. Generally, we would like for you to interview at and rank at least twelve programs. This is because the overall number for the 2009 match was 9.4 ranked programs in the same field by seniors who matched. Last year’s match was much tighter, and we expect this year’s match to be even more difficult. Hence, twelve is now the minimum target for interviewing and ranking programs. You can read all the data for the 2009 match at http://www.aamc.org/programs/cim/chartingoutcomes.pdf. This is the most recent match data available. 4. Adding more programs in one’s favorite field right now is not likely to be successful. It can be tried, you should also apply now in a second field if you have not been successful in getting interviews in your most favored field. 5. For many of us, admitting that our first choice does not seem to be working out may be too painful to approach. However, now is the best time to face this worrisome news, because there is more maneuvering space available than there will be at any other time, including Scramble Day. Nevertheless, that maneuvering space is receding rapidly. The risk of possibly not matching in a favorite specialty needs to be acted on very soon. 6. If you think you would rather stay out and do research for a year if you do not match, please learn from your advisor whether doing so actually will improve your chances for a match next year. This is very specialty specific and sometimes very student specific. 7. Some of you may use a preliminary year as a backup. Again, this is very specialty specific. Talk with your advisor, your MSPE writer, or me about this. 8. Preliminary years, required for many categorical programs which begin in PGY-2, have become scarcer, as well. Please remember to apply to at least eight, more safely at least twelve, programs. Transitional programs are most competitive, followed by preliminary medicine, and then by preliminary surgery. However, preliminary surgery may not be acceptable to some programs which start with the PGY-2 year, such as categorical neurology. Preliminary surgery is acceptable to many other categorical programs starting in the PGY-2 year. Check the requirements of each program to be sure. Please contact me if you have any question whatsoever about this material. We want you to have the very best opportunity to get what you want. |
| Perseverance is not always a good thing. Such as when you still obsess about something years after it happened. Those of you who have been following my journals for a long time may remember this episode: "Invalid Entry"  Followed by: "Invalid Entry" The other day I was remembering all that had happened. The truth is that I'm still hurt about what went down. What's funny is that the thing that really hurt about the whole episode was that it played off one of my deepest fears. I really, truly fear that I'm somehow unlovable and will never fall in love or get married. Let's face it- I'm 28 and have never been super serious about anyone. The longest any relationship has lasted is 6 weeks. That's a far cry from a lifetime I would expect out of a marriage. During that "joke" part of what hurt was that it was funny to them too because my friends must also think I'm somewhat unlovable to make it funny. And let's face it- they're kinda right. Brent is married with a kid on the way. Matt and Jaime are still married. Chad is married with a child. Gary is engaged. Sara is about to get engaged (her boyfriend is ring shopping!!!!) In fact of the entire group that was there that night I'm the only one who is still single. Granted, I'm the only one who has or will have a doctorate degree. Still, is this a case of a self-fufilling prophecy? Or did my friends see something in me five years ago that has me still single today? GoCartCherub |
| I'm not much of a crier. I've made it through weddings, births, illnesses, and deaths and shed nary a tear. But when it comes to movies, tv shows, books, and sometimes even commercials I will well up and turn on the sniffles. I have to now admit something that may make you lose some respect for me. I'm a Glee fan. I know, the shame. But it's how I imagine my life to be- random breaking out into song in my daily life. This past week's episode dealt with some hefty issues. One of the kid's father had an arrythmia that caused anoxic brain injury (lack of oxygen to the brain). That's one of those situations that people often don't recover from. After I got over the fact that the dad supposedly had been unconscious for a week with a normal heart rythym but had rapid breaths but no respirator, and no form of nutrition either via Nasogastric tube or IV (I know, I'm such a dork)- the story really got to me. The characters in the show struggled with belief in God and the meaning of faith. I always loved the definition that faith is the belief in things unseen. It's impossible to just say "I have faith", you have to say what you have faith in. You may have faith in God, or a grilled cheese sandwich, or alternative medicine. I have faith in many things- but it all really boils down to