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Review Requests: ON
1,500 Public Reviews Given
1,962 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a form I use for reviews. I look for a Goal, Motivation, Conflict and Resolution. It also allows me to tell what I liked and what I thinks needs improving. In my reviews I may make suggestions by adding my take on what the author is trying to say. Purely a suggestion to take or leave as needed.
I'm good at...
Giving in depth and fair reviews. I usually review stories that interest me. I don't always like them but they have promise and potential. I am fair but I AM reviewing. I do not review grammar or spelling. I do point out past and present tenses as well as the over use of WAS, WENT, THE and THAT in one story so watch those.
Favorite Genres
inspirational, mystery,action/Adventure, paranormal and anything that falls into those broad genre, some fantasy and comedy
Least Favorite Genres
Vampires,YA or adult. This genre is overrated and unless you write much better than Steph Meyer, I probably won't read it. Most Non-fiction unless the premise interest me. Always worth an ask.
Favorite Item Types
Everything in the STATIC file except the ones listed below: Look down
Least Favorite Item Types
Appendix, bulletin, campfire, in n out, editorial,letter/memo, lyrics, outline, preface, script/play, Poetry.
I will not review...
Poetry. I don't understand this style and don't feel confident to review it. Novel or novella, I reserve the right to refuse to review. Not to hurt feelings, but time wise it may be something I can't give good attention to, but always ask.
Public Reviews
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Heart* Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion. *Reading*

*Flower4* What is the goal of the main Character? To make it through the anniversary of the death of a daughter

*Gift1* What motivates that Character to continue to reach that goal? To keep memory of her daughter's death alive to everyone around her.

*Balloon5* What conflicts or situation are trying to prevent the main character from reaching the goal?The fact that her daughter was taken out of her care when she wasn't on guard. The killer won't tell where the bodies of the girls were buried

*Balloon4* Resolution The killer was killed in prison

*Balloon4* Do the characters develop in this story?

*Gift2* What I liked about the story It was a great story well thought out and crafted.

*Gift2* What do I think need work I can;t think of anything that really needs work. Because the story was so interesting nothing came to my attention
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377
Review of The Braided  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart* Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion. *Reading*

*Flower4* What is the goal of the main Character? In the end it was to save his brother

*Gift1* What motivates that Character to continue to reach that goal? Levi realized he loved his little brother

*Balloon5* What conflicts or situation are trying to prevent the main character from reaching the goal? He was scared of water

*Balloon4* Resolution Love overcame fear

*Balloon4* Do the characters develop in this story? Not to me. the setup was too quick and choppy Too much information that wasn't necessary

*Gift2* What I liked about the story That Levi showed his love by overcoming his fear of water.

*Gift2* What do I think need work The whole end of the story.
378
378
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is well thought out in your mind. This"prologue" should be put back into the files as back story. I too have fallen into the trap of tell it all upfront. Prologue should be a moment in time to lead the reader to look for "The rest of the story" in the novel that follows. (for instance the moment the tear becomes the egg and where it is taken. Then the story starts with what leads up to that moment or what happen right after.)
This should be titled "A prequel" What happens before your story starts.

I can't tell if you are going to be a great writer because you didn't tell a story. You were outlining in prose a history lesson that was at best very vague. Peace and Chaos are a concept and different to each person. You seem to make them a physical entity with thoughts and consequences.
I would like to see a sample of your actual story. Your Chosen has a goal; to protect the dragon egg. The dragon will have an instinct goal though I am not clear what it is. I assume that two will have some goal together and a motivation for reaching it. (i.e. They must protect the Fae against Chaos) then there will be the conflicts that keep them from reaching their goal.
You have a great start with plenty of back ground to work with, now what is the plot for your real story?
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very well written. The issues were described in a fashion that was very easy to understand. The article takes the reader from the introduction of acts against women in Pakistan and the consequences of these acts by Pakistani men. The article further unfolds the partial apathy that these women may have due to the long history of these actions. The article further offers in a vague way, that because of twentieth century media these actions against women have been brought to world attention. It further offers a limited choice to all Pakistani women for their lives
The end brings the writer to a personal example of choice and a possible end over which she has no control
I am not sure the purpose of the article, but it is informative.
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I rarely give a 5 only to those who touch me, reach me or connect with me on a high level. It is by emotion that I rate a story/poem. Besides the fact I rarely read poems because they seem to have some meaning beyond my simple comprehension. Your poem excelled above all others. Not only did I understand it fully, was able to read it with ease; I totally and completely agreed.
You have taken the very essence of sin and its parts, to a full understanding by any who read this. I bow your ability as a poet but also your insight and confidence to expound it.
Kudos my friend!
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart* Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion. *Reading*

*Flower4* What is the goal of the main Character? I don't know, there was no goal it was just rambling thoughts to her deceased sister.

