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 |   A journey of self-improvement - or not. |
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Sup? I'm Char. You may know me from timeless classics such as
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[Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya They say jump and ya say "how high?" Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head |
Artist: Led Zeppelin Song: Tangerine [Embed For Use By Upgraded+]  Prompt from LdyPhoenix  via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  : What are some of the weirdest facts you've ever learned? Wow us with your bizarre knowledge! Prompt via "JAFBG" : Write about a fact of life that many people seem to have trouble grasping. I'm going to get a little creative with this one because I recently wrote a huge list of weird facts and I think I might be tapped out! Luckily, there's a "fact" prompt for "JAFBG" too and I'm more than in the mood to rant. I'll just combine the two prompts. See, things work out usually.  Check out "Invalid Entry" for my list of weird facts from May. I wish I could go back to July.  June was such a difficult month, I was determined to make July better. And I did. I don't know what's happened recently. Going back to school and being sick has just weighed on me endlessly. I know that I should be looking for post-grad jobs, but I have this horrible lingering cough and we still pretty much have no official answers as to why. More than that though, my anxiety has been absolutely h o r r e n d o u s for the past few weeks. I'm barely sleeping. When I do sleep, I have nightmares and jolt awake in a total panic. I can't even tell if I'm awake or asleep at night. It's like having fever dreams minus the fever. I feel like I'm hallucinating at night. I have clear memories of things happening while fully conscious, but that's disproven by the fact that they, ya know, didn't happen. I must be asleep, but it doesn't feel that way at all. It actually feels like I'm losing my grip on reality. The liberal amount of benzos I'm taking to keep my anxiety at bay probably isn't helping, but I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to cope or stave it off for good. But, quick, before my meds kick in... Let me try to write something from the prompts. Here are some facts of life that I have trouble grasping (and maybe other people do too):  Playing by the rules doesn't always work. Life is weird in that society tells you what you're supposed to do, so when you do that thing, you expect results. The truth is that you don't stand out when you play by the rules. There are millions of people just like you playing by the exact same rules. You're all doing the same shit. You have to step outside of the box to actually get recognition, so dotting your t's and crossing your i's in the rulebook of life is basically pointless, in my opinion. The hardest working people often don't reap the rewards of their work. The ones who often do reap the benefits are the people who are willing to do things that you wouldn’t ethically or morally do. A lot of people are just ignorant, not malicious. This is personally super difficult for me to accept because I just can't imagine some of the things people do regularly being the result of anything but malicious intent. Alas, a lot of people genuinely just lack the self-awareness and general knowledge to do what you'd expect them to do. I think it's so natural to be like, "Man, that person is a total asshole." And the person you're talking about is totally oblivious to the fact that you feel that way because that's just how oblivious they are. About everything. Always. Organized childhood abuse is absurdly common and nearly inevitable.Think of any organization that involves a lot of children with adults overseeing them. I can almost guarantee there is a major abuse issue that has either already been leaked, is being actively covered up, or will be leaked at some point. We already know about the Catholic church . We know about the Boy Scouts . We know about the Olympics . We know about Hollywood .These things aren’t even really hidden. The abusers are protected by the organizations while the victims are silenced and rarely ever even get validation that what happened to them was wrong. It isn’t a matter of if an organization that deals with a lot of children is a breeding ground for sexual abuse, it’s whether you'll actually hear about it and when. Problems are mostly temporary.AKA “This too shall pass.” Whenever I’m feeling super down, I always remind myself of times I’ve felt worse. Then I think about how I’ve felt better between then and now. There have been so many things and people that I thought mattered. Countless problems that I’ve just completely left in the past without a second thought. The things that are bothering me now will likely lift at some point, just like the things in the past that bothered me have often lifted over time. Measuring a summer's day, I only finds it slips away to grey |
Artist: Patient 113 Song: Awake to You [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt from Robert Waltz  via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : What is your favorite storytelling medium, and why? Face-to-face? Movies? Novels? Audiobooks, audioplays? Stage productions? Comics? TV shows? Tweetstorms? Concept albums? Something else? Thanks for the prompt, Robert! Interesting question. I'm trying to think if this is my favorite storytelling method to tell people stories or to hear stories. Let's take these one at a time... Face-to-face. I'm absolutely terrible at talking face-to-face. I'm bad on the spot. The dumbest shit comes into my head first and I'm always having to bite my tongue. My general rule of thumb is to not go with the first or second thought I have. The third one is pretty safe.  That being said, I do enjoy listening to a really good storyteller. Some people really have a knack for it.Movies. This is probably my real answer to the prompt. Movies are just so good for getting a story in 2 hours or less. They're perfect for when you're super busy but you want to take a timeout and relax for a little bit. I've seen so many movies, it's utterly absurd. When they're done well, they're my favorite form of storytelling for sure. Novels. I love reading, but it's so time-consuming. I have so many books on my to-read shelf. A good book will take you to another world and I think that's why so many people love them. The problem is that if you don't have very much time, a book has to be really good to warrant 5-10 hours of your time to read it. That's been my experience anyway. When I'm really busy, if a book is a slog at all, it becomes a "did not finish" book super quickly. Audiobooks. If I could actually pay attention to an audiobook, I'm sure I would love them. Unfortunately, my experience has been more like, Wait, what did they say? Oh shit, I haven't been paying attention for like 10 minutes. Where's the rewind button? Uh, what's the last thing I remember hearing? I just can't follow along. Stage productions. So much work goes into stage productions and I respect the art of it a lot. I don't have much experience with watching stage productions though, so they must not be my favorite. Comics. I adore some graphic novels. There's just something about the art and minimal lines that make it such an interesting medium for storytelling. One of my favorites ever is called Blankets . It's just a heartbreaking and beautiful story. Here's my product review of it: "Blankets" , a product review by Charlie ~ TV shows. It seems like TV shows really took off again with shows like Breaking Bad. That's the first show I think of when I think about the mass popularity of current TV shows. I think it launched a lot of series because producers and writers saw that there was a major market for television shows. When done well, I really like TV shows. I think there's a lot of wasted time in many TV series though, so they fall lower on my storytelling list. Tweetstorms. I've missed literally every tweetstorm ever. Concept albums. Easily one of the coolest storytelling methods. There's just so much creativity that goes into making a concept album because you're telling a full story through music. Pink Floyd's The Wall is pretty great. I also like Coheed and Cambria's graphic novels and concept albums. So much creativity. |