one thing. I have faith in the power of Love. I believe that God is Love- and not the sappy romantic fluff they feed us in romance comedies, but the true, deep, selfless, gut wrenching love that, if we're lucky, we feel every once in a while. (Agape love for the C.S. Lewis fans). I also believe in the basic goodness and kindness in people- the love of your fellow man. I believe in parental love. I believe in romantic love. And I believe that they all take a lot of work sometimes! In this episode there are two scenes that were particularly heartbreaking for me. In one the character with the ill father doesn't believe in God but agrees to accompany his friend to church as they have dedicated the service to his father. During the song "Bridge Over Troubled Water" a very old, old, old woman sitting next to this young disenfranchised man takes his hand and gives it just the slightest squeeze. He is so surprised and overwhelmed by that simple act of a loving touch from a stranger. I admit, I started tearing up. The next scene is with Sue, the bitter cheerleading coach, and her older sister who has Down's Syndrome. Sue doesn't believe in God because of the teasing she saw her sister endure. The two talk about faith and God and the older sister says "God doesn't make mistakes" and then offers to pray for Sue. Again, I cry. It's so easy sometimes to forget how little it takes to love someone, whether it be a squeeze of the hand or a prayer. I'm quick with a smile, a reassuring pat on the arm, or tissues if the need arises. You could say those are acts of love, but too often I let them just be my job. It's hard to love others all the time. And while the tissue might help with the tears the love behind the act helps even more. So my resolve is to love more...even the unlovables. To let my actions be a true reflection of my spirit and to get to that place where love becomes not just a word but an action. And I resolve to stop crying. At least during commericals. GoCartCherub |
| Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! What's with getting actual rejection letters? I thought most programs just left you hanging. This is the letter I got today: Thank you for your interest in the internal medicine residency training program at Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Unfortunately, we are unable to extend an invitation to interview with our program. Though we had over 4,000 applicants, I tried to review each application. In addition, each application was also reviewed by a member of our faculty. I hope you realize that the screening process is an inexact science, and I am absolutely certain that there are many outstanding future clinicians and scientists that we did not invite. I hope that you will succeed in reaching your long-term career goals. I also hope that you will prove our decision today was wrong, and that you will accomplish and even exceed the lofty aspirations that were defined in your personal statements. With Best wishes, Bleeeep Bleeeeep Program Director Seriously? "I tried to review each application"??? I'm sorry but I have spent serious money and time to send that application to your program. You need to read the damn thing. As for the placating little lines- I'd rather they just tell me what was wrong with my application. Were my scores not high enough? Were my letters of rec not good enough? Did I take a funny picture? Did you hate my personal statement? What? Please just tell me! But hey, I have five interviews. That's halfway to my minimum goal of 10 and one third of the way to my max goal of 15. Hopefully my Step II score will kick ass and the interviews will come rolling in. *sigh* GoCartCherub |
| Interview number five came in!!!!! St Louis university! More details later when I'm not on an iPod. GoCartCherub |
| As I was searching through the radio stations on my drive home this afternoon I heard a commentator saying that creativity has gone out of the world. Really? I must not have gotten the memo. I think he was trying to make a point that children need more education in the arts, a point with which I completely agree. But he began to decry the loss of musicality and human craftsmanship. At this point I must disagree with the commentator. I truly believe that creativity today is very different than it was 100 or 1000 years ago. While music and art continue to be created the creative forces of our nation and our world are chaneled into something far less romantic: science and business. Think about the creative business practices of the last decade. Certainly they didn't pan out in the way people hoped and I, for one, am glad I had the shelter of my education these last several years. But still, people sought to make something new, to create. The same goes for science, especially medical science. There are thousands of drugs on the market, and for each drug that we use another 50 never even made it to the public. Research grants are given to people in the pursuit of something new...to the most creative. I know at this moment some of you are screaming that true creative