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 |   As the first blog entry got exhausted. My second book |
| Evolution of Love Part 2 |
DD Podhigai telecast an interview with Mr P M Nair, (retired IAS officer, who was the Secretary to Dr. Abdul Kalam Sir when he was the President.) I summarise the points he spoke in a voice choked with emotion. Mr Nair authored a book titled *"Kalam Effect"* 1. Dr Kalam used to receive costly gifts whenever he went abroad as it is customary for many nations to give gifts to the visiting Heads of State. Refusing the gift would become an insult to the nation and an embarrassment for India. So, he received them and on his return, Dr Kalam asked the gifts to be photographed and then catalogued and handed over to the archives. Afterwards, he never even looked at them. He did not take even a pencil from the gifts received when he left Rashtrapathi Bhavan. 2. In 2002, the year Dr Kalam took over, the Ramadan month came in July-August. It was a regular practice for the President to host an iftar party. Dr Kalam asked Mr Nair why he should host a party to people who are already well fed and asked him to find out how much would be the cost. Mr Nair told it would cost around Rs. 22 lakhs. Dr Kalam asked him to donate that amount to a few selected orphanages in the form of food, dresses and blankets. The selection of orphanages was left to a team in Rashtrapathi Bhavan and Dr Kalam had no role in it. After the selection was made, Dr Kalam asked Mr Nair to come inside his room and gave him a cheque for Rs 1 lakh. He said that he was giving some amount from his personal savings and this should not be informed to anyone. Mr Nair was so shocked that he said "Sir, I will go outside and tell everyone . People should know that here is a man who not only donated what he should have spent but he is giving his own money also". Dr Kalam though he was a devout Muslim did not have Iftar parties in the years in which he was the President. 3. Dr Kalam did not like "Yes Sir" type of people. Once when the Chief Justice of India had come and on some point Dr Kalam expressed his view and asked Mr Nair, "Do you agree?" Mr Nair said " No Sir, I do not agree with you". The Chief Justice was shocked and could not believe his ears. It was impossible for a civil servant to disagree with the President and that too so openly. Mr Nair told him that the President would question him afterwards why he disagreed and if the reason was logical 99% he would change his mind. 4. Dr Kalam invited 50 of his relatives to come to Delhi and they all stayed in Rashtrapathi Bhavan. He organised a bus for them to go around the city which was paid for by him. No official car was used. All their stay and food was calculated as per the instructions of Dr Kalam and the bill came to Rs 2 lakhs which he paid. In the history of this country no one has done it. Now, wait for the climax, Dr Kalam's elder brother stayed with him in his room for the entire one week as Dr Kalam wanted his brother to stay with him. When they left, Dr Kalam wanted to pay rent for that room also. Imagine the President of a country paying rent for the room in which he is staying. This was any way not agreed to by the staff who thought the honesty was getting too much to handle!!!. 5. When Kalam Sir was to leave Rashtrapathi Bhavan at the end of his tenure, every staff member went and met him and paid their respects. Mr Nair went to him alone as his wife had fractured her leg and was confined to bed. Dr Kalam asked why his wife did not come. He replied that she was in bed due to an accident. Next day, Mr.Nair saw lot of policemen around his house and asked what had happened. They said that the President of India was coming to visit him in his house. He came and met his wife and chatted for some time. Mr Nair says that no president of any country would visit a civil servant's house and that too on such a simple pretext. I thought I should give the details as many of you may not have seen the telecast and so it may be useful. The younger brother of AJP Abdul Kalam runs an umbrella repairing shop. When Mr. Nair met him during Kalam’s funeral, he touched his feet, in token of respect for both Mr. Nair and Brother. Such information should be widely shared on social media as mainstream media will not show this because it doesn't carry the so-called GB TRP value. |
| Author: Could you if you wanted to? Yolande: In the beginning, I watched it closely – and no, I couldn’t. It is the same with thinking. In the beginning, I tried to think. I thought that maybe I ought to take action, make plans, project things as I had done previously. I tried, but I couldn’t do it. Silence – this intensity – prevented it. In the past, I could not stop myself from thinking, even when I wanted to. Today, if I want to think – well, I just can’t. It is as simple as that. Everything is simple. Everything is calm. Everything is new and there is no running commentary. Each instant appears and then dies. Then another and another. I allow myself to be completely absorbed by each instant. Author: [We walk alongside [the trees] with no need for words, and then words surface again, as if out of the surrounding countryside.] Could you say more about what you referred to as ‘silent transformation’? Yolande: