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 |  Well let's just try this AGAIN! |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I thought this was tough to start the first time....Don't worry I'll get it right SOME day.  Always there are nay-sayers. Just stick to your ideals. Hold fast to those dreams. Don't let go. |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Ah - Ireland! What is conjured up when you think about this country dubbed "Emerald Isle"? Do you envision the green of shamrocks? Flocks of white sheep dotting a hillside? Hopefully you don't hold to those age old bigotries that portray Irish folks as drunks, hot tempered, undependable and above all red-headed. Discrimination against the Irish, particularly Irish Catholics, was quite severe in the 19th century. As one of the earliest large immigrant communities the Irish repeatedly faced "Irish Need Not Apply" signs as they sought to enter the American work force. American Irish now take great pride in their ability to adapt to this, their new homeland. But over in Ireland things are changing radically. Before I get to that information let's look at two of the institutions which seem to have made Ireland famous; Irish Setters and Shamrocks. The Irish Red Setter is a dog breed that was developed in Ireland during the 1700s . This breed was created from a breed of Old Spanish Pointer, also known as setting spaniels. Where does the name Irish setter originate? The name is derived from the Gaelic term, Madra rua which has a literal translation of ‘red dog.' These dogs are similar to other breeds of the line such as the English setter and the Gordon Setter . In the beginning, the Irish setter was primarily bred for hunting purposes, particularly for setting and pointing for upland game birds. Irish Setters are traditionally used for many types of hunting because of their swiftness, keen sensitivity to smell and are enduring through practically any type of terrain and in virtually any weather condition. This breed was popular for hunting on the wetlands. Below is the rating this dog got from the ADBA: Affection:  Energy: Playfulness: Sociability with other dogs: Sociability with other pets: Sociability with strangers: Trainability: Exercise needs: Grooming needs: G-r-r-r can't line these stoopid stars up perfectly! So if you have a hankering for a pure breed high energy loves everyone even the robbers in the night - get yourself an Irish Setter. Personally I think this is a most beautiful dog but it saddens me that people get this breed and don't work them. This is a working dog, happiest when they are working. SHAMROCKS! Shamrocks have been symbolic of many things over the years. According to legend, the shamrock was a sacred plant to the Druids of Ireland because its leaves formed a triad, and three was a mystical number in the Celtic religion, as in many others. St. Patrick used the shamrock in the 5th century to illustrate the doctrine of the Holy Trinity as he introduced Christianity to Ireland. In the 19th century it became a symbol of rebellion, and anyone wearing it risked death by hanging. It was this period that spawned the phrase "the wearin' o' the green". Today, the shamrock is the most recognized symbol of the Irish, especially on St. Patrick's Day, when all over the world, everyone is Irish for a day! The original Irish shamrock (traditionally spelled seamróg, which means "summer plant") is said by many authorities to be none other than white clover, a common lawn weed originally native to Ireland. Occasionally, a fourth leaflet will appear, making a "four-leaf clover," said to bring good luck to the person who discovers it. Here's something for everyone to think about today (or not). Ireland today is the richest country in the European Union after Luxembourg. How did this happen? The country that for hundreds of years was best known for emigration, tragic poets, famines, civil wars and leprechauns [not to mention unrest] today has a per capita G.D.P. higher than that of Germany, France and Britain. Ireland's turnaround began in the late 1960's when the government made secondary education free, enabling a lot more working-class kids to get a high school or technical degree. As a result, when Ireland joined the European Union [E.U.] in 1973, it was able to draw on a much more educated work force. In 1996, Ireland made college education basically free, creating an even more educated work force. In 1990, Ireland's total work force was 1.1 million. This year it will hit two million, with no unemployment - that's right NO UNEMPLOYMENT. So maybe those of us in the U.S. should look to the land of our Irish ancestors and re-learn some lessons in fiscal management, responsibility and education? What do you all think? Me - I'm takin' me Irish Box of Tissues to bed and use my day off constructively - recoverin' from yet another bout of this cold/flu that is hitting our fair Valley. *sniffle - honk - snort* |
| Saint Paddy's Day! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** In honor of one-half of my heritage [the unknown linage part] I decided to start throwing green at you all. I don't know much about my Irish ancestors, well nothing really. I know my grandparents came to the United States from Ireland, they had a daughter [yeah yeah my mother] and that's about it. So I am 1/2 Irish. That is where my green eyes come from. The Claddagh Ring Legend tells of a man, from Claddagh, who was captured by pirates a week before he was to be married. While he was enslaved, he learned to be a goldsmith. He created a ring for the bride he longed to see again. The heart in the center symbolized their love, the hands holding the heart symbolized their friendship, and the crown represented their loyalty. He did indeed return to his bride, gave her the ring, and married her. Today, tradition follows that if you are given this ring in friendship the heart points outward; if given in love, the heart points inward. There is so much history surrounding the "Emerald Isle" and I am extremely bad at history [gak phooey] so I won't go into any of that. However there is some semi-historical stuff I found that I didn't know so let me pass a wee bit on. That way on St. Paddy's day you won't go empty headed to the green beer party! IRISH PROVERBS A closed mouth--a wise head A guest should be blind in another man's house. A little of anything isn't worth a pin; but a wee bit of sense is worth a lot A narrow neck keeps the bottle from being emptied in one swig. Don't let your tongue cut your throat Everyone praises his native land. It destroys the craft not to learn it. Leave the bad tale where you found it. Never give cherries to pigs or advice to fools. You never miss the water till the well has run dry.  