genius would never be about money. Again I say, really? Think about one of the most prolific artists (or as he would describe himself, sculptor)- Michelangelo. Having seen the Sistine Chapel, The David, 3 of his Pietas, and countless other works I can atest to the fact that the man was truly creative, and a genius. He was imaginative, innovative, and original- and any other definition for creative you might come up with. And yet the man spent much of his life as the pet to Medici Popes. Artists gotta eat too. But what about Shakespeare? Ah, he too was a commerical artist, creating to please the masses. But again, he still was incredibly creative, a true genius. So, no, I don't think we fail to teach our children creativity, or that creativity is less valued today. It's just different. Oh, and by the way, my test was today. It sucked, but not nearly as bad as Step I. I wasn't nearly so exhausted at the end of the test, probably because I actually slept last night. I know I got some questions wrong already, but there were also a lot of easy questions too. And some I totally pulled out of my ass. Such as treating von Willebrand deficiency with DDAVP, a drug normally used to treat diabetes insipidus. I knew it was right but couldn't remember why! But, I will say that creativity isn't particularly valued on that test! GoCartCherub |
| My Step II exam is tomorrow. Actually it starts in about 11 1/2 hours. This is the exam that I've been putting off, and putting off. Initially I was going to take it mid-September, and then I pushed it up to July (because I had all that free time during my research months). Then all that crap with stress/not sleeping, and then figuring out the ADD took some time to sort. So now its at the end of September and I'm finally taking the test. So really its only two weeks "late" but its been hanging over my head since June. So tomorrow is D-day. I'm so scared. But so ready to get this over with. GoCartCherub |
| You can't believe how much time I spend thinking, talking, and asking about poop. It's like I'm knee deep in shit at all times For example, I just took a practice test this afternoon. Question after question mentioned poop. Foul-smelling, diarrhea, sinker, floater greasy, mucoid, tarry black (i.e. bloody), maroon (i.e. bloody), and bright red (i.e. bloody). The list goes on. And yes there are three different types of bloody shit that we worry about. And then there's the always fun "feculant vomit" which basically means you just vomited up shit. FROM YOUR MOUTH. (Well, your lower GI, but it passed through your mouth.) And if talking about shit and shit related diseases weren't enough, there are then non-shit diseases that affect your shit. For example, did you know that acholic, or clay colored, stools suggest a pancreatic etiology. Because, dear friends, bile acid (the stuff we make to chew up fat) is what causes stool to be brown. So when your pancreas decides to stop releasing bile because, say, a big nasty tumor is wrapped around the common bile duct, you can get non-brown stools. Of course your stools are still a little brown, and they smell, but that's because bacteria make they smell and, by the way, most of your shit is made of bacteria. (I'll bet you start washing your hands after you go to the bathroom now.) So yeah, I spend my life talking about shit. Ain't that glamorous? GoCartCherub |
| Yes, I'm talking about residnecy match again. Sorry if this is boring, but as my last post shows, I'm obsessed! I have applied to thirty residency programs, thirty one if you count the bastards who rejected me already. (Michigan State, you tossers, was I too good for you or something? Because believe me, you were considered a backup. Jerks.) But let's ignore that mistake and pretend it didn't happen. So thirty programs ranging in size from 2-43 internal medicine residents. All together that means I've applied to 574 positions. Yes, you read that right 574 positions. Whoops. That might be a bit of an overkill. And looking at the stats for US grads who only ranked Internal Medicine (some people will apply to IM as a backup in case they don't get their first choice in a more competitive field) only 2.8% of US grads who only ranked IM didn't match. I may not be in the top 3% of US grads, but I'm pretty sure I'm not in the bottom 3% either. Now, as I'm NOT in that top 3%...or even top 10% I'm going to assume I'm not super competitive for the top hospitals in the US, of which I applied to several. (Hey, I can dream!) So if I exclude those programs I lose 5 programs and 187 spots, which still leaves me with 387 slots. (All 5 were big programs with 30+ IM residents). However, as of now, I have 4 interviews for a total of 63 possible positions. So far I have a better than 10% return on my applications. But that still leaves 21 programs and 324 spots up in the air...Of course I haven't given up on my top program, which happens to be at one of those "honor roll" hospitals. They have a killer Women's Health program which I would LOVE to be able to do. They have 31 spots, and anywhere from 2-6 of those spots are Women's Health spots. But let me be positive. I have 63 certain chances to match, and 511 still up in the air. Those 187 "dream" spots haven't been denied to me yet, and I may well get a chance at them. Are you guys sick of Match talk yet? It's a long way until March 17th...so be prepared to feel the pain of Match obsession until then. GoCartCherub |
