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getting to the age where I can blame eccentricity or senility for anything that offends... |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Blog city is a wonderful place with friendly neighbours who accept my idiosyncrasies. Some will shudder at my style of writing as it is without apology, grammatically and politically incorrect.. My thoughts, opinions and bouts of madness are displayed for all to see - warts and all (even pimples and scar tissue for those who look closely). If you are a do-gooder or someone who turns the other cheek, look elsewhere. I’m giving honesty, trust and a piece of my mind. |
Like most people I think the characterisation is what holds me to a story. Being able to connect to a character, connects you to the story, adventures, place, time etc. This allows the reader to lose themself into being a voyeur to another life, without the responsibility of having to contribute. Besides the lurid sex scenes I force my self to read on occassion, (not too often because after the excitements worn off and the heat has gone, I feel depressed) I read mainly to escape. An open book is really a portel to another place. While reading I see and hear nothing around me and know, should anyone actually be close by, they will, under the threat of being staked in the heart, accept my invisibility. However the one thread that runs consistently through my reading choices - Good beats evil. In this day and age I need this basic need reinforced. Connecting with a character isn't always about relating to them, after all some appeal because they are very different to you. There are a myriad of reasons why we connect with some characters and not others. Some of the lead female character in romance books frustrate me (not for that reason), because they come across as stupid or self-centred. Female readers are not going to connect or relate to such a poor character, regardless of their own deficiencies. I want reality softened by fiction, so that people similar to a books characters may be hard to find in my day to day life, but are prolific in my own imagination and day dreams. Characterisation is the catch key to the success of a book. In Autobiographies it is not the fame of the person which dictates it's readability or success. These rely on the authors ability to evoke the feeling of a trusted friendship where they intimately confide in the reader and use components of their own personality in an effort to conect to the reader. I believe Lee Child's Jack Reacher is the epitome of a writer's dream character. Like Harry Potter, you say the name Reacher and the author is secondry. Hundreds of thousands of readers know Jack Reacher intimately, becausethey have travelled on the buses across America with him, seen places through his eyes and shared experiences, good and bad. Not perfect, but a good man with solid values and human frailties who deals with whatever life throws at him. Readers like Jack, they care and at the end of one book, they can't wait for another. As I said, a writer's dream character. However that kind of relationship between character and reader has a drawback. Reacher has become so familiar and each year is existence in our lives is strengthened. He is like a distant relation, who we don't see a lot of, but know and love. We know what he looks like, we know his strengths and his weaknesses, all thanks to the author. Why do I feel then that Lee Child's has dishonoured the character, and has for many effectively killed off the Jack Reacher his thousands of fans have come to know and respect. By selecting Tom Cruise to pla the role of a six foot plus ex MP and maintaining Reacher's characteristics and idiosyncracies is farcical. To retain any credible ties with the books is Mission Impossible I think. So they will make the film and adjust the character to fit Cruise. As I travel a lot, we have all the Reacher Audio Books which we listen to instead of the car radio. The dramatisation underlines the character, not detracts as will happen with the wrong actor. Will my disappointment with the authors decision (supposedly based on his wanting a top grade actor who will attract bums to seats) effect my willingness to read any further books by Lee Childs? I really don't know. Will I go and see the movie? No. Jack Reacher's character is honest, has integrity and would never sell out for money or allow a half-assed pretty boy to take his seat on the bus. Jack was pefect for the book but not good enough for the author to maintain intergrity with a film. It's lke loving your child as long as no one can see them and then going for cosmetic surgery for social acceptance. RIP Jack Reacher. Introducing Tom Cruise AKA Jack Preacher. |
| Every adult should have a Will. Not something jotted down on a piece of paper. A will is a legal document and as such needs to be prepared in such a manner as to ensure that your exact wishes regarding the dispersal of you assets are met. All scenario's must be allowed for, no matter how repugnant the thought.e.g. Who do you want to take care of your children if both you and your spouse die at the same time? Wills must be updated whenever there is a change of circumstances ie Marriage, Divorce, Superannuation values change dramatically, the death of a benificiary or the birth or adption of a child. Ensure the Will is worded in such a manner that there can be no misinterpretation. Every country has strict regulations regarding whether a will is legal or not. These laws also vary State to State. Any anomaly in a legal document needs to be amended with the signature(s) of those responsible. You don't get that second chance with a will. The simplest of errors can make the will null and void and severely affect your loved ones from receiving what you wish them to have. Where there is no Will, or what exists is deemed to be invalid, can be unnecessarily costly to have sorted out - usually by the courts. The last thing a grieving family needs is the stress of uncertainty. Better to pay a small fee to have your Will prepared legally than to have your family have to pay much more to contest the legality of your Will based on the integrity of your requests. To not have a Will is negligent, especially where there are children and/or assets involved. |