*Gift1* What motivates that Character to continue to reach that goal? She was hoping the dead sister could hear her and understand her sorrow.

*Balloon5* What conficts or situation are trying to prevent reaching the goal? I didn't understand the part at the end, who the IT was what went on, it was too vague. There was something about her being in jail, and I don't know if she was in jail at the time she was thinking all of this or not. There was one or two men involved but their place wasn't revealed.

*Balloon4* Resolution There was none. I don't know if she was still in jail or not. I don't know what happened to the sister, did she die in an accident or what?

*Gift2* What I liked/didn't like about the story The ramblings were just that. It was as if the writer needed to get something off her mind and wrote it all down. There was little to reference to except that her sister died and she was feeling a little guilty. There was this part at the end that really made no sense as its real reason was hidden and only known to the writer and her sister. This piece really was written to the sister and left the reader out of the whole story.

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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart*Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


*Note1* First Impression
I was intrigued by the idea and wanted to see what this was about.

*Balloon5* Style and Voice
I think this was written tongue in cheek with a few trueisms thrown in for good measure


*Gift1* Just my personal opinion
The phrase "Nice guys always finish last" is unfortunately true. It is my observation that the Nice Guys also don't come with a very high self confidence gene. They also don't listen to the girls they hang with. Those girls are more than willing to do a make over and take a "geeky Nice Guy" and turn him into a ?Stud muffin. Somewhere along the line everything in this piece is true and happens over and over again!
My favorite line is (Over time, the Sorter was gradually renamed as High School). This made me smile in how true that line is.
While this piece is not a news bulletin, it is a piece that could be condensed and put in a school newsletter!
I think all boys are born with a "nice" gene, it is the environment they come from that surpresses or enables the Jerk to be a Jerk. The Jerk is heavily infused with low self-esteem and needs constant attention to keep inflated.
You have a great insight and a gift for putting your thoughts in print. I will look to see what else you have written. This is a great site to publish your views and get response. Keep writing.

*Gift1* line Items
elderly woman, cwho may be rippled by
whether the Guys are Nice or not. Nice is naturally
unfounded myth about Nife Guys is that
This is the dirt reason the Nife Guy is dying out This is the DIRT? did you want to use that word, because it doesn't fit.
Fresh Nice Guys Re produced reproduce
ardous trek wihout proper consequence
doesn't smother the Nuce Guy's listening instinct.
a Nice Guy trumps anyrhing; makes storybook
This crammed mass shove toeards certified Jerk status produces what is this suppose to read?
recieves a card and an open ear. The
family who are ubfortunatly down on their luck, no longer recieves an anonymous spelling
Thr coworker spelling
already hemorgging common kindness spelling and word usage. That word means to gush, overflow. is that the word you want to use in this context?
and compassion, and their immasureable charisma
The greatest trajedy is a risk never taken spelling
Note: when you are done and have saved your work, go to the VIEW and in the black section at the top you will find edit/wordcount/spell/delete and others. This isn't the greatest version of spell check as it thinks everything is wrong, but you can catch some of the big mistakes.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
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Review of Simple Pleasures  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a wonderful story! It moved at a nice slow pace, giving information and showing the reader the character and his feelings. We were seeing through his eyes. What represented his limitations was who he had become. Then in an instant he found something that gave his life a new meaning. In my mind I can see him, each day remembering something and making it his goal to accomplish it.
Note: I am laughing as my mind is fast forwarding to this old gentlemen in the police station. The Sargeant is asking him what was he thinking lighting that bag of dog poop on your neighbors porch, then go home and sit on your steps. He answers, "in my younger days you would have never caught me I could run."
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Review of The Decision  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
First line, add cell so it reads, Nikki rolled the cellphone. I was thinking a cordless after I ran through all the phones I know that can be "rolled" I am old and that is a lot of phones to sift through. *Smile*
She stood up from the couch and paced the champagne colored carpet. you already said she threw the phone on the couch.
and I probably always will, don't say that, it just invites him to worm his way back in because it is a weak point and she is letting him know it.

