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 |  Just a blog containing my daily activities, interests, rants, etc. Enjoy. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Neko wishes everyone a wonderful summer! I paint my face with blackend lines, carving my soul into darkness. I rip my flesh into tiny pieces, as I scream - so wreckless. I can't stop going on this path, the path I chose long ago. I can't keep from making them, those same mistakes, over again. But I can try to keep going, to live, to love, to laugh. To cry, to scream, to swear... as long as I go on, even if I'm "half". Half alive, half dead, trying to live, will I ever be whole, who knows? Started: 9th of May, 2007 Agenda: I will tell of past experiences, current experiences, and future experiences I wish to have. This will be a way for me to relieve some stress and to try and better my writing style. Credits: Thanks for checking my blog out, and if you read it, I hope it isn't too boring~!  P.S. I'm going to try *spiffing up* my blog later on this month or next month, depending on how much time I have. 
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I'll be away on vacation starting on the 8th and it will last about two weeks. I apologize to all of the groups I'm in that I haven't been participating; I will try my best to catch up whence I get back. I have a lot of reviews I have yet to return to the reviewee's, so if any of you reading this are one of them, please be patient! I will give you a review whenever I have the time. I've been really busy lately and have not had the time to do the things I need to on this site.  Anywho, that's all for now. I just wanted to give everyone a heads up. Now it's time to pack.Love you all! |
| Hiyo the merry-o! Good evening everyone. I know I haven't been on as much as usual, but that is because I'm getting ready for my soon to come vacation. We'll be leaving for Austria on July the 8th, which is way too soon. Anyhow, I haven't been writing much, but maybe while I'm on vacation I will be able to do so. I'd like to write up a second chapter to "Taken by the Devil" as well as perhaps a short story. Short stories are the weakest point of my writing, so I feel that I should work on that. I always try to stay away from them, because I just don't know what to do. I'm used to writing longer things like chapters or shorter things like poems. Oh, last but not least... I have some thank yous.  Thank you Jamie (my boyfriend) for supporting me so much lately and never giving up on us. I'm so glad you're my honey. I don't know what I'd do without you. XOXOXO (lol)Thank you SHERRI GIBSON  for having created the fabulous group "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP"  ! Also, for your generosity and help around this site; many members would be lost without you.Thank you tinytalegirl for your generosity and activeness around this awesome site, you are a true angel! Thank you phoenimaid for creating such a wonderful group, "Invalid Item" and for being such a great friend. Thank you Bleeding Dawn  for always being there for me and for being one of my best friends on this site! I love you so much! Lastly, thank you undocked22 for also being there for me and for becoming one of my new friends. You're totally awesome and I hope you stay! |
| I got a bunch of great reviews from teihzbael today, and they were all encouraging and fantastic, so I was on top of the world. (If you ever need a great review, ask Daryl!). But later, when I went to check my statistics for the day, yesterday, and the day before, I found out that someone had gone through most of my port rating things anywhere from a 2 to a 3.5. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm okay with a 3.5 and such, but I'd like to have a review with it as well to know what I could have worked on. I felt a little put off by this, but hey, I guess that happens, right? Anyhow, I'm having uber fun on WoW at the moment. They're having the Summer Festival right now, so there's plenty of free exp (experience points, which are needed to level) to go around! I've been trying to catch up on my reviews lately, but I'm not having too much success.  I've got about 20+ reviews lined up for me to do, but I haven't had much time to do them. Maybe I'll get to them this weekend.Monday and Tuesday I had Freshmen orientation for college. It was sooo stupid and sooo annoying. I could hardly stand it. The ambassadors did some stupid dance/skit, and I was sitting there thinking, I thought I was going to college to be in the adult world? To be treated like an adult? And now... they're just treating us like 2nd graders. I mean, come on! That's ridiculous. We also played a game called "Connection" where you said your name and an interest you had, then another person would say "Connection!" if they had a similar interest. After that, the process would repeat. At the beginning of our group meeting, we had to stand up, state our name, where we were from, and an interesting fact about ourselves. Now, I don't know about you, but I remember being required to do that in KINDERGARTEN. That is so stupid. Anyhow, gotta go. Hugs to everyone!-Neko |