Artist: Troye Sivan Song: Wild [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt from Elle - on hiatus  via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : What do you think makes a good leader? Share an example of a good leader from your life (or alternatively, a poor leader who taught you what not to do). Business school requires me to love this prompt. It's in my contract. I've learned all about business strategies, leadership styles, and team dynamics. One thing I’m certain of is that I am not a good leader. I’m not even a good team player. I’m too neurotic and finicky and emotional. I either go at something’ 100% or I don’t give a single fuck about it, and both are bad for leadership and team management. With the first, you’re too much of a control freak to delegate duties and share the workload. It requires trust that the people you’re leading are gonna go balls to the wall too, and I just can’t put that responsibility in someone else’s hands if I really care about what I’m doing. And, of course, if I don’t give a fuck about it that means I’m not even interested in talking about it or trying to work on it. Even here on WDC, I’m a shitty group leader. I get easily overwhelmed and my moods are just finicky af. I’ll start working on stuff for my group and then I just totally lose the will to do anything. I do the same with group projects at school. It’s either me doing nearly 100% of the work, or me totally mentally checked out. Like I’ll do the bare minimum requirement for my part, and I’ll do it well, but I don’t care about the final result or what anyone else is doing. That being said, I do have some good examples of leaders, both here on the site and in real life. I think some of our group leaders here are really good at what they do. I also think some of my professors are great at leading while teaching. Here are some notable traits of good leaders, in my opinion: They’re decisive. They don’t go back and forth on what they want to do. They make a decision and they stick with it, regardless of vocal minorities who dislike the decisions. This is something I’m personally terrible at. I hear a couple negative thoughts and I immediately want to change everything because it’s “totally not working.” When in reality, it’s like 2 people who disagree and are just loud about it. They work too. The worst leaders are the ones who want to tell everyone else what to do while they just sit around doing nothing. There’s a difference between delegating and demanding. Leaders should work alongside the people they’re leading. In fact, they should be the hardest working of them all. They motivate and inspire. I think a good leader encourages you to have intrinsic motivation for the things you do. There is of course a common goal and rewards or payment along the way, but a really good leader can inspire people to move on their own for personal reasons. Whether it’s because they want the self-growth that knowledge provides or they want to explore new sides of their writing, people need longevity in their reasons for doing things. Leaders don’t rely solely on external rewards as a tool of motivation. They’re empathetic. Using fear to rule over people with an iron fist is a trademark of bad leaders. They don’t know how to connect with other humans on a personal level, but have found out that if they act like a total dick things will usually get done correctly. The best leaders I know are compassionate, empathetic people. You don’t have to worry about how they’re going to react when you have bad news for them. When you have a personal issue going on in life, they understand and want you to take care of yourself. This creates a loyal, productive follower. They have humility. Have you ever been led by someone who blames you when their ideas don’t pan out? For example, they want to try out a new, creative idea and you follow their lead. Then when it totally bombs it’s your fault because you didn’t implement it correctly/didn’t anticipate potential problems/didn’t fully understand their vision/didn’t tell them it was a bad idea? I think good leaders are willing to admit their faults and move on in a positive way. I don't think I'll ever be a good leader because it's just not my personality type. I'm way too self-focused, and that's me being nice to myself instead of saying self-centered.  It takes all types though. I wish more people realized that they're not leaders. I feel like society puts such an emphasis on being a leader. We can't all be running around leading shit. White noise in my mind Won’t calm down You’re all I think about |
Artist: Nirvana Song: On a Plain [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : Reflect on WDC’s 19th Birthday week! I don’t know any other online community that celebrates like we do  What was your favorite activity to participate in? What is the favorite thing you wrote? What is the favorite thing you read? Did you win anything? I'm already being a little flakey this month because my anxiety and stress levels are stupid high. I'm trying to take everything I have to do and just do one thing at a time, but still take time out to do things that relax me like writing and reading (especially read my fellow bloggers). I've been sick for a couple weeks now and I'm back in school, so everything just feels insurmountable even though this is my last semester of school and I've totally got shit under control. It's probably more the transition from full-time school to starting my career that is worrying me. I'm kind of frozen even on applying places because I'm nervous about interviewing and then actually working.  Remote job, please. Anyway, I didn't answer yesterday's prompt because I really, really didn't want to think about illness and death after being at school all day. I am happy that they memorialize people's ports here after they pass, but I don't want to think about anything bad happening to myself or anyone else here.  So, yeah, I didn't make full use of birthday week, needless to say. I wish birthday week was the first week of August instead. Birthday week is always during my first or second week back to school! I tried to do what I could, but I pretty much just wrote a few lackluster blog entries. I won't be winning anything any time soon. Oh, but I did get some shiny gifts from some of my WDC friends! I adore my new awardicon on this blog courtesy of Warped Sanity !  I've also been changing my WDC skin, like, almost every day. I'm rocking the "Multi Marble" one from Day 4 right now. It's super bomb. My favorite thing was learning about WDC conventions: "Invalid Entry" It seems like I would have heard about them at some point in the last 5 years, but, nope! That was a cool dip into the past. I guess I don't pay attention to how long some of the people have been around here.I bet there's a whole history to the site that I know nothing about. If anyone ever wants to give me a WDC history lesson, I'm all up for it! Going forward, I'm excited to dig into some of the prompts submitted by site members! I've seen some of the prompts where we're supposed to come up with our own prompts and I know there are some really good ones in there. Can't wait to dig in. I'll definitely try to comment on more blogs too. Somewhere I have heard this before In a dream my memory has stored |