Bet you're feeling enlightened now aren't you? Thought so. Now for an Irish joke! Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Seamus?" Joey-Jim asked. "Well didn't ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus. "Ah, praise the Almighty!" he replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!" My favorite however are the ever so descriptive Irish Blessings! May your pockets be heavy- Your heart be light And may good luck pursue you Each morning and night May good luck be your friend In whatever you do And may trouble be always A stranger to you. May the saint protect ye- An’ sorrow neglect ye, An’ bad luck to the one That doesn’t respect ye t’ all that belong to ye, An long life t’ yer honor- That’s the end of my song t’ ye! So while everyone waits for the first hint of Spring reflect well on the blessings of the tiny worm once called Herman. Be happy - be lucky - stay true to yourself! |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The first thing you will see is the lack of window displays. Highly unusual in today's retail market place. Then you notice that the logo and neon sign are done in the most intense black and aqua. Eye catching you think. Open the door and wipe off your feet on the mat that reads: Wondering? Step Inside! No bells tinkle to announce you, no irritating buzzer noise. The carpeting under foot is thick, plush and is again deepest black with symmetrical sprinklings of the logo. You have just entered 'WONDERMENTS, Inc.'. Why do so many people have a fear of clowns? Are dogs’ mouths really cleaner than humans’? How did they figure that there are seven dog years to one human year? The store's manager greets you quietly and asks if it's your first visit. She hands you a brochure that explains the store's layout, what kinds of products you will find and then she tells you to enjoy yourself. The first display you come to is a glass case with a miniature set designed from Games-R-Us. The tiny set is dark, but when you press the big silver button, a tiny spotlight shines down on a Game Show. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you' ll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.  Those were from old episodes of Hollywood Squares, a Game show and the comic's answers were supposedly spontaneous. My laughter was when I read them I'll tell ya that! Thanks for visiting the store - please come back again folks.  |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The Future We all want to know what will be in our Future - right? Okay, some of us. Alright already - a few of us, sheesh. So we use "tools" to tell us our Fortune. I love playing and found many sites that helped me to do both! I got to "see" my future AND I got to play. From: http://predictions.astrology.com/cb/ I asked one word "MONEY", clicked on the Crystal Ball and received the following response - The Crystal Ball's reply: I can't believe that you asked me that. Then (after giggling about that absolutely inane response) I went to: http://www.powerfortunes.com/free-horoscopes.php SAGITTARIUS There are indications that you will receive some family related good news in March. There may be a marriage or celebration in your family. You will be in contact with a friend who is located overseas. You may also be entertaining some friends of relatives from out of town. An influential person will help you to resolve an outstanding issue. Well I do have a friend 'overseas' - in Iraq and entertaining out-of-town peop's - nahhhh. That influential person may be my boss who might just get fed up with my mouth! I wasn't really satisfied though and went to see what the Goths could tell me: http://www.facade.com/runes/ The left rune represents the first possible outcome. Berkana, the birch tree, is representative of rebirth, fertility, and a positive outcome to ventures undertaken. It is also the rune of families. Here the rune is reversed, warning you to be heedful of new beginnings, lest they sour. Rebirth is either delayed, or totally disrupted. There is also a warning of family troubles. The right rune represents the second possible outcome. Perth, the rune of chance and gambling has been drawn reversed. This can have many possible meanings. It could represent secrets revealed or mysteries uncovered. It could be a warning against gambling - now might not be the time to take a chance. The bottom rune represents the critical factor that determines what will come to pass. Tyr was the Norse god of war. It was through his sacrifice that the great force of chaos, the wolf Fenrir was bound. Here however, you have drawn the rune reversed. This could mean that a sacrifice made will not lead to the desired result. It could also mean a loss, or a victory overturned. This rune warns against entering into conflicts or negotiations, especially ones requiring that an offering or concession be made - the wolf might take your hand and yet remain unbound. Note also that Tyr was the god of law, so there is a suggestion of a wrongdoer who will avoid justice. Things are not looking up are they? DARN. Okay enough of the game 'Tell me my future!" cuz it's dismal at best according to these sites. Morarji Desai: Life at any time can become difficult. Life at any time can become easy. It all depends upon how one adjusts oneself to life. I like that quote. It reminds me that Life is difficult and it should be. How can I learn if I don't struggle through situations? If everything were a breeze, easy and all, where would the challenge be? See - even when we hurt, are in need of something that we can't define precisely we are learning stuff. Well let me amend that - at least I'm learning stuff. I shouldn't try to speak for anyone else. I dislike hard times, truly I do. I dislike waking up with every bone, muscle and tendon screaming in pain from the day's work before. I cannot stand having stress dreams about work, unresolved anger issues yet - yet I am learning. I'm growing. I'm evolving. I AM ALIVE! This is the best game in town folks and I intend to play it out to the very end. Thanks.  |