I love the action. The words tell us her emothin and interanl conflict. Great job!!
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
That was a very cute way of telling a writer exactily what it takes. It may sound so simple, but it isn't. What makes a writer place their thoughts on paper (or computer)? It is the same thing that makes those awful singers show up on American Idol and claim that everyone thinks they sing wonderful. LIES! Always be honest with your friends even when they don't want to hear it. If they value your friendship, your honesty will save them from the heartache of rejection slips and the humiliation of being on national TV as a joke.
If you can intrigue your readership, make them "feel" then your work will sell. I just hope someday I will get to that point.
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386
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart* Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion. *Reading*

*Flower4* What is the goal of the main Character? To have a good Christmas

*Gift1* What motivates that Character to continue to reach that goal? Times were tough and she belived that good works were rewarded in heaven and sometimes on earth

*Balloon5* What conficts or situation are trying to prevent reaching the goal? Her father had a temper (must not have been a christian man) and the economy

*Balloon4* Resolution Somthing happened to the storekeeper and he was killed in the act of delievering presents. They did arrive.

*Gift2* What I liked about the story There is good in people and a good heart is its own reward. I like good endings.

*Gift2* What I didn't like about the story There were alot of characters introduced that had nothing to do with the story. I think there should have been just Christine and her family situation. Her job at the store discribe in a little more detail. SHOW the wife's attitude with actions and reactions to the customers. If she was so tight why did she let Christine work there part time? Then there was no resolution to the death of Ray. Why did he have to die in the story? If he were doing this in secret in the first place what did his death accomplish? just curious.
387
387
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Heart* Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion. *Reading*

*Flower4* What is the goal of the main Character? To beat the cancer in his body

*Gift1* What motivates that Character to continue to reach that goal? to live to see his grandson and be with his new extended family

*Balloon5* What conficts or situation are trying to prevent reaching the goal? Cancer was trying to shorten his life

*Balloon4* Resolution Mark chose to use his will to live and alternative methods to fight the cancer. His began to live his life and not just exsist in it

*Gift2* What I liked about the story It was positive and heart warming. As I am facing losing my father (81 yrs) I have a different outlook on life. While I love my life and his, I see that there are different goals for different people. These choices are what make up the diversity of this world.

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388
Review of Bumble Boy  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow! that was a powerful story! The psychological depth of the family was revealed in the daily interaction. Normal parents failing as some parents do. You could see the background of the parents just as you did the boys. The desire to excel and to be accepted was evident. Jonathan's feelings of inadiquacy and yet his love for his family. He loved his brother but at times hated him and was fearful of him. Bobby's closeness to his father and the conradarie that left jonathan out divided the three. Mother's fear of rejection and retribution from the father had her fearful of upsetting the statis quo. Then the ultimate fear rose and overcame Bobby causing the worst thing to happen. This is the classic Cain and Able story.
You have done a wonderful job on this story. I hope you submit it to some magazines for review.
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Review of The Accident  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very well written with good dialogue. There were a few times that I didn't figure out who the speaker was. Especially at the accident. I think you did a great job in discribing the events and the result. You used good action words and the Trucker's visit almost had me shedding a tear.
Great Job!
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390
Review of Trial  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow! a great story with a great ending. You did a wonderful job guiding the reader through the court case and keeping the interest height! I can see why you got honorable mention. In my books you should have won!
Great detail and plot structure. You had the goal and the motivation and the conflict all in place and your resolution was the one I was cheering for.
Great job!!
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Review of Trick or Treat  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good idea I hope it works. Nothing happened and there was an anticipation of something but it is like watching the Orkin commercials. You see the big bug at the door asking to come in and you see the Orkin man there with all his stuff and the bug driving away. Okay so Orkin rids you of pests. AND I care because???
She just told him go away Good bye Adios then nothing....did he leave? did he terrorize her? No ending.
I am guessing you had a 500 count word limit and that makes ending very difficult.
I understand. I like your ideas, your plots and how you think. I just wish you would take another two steps at the ending of your stories.
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a great story. Another one where I was entirely caught up in the story trying to figure the culprit. I secretly hoped I would not be disappointed and at the end it was great! You wrapped it up and with a twist that had me shaking my head. What a concept. You did an awesome job of setting the stage, drawing the reader away from any conclusion yet you had only two main characters so that left the victim and the purpatrator to be one of each. You had no other possiblilites in the story except a supposed bunch of kids we never saw. What a great ending. We felt sorry all around for everyone involved.
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very well written and a sad account. I am glad you came to terms with the abuse of your early life and was able to move on. I am sorry about the things that affected your personal life during this time and about the rape in school. I hope that you are able to tell your children that they are not accountable for the actions of others. You have shown this in your writing.
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
How short! I wanted more! Someday soon I will be taking the same journey ( I think) with my mother. I wanted to know what she said about you. I wanted to know how you handled siting there wirh her. I have seen The Notebook and have decided that while my mother has her faclities I am going to write her memories down. Your brief tale show me how important that is. I hope you came to terms with her ailment. You took me to the place and I followed you to the room and saw her there waiting. I felt your pain and sorrow.
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Review of Lovely Dementia  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
How wonderful
I was introduced to a woman who was loved and loved those around her. I felt bad that she had to care for an alcoholic husband and was a little confused when you made the comment that he didn't drink as they traveled. When did he become an abusive alcoholic?
Did they travel for his work? or was it pleasure? most times for businsess alcohol is served at every meal.
She seemed to love life and life loved her. The care and affection you give shows your love for her. I hope this account will keep her close in your heart.
I like your description of the room and him shivering under the trinkets. They were kind yet telling words of reality.
Thank you for that insight into the life of someone very dear to you
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396
Review of The Door  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart* Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion. *Reading*