Nothing has stopped as a result of this vision, this radical switch. On the contrary, transformation continues. First the feeling became more refined, the feeling of intensity, the energies that come and go, and also the visions, the ‘visitors’ that accompany them at times. And then there is a letting go, a continued abandonment to this ‘thing’ - this silence – that pushes me to act or speak or remain silent. I want less and less; I let myself be more and more. This vision, this thing, makes me do things with such intensity that all I can do is be. No need to think about life: I observe, and things keep on and on happening spontaneously and always within the intensity which varies from one minute to the next. I abandon myself more and more, I am more and more confident, because whatever happens, everything is taken care of. |
| There were *three ships* which were nearby when the *Titanic* sunk. One of them was known as the *Sampson*. It was 7 miles away from the Titanic and they saw the white flares signaling danger, but because the crew had been hunting seals *illegally* and didn't want to be caught, they turned and went the opposite direction away from the *Titanic*. This ship represents those of us who are so busy in our own sin and lives that we can't recognize when someone else is in need. The next ship was the *Californian*. This ship was only 14 miles away from the Titanic, but they were surrounded by *ice fields* and the captain looked out and saw the white flares, but because the conditions weren't favorable and it was dark, he decided to go back to bed and wait until morning. The crew tried to convince themselves that nothing was happening. This ship represents those of us *who say I can't do anything now*. The conditions aren't right and so we wait until conditions are perfect before going out. The last ship was the *Carpathia*. This ship was actually headed in a southern direction 58 miles away from the Titanic when they heard the distress cries over the radio. The captain of this ship knelt down, prayed to God for direction and then turned the ship around and went full steam ahead through the ice fields. This was the ship that *saved the 705 survivors* of the Titanic. 🌎 🌍 🌏 🎀 *ANALOGY* - Obstacles and reasons to avoid responsibility shall always be there, but those who accept it always find a place in the hearts to be remembered for the world of good they do. I really wish that we all could be *Carpathians* in life, unlike more Sampsons and Californians... this world could be a more beautiful place to live in. Love All Serve All 🌸🌸 |
| It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered & protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other & they began to die, alone & frozen. So they had to make a choice.. . Either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. . They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the warmth & heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive. *The best Group is not the one that brings together perfect people, but where each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others & at the same time, admire the other person's good qualities as well.* *Better to be surrounded by 'warm wounds' than be frozen in solitude!!!!!!* 😊 |
| Context : Corporate World. On a birthday, a family decided to go out for dinner. Husband asked wife, where to go? Thinking that he likes Gujarati food, she said: “Let’s go to Agashiye - The Terrace Restaurant!” His son and daughter nodded in agreement. On their return, the son remarked, “I wish Papa had taken us to Mainland China, as he loves Chinese food. Or at least to Shere-E-Punjab for the wonderful tandoori chicken.”added his daughter. “Yes, I too would have loved to go Mainland China!”, the man said. Wife looked surprised: “But didn’t we all unanimously agree to go to Agashiye,” she asked. He said sheepishly “I didn’t want you to feel bad.” And both children nodded in agreement. Here were four people who of their own volition would not have gone to ‘Agashiye - The Terrace Restaurant, but collectively agreed to go there. This also happens in the corporate world. This is the Abilene Paradox. Prof Jerry Harvey calls it 'The Inability to Manage Agreement.' The Abilene Paradox occurs when a group of people collectively decide on a course of action that is contrary to the preferences of most of the individuals in the group. Prof Harvey states in his paper ‘The Abilene Paradox’, “Organizations frequently take actions in contradiction to what they really want to do and therefore defeat the very purpose they are trying to achieve”. This is the inability to manage agreement. He adds, “The inability to manage agreement, not the inability to manage conflict, is the essential symptom that defines organizations caught in the web of the Abilene Paradox.” In the corporate world, when the top boss throws an idea, the group immediately agrees. This is because everyone in the group thinks he would look stupid if he disagrees. Standing out as a lone voice is very embarrassing. This leads the group to decide on ‘yes’ when ‘no’ would have been the personal (and the correct) response of the majority. If the top boss always disagrees with rest of group, then the organization will never have group giving honest opinion. I love this from Ayn Rand, “If we have an endless number of individual minds who are weak, meek, submissive and impotent. Who renounce their creative supremacy for the sake of the “whole” and accept humbly the ‘whole’s verdict’, we don’t get a collective super-brain. We get only the weak, meek, submissive and impotent collection of minds.” |