| ...beggers would ride. Ever heard of that expression? I heard it when I was very young and asked what did it mean. I was told that people always wish for stuff. "I wish I were wealthy." "I wish I were young again." "I wish you would go away." "I wish I never had to work again." ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Since I am just recovering from six days back to back of working, and have no actual blog topic, I made the graphic and am going for it. Lucky peop's! If you had one wish and it would come true, what would you wish for? The rules are as follow: 1. You can't wish for more wishes - duh. 2. You can't give your wish away. 3. The wish must be used within twenty-four hours of it being granted 4. You can't use the wish to benefit only yourself. 5. You cannot use your wish to harm anyone or anything on the planet. tick tock tick tock Clock's ticking! What would you wish for? Me? I am going to take a nap. I'm still exhausted! |
You know how Voxxylady  has like three long tablets of intensely organized stuff she keeps? Wow, first of all - wow. That is impressive. Now, you know how Scarlett is a neat freak? Zambozalloopa double triple WOW! If you give me a tablet of paper and expect me to write down important stuff to do, to remember, to achieve this is what you will get from me.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Yup I am a doodler. I am infamous for doodling! For example one fine day whilst attending a fair University of Some Kind of Learning I was supposed to be taking notes. Now the class was Theatre and my Professor was giving us a slide show (big mistake number one). The slides were all about Greek Tragedy. This was a huge lecture hall holding over 250 peop's. The Professor turned off the lights so everyone could see the slides. (big mistake number two). I had opened my notebook, pen poised to take all sorts of remembering stuff when he doused the lights. I closed my notebook, turned it over and began doodling. Oh I was on a roll. Now, my Professor had restless feet and those lil devils started him walking up and down the long staircases while he lectured. It's coming. I had my head down and was concentrating on not falling asleep and filling in a particular design that was actually kinda cool. B*A*M - my notebook disappeared off my desk top. I looked up in the face of this Prof and in a quiet voice, as he perused my artful doodles, he said, "If you can tell me what I just said, I will return this to you to continue drawing on." heehee Now, if he had said I had to tell him what he had said five minutes INTO the lecture I would have lost one perfectly fine notebook. He didn't specify. I quoted his last three sentences almost word for word. Yup - got my notebook back! Of course I promptly blew it by grinning. Did you know they can make you stay after school at a UNIVERSITY? Darn. The ONLY thing that saved me was that my grade was a low 'A'. Whew. I think a blank piece of paper a fine thing - really I do. Its just that its blank! Boring blank and that requires some real effort to make it not pristine boring anymore. I doodle. I design wacky things and color them in and let me tell I am NO artist. My designs are just randomness all over the place. If someone put a blank tablet in front of you right this minute, plus a pen with whatever your favorite color ink is, what would you do? Write words, lists or other sundry items? Would you sketch your plans for the upcoming garden? Sketch your favorite candy bar? What would you do? Perhaps, maybe you would leave it blank. In Life, I think we get a blank tablet of pristine paper to begin our lives with. What we put on that tablet marks our very own history. We tell our story on that tablet. Sometimes the pages fill up so fast we have to use both the front and back of each sheet. Other times there will be blank spots with nothing on it. Myself I like a well doodled pad thank you very much. I also require multi-colored pens and crayons, finger paints and colored pencils to fill my tablet up. Whatever you do, have a grand time with your personal tablet. |
I have heard that some people don't like the over use of Emoticons in blog entries, emails etc. Well I am here to warn everyone about a little known fact. If an Emoticon doesn't get used - it is discarded!  That's right. There are many Emoticons who once had productive lives that are no more. They have been sent to a recycling plant. Don't ask what they make out of unused Emoticons - it fairly makes me shudder. We have the popular Emoticons around, Mr. Smiley Face; Mr. G-r-r-r-ie, etc, but how many of you have seen this guy? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thought so! No one remembers him anymore do they? Statisticians did their homework and found that a grey colored Emoticon just didn't work with people. No one wanted to be associated with the use of this poor dude. Some scientists theorize that no one knew when to use this Emoticon. Was it to be used when ill and tired? If you were sick of some situation, did you use this one? Confusion about usage plus the ukkie color lead to this guy's demise. I found his picture tucked away at the back of EMOTICON DAILY NEWS. Don't know how many of you have read this tabloid but I found dozens of interesting articles written about Emoticons, their history, their proper and improper usage plus cartoons poking fun at humans. It is written by a group of disgruntled overused, overworked Emoticons. You think Mr. Smiley likes to be plastered all over? He was interviewed last year and told his public that it's the humans incapacity to incorporate smiling words in their writing - well he also was bucking for a bigger cut of the profit margin, but you know those celebrity types. Next time you go to slap an Emoticon into your writing just remember, for a brief second at least, all those forgotten Emoticons who are no longer with us. Let us bow our heads for a moment's reflection. Now, don't you feel better?  |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I admit it. I am a Forgetfullner. I am one of the original Forgetfullner's from way back when they came over on, um, some ship - I forget - in the year, um, well nevermind that. I am of hearty stock! Being one of these family members, I have my own secret methods to remembering! Yup - I write down on a slip of paper what I need to remember then I put it: IN A SAFE PLACE Anyone see the problem yet? 'k, let's move on now. The other day, or maybe a week or two or three ago, a friend who used to work with me invited me to her son's Bar mitzvah. I wasn't sure about going as (a) I'm not Jewish (b) I don't own one of those skull caps and (c) she wouldn't tell me what gift I should get - throw a (d) in there cuz she also wouldn't tell me who was catering this thing. Nor would she tell me if chocolate would be featured in some way. I put the plan on the back burner of my brain, wrote down all the specifics of the event, time, place, date and promptly told myself to: PUT IT IN A SAFE PLACE Which I imagine I did. Now, I can't find the paper at all. This always happens and while it doesn't surprise me it does leave me wondering if there isn't some flaw in my plan to remember stuff. So, I asked my roomie, "Hey you see a piece of paper somewhere with X's name on it plus other stuff?" She looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, "Tell me you didn't put it in a SAFE PLACE!" She knows me. I then asked her, "Where was my last safe place I used?" She just shook her head and walked away. I bugged her about that and she finally told me, "We can't figure out where any of your SAFE PLACES are!" Now some of you may be disconcerted by this. It has its down side sure, but think of the UP side to this! When I find my SAFE PLACE or even PLACES, think what goodies I will find there! Myself, I don't know cuz I don't remember now what I put in my SAFE PLACE but I sure hope that extra set of car keys to my roomies car is in one of them. That or I hope she never asks for them back. Today is Friday and I don't want you to forget - have a great weekend. Don't go putting that in any SAFE PLACE! P.S. I missed the kid's Bar mitzvah but my friend just laughed when I explained my family background. Whew. |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nothing you could say could tear me away from my dot.... (my dot....) Nothing you could do.... 'cause I'm stuck like glue to my dot.... (my dot....) I'm sticking to my dot....like a stamp to a letter Like birds of a feather....we stick together.... I'm tellin' you from the start.... I can't be torn apart from my dot.... Yup I love my DOT....somebody [who shall remain nameless Eric W] told me they are supposed to be called Eclipses or something but I call them DOTS....I was informed I should only use THREE in a row....but everyone knows DOTS live in litters and want to hang with each other..... Love my dots...............see how orderly they are? Unlike the screwie comma - ew or boring dash -- ew ew...........DOTS just say "LOOK AT ME I'M FOLLOWING YOU!" okay that can be kinda scary huh? A comma is just a dot with a tail and a question mark has a dot not to mention exclamation points so DOTS RULE!......!......! Sorry had to write this and do it quick.....I have to go get ready for work now  May all your dots follow you faithfully wherever you go............... |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "We want a story!" "Yeah we do - we want a story." "Tell us a story pl-l-l-e-e-a-a-s-s-e-e..." "Shuddup all of you. Oh, and quit following me!" Isn't it strange how certain animals just cannot get along? Not in a predator vs meal type of not getting along either. On the other hand - isn't it strange how certain different species of animals do get along? Like - Men and Women. or Snakes and Vultures or Gerbils and Parrots You get my drift. There seems to be nothing certain species have in common, or not much anyway, yet they persist in either (A) getting along like PB&J or (B) not getting along like programmers and accountants. Who said that infamous line? Oh, you know the one! "Can't we all just get along?" Well, why can't we? It would make Life so much more - um, in so many ways - uh, hang on...it would make Life --- BORING. Admit it. Differences should be applauded, not looked down on, unless you are a giraffe but that's rare in today's modern society. At least it is rare in Phoenix Arizona - giraffes looking down...well at the zoo and all. >yes Sweets I know - focus focus focus< Now that we are in complete agreement on something let's look at the differences between Men and Women. Not the usual physical ones either. Not the mind set nor the missing shopping DNA strand or the primate chest pounding that women do - wha? OH that men do..right, I always get that sdrawkcab. Ready? Good - here's the story. "You want a story then? Here is the story. Perhaps you will learn something from it. There was once a man who was being chased by a ferocious tiger across a field. At the edge of the field there was a cliff. In order to escape the jaws of the tiger, the man caught hold of a vine and swung himself over the edge of the cliff. Dangling down, he saw, to his dismay, there were more tigers on the ground below him! And, furthermore, two little mice were gnawing on the vine to which he clung. He knew that at any moment he would fall to certain death. That's when he noticed a wild strawberry growing on the cliff wall. Clutching the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other and put it in his mouth. He never before realized how sweet a strawberry could taste." In everyone's Life there should be strawberries. Pick one. Eat it. Enjoy it. Hang on. P.S. Sorry Sweets - just couldn't resist this. It was just so - so YOU! |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Remember I told you all about those killer roaches that come up from the sewers and attack unwary humans? Remember? Yeah, the ones that wait until you are 3/4 asleep then pounce on you as you go to take your morning shower! Those are the ones. I had a plan to keep them down where they belonged. I closed the drain - when I remembered but soon I forgot to remember. So-o-o-o I put my Duckie in the tub to guard that