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| A eclectic Blog for people who like ketchup on their truffles. |
| I pride myself on having had the good sense to oppose the war with Iraq from the beginning. I’m still mad at the people who started the war and the people who voted to reelect the people who started the war, but I don’t approve of withdrawing from Iraq just because we’re getting our asses whipped. And we are getting our asses whipped, fiscally, if not militarily. Nobody in a position of power in this country gives a shit about the twenty five hundred plus American nobodies that have bitten the dust in Iraq. They were expecting at least that many casualties when they went in. And it’s hard to find Americans, at any level, who give a shit about the half million or so Iraqis who been killed since we liberated them from terror. But we are finally starting to squirm about losing money. We’ve poured billions and billions into a black hole without getting anything out the other side and nobody, except the defense contractors, wants that to continue. So now we’re talking about withdrawing or setting a time table to exit or setting goals for the Iraqi government to miss, so we can blame the withdrawal on them. Our whole attitude stinks on ice. Instead of withdrawing, we need to commit enough troops to stabilize Iraq. If that means the US has to take the hit economically, then we need to take the hit. Had we gone into Iraq properly in the first place, the situation in Iraq wouldn’t have deteriorated to this point. Now we need to take responsibility for what we caused. If we have to put half a million soldiers into Iraq to stop the killing, then we need to either DRAFT a half million soldiers, or arrest a half million illegal immigrants, and send them to Iraq. That is the ultimate lesson in democracy. ALL of us suffer along with the ignorant assholes who voted for Bush and his destructive policies. I don't include myself on the asshole list, becasue I never supported this war. When we invaded Iraq for no good reason, we committed to suffering along with the Iraqis as well. But Americans don’t want to suffer. We want to wimp out instead. I can't blame me, but where are all the Republican hero worshipers who DID support it. They need to step up and put their wealth and cajones on the line first. We, led by that dipstick in the White House, don’t want to increase taxes to pay for OUR war, and we, misled by that dipstick in the White House, don’t want to send in enough forces to secure the country for the people of Iraq. What kind of punk-assed bullshit is that? Staying in Iraq may lead to economic disaster for The United States, but economic disaster not the same as getting killed. People in Iraq are getting killed in droves. Until we stop the slaughter, we don’t deserve to worry about ourselves. |
| There’s another Madonna controversy that should be filed under “much ado about nothing”, but threatens to turn explosive. From what I can glean from the evening news, Her Nibs went to Malawi or something other poorly governed African country and purchased a small, black person, so that she could bring him back to the US and fatten him up. Madonna’s seemingly well-intentioned act has apparently had the unfortunate effect of unleashing a tidal wave of jealousy on the part of the millions of white people in the United States who don’t own their own small, black person. One affluent, yuppie couple after another is appearing on the morning talk shows complaining, “If Madonna can do, then why can’t we do it?” Compared to your own small, black person, a BMW just don’t shine like it used to. The United States Government, which fears that unleashing the almost two hundred years of pent up demand—building up since before The Civil War—could change the demographics of America faster than opening the border with Mexico, is putting pressure on the government of Malawi, or whatever badly governed African country it is; to cancel their agreement with Madonna, and take back the small, black person. Now the father is saying that he never intended to give up his child to Madonna. With fathers like that, is it any wonder that life on the continent of Africa sucks! I’m on Madonna’s side here because, wacko or wonderful mother or whatever, she’s the best deal for this baby. Madonna has like a hundred million dollars. The infant’s father has maybe a peso. The baby’s mother and two siblings have already died from disease, and that’s about par for the course in part of the world. If the kid stays on the horn of Africa, he’ll have the longevity of a goldfish. If he goes with Madonna, he could live for ninety years in Beverly Hills. That’s a no-brainer if ever there was a no-brainer. Too bad the small, black person is too young to talk, but since he can’t talk, I'll speak for him. Send the kid with Madonna. If it causes a run on anything wearing a diaper in a poor nations in Africa, so what. I’d rather be a yuppie status symbol than starve to death. |
| I don't hate anything, but there a lot of things that I don't like: I don't like cell phones, and I almost hate getting sales calls on my cell phone. I don't like computers most of the time. I'm not too fond of cars either, at least not the later models. I don't like all these big ol boxy houses in Tucson,AZ. The big ol, boxy houses look fine in eastern suburbs, but in the desert they suck. I don't like war. I don't like my asshole cousin, Terry. Bastard!--literally. And maybe that's his problem. I don't like meetings at work. If I wanted to meet with these people, I'd hang out with them outside of work. Which reminds me... I don't people always trying to get me to hang out with them outside of work. I don't like liars in the Whitehouse, but what are you gonna do? I don't like chunky soup. If you're going to make stew, make stew. I don't like watery stew, if you're going to make soup, make soup. I don't like blurred lines, like the difference between chunky soup and watery stew or the difference between "not bad" and "good". I don't like women with big asses... OK, I'm lying about that one. I just wanted to end on a note that would please the Bombastic Brit. I guess that's all then. Man, oh man! It seems that I ought to not like a lot more stuff than that. we'll just call this rev a. |