| If you've been reading this journal for any amount of time you know about my obsessive tendencies. I don't shy away from my neuroses, I embrace them with a full on bear hug. Here are just a few things I'm obsessing about lately: My schedule: As a fourth year I'm required to do a Medicine Acting Internship(AI)(DONE!), a Critical Care AI(starts in 5 weeks), and an Outpatient AI(doing that in March). I'm also required to do at least 16 weeks of electives, of which I've done 4. As my schedule stands now I'll finish all my course work the 3rd weeks of April, which leaves me a little less than two months to find an apartment, graduate, move, and get all my affairs in order before I disappear into my residency. Seems simple, no? Well apparently not. There are several electives I would love to take, EKG reading, Master of Physical Diagnosis, Nutrition, Medical Genetics, to name a few. But scheduling these has been near impossible! They're all full for now so every couple of days I check the add/drop site to see if anything has opened up. You may scoff but this actually worked in my favor once- previously my Critical Care AI was scheduled for late November/ early December- right in the middle of interview season. Someone dropped the course and I caught the availability so I was able to move it forward so that the only part of the Nov/Dec/Jan interview season I'll be missing are the first 2 1/2 weeks of November. See? Obsessing does work! Interviews: Surprise, surprise. This became more of an obsession when I was going through my gmail calendar updating my schedule/plotting interviews. One of my friend's (A) calendar came up. "A" is a friend who likes to drop comments such as "They told me I was the best student they've ever had" or "So and so asked to write a letter of recommendation for me" and my favorite "They told me I could have a radiology residency if I wanted it, I just had to ask." Now, don't get me wrong, A is smart, hard working, and kind. She is not, however, shy about telling you how awesome she is. She never does it in a mean way, but after 3 1/2 years of hearing details I wouldn't think to share with others you start to catch on that maybe, just maybe, she's bragging. Hell, I've received evals saying how "exceptional" I was, and have had several attendings express desires to write LOR for me, one of the Deans even offered to send "letters of commendation" outside the match program to bolster my applications. But you don't hear me telling all and sundry about it- my family, and one good friend told in confidence...and now you guys. As I was saying I noticed her calendar and saw that she had several internal medicine interviews listed...and then several more...and then several more. Twelve, in fact, as of my last count. Suddenly I started freaking out of my measly three interviews. And then I started looking more closely. All the interviews, except one, were southeastern programs, and only three were competitive. I found out later that she had applied to upwards of 50 programs- all in the SE, or out West where her fiance lives. Another friend of mine, "S", also with really good scores, very hard working, and so very nice is also applying to medicine and so far has received two interview invites, both from very competitive programs. So S and I discussed what might be going on besides the obvious difference of applying to 50 programs instead of 20 or 30. We figured out a few things. 1)UAB is so highly respected in the SE that almost all the programs will automatically give UAB grads an automatic interview. This has been born out by my other friends applying in different specialties as well- if you're mostly applying in the SE you've already got a buttload of interviews. If, like me, you're mostly applying outside the SE then you have much fewer. 2)Most of A's interviews are from non-competitive programs. All three of us received an auomatic interview at UAB, a competitive program. I've received interview offers at two non-SE programs one competitive, and one non. S has received another SE interview at a very competitive program. So really it's okay that I have fewer interviews. And its good that she's applying to so many and yet we overlap at so few programs because that means I'm not in direct competition with her. But it also begs the question- if she were really so confident would she have to apply to so many programs? Ah well, not my problem. I'm focusing on my own match, which involves checking the status of my application multiple times daily! Step 2 CS: This is that obnoxious clincal skills test I'm required to take before starting residency. Did I mention it costs $1200, and only takes place in 5 cities in the whole country (Philly, Chicago, Atlanta, Houston, and LA), so tack on another $150 for hotel, gas, and food costs at least.  