*Flower4* What is the goal of the main Character? The boys were just spending the summer at Gram's. They heard unexplained music coming from the bedroom next to theirs.

*Gift1* What motivates that Character to continue to reach that goal? curiosity of the unknown, what was making the music?

*Balloon5* What conficts or situation are trying to prevent reaching the goal?The door was locked and the key hole only allowed limited visual of the room

You were trying to make the story scary or mysterious. I don't know if you had a word count limit, but you need to go into more detail. I would forget the cave reference as that really has nothing to do with the story. Tell more detail about the boys feelings, reactions and thoughts about the music. In the dark things seem more scary than in the day. Why didn't they just get the key the first time? Did the boy just discover it? Did they feel anything when they were in the room? You need to add these reactions to draw the reader into the story. I felt like I was an observer. I wasn't scared, intrigued, or curious. When I was done it was a "nice story." Is that what you want?

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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Amazing!! I am afraid to even attempt to write a reivew about this subject. I may have my own editor screaming in my ear. "This piece is perfect. What are you going to say about it?"
You have written it beautifully and caught the inner most fears and arrogant thoughts we writers dream. To aspire to that podium where an awestruck, would be storteller asks: "How did you come to write so good?" We smile and say, "Just keep writing." there went that dream.
You have that ability to become that writer!
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Their faces obscured by veils, they were a threat to me and to the Kingdom! I knew what to do. how did "I" know this? Did the red robes represent their statis? you didn't tell us how he knew they were bad guys.
I fired off a second spell towards the other guard. if he knew spells that could kill, render helpless, why would he need a sword and have it drawn? Most magicians wouldn't encumber themselves with weapons if their own weapons were stronger like magic
The first fell to my sword’s magic sharpened blade you didn't state in the previous paragraph that he USED the sword to make the magic. that would have given a clue. You just said the light leaped from his hand.
Derant teased teased is something playful in a relaxed atmosphere. you might want to use" taunted with a smile" instead.
large balls of lightning lightening is not usually thought of in "balls" have you seen a "ball" of lightening? they flash in sheets, bolts, thin daggers, but not balls
What I liked You were very discriptive and had good set up with suspense. You led the reader through the action without leaving them lost behind you. I felt I was right there with Mason.
I question the reference and setting. This seems to be a mythical place where swords and magic are the theme. Your speach and style show modern terminology. If you are in another time, make the thoughts and speach fit the time. If Mason is from the present, you need to establish that at the beginning. From where was he sent? that might let the reader know he can time travel.
Very good action!
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Review of Blinded!  Open in new Window.
Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Again, what can I say??? If there were grammar errors I missed them because I was either laughing or in awe of the visual picture you painted. You have a wonderful stly of writing that I admire.
I really wish you would write a longer verison of the Abermathy story and this one. I a guessing you had to keep to a word count, but there is a contest that just started (runs until Aug) with no prompts that you could expand your stories.
Character, dialogue and discriptions are in the bag for you! Great Job!!
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Review by Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow I liked this one too. Not as well defined characters as the Abernathy, but I loved the plot and how it ended. I liked that she was so careful and was trying to recruit Buck; never suspecting what he had in store for her.
I can't say much more because there really wasn't anything I didn't like. So even though the review has few words they hold great praise.
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