| I never win. Take my term life insurance for example. I let it lapse because I got tired of waking up and going, “Oh, crap! I’m still alive.” I had life insurance pegged as a sure thing. New York Life is betting that I going to live and I’m betting that I’m going to die. I oughtta win that one easy, but whoever said “Living is hard. Dying is easy.” was full of shit. I played “policy” for years, and I’ve never even come close to dying of natural causes. What a rip off. I’ve had a couple of close calls in automobile accidents, but all I got was a few bruises and hyper extended knee. Freakin guardian angel! You can bet that when I die, I going to give that S. O. B. a piece of my mind, assuming of course, that I don’t donate my mind to science or something. Maybe I was over insured, but I couldn’t help fantasizing about using that huge death benefit—Incidentally, if it’s LIFE insurance, why isn’t it a LIFE benefit. Makes just as much sense—to do all the things that I’ll never be able to afford to do while living. I was hooked, just like any gambling addict. Years ago, I noticed that I was consistently waking up in the morning, but I kept paying that premium in the hope that one day the scythe would fall my way. I've broken my addiction. That’s the good news. The bad news is that NOW I think I’m dying. Ever since I let that policy lapse, I’ve been getting all kinds of pains: pains in my back, pains in my back, pains in my neck. At this rate, I probably won’t last until the weekend. I’ll die middle class when I could have died rich. That’s another one some dim bulb didn’t get right. It’s not life that’s the crap shoot. Death is the crap shoot. |
| I heard on the news yesterday that the school boards are trying to work out some kind of deal with vending machine companies to put healthier foods in the machines that they install in schools. It seems like our already fat-assed kids are eating too much sugary junk food out of these machines. I have no problem in making it harder for kids to junk food, but why in the hell would schools ever need to work out a deal with vending machine companies? There is absolutely no need for a soft drink machine or a candy machine in a school, any school. To hell with a deal! Just throw the machines out. Of course, there is the little problem with the school board no longer getting a cut of the profits from the sale of all that fattening crap, and that’s the real reason the machines stay in place and the school boards have to “work with” the vending machine companies. As usual it comes down to that old root of all evil, money. The adults who run the schools would rather see their students—you know, the people they are supposed to care about the most—turn into walking lardballs and die, rather than lose their cut from vending machine profits. And the parents of these kids are no better. I think that the eating habits of children are pretty much dictated at home. Kids eat too much junk away from home because they eat too much junk at home. Why do parents feed their children lousy diets? What in it for mom and dad? Maybe more time at the office pursuing their BMW’s versus more time in the kitchen pursuing good nutrition. I mean, if I had to chose between a beamer and a malnourished child, I’d… Well, c’mon! We’ve got health insurance, for Christ’s Sake! I think you can be too skinny as well as too fat, but not that many people are too skinny. It takes work and discipline to be too skinny. It takes sloth and gluttony to be obese. Let’s see: work and discipline versus sloth and gluttony. I guess that explains it. |
| Just because a movie is about mutant people who sprout blades out of their hands and laser beams out of their eyes doesn’t mean that the movie is going to be stupid, but there is a excellent chance that it’s going to be stupid, and the odds overtake “X-Men: The Last Stand” rather quickly. The premise of this movie is that some idiot goes to the trouble of finding a cure for mutation and makes the cure available to all mutants on a voluntary basis. A bunch of Uncle Tom mutants decide that they want the cure, thus pissing off Magneto, who sees the cure as threat to mutant kind. I was on Magneto’s side. Why would the U S want to cure its mutants? I betcha North Korea isn’t curing their mutants. They are probably using them to sneak into the Pentagon and steal our nuclear secrets. I betcha Al Qaeda isn’t curing their mutants. They’re probably hard at work developing a reusable suicide bomber. It would seem to me that in a society as militaristic as ours, mutants would be very valuable indeed. Then the mutants themselves are just wimpy. Storm turns out to be little more than a tempest in a teapot. Wolverine never gets beyond raccoon level. Rebecca Romijn, the sexy actress who plays Mystique is so troweled over with plaster and goo that her tits don’t even jiggle. Kind of ruins the whole point of watching the movie. And then there are the special effects. A movie like this depends on awesome special effects, but the special effects of “X-Men: The Last Stand” don’t awe, not even some. I’d say these are more like tiresome special effects. This may be one of those alternate ending movies because at the beginning, you are invited to "Join the brotherhood" or "Take a Stand". Brothers and hood sounds like a perfectly natural combination to me so I joined the brotherhood. It's kind of cute to pick sides, but I was annoyed that I had to hit PLAY three times to actually start the film. I don’t know if this will be the X-Men’s last stand or not, but I sure hope it’s their last movie. |