drain. He sat there and stayed when I told him to. "Sit! Stay! Don't move now!" Obedient Duckie he was. >sigh< Yes 'was', but he must have gotten bored on guard duty and went over to play with Mr. Bubble Head or something because this morning - ATTACK OF THE KILLER ROACH I hate when this happens. They are so ugly! Where was my Duckie while the battle for supremacy raged? Oh, he was laying on his side, playing dead. I didn't buy it for one tiny millisecond and when the battle was over, soldiers accounted for and wounds healed, I put that Duckie in JAIL! Yes that's right - Private Duckie has been COURT MARSHALLED. The jailer is to give him nothing but bread - no water - that's his fav you see - water, so NOPE, no water for Duckie. Stoopid roaches. Bad Duckie. New bruised shin. Ow. Now normally when I take a bath, Duckie and I are a team. He beats up any and all errant bubbles that happen to pounce when they are supposed to just lay there with all the other bubbles. He can take out any submarine I aim him at. Forget about mean washclothes too! He takes em down. The only thing he has not been able to defeat, up till now anyway, has been Lil Ms. Deevil Duckie. She has him stumped. He jumps on her, she throws him off. He dives under her, she floats serenely away from his attack. WELL - let's see how Duckie likes his new jail cell (under my sink). I have closed the drain and put Ms. Deevil Duckie on top to make sure those killer roaches don't crawl up and out ever again. Until the next time I forget to close the drain. >sigh< Hope all your battles are well fought today, planned for and attack them with gusto. Enjoy the Life you got cuz you can't have mine! |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The Future Arts Revival Teaching Symposium would like to take this opportunity to thank the Academy Awards for loaning us their slightly used Red Carpet for this auspicious occasion. We do ask our guests to watch for that huge tear left in the carpet by Jason Reitman who did not win an award for Best Director in the movie Juno. We are not sure how he managed to bring a back hoe to the Red Carpet area. As many of you are aware, F.A.R.T.S. was a federally funded non-profit organization originally created to promote artists in all mediums. Due to lack of interest in the program we now gain our funding the truly American way - we panhandle. You may have seen some of our staff along the by-ways of America's super highways holding signs that state; "Need Money for Beer, Pot and Poker". Let us thank all of you who donated to a worthy cause. On this, our first award show, we would like to thumb our noses at those bureaucrats who said we wouldn't survive without their money. Tonight we would like to salute our winner of this prestigious award as well as all those losers. The Electoral College tallies the votes and places the results in envelopes which remain sealed until the ceremony. Tonight you, our viewing audience will be the first to know who won this award. Now we have to break for Station Identification. Please stay tuned. We will return to our show shortly! W.X.T.V. the only station with no identification what so ever. are we on yet? JOE! Are we back on ai... Hello and welcome back! Let me explain about the categories for this award while you are still awake. There is currently one category that is voted upon and tallied. The category is Foreign Language Skills The nominees for this award this year, are: Mr.Monk- GPs for the poor  for use of musical lyrics to express himselfNada for actually viewing the Oscars while drooling over jewelrytmrayfor speaking in some extinct language - we believe to be a form of English! sweett for her arcane abilities with large motor vehicles David McClain for his unique ability to communicate with frozen creatures Douger who resides with some scary old ladyDave Gordon and his adoration of chocolateNikola~Loving Her Gracie Girl!  wearing a bustier and running amokPlannerDan intertwining creative speak with city counsels everywherebugzy is baaaccck!! our frozen northern artist who visits carrot patches on a regular basisljkam currently touring foreign lands Sweets a unique lady with a more unique job in the pachyderm industryGrifter a gentleman who has researched male urine extensivelyccstring someone who has the uncanny ability to speak in tongues Voxxylady a truly inspirational lady who obtains her wisdom from quotations from other peopleYes there were many nominations this year, the first of the Award and the judges were hard pressed to make up their frivolous minds. After many Snicker Bars, glasses of Mountain Dew and untold hours of soul searching the Judges cast their votes. Many of you may have heard there was ballot stuffing and we want to know that no such activity occurred. TV Director cues up the music - "High Hopes" Next time you're found, with your chin on the ground There's a lot to be learned, so look around Just what makes that little old ant Think he’ll move that rubber tree plant Anyone knows an ant, can’t Move a rubber tree plant But he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes So any time your gettin’ low ’stead of lettin’ go Just remember that ant Oops there goes another rubber tree plant! Let me open this over large big brown envelope and see who our winner is shall I? sound of ripping, shredding, tearing and mayhem ensues! AND THE WINNER is Yes there it is folks! Our winner for the first ANAL, uh ANNUAL Golden Leaf Award! Ms. Bugzy please step up to the mike and accept this award........ |