Artist: Brand New Song: Degausser [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : ...there are 22 item types available for members to create... full list here: Item Types and Their Uses .Is there any item type available to you that you've never created? Any that you've never read? Any tool or feature on WDC that you haven't tried? Why not? What are the benefits of having these extra features available on a site dedicated to writing? Plus, "JAFBG" prompt: What mild inconvenience drives you fucking nuts? Yeaaah, I'm combining both of those prompts today. I know, I'm just a bundle of joy even during birthday week. Sorry, but also not really. I've had a really weird day in general for some reason. Do you ever have a day where you feel like everything you say is the wrong thing? Like, you have 20 interactions and you manage to fuck all of them up? I'm never sure if that's related to my borderline personality disorder or if other people do that too. Like, I'm pretty sure I didn't specifically do anything wrong, but I also didn't do anything right. I can tell that the things I said or did in various interactions were not the things I was supposed to do or say. It's this feeling like every relationship I have is worse off for me having interacted today. Does that make any sense at all? Sometimes at the end of the day, I'm like... yeah, bro, you shouldn't have talked at all today. It's a mild inconvenience, but it drives me fucking nuts. I think a lot of it is rooted in having a lack of self-esteem. When I'm not particularly well-received in a conversation, I leave it full of self-doubt and start wishing I'd either not said anything or had quickly conformed to the other person's opinion. I find myself doing that all the time too. Like, I have an opinion. Person A states their opposing opinion. And I'm like, "Yeah, dude, totally." I don't have the identity to think, oh, I'm actually a different individual than you, so I feel a different way than you. The funniest part is that I walk away from a lot of conversations kicking myself like, I totally didn't want to go along with that, so I should have said something even if it was nonconforming. But then when I do actually speak up for something that I think matters, I end up somehow feeling even worse. I'm just legit the most dismissible person ever. Like... Me: Hey, here's this thing I feel. Other person: No. Me: Oh, never mind.  All. The. Time.Anyway, what the fuck am I supposed to be writing about? OH, right.  If you came to read about which items I've written, you can start here.  Well, I don't have a premium account, so I don't have any of the "P" items like photo albums, shops, web pages, etc. I don't have any campfires, interactives, in-and-outs, or mad libs either. Buuuut, I'm pretty sure I have at least one of everything else. I've created word searches and crosswords for various challenges over the years. I've also got a group and I've used surveys/polls for things related to the group. It's nice to have some other options on the site. I try to utilize them sometimes in my group for the challenges. You know, "make a mental health related word search" or whatever. I dunno if people actually do word searches or crossword puzzles on WDC often, but they're just nice side perks in case you ever felt like doing that. I've never read interactives on the site. They seem heavily fetish-leaning, and I'm not one to kink shame, but the fetishes I see in interactives here certainly don't align with my own. I had no idea how huge this underground interactive fetish thing was until I was doing something related to Game of Thrones and I was like, holy shit, there are a lot of fetish interactives going on. I do like the idea of interactives though. It's cool that people can write together and have a sort of "choose your own adventure" thing going on. And if it gets people off, bonus, I guess. (I specifically said that so I could reference 'getting off' 3 entries in a row. You're welcome.) Hey, what's the difference between an Interactive and a Campfire Creative? Just choose the next chapter vs. no choice of next chapter? But I'll bet that you're running I've been sleeping in the alkaline I can't shake this little feeling I'll never get anything right |
Artist: The Beatles Song: Happiness is a Warm Gun [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : Did you know that WDC keeps track of everyone who views your items? To have a look at your blog’s statistics, open your blog, click the gear icon in the top right, and then click “Statistics.” You can do this for your blog or any other item in your portfolio!In your blog entry today, share anything interesting you found while exploring your blog’s statistics. What is the profile of your average reader? Do you consider your readership when composing a blog entry? Everyone has an “ideal reader,” as Stephen King says. Who is your ideal reader? I'm really loving the birthday week prompts. Blog stats? I love this kind of data. So, these stats are from the last 30 days. I realized that after I tried to look at the stats from one of my old blogs.  This blog is relatively new because I've only used it since the end of January. Anyway, here are some notable stats since August 3rd: 36 unique WDC members have visitedThat sounds about right to me.  98 total WDC viewsThis must be views of your base blog, not entry views. My average entry gets around 25 views on the low end and around 100 on the high end. I'd say average is around 40-50. Average unique member fits the profile of a Married Female, age 40-49, with Some College education. Their income level is Less than $20,000.Very interesting. Let's break that down a little more... 77.8% female; 8% maleThis is interesting because I think WDC tends to lean female to begin with, right? I wonder what percentage of the site is female vs. male? Do we have those stats? 36.1% are 40-49 years old; 22.2% are 25-39 years old; 16.7% are 50-59 years oldInteresting stats there. I don't know the average age of people on the site, so I'll be interested in seeing what other people's stats are on that (if they post them). 44.4% are married; 30.6% are singleThe rest are involved/widowed/divorced, etc. This is actually a more even split than I though it would be. For some reason I figured a higher majority would be married, but then I started thinking about it and I don't really know that many people's relationship statuses unless they talk about it in their blog a lot. 36.1% have some college; 33.3% have a college degreeAnd then grad school, some grad school, and high school. Interesting to see that a lot of people have at least some level of higher education. I know right now when people are looking at the stats on their blog, I'm one of the "some college" people. Looking forward to moving into the "college degree" category in December!  