So I finally got around to scheduling it. Initally I had an afternoon slot, in Atlanta, on Janurary 31st. Then afternoon, Atlanta, Jan 19. Then, morning, Atlanta, Jan 23. Right now its morning, Atlanta, January 5th. Why all the changes? Well there is a service that notifies you by email if a slot becomes available.My preference is to do it during the Christmas period, in Atlanta, starting in the morning. That way if I choose I can add a two week elective in at the end of January if I have no interviews scheduled. So I've basically been stalking that website too, although the email notifications allow me to just stalk my inbox and hope to goodness I'm faster at clicking than other people! Usually the spots are gone within ten minutes. Looks like I'm not the only crazy one out there!Okay, enough obsessing. Really. Enough. Quit it already!!! GoCartCherub |
| *whine* I'm tired! And I want a vacation. A real vacation where I can shut off my brain for a week or two and do something fun! But noooooo the last vacation I had was at Christmas and I spent the week watching boring movies by myself. *end whine* Really, it's not so bad, it's just that I don't want to study for my big nasty exam next week. It's very annoying that all the questions come with qualifiers like "What is the NEXT BEST step..." or "What is the MOST likely..." As if the people writing the question didn't know that a good doctor can do more that one thing at a time. Why yes, it IS possible to start IV fluids and push insulin at the same time! And wow, you can get an EKG while drawing blood to get serial enzymes. The miracle of modern medicine!  This is the problem when people who don't actually practice clinical medicine try and write a clinical knowledge exam.By the way, did any of you hear the NPR story this AM about how doctors are losing their physical exam skills? Now, in general I agree, especially with our ability to hear heart murmurs. But the worst perpetrators of the "tests before a physical" are emergency rooms. There are all these protocols to try and streamline things, but it puts very little stock into the physician's ability to examine and evaluate. I was, however, very annoyed with their discussion of medical school training. Somehow Stanford was held up as this gaurdian of the physical exam because they require their med students to take a physical exam course. Yeah, guess what? Every medical school in the country does that! In order to start a US residency you have to take a national standardized exam in clinical skills. So every medical school makes sure to teach those skills to their students, and most of them utilize standardized patients to test students, just like in the national exam. In fact I just took a clinical skills exam three weeks ago that is required for me to graduate. It was 5 hours, 10 "patients", and started at 5pm after working 8 1/2 hours straight, and is designed to mimic the national exam. Of course I won't know if I passed until the end of October/ early November, but its unlikely I failed. Suck on that Stanford! Okay...back to studying. Mmmmm skin lesions. Anyone want some bullous impetigo for breakfast? GoCartCherub ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| My applications for residency have been completed. Now it is time to sit back a have a panic attack for seven months! Actually so far it hasn't been too bad. I applied to 30 programs and so far have received 3 interview offers, in just under two weeks! Two more programs e-mailed me to notify me that they were considering me, but don't offer interviews until November 2nd (that's when Dean's Letters are released). I really need to get at least 10 interviews to have a good rank list and chance of matching, but I'd be willing to do up to 15. I have almost 2 1/2 months off from Nov-Jan so I can do interviews, though I am trying to cluster them so I don't have to travel as much. Money is gonna be super tight! Any donations to the GGC Medical School fund would be appreciated. This entire process is entirely nerve-wracking. I'm applying for Internal Medicine- last yeat there were 4,999 spots nationwide, 3,194 US applicants, and 9,552 total applicants for those spots. So a little less than two applicants per position. Not the worst odds, but certainly not the best. For now I'm focusing on getting interviews, and taking my Step II. But I'm making my way through fourth year!Residency application- check! 