| In a still empty station a manager and executive producer wait for the next applicant to make her appearance. The interviews are tough and the choices slim. A female walks into the booth, boots singing out a beat of their own. The interview begins.... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Please tell us your name." "Mah nam is Faye Kinnit an' mah mother's nam is Doo Kinnit." "Kaye you understand this position as DJ would entail the playing of music. What would you like to have on your musical list?" "Me favorite music is by clique av boys from oyt west, called de boyz." "What music would you play on air?" "We wud be live correct? So oi wud choose waaat de listeners want ter 'ear." "Our listeners happen to love Country music. How do you feel about that?" "Oi wouldn't listen ter it if yer forced me ter!" "How about introducing one of your favorite songs for us now?" " 'Touch Me Body' a CD single by artist Mariah Carey. We nu from de title waaat Mariah wants us ter chucker." "We'll be in touch, uh, calling you later Miss Kinnit. Thank you. Next please!"    So we have more questions which need answering to find those perfect DJ's. We have a Whether Grill and the dude doing the electronic stuff but we have to have some perfect DJ's. The following are a list of actual song titles. After reading them, all applicants will pick one that appeals to them the most, and write the first stanza of the song (no peeking on the WWW either now!) We want to see if you can baffle and amaze our Executive Producer! I Thought She Was Out Jogging, But She Was Running Around On Me If the Phone Don’t Ring, It’s Me Not Calling You Up If Love were Oil, I’d be a Quart Low At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self-Service Pump and last but not least... I’m The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised Let's see how our interested applicants do with this round hm? Have a great weekend all - I'll be hanging out at my favorite waterin' hole - IKEA... |
| Every new job position starts with an interview. The following was just the first interview in our long line of interviews for the position of DJ on WDUM Radio in beautiful downtown Toad Suck, Arkansas. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Name?" "huh? Ma name? Is dishere mike on? dishere a real live show now?" "No. This is the taped interview. You are here applying for the DJ position aren't you?" "Ya mean like da job thang? Yeah! Ah want da job. I'd be real fine at it." "Fine. Let's start with your name." "Ma real name or whut Ah want dem ta know me by on da radio?" "Start with your real name - please." "Uh, Ben." "Ben what?" "Nope that ain't my last name!" "What is your last name?" "Dover." "Your name is Ben Dover?" "Yeah but Ah want ta be called Da Shock Doctor!" "Let's move on. What is your prior experience?" "Y'all mean on da radio?" "Yes. What qualifications do you have?" "Bloo blaizes, Ah got years o' sperience! Why ma daddy taught me how ta use his radio in his rig when Ah was knee high ta..." "Ham radio? You mean you haven't ever been on a radio station?" "Bloo blaizes - nah differnt. Y'all push a button an' jes start jaw jackin." "Thank you Mr. Dover. We'll be in touch." "Ah don't like folks touchin' me." "Wait by your phone. We'll call you." "Ah don't haf a fone. Ah know! Call me on ma radio! Ma handle is..."   The search is on to find a DJ or DJ's (PC: DJette?) for our new Radio Station. If interested please answer the following questions: 1. Your name - not too difficult right? 2. Your prior experience on a Radio Station 3. Why you would be a good fit for DJ on WDUM Radio 4. What will your musical programming include? 5. Ever milked a chicken? Have to keep our list to FIVE - its a law here. So apply today. WDUM RADIO - the station that has (f)ART. |
| YO Ho Ho and here I am again. Yeah I was MIB [missing in Blogsville] but it's a boring story so let's just skip to the good part - I HAD A THUNK while I was away. I am blaming Nada for this condition!She stated there wasn't enough FUN in Blogsville lately and while I was in enforced non-Webness, I did what any Anyea would do. I started THUNKING. First off, I knew my last entry was out there - leaving that sad note for any to see. I didn't like that I had to leave my blog in that condition either. So, I thunk and I thunked some more. What is that I hear? What did I come up with out of my thunkedness? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Yup - I got an idea. A RADIO STATION with MUSIC and DJ'S and EVERYTHING!...well sorta kinda maybe working on the whole thingie now.Anyea will humbly [ahem] and gratefully accept all and any suggestions, input and voice-overs. Chocolate will be gleefully accepted. Stoopid customers won't give me theirs - brats. Whatcha think? Like it? Love it? Dubious nah sayers step to the rear of the auditorium if you will. Watch out for that cliff edg...opps... I also see that an OLDTIMER showed his face again. Welcome back ParteeOfSix...huh? He is still holding at FIVE? Oh man, six months and he should have GROWN...hmmm...well welcome back dude! To all of you out there - smile darn it! It's just the beginning of a new adventure in wackiness, silliness and FUN FUN FUN - OH OH and I got a rubber band machine gun to play with! nevermind...you have to be here to REALLY enjoy that one! heeheeheehee.... |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I love that we, the residents of Blogsville, put our ideas and opinions out there for everyone to read. I love that many disagree with the stated entry yet maintain their dignity and intelligence while differing. I love the kindness and giving I see. Thank goodness I have something I enjoy. Here's what I hate lately: 1. Retail shoppers 2. More retail shoppers 3. Even more retail shoppers 4. All retail shoppers Kinda outrageous huh? We just went through a horror of three days non-stop shopping due to the three day weekend upon us. Now, not everyone gets Monday off. It is after all a federal holiday. However everyone and their mother, brother, sister, cousin, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, baby drooling screaming fit throwing monsters hit IKEA's doors by the thousands. I was subjected to more rude, ignorant, uncaring, self-centered abuse in the last three days than in my entire year at IKEA. (almost a year? DAMN!) I was called everything from a F***ing B**** to an A**hole. I was ignored when I offered choices, laughed at when I explained the 'green' policy of plastic bags and generally treated like a 4th class citizen. Last night I blew up. I don't care anymore. I had to turn a customer away with cash as my line was for Debit/Credit only. She attempted to bribe me to take her cash. I called a manager to take her over. While this occurred my line was stalled, the store was closing and 25 people were getting angrier and angrier. At the woman? No - at me. The next customer in line was rude and cussed me out properly for giving such crappy customer service. The next