31.6% make less than $20,000; 15.8% make $100,000-149,999Can we take a minute to recognize the disparity there? I mean WOW. This is the one stat that actual surprised me. That the most common reader makes less than $20K a year and then the next highest common reader makes 6 figures. That's just so interesting to me. 38.9% describe themselves as Avid Writers; 27.8% describe themselves as Casual WritersI'm actually not even sure which category I put for myself, to be honest. I think I described myself as a casual writer. If not, I should go in and change that because I am far from an avid writer at this point. My ideal reader is... someone who can laugh about me saying that I'm having nocturnal panic attacks because there's a ghost jerking off on my chest every night. More seriously, this is a personal blog. I'm not getting paid for it. This isn't something specific like a baking blog where I need to think about what kind of recipes my readers might like, so, I don't. It doesn't cross my mind to think about what the reader might want me to say. That's a good thing. It means that my thoughts here are 100% genuine through all the ups and downs I have in life. From my successes to my setbacks, the reader can be a part of my life if they choose to. That being said, I do certain things to make it easier for my audience to digest my blog. For example: Bullet point lists, like this one and the one above when I'm making multiple points. I want reading my blog to be a breeze, not a wall of text that's difficult to get through. Changing the font to emphasize certain ideas or thoughts. Plenty of spacing so it's easier on the eyes. Linespace is always 1.5 and paragraph breaks are in full use.My content is not written for you, but the formatting certainly is. And my ideal reader? Anyone who can accept me for who I am is my ideal reader.   I need a fix because I'm going down |
Artist: Taking Back Sunday Song: A Decade Under the Influence [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : 1.) Go to the Community Newsfeed and comment on the post of a member you do not know. 2.) Go to the Blog Board and comment on a blog you haven't read before. 3.) Return to your own blog and share what you learned. In addition, answer this question: How would a life where you regularly stepped outside your comfort zone be different than a life where you never did? 1. "Note: This is my first time joining here and it's su..."  2. "Invalid Entry" by {suser_id:}3. I learned that it's very difficult for me to find a person on WDC that I've not already talked to or whose blog I've not already read. One of the things I do sometimes is go to the blog board and read the latest blog entries from whoever. There are so many great blogs on the site that don't get a lot of love because the writers don't tend to be a part of blogging groups. I think sometimes bloggers think that if they're part of a blogging group, the prompts are going to stifle the things they want to write about. What they don't know is that you can go totally off-topic for a minute, like this: I've been having nocturnal panic attacks and these things are a biiiitch. If I'm awake, I can usually calm my anxiety down before it turns into a full-blown panic attack, but that shit doesn't work if I'm unconscious when they start. This is what happens. I'll be doing this thing where I'm sleeping. This is allegedly supposed to occur for 6-8 hours straight. Yeah, that's not happening. Instead, I sleep for, like, 2 hours max. And then I jerk awake with my heart racing, cold sweats, hyperventilating, shaking, dizziness, etc. Ya know, like a panic attack. It's annoying af. It happens every night between like 2:30 and 3:30 in the morning. If I didn't know better, I'd say I'm in a fucking horror movie and there's a ghost jerking off on my chest at the same time every night or something. And then just segue back into the prompt, like: I think stepping out of your comfort zone is good, but I think it looks different for every person. Some people might have a lot of anxiety, so them stepping out of their comfort zone will look a lot different than someone without anxiety stepping out of their comfort zone. For some people, commenting on someone's blog who you've never read is asking a lot. A lot of people's blogs are super personal so, without knowing them, it kind of feels like you're reading and commenting on their diary. On the other hand, I have no problem doing it. I've done it as a non-prompt activity many times because I think it's a great way to meet new people and also let bloggers know that their writing is getting read regardless of their status in the site blogging circles. I say, step out of your comfort zone when you can. Sometimes you can only step out an inch, sometimes you can step out a mile. You only get experiences and stories to tell when you do push your limits, in my opinion. If I do the same shit every day without variance, what do I really have to say or write about? I know I wouldn't have much to blog about or write about if I didn't leap over my boundaries frequently. I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you |
Artist: Pink Floyd Song: Echoes [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : As you may or may not be aware, in the early days of Writing.Com, SM and SMs hosted in-person Conventions for members! From everything I’ve heard from the site’s veteran members, these get-togethers were beyond memorable and so inspirational. Take a trip to the past by reading this item advertising the 2006 WDC Convention: "Writing.Com Convention 2006" . Then, share your thoughts on what a Convention hosted today might look like. Where would it be hosted? How many members could attend? What activities would take place? Who would you want to meet in person? Have fun! WDC Convention? I've honestly never heard of this in my 5 years on the site.  But what really caught my attention on that page was...WDC Scholarship Fund For those who didn't know or didn't click on the link, it's a scholarship to help someone in financial need attend the convention, NOT a school scholarship as my academic brain immediately thought. I think this is a really cute idea. I don't know how many people would attend these days, but I imagine a lot of people in the general area of wherever it's hosted might stop by for the convention at least. Somewhere central seems like an obvious choice, but because we have people all over the world, that's hard to do. Plus, even if you're talking about central to US WDCers, it's still just as complicated. The center of the continental US is in Kansas and that's a pretty far drive for, well, most people. Personally, I can't do itineraries. They make me anxious just seeing them. I understand the purpose and necessity of them, but I personally have difficulty attending things that require an itinerary. I'm guaranteed to be late to every part of it and confused about what I'm supposed to be doing at any given time. Any trips I take are very casual and not time sensitive in any way. It works best with my personality. Okay, so we have a WDC Convention in Lebanon, KS because that's the center of the US. Who attends? Almost everyone is going to need to either fly in or drive some distance. I guess that rules out everyone who doesn't have the money for roundtrip plane tickets or gasoline or a hotel. It also rules out everyone who doesn't have vacation time from work or school. I'm seeing why this tradition didn't last. I can't even imagine how much work went into planning these conventions. I can also see why they happened when the site was smaller and probably even more tight-knit than it is now. I feel like people might feel left out if there were to be a WDC convention now and most people couldn't go to it. I don't know why I have that feeling because I wouldn't personally feel that way. It's just something that came to mind.Activities? Hmm, drinking for sure. I'd exist in that Midnight - territory if I were to attend one of these things. No one would see me in daylight.  Other than that, it looks like they had lots of fun activities then. I can't imagine what could be done now. Raffles and auctions seem pretty popular here these days so maybe a real-life version of those? OH, I know! A merit badge costume contest. Dress like you're favorite merit badge and vote on the best costume. I know that shit would be going down. I'd like to meet everyone in person. I think it would be a lot of fun to see a different side to people than we see here in the site. At the same time though, I do like the separation of my online friends and real life friends. And I don't think my real life and online life would be a good fit. I'm much quieter and more moody in real life because I don't have that opportunity to just walk away from an email or message without responding for a few hours. In real life, everything is instantaneous so I'm probably less pleasant. If I respond to something online, you know it's because I have time and want to do that. Definitely don't get the same options in real life! I learned my lesson yesterday with naming specific people because that's just a never-ending list. So, yeah, I choose everyone. And through the window in the wall Come streaming in on sunlight wings A million bright ambassadors of morning |