| Just when I think I've got America all figured out: North good, South bad. Blue states good. Red states bad... For a short while after learning of the despicable behavior of Mark Foley, the conservative Republican congressman from Florida, who put the move on juvenile congressional pages, I was wallowing happily in my stereotypes like a pig in a mudhole. Now it's looking more and more like Dennis Hastert, the Speaker of the House knew of Foley's behavior and pretty much just let it go. Trouble is that Hastert is from my Northern, true Blue home state of Illinois.Of course even good blue states are rife with red congressional districts, so I shouldn't be surprised. Still I like to think that Illinois is not like Florida or Texas or even Arizona, where I now live. I like to think that the people in Illinois have somewhat higher standards of skulduggery. My hope is that Hastert will be defeated for reelection. However, Hastert's defeat is unlikely. Congressman Hastert represents one of those semi rural districts where the conservative voters don't pay too much attention to what their conservative congressman actually does, as long as he talks the patriotic talk and keeps the farm subsidy checks keep coming. If Hastert were a liberal Democrat, then those same voters would be up in arms. I don't understand conservatism as a political philosophy. It is just a synonym for hypocrasy. We are going through at least eight years of a conservative government. Why isn't the national debt going down instead of up? Why is crime going up? Why is poverty going up? Why can't Johnny read, or even more telling, why can't Johnny think for himself? The leading conservatives, such as Barry Goldwater, that I remember from my youth were different from the cons of today. When I was young, it seemed to me that conservatives really cared about America, but maybe I was just as conned then as the people are now. I'm hoping I'm wrong, but I'd bet that the people of Hastert's district will send him back. These are the voters of family values and Christian morals--until the money gets funny. Hastert will be reelected because he has enough seniority to make sure those voters keep getting their milk money. That's the true appeal of conservatism, and incidentally, the reason the national debt keeps going up. I'm really surprised at how few people,who are in a position to vote for members of the Republican leadership, say that the Republican leadership's handling of the Foley affair will change their vote. As far as the pages are concerned, fuck em! Which is apparently just what Congressman Foley was trying to do. Conservative values on parade. |
| Ever notice how many cute woman reporters the West has in Iraq. And every one of them looks like a mall rat. No wonder the place is full of violent and hyperactive young men. These female reporters are embedded with our military units. I don’t think the insurgents are attacking our troops because they’re mad at us. They just want to get next to a California girl. What if you lived in the land of veils and burkhas and suddenly there were lumps and rumps all over the place? So what if they’re surrounded by men with automatic weapons. Hell! I’d try for it. But as bad as our female reporters are, our Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice is the worst offender. She’s in Bagdad right now. Condi dresses conservatively enough, but did you ever notice how she kind of leans forward when she walks? Is she really carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, or is she just showing off that ass? How many GI’s are going to lose life and limb during her visit because of frantic attacks by hormonally ravaged insurgents? We should experiment with forcing all western women in Iraq to wear those little tents while out in public. If our casualties drop dramatically, then it ought to become policy! |
| I have a serious case of the hots for Condi Rice. There! I’ve said it! You can make fun of me all you want, but I will no longer deny my true feelings for sweet Condoleezza. Yes, I want to get between the knees of Old Eee’s and Zee’s, and I don’t care who knows it. To tell the truth, I feel so dirty when I look at her that way, because technically, she works for me, and I know it’s wrong to have an affair with your secretary. But I can’t help myself. I think about her all the time, no matter where I am or what I’m doing. She rides me like white on… Oh God! See what I mean. I salute the flag and I see her in one of those cute little red suits that she wears. I’ve been banned from the supermarket because of the traffic jam that I create in the Rice and Bean aisle as I stand there daydreaming about being the Uncle Ben on her box. The other day at the mall, I walked past the GAP, and all I could see was Condi’s smile. Hot, buttered, wild Rice. I am defenseless aginst the charms of that woman, but am I so wrong? Is it totally unreasonable to think that one day Condoleezza Rice will, in a steamy voice, say to me, “Take me, ES. I’m yours.” Of course not! This is America. In our great country, anything can happen. I’ll just keep hoping and praying and watching FOX News. Condi always looks good on FOX News. |
| It's just too nice outside to write nasty things about people, so I'll just have to remain inside, because I just saw on CNN something about Condoleezza Rice fussing at former president Clinton, after Clinton was prodded by a Fox news interviewer into wondering aloud what Condi and W were doing during those eight months leading up to the 9/11 bombings. Condi's complaint is that when Bill left office, he didn't give W and her a comprehensive plan to fight terrorism. OK, so what? Condi and W had eight months. That's almost enough time for a mormal couple to build, from scratch, an entire human being; yet Condi claims that eight months wasn't enough time for W and her to build a little old comprehensive plan to fight terrorism. Give me a break! And all this was with the terrorists going, "Woo Hoo, Condi, we're coming to blow you up by flying planes into The World Trade Center!" I notice that on the day of the attack, her ass wasn't in New York shopping. I hate it when highly paid government wonks blame their obvious incompetence on others. I hate it even more that we let them get away with it. |
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