lady said she had never seen such slow service in her life. The next man started in - I held up my hand and in a clear voice said: "I know none of you see us as human beings with any rights whatsoever. I want you all to know every cashier is attempting to give you the best service possible. We are well aware of the time. We understand you are frustrated and want to go home." I don't care anymore. I don't ask these people to hang about a store which has hours posted and even keep shopping during the announcement that our store is officially closed. I don't care if they have to stand in a frickin line for the rest of their stupid lives. They live on their cell phones anyway so what difference does it make? Today it happened again. And again. I don't care. Seriously uncaring going on and I'm pretty sure my eyes reflect my anger. One lady wanted my name and was going to report me. I told her to please go ahead. She had thrown - literally thrown - her shopping bag at me. I told her to chill out. I don't care. I have never seen adults act like such temper tantrum throwing babies lately. I don't care if they didn't get a refund. I don't care if they can't buy the latest toy. I don't care if they exist! I don't care. ....please consider that the person serving you is probably sick to death of humanity. Try acting with a little respect and consideration when you reach a cashier. We are tired, sore, and fed up. The stories we cashiers share at the end of the day only fuels my inability to care whether there is ANY customer service. ANY! So the next time someone whines about poor American Customer Service - remember who we have to SERVE. Yeah, customer service sucks. There is a reason for that. Customer Service is going over seas in many industries - there is a reason for that as well and not all of it is financial gain. The Eyes have it - anger, disappointment and disillusionment. |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Before anyone says anything - yes I am emotional. I am teeter-tottering between my emotions and my intellect all the time and at 'certain' times of the month [ahem] it only gets worse. This is one of those times so if you don't want to be sucked under - well the door is behind you! Today, words kept flinging themselves through my brain. Let me explain that when I say this I mean it's as if I have a big motion picture screen in my mind and someone is having a slide show. I see words. Today's word was - ACUITY Looked it up to find it's etymology and discovered: from the French => acuité < ML acuitas < L acus, needle The word, in English is a noun and means acuteness; keenness, as of thought or vision. You know how sometimes you all have a flash of an idea? Sometimes a thought will burst into your brain and you get one of those "light bulb" moments? Acuity. So what you ask? Why would you think about that word? I guess it's because I'm severely lacking this component lately. I haven't had any acuity for so long that myself wanted to remind me that it still exists - somewhere, for others maybe - it is still around. "AhHA!", you will exclaim. "What about your artwork? What about that?" Hm. To be honest, my artwork is secondary to my intellect. It's like, um, you are watching the news on television but thinking of something different. Part of you is engaged in the screen but your mind is skittering around like a frantic mouse trying to solve a maze. Thus it is with my Photo Shop works. I am learning Photo Shop because I just can't get back into programming right now. Programming is boring but I love computers so much that I have to do something logical. "ah HA HA HA!!" I heard that. You claim that my artwork is emotionally based, not intellectual? Here's where I will lose some of those who haven't made use of that Exit Door yet. I can detach myself emotionally when working in Photo Shop. I pull back and see what I'm currently working on in a non-emotional, objective manner. Which I suppose is weird. Art is supposed to be about emotions right? Hm. Well that's my blog for today. I have to go to work now and shut down any attempts at thinking. Trust me, thinking and this job - not a good mix. Have a great day all and remember - the next time that light bulb goes off - pay attention to what it shines on. |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The above picture is of my baby, Dewley. This is the male dog I rescued over 2 years ago. He'll be 3 in April of '08. This young lad is up to 80 pounds and he is tall and leggy. You can't get the full effect of Dew as he is laying down, but yup, that is Dew. "Doing the Dew!" My roomie and I use this expression when Dew plays his "...but but...it wasn't me mom!" look. He runs like a horse - seriously! He would make some horses so ashamed they wouldn't want to run again. He was also the more abused of the two puppies I rescued. When we got him at all of 4 pounds, there was some doubts he would make it. His terror was so pronounced of everything and everyone - except me of course - that everyone wondered if he could survive Life. His new sister CC saw to it that he not only survived, but picked up many many bad habits from her. Many. Bad bad habits. Now Dew wants to be a 'normal' animal he just can't figure out how to get over his terrors. The weird thing, or perhaps the wonderful thing, is that he isn't afraid of what CC is afraid of. CC doesn't allow herself to be afraid of much. CC, due to her mistreatment, is terrified of thunder - not Dew; CC gets the shakes when it rains hard - nope not my Dew Boy. He will walk through a down pour and not even seem to notice it. Hm. That's it for CC's list of fears. Dew's is quite long. I won't go into them as you guys wouldn't believe how much terrifies this HUGE dog. The interesting thing is, all of Dew's fears are 'learned' fears. Fear of big garbage bags - he had an example of what they are used for. The previous scum wad that owned Dew's mom and litter was a crazed idiot who is residing in jail for extreme cruelty to animals. Imagine the use Scum Idiot had for garbage bags. Dew is afraid of people - all people except myself, my roomie and strangely two other friends of ours. That's his short list on human bonding though - four total. The rest of humanity can just go away and