4th year courses- in progress and on track! Interviews- 3 and counting! Step II- done by Sept 29th! Clinical skills exam- ...er, yeah still need to schedule that Rank Order List- February 23rd Match Day- March 17th Graduation- May 15th Move in June, start residency July 1st, and watch my first paycheck go towards bills. Time is flying by right now but I have a feeling that those 22 days between February 23rd and March 17th will be the longest in my life! But at least I can go back on Facebook after the rank list is in! Maybe that will provide some distraction! GoCartCherub ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| It's been a busy month. I've been doing my Internal Medicine Acting Internship and loving every minute...except for the hour commute each way! Four in the morning is too early to wake up! But I still find medicine patients fascinating- COPD exacerbation, chest pain rule out MI, stroke alerts, cancer, alcohol withdrawl, GI bleeds, and syncope. Others may find it monotonous, but I'm terribly interested at all times. Apparently I chose the right field! I'm still working on my manuscript from my research. I submitted my abstract to a poster conference and was accepted! So I'll be presenting on September 1st. I just received my manuscript edits from an external reviewer and was complimented for my writing and research quality. She provided a few extra sources to look at, and was very very nice. It made me glow.  I'm finally sleeping again. Thank you, Zoloft. Applications and letters of rec are flying every which way. I got to see my official Dean's letter which was full of nice things. They put together a summary page of all your clinical evaluations and I'd forgotten how positive my reviews had been. I always worry about how I can improve and so I tend to remember those things only. But when you have a page full of nice things in front of you it makes you feel like you might have done something right! I might make a halfway decent doctor someday. Test taking has always been my bane. And it finally got to the point that my knowledge as evaluated by my peers and attendings was really not matching my testing scores. So I was sent for academic testing to screen for ADHD. Apparently as they learn more about ADHD they're recognizing more and more adults in difficult fields that have compensated with their intelligence but are performing below their full potential due to concentration issues. So they did an IQ test, as well as an personality inventory. I tested in the 99.9th% for "intelligence", but in concentration I was only in the 50th%. That large of a variation means that the psychologist is recommending I take Adderall for test taking and concentrated study sessions, but not on a regular basis as I'm doing well in non-timed situations. So I received a simulatenous pat on the shoulder and kick in the pants. And that, in a nutshell, is what is going on in my life. Tell me, my faithful few, how are you holding up? GoCartCherub ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Two entries in twentyfour hours?! I know what you're thinking, "The world must be coming to an end!" Nope this is just my insomnia. Despite getting somewhere in the neighborhood of 3-4 hours of sleep the last 3 days running I am, once again, unable to sleep. I am exhausted, yawning, and my eyes are ready to close. But the moment they DO close my brain clicks on. And then each though perpetuates a new thought until suddenly it's been two and a half hours and I'm more wide awake than ever. And by the way during this time I have managed to make my neck hurt something fierce, tried 6 different pillow combinations, laid in the bed as well as the fouton. So now I've given up all pretense of sleep and I have a hot bean bag on my neck and my laptop out. Maybe I'll try going back to bed in a little bit...but I'm not hopeful. You know what must be even worse than being an insomniac? Living in the apartment below an insomniac! GoCartCherub ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I have a friend who likes to say he's "Livin' the dream!" because he's in med school, he has good food, he doesn't live in a hole, he's not in Iraq (he's a former Army and Marine pilot), and his mama is alive. All good reasons to love life, right? So its stands to reason that if I'm not loving life despite all those thnkgs going for me I must be a neurotic mess...which I am. In the next six months things are just a bit overwhelming. In addition to regular clinic duties- 80 hours/week, overnight call every fourth night- I'll be applying to residency, finishing my research, and taking two big ass exams (9-12 hours each). Even at the end of these six months I still will have no idea where I stand, and I'll be in limbo for another 3+ months. Once I start listing out the details (letters of rec, personal statement, interviews, travel, study, etc. etc. etc) I really start freaking out. No wonder I'm a mess and I've stopped sleeping. So I've been given a friendly little helper to help decrease the anxiety, with the hopes that will help the sleep. *crosses fingers* But I AM LIVING THE DREAM! I'm finishing up my research paper and it looks like it will be elligible for a couple of poster conferences and publications. You could see yours truly in a national medical journal! How cool would that be? Review takes a while, so probably not until the spring, but I'm hopeful! By this time next year I will be a DOCTOR! Talk about the realization of a dream! I'm hanging on for now, doing my last push for med school. Maybe I can sleep in the spring! GoCartCherub ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| It's been a while...again. Let me recap some of the things that have happened this month: I finished my third year clerkships and started a 3 month stretch of research. My research is very writing oriented- I'm interviewing women around the state from all walks of life and writing their stories into little vignettes. I spent three weeks driving around the state doing interviews. 