NO ROOM IN THE BATHROOM

Writer's Cramp Contest Entry

Prompt:  write a poem or story entitled: No Room in the Bathroom. Write about a member of the family who tells it like it is: his/her problem – only one bathroom for a whole large family.

NO ROOM IN THE BATHROOM

Dear husband of mine --
My true Love divine,
Sorrow has crinkled my brow.
For I trot to the loo,
To do what I do,
And find I’m constricted somehow.

In such a tight place,
There isn’t much space,
I'm sure there was once more than that.
For the life of my mother,
I cannot uncover,
Why now I can’t sit where I’ve sat.

Olivia, my sweet --
With quaint little feet,
I’m grieved that you suffer this way.
The house is no taller,
And bathroom no smaller,
Than when we first came here to stay.

But, Henry for sure,
You’re being demure,
Of course you have seen as I do--
When I get to the pot,
Preparing to squat,
My knees rub the tub, not true?

Dear Mother that spawned,
Six girls and one son,
I pray no assault to your ear.
‘Tis not only your knees,
That have grown by degrees,
But your top and your middle, and rear.

Now listen you coot!
You wretched old brute --
A litter I’ve born lyin' beside ‘ya.
Your money’s not squandered
Your shirts are all laundered
Now build me a bathroom that’s wid'a!!

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