leave him alone thank you very much. Look at the boy's face. It's like a sad clown act you would see in a circus isn't it? Aw-w-w and you just want to pet him and hug him - don't. He won't let you. He isn't mean about it nope - he will go into a terror zone and charge away. If I happen to be on the end of a leash, my arm just got longer. ow. Dew helps me think about his learned fears and the way humans learn fear. I think about the mistreatment he suffered as a very small puppy, fears he can't get over, recover from or escape from and I think about humans who have learned fear with the same results. One lady told me to take Dew to a "Dog Whisperer". I just stood and stared at her. She went on to explain that like Horse Whisperer's there is now specialized Whisperers for dogs, cats and probably Hamsters as well - who knows! She meant well, I know she did. She said it broke her heart to see Dew go into a panic state every time a human came anywhere near him. So I wondered, are there Human Whisperers? Not shrinks - I mean some special person who can understand a human who is terrified of stuff? Or, perhaps this is the supreme job of a pet. A pet can calm down a panicky human, lower their stress levels, and just love them unconditionally. I am thankful for Dew for many reasons. Not for figuring out how to open the front door so he and his sister can run through the complex like 2 wound up Energizer Bunnies either! Not for his love of paper products no matter what they are - and he isn't picky. I am thankful for Dew for teaching me to stay calm and be there for him during his irrational panic attacks. I am thankful for his huge heart which he offers to me and those special few at no cost to anyone. I love this dog. I am sorry his start in Life was so cruel and vicious, but I am glad I adopted him and some day maybe I will be his Doggie Whisperer and show him how to trust other humans - just a little. Maybe. Now go hug your pet or your mate - well? |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You all expected me to post some mushy gushy lovey dovey stuff today didn't ya? NOPE! Hey - it's ME we're talking about. I sent out some homemade V-Day cards to my buddies for today. Why? Well as I explained to Mrs. Whatsit this day just makes me laugh. I don't find Valentine's Day to be romantic at all. Nope I don't. I love to give cards and go out and buy little kids types of cards to distribute to people I know. Nowadays they come with stickers (which I keep), candy (which I eat), and even glow-in-the-dark toys (which I play with). I sign my name upside down, inside out and if I'm in a mood - backwards! Yup. I do. It makes me laugh and isn't that so important? Having FUN. That's what I was leading up to for the past blah blah days. (hm, didn't count how many lovey dovey entries I did) It doesn't matter which day of the year it is, every one should have something to remind you as a human to have fun, experience laughter, share your joys. So I shared with all of you cute peop's! Now, the above picture is probably what you all think I am - cracked. YUP. I am half-baked, stir fried, deep boiled and over easy cracked. That's who I am. Never do the expected, always look for the punch line and when I'm sad I eat CHOCOLATE. I remember when I was in grade school, what a big deal getting those cheap cards was though. I remember the kids that weren't "popular" and their reactions. If they didn't get any cards - I gave them mine. It didn't matter to me. I always give away stuff if someone needs it more - even if they don't actually need it, just want it. My friends hate buying me things for that reason. I may well end up giving it away to cheer someone up, make them laugh, or just feel better for a brief time. Valentine's Day - just another day for Anyea to PLAY! Hope you play well today. |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** There was a song from a long time ago called My Funny Valentine. The lyrics were kind of stupid actually and mean besides - My funny valentine Sweet comic valentine You make me smile with my heart Your looks are laughable Unphotographable Yet you're my favorite work of art Is your figure less than greek Is your mouth a little weak When you open it to speak Are you smart? See what I mean? Today let's talk about laughter between couples who are in a relationship. I am not going to specify what type of relationship because nowadays there are so many differing ones. Laughter - shared laughter heals and bonds friends so why not lovers as well? My friends have laughed at me for things I say, things I've done and even the look on my face sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that. I have learned to laugh at myself. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves... for they will never cease to be amused. Shared laughter is so special. When the two of you find the same thing funny, look at each other and burst out laughing - something special happens. I'm a sucker for anyone who can make me laugh. I went out today and looked for stuff to make you laugh. Share the laughter though, it's one of those things that just needs to be spread around! Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. (Victor Borge) Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables and crafts. As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. "Why the new sign?" I asked. "My boyfriend didn't approve of the old one," she said. When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood. It declared: "Local Honey Dates Nuts" I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. - Tracy Smith . You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that. - Jay Leno So remember to include laughter in your lives. Today, tomorrow - big 'V' Day - and on and on. Life is just too short and to leave laughter out - unforgivable! |
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When we were first married we had an inner city apartment. It didn't matter how much you cleaned and tried to run them off. They just visited next door and came back when the fumes wore off. After nine months of doing battle with earth's oldest creatures we moved. Now that you've mentioned their love for warm and dark computer cases I have a whole new source for nightmares. 