| It has been a month since my last blog entry. Two weeks of preparing the house for sale and two weeks in one of the most beautiful places in Australia. The town of Bright is situated in the low valley of the snow fields. It has it's Autumn festival on at the moment and a more beautiful vision of Autumn would be hard to find. The weather was glorious until today when the rain crept over the mountains to help wash away the autumn droppings. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** However, it was a good day for cooking so I turned out a few pasties for lunch tomorrow and Shepherds pie for dinner tonight. Tomorrow is our last day here and I don't want to waste a moment of it. Once I'm back to help pack up the multitude of possessions that accumulate in a man's shed I have the feeling I will be looking forward to WDC as a means of escape. |
| Dorrie passed away on Thursday the 22nd of March, 2012 the day after my last entry. That last night was one of the saddest and, for me, life changing, but that is another story. In the morning as I prepared to leave and have her daughter take my place, I heard what I knew was the first sign of our prayers being answered. The time between each breath was longer and there was the beginnings of a rattle with each exhalation. Dorrie wakened for a few moments and I offered her a spoon of thick orange juice which she took . I told her I would not be coming back that night because she had a date with her late husband, and he would be the one holding her hand. After placing a kiss on her forehead, I watched her eyes close and somehow knew would never see them open again, and while I regreted being unable to see those beautiful, honest blue eyes, this regret was tempered by knowing they would never again reflect pain. That afternoon her son, who had the afternoon Dorrie Watch, phoned me to get the family to the hospital as the rattle had worsened and staff had acknowledged that her time was close. Four of us arrived at 4.30 pm to find Pallative Care had provided a trolley with coffee, tea, juice and biscuits, to make the waiting more comfortable. This addition was greatly appreciated. At 5.35 with her two children on either side, holding her hands, we knew these were those once feared, but now prayed for, final moments. The niece that made up the fourth member of our little group downloaded Leanne Rimes singing Amazing Grace (one of Dorrie's chosen funeral songs) on to her phone (I recommend this version to all). With that wonderful song playing Dorrie took her final breath at 5.40 pm and passed into the arms of the Jesus she strongly believed in. As the proxy daughter in law, I offered my support to the family in any practical way I could. Being given the task of designing the funeral handout card and do a Power point display of Dorries life, was an honour and I took it seriously. Alas on the morning of the funeral, I had a severe panic attack and her son Barry had an appointment with a Surgeon re a melanoma on the ear, but these were incidental. The funeral was a small event. She was the last of her family and most friends had already passed. Afterwards some of the attendee's gathered at a local cafe for afternoon tea and some reminiscing. That evening, twelve of us met for dinner. A final toast to Dorrie brought a perfect end to what had been a better day than expected. Son and daughter agreed that the day turned out to be nothing like they had feared. This was in large part due to the ministering of the undertaker in preparing Dorrie for the viewing. The sight of her last moments were cleansed from our memories. Dorrie looked amazing and so this will be our last vision of her. One of beauty and peace for eternity. "Old age is a myth. Old bodies are the reality."(Over Analysing by Suu Casey Young) The funeral is over but there is still much to be done. For Dorrie's daughter it is a difficult time as she is not ready to have Dorrie's house emptied and ready for sale. Not ready for packing of clothes and removal of furniture to the shed, so she can later choose what she wishes to retain. Barry on the other hand says he needs to finalise everything so he can move on. Me? My role is to support Barry but, as I have learnt these past couple of weeks, we all grieve differently and that grief must be acknowledged. Everything will work out and they will carry the memories of a wonderful mother with them through life, without the weight and darkness of these past weeks. As I bring to close the entries relating to this wonderful woman I am reminded that people come into our life's for a reason. "The elderly are the true and honest records of history. Every ordinary life is part of the foundation of extraordinary events. True history is not about wars, leaders or notoriety; it is about how ordinary people lived and died, traditionally or as part of change lifestyles or environment. Each individual, by there very existence, is a part of family and community history." (Over Analysing by Suu Casey Young) So it was with Doris. She touched the hearts and minds of everyone she met and her wisdom came in a soft suggestion or a moment of wondering aloud. No matter how she did it, those present always left with food for thought or a different perspective of their former black or white view. She was everything I am not; a quiet grace, a woman of few words, proud gardener and only kind words spoken. Through Billy Graham in 1957 Dorrie became a woman of strong faith,but she never preached or pushed her views on anyone. On the funeral card I chose a quote from Lousa M Alcott's 'Little Women'. "Simple, sincere people seldom speak much of their piety. It shows itself in acts rather than words, and has more influence than homilies and protestations." Dorrie epitomised these words in the strength of her faith and the way she lived her life. How blessed were we to know her and how could we do anything else but love her. A final quote from the funeral card. "How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way." (Anonymous) |