1000 miles in a week! Thank goodness for WDC's influence in my life or I would never have come up with that as an idea for a project! I moved! I've enjoyed my training this last year but if I'd wanted to live in a college town I would have done so while I was in college! I moved from a 1 bedroom townhouse to a small one bedroom apartment. But what I lost in square footage I made up in improved functionality. Plus the smaller space means my power bills should be lower. Much better for my pocket book and the environment. There are some problems with my new place. Such as they somehow transmuted my move in date from May 27 to June 1 so when I showed up on the 27th the were all shocked to see me. It meant some extra time on the paperwork, but we got it settled and I moved in just fine. However the pull to switch my tub into a shower doesn't work. And no one came to try and fix it until today, only to discover that the whole mechanism should have been replaced and wasn't and now will reguire them to rip out part of my tub. Meanwhile I'm "showering" by turning on the tub and using a big cup to pour the water. Needless to say I don't feel so clean...which lead me to jump start my plans of joining a gym here. I need the workout and I'll have access to a shower! Speaking of the gym...I got fatter. A month of bad eating and sitting on my ass in the car means that my waistline exploded. Hmmmm. Not so great. What is it with me and sugar? Seriously I will go to town on a bag of peanut m&ms. And there ain't nothing better than cupcakes or brownies. And of course with so much sugar in your diet you need some salt to balance it out. And thus starts the cycle. Sigh. What's funny is I really LIKE healthy foods. But I really LIKE unhealthy food too. And the unhealthy stuff is so much more readily available. Another thing I wonder is why it can take 2-3 months to shave off 20 pounds but you can gain it back in like 2-3 weeks. Seriously?! Not fair! So, again, the gym membership at a Gold's Gym where they take themselves WAY too seriously. And I'm back to eating the healthier stuff, and the weight is already coming off. Last, and best of all- I'm an aunt! This is my first nephew and he is ADORABLE. His name is James and he has auburn hair and likes to sleep on his Aunt Sarah. I'm so freaking in love, even when he makes gooey goopy diapers. GoCartCherub ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Ahhh, OB/GYN, where nothing is sacred. My very first day on this rotation the chariman of the department, a middle aged, rotund, balding man with a Southern accent you could cook chittlins in asked, "Why do people have shhhhex?" The correct answer is, "Because it feels good!" From there our discussions have gotten more explicit and irreverant. So far I am the "Unlucky White Cloud". This means that every time I'm on call the fates conspire to deprive me of any deliveries. Being a white cloud is great if you want more sleep, but its not so great if you want to catch some babies. So far I've been on call 2 weekdays and a Friday/Sunday call in 2 1/2 weeks and have assisted on ONE C-section and not even had a vaginal delivery occur when I'm on. Everyone else got their first C-section within one night and a delivery (or 4) within two nights of call. Bizzarre, huh? But I will say that my first C-section was interesting. We delivered the head and I was halfway convinced the baby was dead as it a) wasn't moving b) was making no effort to breathe and c) was a frightening shade of dusky blue. Fortunately we bulb suctioned the mouth then delivered the rest of the baby and she was already starting to pink up before the cord was even clamped. She even got a perfect 10 on her Apgar at 5 minutes. Now, if only I can start delivering some babies. I'm on call this Saturday and if I see a term lady I'm gonna sit on her belly until the baby comes shooting out of her! As for the clinic part...it's remarkable to me that patients are so willing to let me do pelvic exams on them, less than 10 minutes after I've met them for the first time. The trust people put into physicians is entirely humbling. I'm also getting pretty good at those speculum exams. It's a badge of honor to "find the cervix" on a first pass. So far I'm 9 for 10 and I'm pretty sure that by the end of the rotation I'll be able to do them left handed and backwards. But I have to say my favorite part of clinic is during OB clinics and finding that fetal heart tone. It sounds like a little train trucking along and the smiles from the moms light up the whole room. Beautiful, every single time.GoCartCherub ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
