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 |  Re-dedicated - April 1, 2021, Brother Nature's views from the Winnipeg River SE Manitoba |
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My Writing.com experience continues...30 Day Blog Challenger, Andre the blog Monkey's Banana Bar Founder, Aging Baby Boomer. Here you'll find a warm welcome, maybe I'll make you laugh out loud - That's my goal. Thanks for visiting. |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 28, 2018, 30DBC Prompt If you could create your very own monster, what would it look like? What would it be called? What types of things would it do to scare people? Where does the monster live? Tell me everything there is to know about your monster. Ah yes, the dreaded mock monster, it can be my best buddy or my worst nightmare. It's an angry beast the color of mustard. Its eyes are made of spaghetti and meatballs, it has a wide mouth with razor-sharp teeth, and it has no nose. It ain't got no nose man! It can smell fear though. The dreaded mock monster has dried out crusty hair all over its short stumpy body; It sometimes likes to wear multi-colored ribbons in its hair and to put on lipstick to avoid recognition. You can always tell when you're dealing with a mock monster though... You know the old saying, "You can't put lipstick on a mock monster." Mock monsters live in peoples hearts. Some mock monsters are pretty cool and fun to have around, but others are purely evil. Don't take a mock monster too lightly, they can get pretty nasty, sarcasm is one of their favorite weapons. The evil ones like to berate you into submission then, with their razor sharp teeth, eat your heart out. I'm not lying. Look! I drew I mean took a picture of one. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada  |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 27, 2018, 30DBC Prompt Kelly Osbourne was born in 1984 today. Write a pitch for your own talk show- what would you talk about? Whom would you invite to interview? I'm still wearing clothes I purchased in 1984! I've been a longtime follower of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, which is now hosted by Trevor Noah. I like the show because it applies a satirical edge to the daily world news and the local (USA) news. When it comes to the news (these days) it's better to laugh than to cry I say. So my show would be the same as the Daily Show except for my show would be centered around the local Canadian news, post-legalization of cannabis. The set would be a huge green screen, to enable a lot of graphics and art-filled segues. The heart of the show, like the Daily Show, would be in it's writing staff. You need a few creative people with sick senses of humor to put out a funny show, even though the government is a prolific supplier of satirical content, some of which you don't even have to edit to make funny. I'd have a smokin' hot house band called the Smokin' Hot House Band, as well as a musical guest. There would be one special guest for each show, who would be made to do ridiculous things surrounding the smoking of cannabis. Political figures and Government officials would be required to smoke from the bong of truth prior to being interviewed. I just thought of having a segment where a guest who is promoting a book, for example, would be made to sell their book to a Canadian who is about to purchase pot. The book author would have to talk the person into spending their money on their book rather than buying pot with the money. There's a lot of potential here. Who's with me? Wanna write a Canadian based comedy news show with me? Wait a minute! I should start the show in the Banana Bar! Andre the Blog Monkey is on his way back to the bar. He's hired a medium, Ma'dman Bovine, she's expected to perform a spiritually cleansing seance in the bar Halloween night. Once the spirit of MOLLY MUGGINGSWORTH has been exorcized, I can re-purpose a portion of the bar-room for a studio. Gotta run. I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 26, 2018, 30DBC Prompt Hillary Clinton turns 70 today! Wish her a happy birthday (if you're so inclined) and write up a candidacy speech for your own head of government campaign. Friends, Are you tired of living in the past? Would you like to do something in the future? Isn't it ABOUT time YOU did YOU? Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just live in peace? Are you sick of being assaulted by an endless series of patronizing questions? Did you think I was going to stop just then? I wasn't! I think it's time we have a new political party take leadership in our country, and I happen to be the leader of 'said' political party. It would be so easy for me to stand here and tell you all the things you want to hear. It would be so easy for me to stand here and, make up a bunch of lies in order to win your vote. It would be so easy for me to stand here and sling mud at my political challengers to smear their image. So... I'd like to get started. Folks, it's simple, if you want fresh air, food, water, a place to live, and a good place too, not some fleabag hotel room in a one-horse town. If you want money, lots and lots of money, if you want to have the time to do what you want when you want to do it, then you owe it to yourself, you may even owe it to your great-great-grandchildren to go down to your nearest polling station and cast your vote for me. And jobs! Jobs! Jobs, jobs, JOBS! I promise ... I PROMISE ... ... If I'm elected. No more jobs. I promise. My opponents won't give you free healthcare, including dental and eye care, they won't give interest-free loans, they won't give you free legalized marijuana, including edibles, they won't give you free beer, they're probably drinking it all to themselves, while we're all here. We're all here folks. ... ... making a difference! Making a fucking difference someone shouted. The speech ends with the candidate doing fists pumps while a rowdy chant from the crowd builds. MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 25, 2018, 30DBC Prompt On October 25, 1616, the Dutch discovered Australia. Write a journal entry as one of the explorers October 25, 1616 As we approached land we could see that there were already people living on the land. I asked the captain if there would be a landing party sent ahead of the big ship to meet the people and ensure that we will be welcomed. "No, we'll just kill them all, it's way easier" That's why he's captain I guess. I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 24, 2018, 30DBC Prompt Today in History: The first football team formed in Sheffield, England. Make up your own sport and tell us how it's played. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The thing is... When they say 'football' over there in England, what they really mean is soccer. That's a game changer! In North, America football is a completely different game from what they/we call football/soccer in Europe. One big difference is... part of being a football player is the ability to hurl crude yet humorous insults towards soccer players. I've been giving a lot of thought to making up my own sport lately. I just spent my first season working on the maintenance crew on an 18 hole golf course. I learned a lot about how the maintenance of the course affects the gameplay. On my first day, I learned how to change *pin placements. Changing pin placements is basically relocating the **cup to a different spot on the ***green. I learned that we have to change pin placements on every hole of the golf course almost every day. We do this mainly because if we left the cup in the same spot...the golfers would kill the grass on the green in the form of a path towards the cup, so we move the cup around the green. It also changes the game for the golfers who play the same course every fucking day as if they owned the place. Oh yeah, changing pin placements involves pulling the cup up out of the ground - digging a new hole to move the cup into - changing the flag to a different color flag - then inserting the plug dug up from the new hole into the old hole, so the green isn't all full of holes. And all 18 holes of the golf course have to have the pin placements changed before the golfers come to play. We're kinda like the fucken Easter Bunny for golfers. So this made me think... Why would we go through all this trouble to move the pin placements around every day? Why not just have five or six holes to hit your little white ball into on every green. You just have to aim your shot towards whichever cup your ball lands closest to. Wanna change it up? Aim for the cup which is furthest away. Nobody treads a path to any one hole in the ground. Win - Win. Now that I've made golf and the working conditions so much better, what more can I do to improve the ****sport? There are sand bunkers and bodies of water on the course called traps. (You don't want to shoot your ball into a trap) Sand and water pppfffft, I can come up with better traps than that AND improve the working conditions at the same time. But first, inspired by the sixteenth hole at Pinawa Golf and Country Club, where there is no trap; that's right, not a single *****hazard. That's so nice, I thought. A hole where there is no jeopardy; no worries about adding strokes to your game; no worries about losing your little white ball, which we find when you're not there, that's right, while you're in bed sleeping because the sun hasn't quite risen yet, we're out on the golf course moving the pin placements and finding your little white balls, and some of them are expensive too. Like the Pro V1s $9.00 ea and we're not giving them back. There's no 'lost & found' in golf! I have a five-gallon pail filled with golfballs because I'm the fucken Easter Bunny. Okay... Where was I? Oh yeah, that's nice - no jeopardy. I can do that. I would have a hole on my course where there was no jeopardy; no stress; no worries; no hazards; no pressure; no water; no sand; no green; not even a hole to have to sink your little white ball into... You just tee up your little white ball and let 'er rip. Doesn't matter if the ball travels 300 yards or 3 feet. You just pack up your gear and walk away. Congratulations! You just got a HOLE in ONE! You Win! Game over! Go home, tell your friends! We have a problem with wildlife on the golf course. Canadian Geese like to congregate on the course which is a bit of a nuisance, but a more serious concern are the black bears (which actually belong there, not groups of people hitting little balls around in the woods.) So... Hole 3 would be a par 3. It would be 75 yards to the green. Your first shot would have to travel over the bear cage in the center of the fairway, so it lands on or near the green, to set you up for your next shot. The bear cage is filled with bears relocated from other parts of the course. There is no way around the cage, there are two doors on the cage, after making your first shot, golfers simply have to walk through the near door of the bear cage, walk across the cage, then exit through the far door of the cage, then continue on with their game. The caged bears will be fed a couple times during the day, which will make it easier, for golfers who arrive later in the day, to pass through the cage. Don't worry if you don't make it through the cage... we will find your ball. I'm going to stop right here. This is a fun exercise, and I could probably design thousands of variances on the game of golf, but then this entry would take too long to read. Like the game of golf takes too long to play. Alright, I'll do one more... I would make a change to the scoring so that... if a golfer shoots a ball out of bounds... game over - you lose - go home. Don't worry we'll find your ball. The Fucken Easter Bunny  BLOG * The pin is a flagpole which stands in the **cup. It's what you want to aim for in order get your little white ball into the very far away tiny hole in the ground. ** The hole that you sink your ball into is fitted with a plastic cup, there is a small hole in the bottom center of the cup, which holds the pin. *** Surely you know what the green is, let's move on. **** If you can even call it that! What kind of a sport allows you to drink beer all day while driving around a park? ***** A nasty place on the golf course. BLOG I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 23, 2018, 30DBC Prompt Choose a Famous Birthday for today and tell us why you think they should be celebrated. