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 |   My thoughts/experiences/feelings/beliefs, depending on my mood. Blah, blah, blog. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  Winner of "Best Blog of 2011" for "The Quills"  . Previous winner of "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Round 1. A big, heartfelt thank-you to all of my fans and supporters!  Welcome to the randomness, silliness, craziness, and all-around tomfoolery ā what a great word that isn't used nearly enough ā that is my blog. Don't get me wrong, it isn't always silly and crazy. Sometimes it's serious or sad but, more often than not, it's comical. Nonetheless, it is always entertaining. I try to see the fun in life. I'll add to it as much as I can so make sure you check back often.  Feel free to leave a comment or review to let me know you stopped by.  DISCLAIMER: If you are someone who gets offended easily, then you shouldn't go any further. I'm up-front, to-the-point, sarcastic and honest (sometimes brutally so). I tell it like it is, or the way I think it is. If you don't get offended very easily, then you've come to the right blog. All are welcome. The fun is free! My life is an open book blog. Hilarity and chaos ensue... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
Day 24 Prompt for the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : Open mic night prompt. Write about whatever you want. All I ask is that you have fun with it. Enjoy!Sorry Iāve been MIA for a few days, folks. Some of you know that my aunt passed away. For those that have sent me their condolences, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. It really does mean a lot.  Also, while Brother Nature  was away, I was sending out the daily prompts for him. I know I was eliminated from the challenge so it doesnāt really count, but I didnāt feel right writing about the prompts that I sent out. I felt like I had an unfair advantage or something. I know Iām being ridiculous, but there you have it.  Now on to the open prompt. I sent this one out, too, and I know Iām late on writing about since itās 12:01AM now. Itās already too late for day 24, but itās been a rough couple of days. Brace yourselves, boys and girls, because Iām about to go on a rant. Most of you know that I have an older brother. He lives in Germany. Heās one of the greatest people Iāve ever known. Despite the distance, we are still very close. We talk just about every day, either via e-mail or Facebook messenger, and then we Skype on weekends whenever possible. I was in Germany for Christmas. It was so good to spend the holidays with my family, itās always so hard to leave, though, especially my nieces. God, I love them all so much. I also have another brother, Chuck. Heās the oldest. No one knows where he is. He decided years ago that he wanted nothing to do with our family and cut everyone off. Thatās a shame because heās missing out on a lot. Heās never met his 3 nieces. He has no idea that Iām divorced. He never even showed up to our grandmotherās funeral several years ago. He knew she died. I made sure he knew because I didnāt want that on my conscience. Just a little bit of backstory, he and his witch ā I mean, wife (Freudian slip) ā stole from my grandparents. Fast forward to current day. With the passing of my aunt, I, once again, find myself in a position where I feel the need to track him down to tell him. I simply donāt want it on my conscience that he doesnāt know about her passing. It was a bit easier when our grandmother passed away years ago because he still had the same cell phone # that he has always had. Thatās no longer the case. Heās also no longer living at the last known address I have for him. I made the decision to pay to track him down. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE from my roommate to my āgoodā brother to Chris to any other friends Iāve told have tried talking me out of it. I justā¦couldnāt. I donāt know if itās guilt or some sense of feeling that I need to try to bring the family back together, or maybe itās that I donāt want to disappoint my parents (God rest their souls). I donāt know. I canāt quite explain it. Suffice it to say, I felt compelled to make an attempt to track him down. I found him, sort of. I got an address and a phone number. Unfortunately, the phone number was no longer his, either. I donāt know if the address is accurate. I can only assume it is. Itās pretty far, though, so itās not like I can just drive over there and knock on the door or something. In addition to finding his address and phone, the place also found some additional information on him. They found 10+ criminal records. There were a bunch of traffic violations, which I could care less about. My problem has to do with the arrest records. Those records I couldnāt access unless I shelled out more money. I spent enough trying to track him down. I didnāt want to spend any more money, especially considering what it was that Iād be buying. Letās face it, itās not like Iād be buying peace of mind. If I had paid the extra money to see what heās been arrested for over the years, Iād never be able to unsee that. Does that make any sense? Am I surprised that heās been arrested several times? Yes and no. No, because if he could steal from our own grandparents (who did NOT press charges or report him to the authorities), that sadly speaks to the type of person he turned out to be. Yes, because thatās not the brother I grew up with. Thatās not the brother I looked up to. Thatās not the brother that I idolized and followed around like a puppy dog. We were raised so much better than that. Iāve been through a lot of shit in my life. I have made my fair share of mistakes. Everyone does. But I can honestly say that I have never been more disappointed in anyone in my life as I am with my brother. You have no idea how much it hurts me to say that. I am absolutely heartbroken. All I keep thinking is how my poor parents must be rolling over in their graves. I just noticed that I mentioned earlier that I started writing this entry at 12:01AM and itās now 1:23AM. Iām having a hard time writing this. I keep deleting what Iāve typed. Iām also having this internal struggle as to whether or not I should write this at all, but I needed to vent or Iād explode. Iām beside myself. I really am.  Music, Music, Music  Iām done my rant for today. Sorry about that. Iāll leave you with this song. Itās dedicated to my oldest brother, who was once my hero. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] And hereās another one for him. We share a mother and a father, but we couldnāt possibly be more different, obviously.  [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] |
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