| I have never been a supporter of Euthenasia believing that there will need to be some very strict checks and balances for it's use. Sadly society is becoming more malicious, greedy and self serving, and too willing to gain either property or insurance without the legal 'shove off'. Cynical as I am, I believe that money will cross palms to aid in the abuse of any euthenasia legislation. However, having spent all of the last four evenings sitting beside 93 year old Doris, who is in the last stages of Cancer, I have given the matter a lot of thought. How easy it is to take a stand from a distance. When the distance is narrowed to family and loved ones, it is a different perspective entirely. 93 years and 7 months of reasonable health and independence, including still retaining a driving licence, Dorrie was tough. Our favourite word for her was stoic. Over the last three weeks I have seen this strong independent and mobile woman become a skeleton who cannot speak or eat, and relies on others to change her 'nappy' and give bed baths. Unable to move her head or her eyes, she looks straight ahead. Her breathing is erratic, she has no control over her limbs or bowels. Last night if a doctor had came in and asked if he should 'assist' her passing, family would have accepted without a second thought. For this still proud woman, having her 'private parts' seen and handled by strangers is mortifying. Intense pain is the only thing that causes a reaction in her dull , almost unseeing eyes. Humiliation is no less painful than the physical pain. So it is that I see the pain of each 'caring' action reflected in those blue eyes than no longer shine with joy , but with unshed tears. I still believe Euthenasia will need to be strictly governed but after another 13 hours holding Doris's frail hand, I cannot argue with those who want to die with dignity but instead will die being treated like a young baby. Tonight I may have another night to reflect on this subject, but I can only pray that Doris will be with family who have passed and not need me to hold her hand. Not for my sake, but because she was ever a loving, caring woman who gave so much and has been poorly rewarded by the indignity of the process of her death. |
| My writing has come to a complete stop. The muse is tired and so am I. Not from overwork or strenous exercise, nothing physical at all. Tired of smiling in the face of adversity, tired because sleep needs the brains cooperation and tired beause my dietery needs are not being met. All self induced problems generated by the impact one person has on a life. Doris is dying - as we all are - but she knows roughly when, and it is going to be soon. At least three lives are in a holding pattern as we circle above the patient in a holding pattern, burning up fuel, praying we will all land safely. It doesn't matter if you are religious or not, prayer is an amazing stress reliever. If you believe, then you are handing over the reins to someone with whom you have faith, trust and a knowing that you and the patient are in loving hands. If you don't believe, just the act of being free to honestly voice aloud your fears, concerns and recognise that thinking selfish thoughts is okay. You may still feel some guilt because of the occassional resentment at having plans made months ago having to be cancelled. Perhaps you are the one doing most of the work, or the one that feels they should be doing more or the one who wants to bury their head in the sand and make out it's lall not happening. Our coping methods are as individual as we are. Even now I am being pulled away because every minute with her is precious and I don't want to waste it. I can choose to say that unlike her I have my tomorrows to do what I love, but that is an assumtion only. Tomorrows don't come with guarantees, that is why we should make everyday the best it can be. For today and however many tomorrows there will be I owe it to my sense of what is right, respect and love to make it the best day it can be for Doris because that is the only way I can feel that I have made the today the best for me. |