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** John William Carson was an American television host, comedian, writer, and producer. He is best known as the host of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carson received six Emmy Awards, the Television Academy's 1980 Governor's Award, and a 1985 Peabody Award. Wikipedia Born: October 23, 1925, Corning, Iowa, United States Died: January 23, 2005, Los Angeles, California, United States I'm choosing Johnny Carson for my mother. Mom loved Johnny, she watched the 'Tonight Show' every night before she would go to bed. The 'Tonight Show' ran from 1962–1992, I bet mom saw every show. In the nineteen-eighties, mom began to find it difficult to stay awake past 10:00 PM thankfully the VCR came along and solved mom's dilemma. Mom set her VCR to record the tonight show every night, and if she fell asleep she could play back whatever she missed the next day. This worked well for a long time. Whenever anyone went to visit mom, she might share with them something she had recorded from an installment of the show. Mom knew the things that people liked, for example, she knew what sports teams you followed or what musicians you enjoyed, she knew which comedians I liked and that sort of thing. So regardless of who it was, at some point during your visit you were going to be watching something she recorded on the Johnny Carson show. After some time it was noticed that mom had quite a few VCR tapes, all carefully labeled with dates, guest lists, and notes. "You can record over a recording mom, did you know that?" "I know that I don't want to" Mom snaps back. Mom amassed 10 or 12 boxes of VCR tapes. She had two full cabinets and two closets filled to capacity. Long story short... I became our family's VCR tape collection recipient after mom's passing. One day I'll connect an old VRC to an old TV set and watch 'The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson' every night before, go to bed. Thanks Mom. I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 22, 2018, 30DBC Prompt In 1964 today, Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre won the Nobel Prize for Literature and turned it down. Make up a reason why. Dear Noble Prize Tab ur nac! I 'ave to in form you, dat I can not axe sept dis a ward for literature do to da fact dat I mose lee made up dose books dat I wrote. Ex special lee dat one 'The Devil and the Good Lord' - total bull shit, hif I am be een on ist. And dat book I wrote... 'The Family Idiot' was mose lee just store ees ha bout my drunk huncle dat I made up. Hit was a pretty fun ee one too. My hant eee piss er pants at some of dose store ees. Also, I ave nuth een to wear, be sides my old clothes from da war. Any ow... my name is too long to fit on da cheque even hif dare was a place called Sweed den. Tank you - Merci Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 21, 2018, 30DBC Prompt We'll be focusing on history this week! On this day (October 21) in 1949- Aldous Huxley writes George Orwell to congratulate him on the novel, 1984. If you were dictator of the world, what would you do?  I could have listed '1984 by George Orwell' as one of my favorite books back when we had the favorite books list blog prompt. I actually read it in January of 1984. As you are aware I am dictator of the world. I've already implemented the necessary changes to save and then destroy the entire planet. I have to confess that I made these changes quite some time ago, and the planet has yet to be either saved or destroyed. Sadly it's leaning more to destruction than salvation. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask some of you to leave. Just kidding! Y'all can stay. for now Hey! I thought we were going to be focusing on history this week. I'm a little out of focus here. 1984 The book by George Orwell - Published in the past - 1949. Written about the future - 1984. Read in the present - 1984. Mind = blown. I'm finding it difficult to concentrate. If history has a way of repeating itself, then why is the future so uncertain? If history never repeats, then why do we keep making the same mistakes? And now, for no apparent reason... Yertle the Turtle. ENJOY! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 20, 2018, 30DBC Prompt Write a list of 5 things you like/love about yourself! Alright! Here we go. There's ah mmm... and then ... ... Let's see ... ... there must be ... aagh. Well, ummm. I would ... ... ... It's aaa... ... 5 things you like/love about yourself! Sure, sure it's like aah ... um ... give me a minute. I'll have to get back to you on this. Ya see what I did there? I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 UNOFFICIAL CHALLENGE IN THE ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** October 19, 2018, 30DBC Prompt Make a list of 10 things that are on your desk or writing space and why you might need them. If I could get the number of items on my desk down to ten, then I wouldn't have to have this writing space in the living room. I try to keep my writing space clean and neat, but it gets away from me at times... This is one of those times. The items - There will be items - More than ten #1 - A ceramic coaster, with a printed message on it. "Martha Stewart would die here." #2 - One Hohner 'Special 20' harmonica (key of A) - A second 'special 20' (key of C) - One empty harmonic case - One 'hands-free' harmonica holder. #3 - My laptop, including a pair of external speakers, which provide exceptional sterio sound with full rich bass. #4 - One Bic pen #5 - One Samsung Galaxy Prime phone #6 - One plastic wind-up owl toy. The owl has wheels - When you wind it up, it rolls around. There is also another coaster, it's made of silacone and shaped in the form of an owl. #7 - One sharp pair of scisors - not for running with. #8 - #9 - #10 - Three boxes. Box #1: contains materials I use to make 'Bad Dogs' as seen on: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2014849868769331/ Box #2: contains Brother Nature's printed gift cards including envelopes. Box #3: contains more stuff for making 'Bad Dogs' (I had to take a look in the box. I'm not sure why I need two boxes.) Now I'm considering why it is I need all these items. I honestly don't have a good answer. Some of it I could do without. Maybe. BLOG THIS IS TOTALLY ME! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] I DON'T LIKE THIS BLOG ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** IS SPONSORED BY ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
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your comment. I've done some time curled up. The thumb-sucking never gets old, but the games get boring, and once you've seen all the videos the real world becomes a welcome lifestyle change.
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