| Urgh.... and just after I was calm again, too. I got a automated message from the support system saying a moderator had changed the intro rating for one of my items. The word that had been the issue was supposedly "smexy". I'd meant it as more of a "awesome" or "neat" or... "uber" kinda of meaning than "sexy", but I could see how it could be taken that way. Problem is, it set me off again, though into more of a sad, depressive, crying fit mood. >.< Jamie (my boyfriend) was wondering what was wrong. It was actually a combination of earlier, a general depressiveness, and this new thing. Yep, again... I shouldn't have gotten upset, I guess. However, I couldn't help it. Wish I hadn't made the mistake of doing that though, I feel like I failed as a "preferred author". And right after I got it, too.  Anyhow.. enough of my whining for today! So sorry to drone on about this. Hope everyone's doing great, and thanks for reading. *Hugs* -Neko |
| A few hours ago, I found out I have to take tests at my freshmen orientation tomorrow... you'd think this wouldn't be a big deal, but... it sent me into a rage. I was so angry, I could hardly think. After yelling at my sister and parents about how stupid the college orientation people were, I ended up throwing out a few curse words and storming into my room. There I sat, crying my eyes out. And because...? Because of some stupid tests. But I can't help it. Every time I think about it I just cry more. When I talked to my mom and dad about it they didn't even consider how I felt, nor were they worried about how upset I was. All they did was tell me, "Why are you making such a big deal about this?" "It's nothing to get upset over"... etc. Well, to me it's a big deal for some reason... I don't even know why. They probably think it's because I didn't sleep last night. Well, I DIDN'T sleep last night, but that doesn't mean it's the reason. My boyfriend is being way more supportive than any of my family. The scary thing is, I was so angry I even punched my desk. (Yeah.. I know this sounds crazy--Please don't think I'm a lunatic. ). I ended up breaking some of my nails. *Sigh*I had to start writing this in order to calm down. I couldn't otherwise; I just kept thinking about it and getting either more depressed or more emotionally distraught (or angry... you get the picture). Sometimes I wonder if I have some sort of condition. Stuff like this has happened before. I'll get emotional about stupid things, right at the drop of a hat. Maybe I need to go to anger management? However, I've never really gotten violent or anything... and it's only sometimes. I was in a great mood before I heard about the tests. Any ideas, guys and gals? Feeling mighty depressed right now.,,  -Neko |
| Thank you for all of the support in my last blog, I really needed it. Since I last posted, I talked to my boyfriend about the situation and he's no longer upset about it. He told me he was just feeling like I pay more attention to WDC than to him. I can understand that... sometimes I get really addicted to this site and spend hours upon hours on it. Being in some groups doesn't much help that, because it eats up a lot of my time. (Not to mention reviewing. I'm a slow reader/reviewer). Anyhow, I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm doing well. Oh! And I just got an unexpected promotion to preferred author. Imagine my surprise when I click the refresh, and I have a shiny new yellow case. I was ecstatic!Thank you everyone for your support, and a special thanks to my boyfriend for being a sweetie.  -Neko |
| Well, as the title says. I'm really upset at the moment. My boyfriend told me I need to stop coming on here... and obviously, I don't want to. He tells me I pay more attention to writing.com than to him. I'm also upset because I feel like my writing just isn't getting me anywhere... I've always dreamed about becoming a writer, but I don't think that's going to happen, especially since not even my boyfriend supports me. I know I can't write poetry as well as most people, nor is it even the "regular" poetry you see. My poetry is skin deep, there's nothing to it. My writing? As in stories? Well, if you took a look at my stuff you could tell it's not worth a penny. My vocabulary is short, and my characters have no depth to them. Everything is "card board" like; it's flimsy and can be blown over with a single breath of air. What can I do to make my writing better? I've tried lots of things. I've vigorously read others' work, searched up words in dictionary.com, and tried several writing classes. Will I ever be better than I am now? Perhaps not... I'm nearing that point... the point where I will give up. I don't want to really, in fact, I want to hold on, and at least finish my book. But, is it worth it? I just don't know if it is anymore. Is LIFE worth it? I can not even begin to tell you how depressed I am at this moment. I sat in bed last night, crying my soul out, wishing for someone to just end it. It's not just the writing... it's everything. I have no real friends; they slowly slipped away as I moved into highschool, and now