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This is my blog. I just went through a divorce; it was the worst thing that has yet to happen to me. This is me dealing with it and life. It's my blog; I write about what I want. I hope you enjoy. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The above was me about three years ago. It is the most up to date digital photo I have.
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| Breaking up sucks. It's so hard to do because some times, there isn't any closure. So, I think Break Up sex should be mandatory. I mean, it's tough enough to deal with the emotions, and you're left empty and hollow. You watch the person walk away dragging your heart with them, or you walk away from someone listening to them, cry, cuss or just stunned silence. So, I say walk away feeling momentarily satisfied. How much easier would it be to take the "It's not you. It's me." speech if the person were taking off their clothes? For men, we would just be staring at the woman's chest saying, "Uh huh, sure. Whatever you want, hon." If you're really lucky, the person that you're breaking up with falls asleep after sex. So, you can leave as they pass out. Okay, well, as always, there has to be exceptions to the rules. For example, when violence and/or cheating are the cause of the break up, then sex is not mandatory. But if the poor guy is being dumped because, well, he's a nerd. At least, give him one final thrill. Okay, now for the disclaimers. Yes, this entry was sarcastic. No, it doesn't have anything to do with my life. Yes, I thought it would be funny. Maybe it's crude, but hey, the world needs more protected sex. Bill Clinton didn't start any wars because he was too busy chasing interns with cohibas. Maybe if G.W.B. had put the spring in Laura's step, we'd all be under Sharia law by now! And who doesn't want that? Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Soda came out of my nose when reading this http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/ I, highly, recommend this blog. Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| I love giving advice. It's a great feeling to know that someone wants my input on their life. It's also a thing of great responsibility. Like when someone tells me they only lost ten pounds last year, I could say good job and make their day. Or I could tell them they should cry because ten pounds in 52 weeks? Come on. However, I don't tell them to cry because that is mean, and we all know I'm a nice guy, right? Without tooting my own horn, 'cause I did that last night, I have to say that I give really good advice. Here's how to make sure that the people around you keep coming back for guidance: First, whether you hate this person or love them, you have to set aside all feelings you have to help this person. I mean, you might want to slap them with a fish, but you can't. Giving advice is a sacred trust that should be taken seriously. You could love this person, say...a beautiful, red head with a Marilyn Monroe body and a prediliction for mystery novels, but you have to set aside that love. Because... Your advice has to help this person. If you think that the world would be better if this person smacked themselves in the head with a nail gun, you can't tell them this. If you think that this red head whose smile is as bright as a diamond bracelet and has that certain wiggle when she walks would have a great life if she jumped in your bed, you can't. You have to think of this other person first; you have to tell them what is best for them. Finally, we get to the secret that makes my advice so good. No one will ever tell you this secret. It's the one that makes everything work. You cannot, absolutely, cannot take your own advice. If you take your own advice, then you don't have any of that wisdom to give to others. If you follow your own advice, you will be too busy with a happy life to have time to be available for your friends. Look at Mr. Spitzer, he was campaigning against corruption and prostitution. The message struck home, and it was great advice for the people of New York. He knew this final secret of great advice. He had to go to a prostitute so his advice would be wise and intelligent. So, when you tell someone to take a breath and count to ten before fighting with their husband/wife/life partner, you can't remember this. Just start that fight right away, knowing that you're doing your best for your friends, and you're able to give great advice. So, to review, set aside all feelings, think of the person asking for advice best interests and never, ever follow your own advice. These are the steps to be happy and helpful as a master of advice. And sorry bugzy is baaaccck!!   , there's no red head. She is all in my imagination.Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Yesterday, I posted a poem looking for help in meter. I received some replys as to form in poetry. It is a discussion that seems to pop up a lot in poetry. So, what should you choose...a free verse poem or a structured poem? Both, you should always choose both. The poem itself will guide the writer towards what should be used. Free verse is very popular now, and this is to be expected. Society today is focused on the individual, and free verse is wholly individualistic. Whitman's Leaves of Grass is the earliest departure from structured poetry that I can think of. It's beautiful and wonderful, but Whitman was deeply versed in structured poems. The writers who championed and pushed free verse knew structured poems. They knew the iambic pentameter. They knew Italian sonnets, and they knew form. Because of this education, their free verse was just so much better. They knew the rules, and therefore, they knew how to break them. They could add rhythm and meter to their poems to give the musical, sing song quality. They knew how to add rhyme to create impact. For example, one use, that I like and wish I could do, is to get the reader to follow iambic pentameter (five pairs of unstressed then stressed words or syllables) for two or three lines, then create one iam. For example, I went to my small home yesterday night to find a bug with painted shell on top of my refriderator with glass wings. He died. The change in rhythm can really emphasize words or emotions. The point is that you expect the next line to follow the same rhythm because the writer has trained you into an iambic pentameter, and the abrupt change brings attention to it. Another reason that I like form is because it's a word puzzle. It really forces the writer to look at new ways to say what he/she is trying to say. If it has to be put into a form, the writer has to shape his images into that form. Some people don't like this because they feel it steals the essence of the poem. It can, but form can also help convey an idea. I had a poem on here that was a Pantoum, which is a repititious form of poetry. I used that repitition in a poem about exercise. Exercise by definition is repetition, so it fit the form better than free verse. As always, I think that poems are so personal that each writer should craft them to their own liking. However, I think that all poets should experiment with form, meter and rhyme to add depth and layers to their work. I'm really trying to work with form because it makes my free verse better. I love the poem that I posted yesterday because of the meter, and it is beautiful because I worked the words to fit the meter. Of course, this is my opinion, and like I said, poetry is personal. I recommend experimentation, but ultimately, the writer has to write for themselves. When we write, we should write to please us. Trying to please the reader...well, that's a blog for a different time. So, form or free verse, the important thing is to write.  Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| To all poets and would-be Shakespeare's, I am asking for help. I have been working on meter and rhythm in my poetry. It's so hard to do, and I think I might be tone deaf. So, if anyone could help, I'd appreciate it. Below is a poem I'm working on, and below that is the version with the marks for stressed (/) and unstressed (˘) words or syllables. Did I do this correctly? Thanks! Poem You lost your smile in my bedroom last night after I spoke of hearts in traction, in vice- like jaws. Your smile leapt from your face into my hands and curled into a ball like your cat, Pearl. It purred, it nuzzled and begged to be left with me in my small home, set up with food and water. Because it knew you would visit us now and then. You would bring with you arms to hold us tight, lips to smash, press into my own. With them would come hands soft and smaller than mine; they fit into my palm and could stay there forever for all I care. Deconstruction ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / You lost your smile in my bedroom last night ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / after I spoke of hearts in traction, in vice- ˘ / ˘ / / ˘ ˘ / ˘ / like jaws. Your smile leapt from your face into ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / my hands and curled into a ball like your ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / cat, Pearl. It purred, it nuzzled and begged to be / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / left with me in my small home, set up ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / with food and water. Because it knew you would ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / visit us now and then. You would bring with ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / / ˘ / / you arms to hold us tight, lips to smash, press ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / into my own. With them would come hands soft ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / and smaller than mine; they fit into my palm ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / ˘ / and could stay there forever for all I care. Well, the stress markers didn't show up over the corresponding words or syllables. Hopefully, it can be figured out. If not, well, I'm up that certain creek, and I lost my oars. Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| I love my life. I love my life. I love my life. Why? There's no special reason. I just don't say this enough. I love who I am. I make mistakes; I fart and sometimes have bad breath. I have done things I'm not proud of, and I have lied. I forgot friends and hurt people, and I have three regrets in this life of mine. (I've already covered them in my blog, so don't ask.) However, I wouldn't change my life for anything at all. Divorce, eye problems, weight issues, I wouldn't change any of these things. I get caught up in negativity, depression and fear, a lot. I worry so much about things that are important, but they're not vital. I turn 30 sometime this year (don't ask when), and if I have to go through bankruptcy, I will have plenty of time to make it up. If I lose my job, I have lots of time to find a new one or find what I'm supposed to do with my life. I have time. Now, I'm not in danger of bankruptcy or losing my job. It's just that's how I should be looking at life, and that's how I am looking at life. When I look at it that way, how can I not love my life? I hope everyone out there can look themselves in the mirror today and tell themselves that they love their life. It's the only one we got, so it's best to love it. We spend so much time looking at what's wrong, at what could go wrong and at what has gone wrong. It's to look at what's good, at what could be great and what has been wonderful. My wish for you is that you find these things. Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Television is not exactly the land of the positive. The news is the most depressing thing we have in our lives, and today's T.V. shows are sex, sex, sex with a little violence thrown in for the kids. It's hard to find anything that is positive and uplifting, and the worst shows are these reality T.V. Survivor just shows how conniving and back-stabbing we humans can be. However, one show really shows how powerful television can be. NBC's The Biggest Loser is the best show on television. I have a hard time not feeling motivated and proud to be a human after that show. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes our health is the last thing we think of in this hectic life. The people on this show have let their weight get out of control for personal reasons, and these reasons are as different and legion as the people on the show. However, they all come there for the same reason to change their life. Sure, there's a prize and incentives, but most of the people start to see that the way they were headed in their lives was to an early grave. So far in this season, two people have asked their team to vote them off for the good of the team. It is amazing because these people are on the show to get their lives back, not the money. The money is a huge bonus. Last night, one contestant protected his friend at the cost of his own spot on the show. There is a lot of gameplay and competition on the show. However, it is all good competition in that they spur each other on. They all clap for weight loss regardless of team, and they joke with each other. I can't believe on a show where the winner walks home with a quarter of a million dollars, people are protecting others. They are acting selflessly because the money is nothing compared to the life they have gotten back. It is inspiring and uplifting. It is great to see individuals reach their goals and change their lives for the better. The people on this show are amazing in how they learn that they are capable of so much more than they thought possible. The things they are doing during their