Artist: Aurora Song: Under Stars [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : Celebrate 19 years of Writing.Com by writing a thank you letter to someone on WDC or a thank you letter to the website itself. Then, visit "Writing.Com Party Central 2023!" Happy 19th birthday week to WDC!  I don't know how much I'll be around this month, but I can't miss out on some group blogging.I've been fairly MIA as is because I've randomly gotten sick. I've apparently had a viral infection and through testing found out that my hemoglobin is very low and that I have wheezing in my lungs likely caused by asthma. It started with my heart racing while trying to do simple things like walking up stairs. I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Then it progressed to a dry cough, wheezing, shortness of breath, dizziness, chest pain, etc. when I tried to do anything at all. Even walking to the bathroom from my bedroom (less than 10 steps) would leave me doubled over coughing and gasping for air. Just for reference, I can usually run up and down my several flights of apartment stairs (especially when I forget something as I'm leaving) without being out of breath to any degree. Anyway, I'm on a treatment plan now for all of these things and hopefully will be on the mend sooner rather than later. Right now I'm just beyond exhausted and drained of all energy. I can't remember the last time I had such malaise. I just feel awful in so many different ways at once. I also know absolutely nothing about asthma because I never had it as a child and honestly didn't even know I could randomly get it. I have to go back to the doctor next week to discuss more testing and a long-term treatment plan. It was just very sudden and confusing. Okay, okay. I'll move on. First of all, thanks for linking all the birthday activities in the prompt, Em. I was looking for that earlier. I couldn't find it because it was still private, apparently!  My WDC thank-you list would honestly be so long... I don't even know. I found the site straight out of rehab where I had started writing again. If Beth was still here, I would thank her for starting Soundtrackers because if it weren't for getting into blogging, I wouldn't have stayed on the site. Other than that though... Fivesixer  , for sure. He was one of the first people who actually read and started commenting on my blog when I was like a 2-week old WDC newbie.I always think of people like ♥Hooves♥  , 🌑 Darleen - QoD , and 🇺🇸 Carol St.Ann 🇺🇸  when a topic like this comes up. They've just always been super kind to me here and, like, quick to reach out if something's going on with me. Cinn is kind of like my writing partner-in-crime, of course. I'm just super comfortable with her in every aspect so I can show her a piece of writing that's super shitty and know that she'll "get" what I was going for and try to help me out.There are also people I talk to a lot off-site. ~Minja~  is someone I met here who I check in with almost every day. If I don't hear from Min and she doesn't hear from me, usually something is off. Then there are the people who just very consistently make the site a better place to be like Elle - on hiatus and Lyn's a Witchy Woman  . They're always keeping up with hosting their activities and they're a major asset to WDC.Plus, this is a writing site so you have some amazing writers. I think A.T.B: It'sWhatWeDo and Osirantinous  are the best fiction writers for my taste that I've read on the site. When I'm reading something of theirs, it feels like I'm reading a published story.But now I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle, haven't I? Because it's not the individual people who make WDC great (although they do), it's the general atmosphere of the site. It's the overall friendliness that is expected from all the members on the site. I can't thank everyone who I've had a good experience with in the past 5.5 years because I've had a good experience with almost every member I've interacted with here. I have the "Invalid Item" crew who give the site so much depth and have such interesting stories to tell. Then there's the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" crew who I love blogging with because we end up having so much in common but somehow take totally different approaches to the same prompts.There are the people who answer questions and greet people in the Technical Support and Noticing Newbies forum. They definitely make the site a better place and deserve a big thanks. The people who review frequently and, especially the ones who do in-depth reviews, are so highly valuable to the site. I'm not knocking anyone's reviewing style here. Just saying that in-depth reviews take A LOT more time than reviews that are just a few general sentences. The people who can knock out several in-depth reviews a month on the site are so important to getting people to actually post their writing and stick around (especially new members). Oh, and I can't forget the people who read my blog when they don't have to. They're like liquid gold to me. Just like, "Oh, hey, Charlie said some stupid bullshit, I should go check that out with no benefit to myself!" (Don't worry. I haven't blogged in 3 weeks so you didn't miss anything. )So, yeah, I know I'm rambling. It's the illness. But the bottom line is that there are so many things that keep us around WDC for a prolonged period of time. The people who create activities & the people who participate in activities are equally important. The site has so much to offer whether you're 'create an activity' type or the 'participatory' type. Both are so necessary and I appreciate both so much. Actually, I take that back. I think the people who participate become more important at some point because you need more participants than you do activities, right? The point is, SMs & SM have created a really nice home away from home here. I think there are always things that could improve. Everyone should collectively always be striving to improve and be greater, but I haven't found another place on the internet where people are so generally polite and well-wishing. I've explored other writing websites before and it's wild how overtly catty, noninclusive, and unwelcoming they are. As a newbie here, I could talk to someone who'd been here for 14 years and not even realize it until I saw their port. On other sites, people act like, I've been here for SIX years, how dare you speak to me, peasant? They might not have said that exactly, but it was pretty close. Bye-bye. I'll stay on WDC where people generally don't think they're god's gift to the earth.  As far as fun activities going on this month for WDC's birthday... there are a lot! I don't know how much time I'll have to actually participate in them, but, see! That's why you need both activity hosts AND activity participants. This activity looks fun...