that I'm going to college, I have zero. On writing.com, I have found at least a few people I enjoy talking to, and sharing with. However, it seems I may end up having to give this up. No... I have not led a terrible life, and there are plenty in this world who have suffered worse than me. The three most tragic events for me in my life were my parents divorce (which, they later got remarried to eachother), my father's house being vandalized and burnt down, and having had an online relationship with a pedophile at the age of 14. As you can see... it's not been that bad. But still, I have depressive episodes, which I can't seem to shake. I get angry, frustrated, I don't enjoy doing some of things I used to. I feel like I don't have time for anything. At times, I even hate myself. In my sophomore year I tried to commit suicide with a bottle of benidryl. Since I'm obviously still here, it didn't work. Things just pop into my head sometimes, and I have no idea why. I can be hyper at times, happy, and then in the next few minutes I'm down for the count. I know no one will probably even look at this blog, but hey... I felt like getting it off my chest. Maybe someday God will answer my prayers. -Neko |
| Hey hey, guys! What's up? Wellll... let's see. I started playing World of Warcraft (WoW), again, after being on a break for many months. At first, I tried playing an Undead Warrior... but that didn't turn out too well. Don't get me wrong, I liked the class; however, I got a bit too bored of it. Jamie then decided he wanted to play Alliance, so he asked my sister about switching. At first she wasn't sure about it, but after a while she wanted to play her Draeni (spell?) Hunter on the server Bonechewer. So we all switched, but that lasted about maybe 15 minutes. We ended up going back to Illidan and our Horde characters. However, Something good DID come from playing on alliance for a few minutes. I found out that I liked playing Shamans, so when we got back on our main server I quickly made a female Tauren Shaman. Whew! Go me. My first cow character ever. Who would have thought? I used to abhor the thought of getting anywhere NEAR a tauren character, but now? Now I actually like 'em. It gave me a new feel for WoW, so I'm really enjoying myself.Now, aside from WoW, Jamie's birthday was yesterday, June 1. I hope he had a wonderful one. I also helped him get his epic flying mount, since I wasn't able to get him a real present (curses, I say!). We're doing pretty well.In the writing department, I've attempted several different forms of poetry lately... all of them are syllabic. At the moment, since I upgraded my account to premium, I'm working on a webpage for myself. So far it's coming out nicely, considering I know nothing about HTML. Lol. I also added some new poems to my port and I'm working on a chapter for my new (in process, obviously) novel. Yes, yes I know. I still haven't even gotten ONE thing published. However, one day it WILL happen. I just know it. ^-^ It's my big dream. That's one of the reasons why I want to become a publicist... so I can become a little closer to that dream.Anywho... thanks so much for reading. I know I tend to ramble, but hey... a girl's got to rant and rave somewhere, right? Love always, -Neko |
| Heya everyone! It's been quite a while since I posted. I decided I'd update a bit. I got accepted into LSU, and I'll be graduating this monday. Yay! Seems like I'll be going to college soon. I hope I'll do alright. I added the letter my teacher, Mr. Patla, wrote to me to my port. Please have a look at it. It's really well written, and it shows what a great teacher he is. I'll try and post a link to it later, but I'm too lazy right now. That's it for now. *Hugs* -Neko |
| Hey everybody! Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I got out of wanting to do blogs for a while since I've been so busy. Ahem, also, I'd like to inform you all that I quit FFXI and returned to WoW (a long time ago, lol). Update on WoW: FINALLY got 70 on my Priest just yesterday. I and Jamie are now working on getting his Warrior to 70 as well. He should be 70 by today, tomorrow, or Wednesday. (Hopefully). Currently he is level 69. Update on Jamie: We've hit a few rough spots in our relationship; however, we always talk to each other about it afterward. I think we'll be fine. I really, REALLY love him. He makes my days so much brighter, unlike anyone else can. He's always so supportive of me. Whenever I am feeling down, he always tries to cheer me up. I couldn't ask for anyone better. To my boo: I looooveee you. I'm also sorry about how moody I've been! Please forgive me, and if I continue to be moody, just keep trying to cheer me up, because I most certainly need it. You are my sweetheart!About my writing: As many of you have noticed, I haven't been posting up any new works (except for the occasional poem or two). This is because I haven't had the time to write too much. Also, my other chapters of my novel are on my old computer (which is no longer hooked up...) Hopefully I will be able to transfer them over someday. |
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