workouts are outrageous. They have pushed their bodies in ways they never would have believed, and the contestants are so emotional. They are learning that each time they say I can't, it's not the truth. They are learning that I can't is fear speaking. It's not their bodies saying no. That is a great lesson. I can't is fear. We are capable of so much as people, and our mind limits us. I learned this from the martial arts. The body is an amazing machine, and it has the potential to do great things. However, we don't always recognize that potential. I've worked harder on losing weight because of this show, and I have started pushing myself a little farther and harder. I want to change my life right now, and fear is the enemy of change. I watch this show to be reminded that people are wonderful and to be inspired. It is an emotional ride, but it's amazing to see how different the contestants are. They're happier, healthier and more confident. They've also learned that they can do anything if they only believe in themselves. Here's hoping y'all believe in yourself. I'm learning to believe in me. Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| In 2008, Americans will once again flock to the polls to elect a new president. We have two prominent parties in this country, but they are not the only two parties. For this election this year, we have four candidates looking for the highest honor in America. I dislike all four of them. In my opinion, we have three democrats and a nut to choose from. So, I’m voting independent this year, and so far, the response to this has been, “Why are you wasting your vote?” What this says to me is that both Republicans and Democrats have pulled the wool over our eyes. I have a vote, and I can use it any way that I want. I am still participating in the democratic process, and my voice is being heard and recorded. It may not help elect a president, but it makes public my distaste for the two major parties. I think it’s a shame that people feel they have to vote Republican or have to vote Democrat to be a part of the winning team. I have not been able to actually vote for a president in my voting career. The only president in my lifetime that I would have voted for, if I could, would have been Reagan. Other than that, I vote against someone. I’m tired of voting against a person; I want to vote for a person. So, I’m not voting against Obama or against McCain. I’m voting against two parties that are putting politics ahead of America. Sure, I won’t help elect a president, but I’m not abstaining from the political process. I think if more Americans would vote third party, we would see real change in this country. I’m not wasting my vote; I’m protesting in a small, tiny way. It’s not up to me to force someone to listen; it’s my responsibility to vote my beliefs. Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Well, this was a great weekend. It was a fun weekend and very educational. Friday night, I hung out with my ex-wife. I'm over her. I found this out Friday night. She's an okay gal, but the way her life is headed is down a path that I'm glad I'm not a part of. There were some old feelings and a little hurt. However, after we parted ways, I just realized that I didn't want to be with her anymore. I don't love her, which is sad. But that is what she wanted, and after seeing her the way she is now, I can't follow her to where she's going. I wish her all the best, but Friday night was not a rekindling of any emotions. She kept talking about a bond, but I didn't feel any bond between us. I just felt a fondness for someone that I once loved. Friday night felt like a closing of a chapter. The emotions and feelings I felt for my ex-wife are gone. I wish her the best in life, and I hope she finds it. Any what ifs or if I had done this type questions were all answered Friday night. We've grown in two directions, and nothing can change that. I was reminded of the Garth Brooks song, Unanswered Prayers, and all I have to say is Thank God for unanswered prayers. Saturday during the day, I bought a washer, dryer and new stove. It was great. I'm working on my house and making it better. It was nice to have the closure of Friday night, and then Saturday I was able to make my house mine. It just helped reinforce that I'm in a new, different place where the old married emotions are gone. So, yay!!! New washer, dryer and stove! Saturday night, I had some work friends over. It was a great experience. I cooked dinner for them. We talked, drank beer and watched the UFC. (It was this weekend, not last.) It was a great time. I had a lot of fun, and I'm glad that my friends came and hung out. It was awesome. Sunday, it was beautiful. The temperature was well into the 60's if not 70's here in St. Louis. (It's supposed to snow today.) I walked down to get my hair cut, and I had some Chinese food. On the walk back home, I was sick, so, so sick. I spent the afternoon on the couch, moaning and whining to the cats. They were good snugglers, but they couldn't get me any Chicken Noodle soup. Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Well, today's blog is going to be scatter-brained, so you'll just have to bear with me. I have two topics that I want to comment on, but they're not big enough for they're own blog. So, here we go! First: My professor handed out four poems by a guy named Tim Seibles. I highly suggest that everyone go find his poem The Groom. I have only two poems that I love, that struck me as perfect and beautiful and what life is all about. They are Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas and the The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams. And in one reading, these poems were skipped over for The Groom. It is like the guy was inside my head writing about some of my feelings when falling in love. I'm trying to make poetry a part of my daily life. I think everyone should go out and read this poem. Second: I was giving a piece of advice to a friend, and I recommended to her that she set a boundary with a co-worker. But I said to be polite. Now, this friend is polite, but she's also passionate and committed to certain things or causes. The co-worker was offensive to a cause. Anyhow, I stressed politenes because I had this revelation moment that we can only control our own reactions. (Yes, I've had this revelation before; it was just a reminder revelation.) It's important to be polite, and it's important to be more polite to my enemies or to those I don't like. I want to handle things this way because all I believe that I have in this world is my word, and I want people to know that no matter what, I am a gentleman. However, this is very, very tough. It's friday, and I hope you all have a great weekend. Go out and find that poem!!! Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
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