I'm sure you have all experienced at some time what is commonly referred to as 'a run of bad luck'. I am surprised at the number of people who having two negative things happen, anxiously await a third. "They always come in three's" I am told. Whether 'they' are accidents, incidents or deaths there is almost an expectation that the third will happen. One of my Aunties is so convinced of the theory ,that should she experience or know of only two such occurences, will contact all the family until she finds something that has happened somewhere. With total relief she will accept this as being the third and therefore last of the ill winds delivery. I have a different theory all together and because it lacks the same degree of evidence as the above, I am not in a position to be snide or belittle those who give power to the number three. A cousin was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Within hours of the diagnosis, there was an all out hunt to find the other two family members who are suffering from some unforeseen burden. The philosophy which gives me comfort, is that by thinking only positive thoughts, positive things will happen. Of course the downside of this is, think negatively and you are subconsciously calling for or attracting negative things and therein lies the belief of three wrongs being right. I have no idea of the validity of such thoughts or practices but the placebo theory certainly has proven that believe and it is so. I could adopt the theory of three within my positive philosophy and expect good things in threes but, why should I limit the number of good or happy events in my life to such a small grouping. My philosophy cannot fail. If it is not bad, it is therefore good, if it is not good it could be worse and if it is a dire or terminal situation, then I have been blessed by having it so good up until then. Now for a confession. Last year there was niece that broke her arm and a second cousin broke his leg. When I got the phone call telling me all about it, the caller wondered who could be next. Without hesitation I admitted that I had broken a toe without telling her I had been nine at the time. Everyone was so happy. I wasn't asked details for in the scheme of things they were irrelevant. The reliable three events had been tied up and so life would run smoothly for all until the next event. However, while helping them maintain their belief in the power of three, I managed to prove my own theory of attraction. Within three days I broke a toe. This was a positive because I had proven my theory, had helped the family and learnt and damn good lesson. |
| The title sounds rather dramatic but it is the reality of my could be Mother in Law who is the most amazing 93 year old I have met. Although in my own 61 years I haven't met many that age, I see many younger people with which to compare, and she stands out for her energy, love of life, intelligence, compassion and faith. Her memory is phenomenal, she still drives, is a great cook and knows her world politics. Actually, I should use the past tense in most of the above. Not because she has passed on, but because two weeks before Christmas she was told that she had incurable cancer. Since then the sparkle and energy have left with the weight, leaving us with a beautiful person who wants nature to take it's course, but hopes God will bless her with little pain and few days. Her son and I had commenced our trip to travel around Australia knowing that we could be called home anytime for his Mum's natural passing. Cancer, as it does all who get it, came as a shock. She told me she had known that at her age she had much to be thankful for and knew that each day was a blessing. However being told a time frame of three to six months completely shattered her. Until that day when she was told of the malignancy, she lived each day knowing she could die, but never thinking about it. Now she sits and waits for it and is withdrawing more and more from the family interaction. The beautiful smile is now a rare lift of the corners of her mouth. The eyes are of someone who is very tired and while she is still gracious and verbalizes appreciation for any little thing that is done for her, it is habit not involvement. There is no desire to leave the house and if it weren't for bathroom needs, there would be little to no activity at all. She is waiting to die and while her faith keeps any fear at bay, it does not make the time go quicker or stop another day of wanting it all to be over. While trying to maintain a normalcy by keeping up the daily household activities, watching and cheering on our sports teams by her side, there is no normality. Her quick wit and humour are sadly missed and none of us can replace it. No matter how busy I keep myself, I am starting to feel the burden of my partner and his sister as they exchange eye contact. Unspoken messages of helplessness. At this time I cannot think of anything worse than watching a loved one die. Pain is relative. While this dear woman is in little physical pain, the mental torment is visible and all we can do is wait. |
| I could not believe that it is a month since I wrote my last blog....but a lot has happened in that time and my life is a little upside down at the moment so it could be another week or two before I can get my thoughts together. Hopefully it will be something uplifting. |
| There is something I want to say that's more important than me and how I feel......DON'T FORGET OUR TROOPS OVERSEAS. }Check out A cup of joe for a joe For $2 you can buy a cup of coffee for one of the troops. You will get a personal response such as this. A Service Member wants to thank you for sending them a Cup of Joe! Cup of Joe #1 Your message and gift of a CUP OF JOE was delivered to a Service Member serving at Alamo in Afghanistan. They wanted to say thanks and make sure you knew your gift was received. Please see below for their note to you: Sue, Thank you very much indeed for your kind message and your cup of joe. I am actually a British Officer, working with the Americans and the Australians which is a great pleasure. I hope you have a wonderful time in Australia. Your travels sound like a real adventure and a great way to feel free. With many thanks and best wishes for the holiday season. Roddy Christie $2 is bugger all and $10 will see 5 individuals know that we at home are thinking of them. Also SEND A PARCEL TO AN OVERSEAS SERVICE PERSON. They're giving their life...what are you doing to make your life worth saving? |
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