Equations! Equation1 Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy Donkey = eat + sleep + work Therefore: Human = Donkey + enjoy Therefore: Human-enjoy = Donkey In other words, A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works. Equation 2 Man = eat + sleep + earn money Donkey = eat + sleep Therefore: Man = Donkey + earn money Therefore: Man-earn money = Donkey In other words Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey Woman= eat + sleep + spend Donkey = eat + sleep Therefore: Woman = Donkey + spend Woman - spend = Donkey In other words, Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey To Conclude: From Equation 2 and Equation 3 Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey! And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey! So, We have: Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money Therefore. from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together, earning and spending! 😀😃😄😂😜 |
| From diary of Sayed Jaffrey -- the famous bollywood character actor --- I was 19 when I married to Mehrunima who was 17. As I grew up, I was very fascinated by the british culture in colonial India. I learnt to speak English fluently, wear suits with grace and developed impeccable etiquettes. But Mehrunima grew up to be my complete opposite - homely, a typical housewife. All my advices and admonishments couldn't change her basic personality - an obedient wife, a doting mother and a good homemaker. But she was not what I wanted. More I tried to change her, more we drifted apart. Gradually she metamorphosed from a cheerful affectionate young girl into a quiet insecure woman. Meanwhile I started getting attracted to a co-actor of mine who was all what I wanted in my wife. After 10 years of marriage, l divorced Mehrunima, left my home and married my co- actor. I had ensured financial security of Mehrunima and my kids. For about 6-7 months everything went well. Then I started realising, my new wife was not caring and affectionate. She was only concerned about her beauty, ambitions, her wants and desires. Sometimes I missed Mehrunima's caring touch and concern for my welfare. Life moved on. I and my new wife were 2 persons living in a house, not one soul living in a home. I never went back to find out what happened to Mehrunima and my kids. After about 6 -7 years of my second marriage, I came across an article on a Madhur Jaffrey, an upcoming famous chef who recently launched a book of her own recipes. The moment I looked at the picture of the smart elegant lady, I was stunned. It was Mehrunima. But how could it be ??? She had remarried and changed her maiden name too. I was shooting abroad at that time. She lived in US now. I caught the next flight to US. I inquired about her whereabouts and went to meet her. She refused to see me. My daughter who was 14 and son who was 12, told her they wanted to talk to me one last time. Her new husband was by her side. He was also my children's legal father now. To this date, I cannot forget what my children told me. They told me that their new father knows the meaning of true love. He accepted Mehrunima as she was and never tried to change her into what he himself was, because he loves her more than he loves himself. He let her evolve at her own pace and never tried to force his wishes on her. He accepted and enjoyed her person as it was. And she has bloomed into a confident, loving, affectionate, self reliant lady today under her second husband's selfless love and acceptance. Where as my selfishness, demands and unacceptance of her persona had crushed her and then in my selfishness I had discarded her. I Never Loved Her. I Had Always Loved myself. And Those Who Love Themselves, Cannot Love Others. |
| This actually took place in Charlotte, North Carolina, USA. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, loss due to fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and WON! (Stay with me.) Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'. NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the cheque, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award contest in USA. |
(1) Those who had coins, enjoyed in the rain. Those who had notes, were busy looking for shelter. (2) Man and God both met somewhere. Both exclaimed, "My creator." (3) He asked, are you a Hindu or Muslim? The response came, "I am hungry"! (4) The fool didn't know it was impossible. So he did it. (5) "Wrong number," Said a familiar voice. (6) What if God asks you after you die, "So how was heaven?" (7) They told me that to make her fall in love I had to make her laugh. But every time she laughs, I am the one who falls in love." (8) We don't make friends anymore.... We Add them nowadays.. |
| There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension cheque. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it must have been those working at the Post Office! 🤣 |
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