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my blog, for me to get out my views, ideas and emotions. |
Size: 152 Entries
Created: July 17th, 2007 at 4:39am
Modified: July 6th, 2014 at 12:20am
Access:
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This is my blog; a place for me to put down my views, emotions, ideas, rants, and pretty much anything else I can think of put down while I'm typing. Enter at your own risk, I may be rather emotional, pessimistic and angry one day and downright giddy the next...You never know with me!
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Negativity, it hurts everyone around you. I know, I’m one you’re hurting with the negative attitude. Nothing is right, no one acts correctly. The animals are always misbehaving in some way. No one makes you happy, least of all me. I’m your wife and all I get from you is complaining. At least, it seems like all I get is complaints. I can’t help who I am. I am only being myself and if that isn’t good enough for you; isn’t right for you, then leave. Pack your things and catch a ride out of town. If you think you are more important than me or my family then you need to leave. If you think your animals should come before me and mine, then go. I can’t stand this anymore. I need you to either decide to be happier and to help me, or to decide that you won’t change and leave me. I WILL NOT take the mental abuse anymore. I CAN NOT deal with your attitude anymore. I work full time and you stay at home, so I need you to help at home instead of expecting me to do it all. I barely have time to indulge in my hobbies or greet my family, let alone cook, clean, and care for everyone in this house.
I need your help here, I need your help with the house and the animals. Not just feeding them and letting them out every once in a while, but not undermining me when I tell them to do something. Helping me keep them trained and not yelling at them. I need YOU to be a man that cares for his family.
I am so tired of hearing how horrible my family is. How you think my family is a bunch of ‘backbiting backstabbing bitches.’ I’m tired of you telling me how to live when you aren’t really living at all. Maybe you need to go back to your family again. Stay with them for a while, separate from me and my family for a bit. Maybe forever. I need my own space, and I know you do too. I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t think this is working anymore. I think we should be apart, separated, maybe divorced.
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| Well, I went to the doctor Monday and she told me that she had never seen, or expected to see, a 23 year old exibiting so many symptoms of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. In fact, she hadn't ever expected to see someone twice my age with as many symptoms as I have. So, I'm on new meds that should, hopefully, slowly set my body to rights. Please pray to whomever you believe in that these meds do the trick! |
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I FINISHED MY NOVEL (Beth does happy dance around site). I FINISHED MY NOVEL!!!!!
Ok, Now that I've gloated, ya'll have a nice day and please visit my newly finished novel MY HOUSE!! |
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| I made it to work today, I really did. I even got there a full minute early, then got sent home 20 minutes later. Apparantly I was too tired to work. Which wouldn't make sense unless you coupled it with my blood sugar not staying stable for me the past few days. I felt like I was going to pass out and my manager is wonderfully sweet, so she sent me home. I'm feeling a little better now, so I will try to make it up to her tomorrow! |
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| Sometimes I think death is the only way to get time away. When I tell my husbadn that I need some space, he moves three feet over to the couch and watches every key stroke as I write, or play games, or move at all. I can't ever have a private phone conversation and he even shows up unannounced at my work just to 'see how things are going.' I feel like he is stalking me and sucking up all my oxygen. I even tried to get a seperation, but he won't go. I've been asking for a seperation or divorce, but he just pulls closer. He keeps a lock on everything I do or think, I can't even watch what I want on tv anymore. |
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Memory is a funny thing. Take mine for example: I can't remember everything I'm supposed to do to close down the store at night, but I can remember to a 'T' what he looks like, the little smile, the dark hair flopping over his forehead, the white t-shirt, blue jeans, rageddy tennis shoes and white socks. The way he smells (a mixture of his shampoo, hair gel, and old spice deoderant) manly and sweet and all him. HE is not my husband, though there are times I wish he were; no, he is my best friend. He always knows how to make me smile, how to make me happy no matter what; all he has to do is be there.
Remember the end of The Labyrinth, when Sara sees her friends in the mirror and tells them that she needs them? Thats how I feel about this man; Sometimes, for absolutely no reason at all; I need you! |
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So, I was at work yesterday and my manager called me aside. She says "the night manager just called and quit, would you like the job?"
Now, normally I would have said no. I mean, 5-close in my last job was long, hard, and boring all at the same time. But I worked the shift a couple of times in the last month and its not that bad. Along with that, I'll be the manager and will be doing more supervising and paperwork than actual labor. I will still work the front, the kitchen, cleaning...whatever they need help with, but I'll be in charge of making sure these things get done instead of getting the list dictated to me. SO I accepted.
My husband is coming around to the idea....maybe. |
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| Well, I've been doing such a 'good job' promoting our new food items, upselling, and doing pretty much the job of a shift manager, taking on the extra responsibility of making sure that everyone is doing what they need to when the manager and asst. manager are busy, that I'm being given the designation of "Shift Leader". WooHOo |
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| I went to the Texas Rangers Game in Arlington last night and, even if we lost, we still rocked! I had forgotten how much I loved watching a live game, especially my home team! GO RANGERS! I can't wait to go again...maybe I can get some tickets for later in the season?! |
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| I finally get a day off, two really, Monday and Tuesday so I get to go to Dallas and watch a Rangers Game!!!!! I'm so happy about this, I used to go at least once a year when I was growing up, but haven't been in almost 10 years. Now my grandparents, Dad, husband and I are going to go! YAY!! |
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Three more weeks of student teaching? Exciting, exciting! When will you know if they can offer you a job? It can be such a bitch getting a teaching job, it's amazing! They cry about needing teachers, but then it's hard to find a job once you've got your credential! 
I've got a couple of friends who had to sub for a year or two before being given a full-time position. But I have a couple other friends (brother and sister actually) who got jobs right after they finished their student teaching. Of course one of them was replacing his previous high school band teacher and the teacher had said he wouldn't retire until this guy was ready to replace him so he was guaranteed the job before he even finished high school!