If you're good at rearranging lyrics, you'll probably be really good at this one! Rest in peace and give yourself to harmony |
Artist: Led Zeppelin Song: Communication Breakdown [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "Invalid Item" : Prompt 1: Reflect on the way you communicate with other people. What are the best and worst things about your communication style? What can you do to correct the worst aspects of your communication method and what suggestions do you have for strong communication skills? The Good I definitely have good aspects to my communication style. I'm a fairly empathetic person and can easily put myself in another person's shoes. If someone's talking to me about something, I can sense what they're feeling without having ever been in their situation. It's helpful to be able to read people's moods, especially in situations where someone clearly has trepidation about something, but is trying to be polite. For example, when I'm working with someone on a project, it helps if I can read what they're uncomfortable with and find alternative solutions that make them feel more comfortable. I'm also pretty good at communicating my feelings. I'm in touch with my emotions, so I can express how something makes me feel when I want to. I have family members who are totally out of touch with their emotions and literally just avoid any conversation that might involve emotion that isn't anger. The Bad The problem is that I don't always want to tell someone how I'm feeling. I can be a bit petty. If someone pisses me off, I can really get my feathers ruffled without ever communicating that I'm angry. That makes it so that people don't have an opportunity to correct the situation or apologize because they don't even realized there's an issue. Sometimes people just pick up that I'm pissed off based on my mood because I tend to have wild mood swings. That makes communicating with me a guessing game sometimes. Am I upset with you? Am I moody about something else going on? Am I pissed off at someone else? Is my anxiety just acting up? It's the worst kind of board game. The Ugly Grudges galore. I can hold a grudge longer than, like, anyone I know. And that's not a good thing. If someone does something that really bothers me, I basically get a mental block on that person. It's like no matter what they do from that point forward doesn't really matter because my brain has already blocked them. At the same time, there are other people who can do quite literally anything to me and I still won't accept that they've done something bad. I noticed this even in childhood. I would have a friend for years and they would do something relatively minor, like snub me on an invite somewhere one time. It was like every positive feeling I had ever had for them just disappeared all at once. Every good memory I'd ever had with them suddenly seemed tainted or ruined. I wouldn't be able to think of even one redeeming quality about the person. It was like my brain completely dismissed them on a human level. If I even heard the person's name, I would feel complete rage. And even if they apologized, it was too late. My brain had already decided that they were a terrible person all along. On the other hand, I'd have another friend for years who repeatedly put me in bad situations, verbally/physically fought with me nonstop, and was just generally problematic. But I wouldn't have the same reaction. I would even defend them to my family/our other friends. "Yeah, he did give me a black eye, but in his defense, I was really mouthing off." Those were friends who I couldn't accept anything bad about. I just refused to believe they had an ounce of bad within them, so anything bad they did, I had to pass off as a natural reaction to something else, even if it meant taking the blame for their negative actions. I later learned that this is called splitting and it's a symptom of borderline personality disorder, which I've been diagnosed with. When a person with BPD "splits" on another person, they get a "halo" or "horns" effect. That means that they see the person as only good or only bad. They're either perfect or they're evil, nothing in between. Once I learned about splitting, so many of my relationships throughout my life started to make sense. The Solution I don't really know the proper solution for the negative aspects of my communication. I still split on people a lot. Those who know me well here could probably name at least 2 people I've split white on. Split white is the one where someone is an angel to you no matter what they do. One thing I've learned to do is not tell someone when I've split on them. Whether I've split white or split black, I don't actually want to tell someone, like, "Hey, I'm yours to do whatever you want with forever now. " I've even split on people here on WDC. The rage thing goes away, just so you know. Even if I've split black on someone and I'm rage-filled about it for a while, that subsides. After that, the person is more just like an icky aftertaste. I don't think much about them, but if I run across them, there's just this tainted feeling even if I'm not angry or upset at all with them. In fact, I still care about a lot of people I've split black on. I don't want anything bad for them at all. It's just that I can't get myself back to where we were before the split.I've also tried fighting against the split. I've tried to hold people accountable, even when I've split white on them. I've also tried to open myself up to rekindling relationships with people I've split black on. I've tried slowly starting to paint someone white after I've split that way on them. Honestly, it's a work in progress. It hasn't worked fully so far, but I have been able to be more civil and rational. The bottomline is that I logically know that no one is all good or all bad. Humans are complex creatures. They make mistakes. I can say this with a clear, rational head. But when splitting happens, it's anything but rational. That's the part I'm still working on overcoming. It's really easy for someone I've split white to get back in my good graces after being kind of terrible, and it's really difficult for someone I've split black to get through the wall I put up. I don't know to what extent other people experience this because I've only known and understood my way of thinking forever. Anyone have a perspective to fill me in on? Communication breakdown, it's always the same Havin' a nervous breakdown, drive me insane |
Artist: Cage the Elephant Song: Take It or Leave It [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "JAFBG" : Some people are manipulative as fuck. What are the signs you're being manipulated? I'm pretty pissed off fucked off right now with manipulative people. I don't know if I just notice it more as I get older or if I've somehow suddenly surrounded myself with manipulative people, but regardless, they're here. I've been working on ways to tell when someone's manipulating you. Here's what I've come up with so far: Gaslighting. The narcissist's prayer on this one: "That didn't happen. And if it didn't happen, it wasn't as bad as you're acting. And if it was that bad, it's not a big deal. And if it is a big deal, then it's not my fault. And if it was my fault, I didn't mean to do it. And if I did mean to do it, you deserved it." Being overly impatient. Just constantly throwing things at you and knocking you off balance when you don't respond the correct way immediately. They make you feel stupid for taking time to think because they don't want you to think, and they use their temper to reinforce your self-doubt. "What do you want to do? Oh, you can't decide right now? Say something or I'm going to interpret you not responding in a negative way and make this decision on your behalf." Pretend joking. They're being a gigantic asshole and they know it, but they're gonna pretend they're just kidding and then if you get mad, you're gonna be the asshole. Watch: "I was JUST KIDDING when I asked if you were really going to eat a cookie for dessert in front of all our friends. Oh my god. You literally cannot take a joke. HAHA. You're so uptight. Woooow, I'm just messing with you. Learn to take a joke. Chill out. Jesus, you're no fun at all. Are you seriously mad right now?" The cold shoulder. You said something they disagreed with or confronted them about something that's bothering you. Because you've gone against them, they're going to withdraw their love. They're going to pretend you don't exist because their ego is incredibly fragile. It looks like this: ".............................................................." (3 days later after you've apologized many times for expressing your feelings) "............................................ What are you talking about? I wasn't even ignoring you." I'm the victim, always. Exactly what it sounds like. If you express concern over anything, they're going to pretend they're the victim and you're tormenting them because you're cruel. Like: "How could you call me out on pretending to joke around while simultaneously picking apart your weaknesses? I can't believe you're treating me like this when I'm just now getting over a common cold and haven't been sleeping well! *cue tears*" You talk, I'll judge. Instead of having ideas of their own, they wait until you state your opinion or viewpoint and then they pick it apart without ever actually having a horse in the race because they've not given their opinion. For example: "I asked for your input on this decision we need to make and you responded. Now, how could you possibly think that idea would be a plausible solution to this problem? Here are all the reasons why your suggestion is completely pointless." Professional word spinners. You say one thing and they take your words and completely twist them to fit their narrative about you being terrible. You ask them to take out the trash and it somehow escalates to: "You always say that I don't do anything! If I'm so completely worthless and too stupid to know when the trash should be taken out then why do you even act like you like me!?" Hot and cold. They push your buttons until you lash out and then they imply that you're overreacting. They've intentionally gotten under your skin using a topic and methodology they've learned from you, and then they 180 reverse with: "Oh, hey, it's no reason to get upset.  I was just saying. I'm not upset at all, why are you upset? You're the only one who's upset. I'm confused!  Do you want to go grab lunch?"Nice only sometimes. They're sickeningly sweet only when they want something from you and immediately after you've given them what they want. Any other time, they treat you lukewarm at best and they certainly won't be willing to do anything for you. Looks like: When they want something from you: "You were always such a good writer. Way better than me! Seriously thank you soooo much for agreeing to edit my resume. You're a lifesaver. I have no idea what I would do without you." Soon after doing the favor for them: Either no response to communication at all or just a very lukewarm response as though you're inconveniencing them by speaking to them, like, "Oh, um, hey... I've been fine. I haven't talked to you for 5 months because I've been busy, but I might need a favor soon, so...." That's all I've got for now. Do you have any other ways to tell you're being manipulated??Sweet wheel of death keeps us holding our breath I step to the right, you move to the left |
Artist: Nirvana Song: Heart-Shaped Box [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "Invalid Item" : Prompt 3 - What do generations misunderstand about each other? Talk about your generation, the generation before you, and the generation after you. How were their experiences the same and how were they different? How do those different experiences shape our viewpoints? I was born in 1991, so my generation is the dreaded Millennials/Generation Y. That means I'm sandwiched between Generation X (1965-1979) and Gen Z (late 90s to 2010s). Baby Boomers narrowly escaped my ranting. Juuuust kidding.I honestly don't think there's much of a difference between generations. Like, they're all raised under different conditions and thus have different experiences and perspectives, but they're all still humans. There are assholes in every generation and I'm not buying at all that younger generations are more whiny/entitled. I've worked in retail. Older generations bought into that whole "the customer is always right" thing way more than the younger generations did. People of all ages have the capacity to be dicks. There are some notable differences between generations though. For example, the generation after mine grew up entirely with electronics in the home and don't remember a pre-9/11 world. I think they're more used to government security and a lack of privacy. Because they grew up without a lot of privacy, I think they're not as protective of it as previous generations. In fact, most of them use public social media to account for all their thoughts and actions, which is something that previous generations couldn't conceive of doing (although many people from the older generations have picked up on it now and choose to do the same). When I was a kid, common families were starting to get personal computers in the home and mobile phones. I think my family got their first PC when I was 8 or 9 years old. By the time I turned 18 in 2009, everyday people were starting to walk around with little computers in their pockets. Obviously with wearable technology and tablets, technology has only become more and more pervasive. There's a big difference between the generation before me where you'd need to find a payphone to call back to your family's house phone when you were out and the generation after me where you can press a button on your watch and speak to a robot voice that will type out what you've said and send the message to your mom's watch. Generational differences are one of those things where everyone simultaneously claims that their generation had it worse but were somehow better. My generation is often accused of ruining things like tourism, the wedding industry, homeownership, and other things that we just straight up can't afford to participate in at the level of the generations before us. We've inherited an economic state where wage rates haven't even kept up with inflation. The cost of healthcare, student debt, and home prices have all increased at a higher rate than wage rates. Those things that other generations were able to do are just not feasible for my generation or Gen Z right below mine.The way each generation grows up is so unique and deeply part of their identity that I think people sometimes close their mind off to each other. Everyone thinks their way of doing things was the best or most pure way. The toys when you were a kid were the best toys. The music and movies were the best. The communication and connection with others was the best. The general day-to-day life was the best. It's nostalgia. We miss the times in our lives where we had less responsibility, less pessimism, and more time. Because we miss that, we can't imagine someone else feeling the same way about what we consider to be a completely different world. That's my take on generational differences, anyway. I think there are good and bad aspects to every decade. With rose-tinted glasses, we cherry pick the positives from our past and at the same time any of the negatives about the past were things our generation endured through excellent resilience and survival skills. She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks |
Artist: The Doors Song: People are Strange [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "Invalid Item" : Prompt 2 - What rites of passage have you experienced that you think everyone will experience at some point in their life? In other words, tell us about your notable experiences that are key to the human experience. I want to make sure I do the full first week of "Invalid Item" this month just to see how much it really is. I only have one more entry after this one and one review and we're barely into the 2nd day of the month, so I'm pretty confident that it's not very time-consuming at all. You never really know until you do something yourself. But I'm estimating that I'll spend maybe 2.5 hours doing the first week of the challenge, which is really nothing. And that includes commenting on everyone's written entries and Topic of the Week post. Not too bad.So, rites of passage. On this one, I was thinking of things that everyone must go through at some point. Here are some of the rites of passages I've experienced that I think everyone will experience if they live long enough.  Heartbreak.Have you even lived until you've metaphorically had your heart ripped out of your chest? At some point or another, everyone is going to experience unrequited love or a devastating breakup. It's not always some major dramatic thing. Sometimes it's a subtle, quiet thing that's just as painful, if not more so. Someone just slips between your fingers or something like that. It's definitely a rite of passage in life. Loss.People don't live forever. At some point, we'll all experience an absolutely gut-wrenching loss. Nothing is promised. That's why it's so important to be forthcoming with how you feel about people while you have time. Surprise failure.The worst kind of failure is surprise failure. You've planned everything out in your head, you've done everything right, and yet... Things aren't linear. At some point, you'll be fired or miss out on a promotion even though you've worked your ass off and done everything you were supposed to do. You'll realize that you don't want something or you've taken your life in the wrong direction. The formulaic life can only take you so far, you can't account for all variables. Surprise success.On the opposite end of the spectrum, sometimes life's nonlinear path will work in your favor and something amazing will just fall right into your lap. I know I've had it happen. A completely random event that turns out to be very much so in your favor. A matter of right place, right time. You're just minding your own business when an opportunity appears. You have to be ready to heed those chances. Existential crisis.Some of us will be in an existential crisis for our entire life, apparently. But even if you're not one of those types, you'll definitely have a time period where you're entirely unsure of your life's purpose and value. What am I doing? Why am I even here? Is this all there is to life? Am I making the right decisions? Is all of this pointless? I have zero advice to overcome an existential crisis, but I'm all ears if anyone else has advice for me. Prompt via "Blogging Circle of Friends " : What is something blogging has taught you about yourself? I like this prompt so I thought I'd drop a few lines here too. I've been blogging here for over 5 years and here are a couple things I've learned about myself:  I can write about anything.Sometimes I encounter a prompt and I just have no idea what to do with it. Blogging has taught me that if you take a minute to think imaginatively, you can come up with anything on any topic. Don't think in terms of "I have no experience with that so I can't write about it." That's not what writers should do. Sometimes I have to take a couple minutes to research something. Sometimes my entry isn't entirely stellar. But as long as I'm willing to put forward a bit of thought and effort, I can write on any topic. I can talk to anyone.Interaction is absolutely so important when you're blogging on WDC (or doing any type of writing). Look, best case scenario, you're going to comment on a bunch of people's entries and get maybe half of them to read your entries and comment on them as well. I've learned that even if I really disagree with someone's ideology or opinions, I can still communicate with them through our blogs. Especially if we're writing on the same prompt, I can start to see people's perspectives that I'd never have on my own. My best advice for anyone who wants more interaction on WDC is to 1) blog (which includes reading/commenting on other people's blogs and 2) review. Also, post your entries where they'll be visible to others. I can be pretty open.I've surprised myself in my ability to be honest and genuine in my blog. In real life, I have even more of a wall up than I do here. I think the fact that I can maintain a little bit of anonymity here helps me to be more open about my real life experiences. In practice, I don't go around telling people about my feelings or anything that's going on with me. That means a lot of people on WDC who might read my blog know more about my life than people who actually know me out in the world. Strange! People are strange when you're a stranger Faces look ugly when you're alone |
Artist: Brand New Song: Jesus Christ [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "Invalid Item" : Prompt 1 - Have you ever felt like you're missing out in life? Describe a time when you missed an experience that you believe would have been rewarding. What can we do to make sure we're not missing out on important life experiences? I actually never thought about this until I started university. Once I saw people who were 18 years old, living in the dorms with their parents supporting them, I got FOMO (fear of missing out) for the first time in my life. It made me start thinking about overarching things I'd missed out over the years. It wasn't just a matter of the people around me being younger than me, coming from more supportive families, it made me question everything. It made me think about where I grew up and all the opportunities I'd missed out on by growing up in a very rural area. I was more or less competing with people who'd had college classes and internships while they were still in high school. People whose high schools offered business classes like accounting and economics (which were most certainly not offered in my school, even if I'd not dropped out). The weirdest thing to me was how people didn't even seem to notice that they had this major advantage in life. They went to some of the best private prep schools in our state and just think that's standard. They're like, "Wait, so this is your first accounting class? " It took me a while to get over that feeling like I'd missed out on important experiences, like staying in a dorm room at 18 years old in college and graduating at 22. Like just going to class and drinking at night because you don't have to worry about paying bills or working. If you're someone who had that opportunity, that's awesome, but just know that you were privileged in that regard. Being kicked out of my house and having to leave school sophomore year of high school made it nearly impossible to get myself back into a position to go to university. Of course, that means I never had those traditional high school things like prom and graduation. See the rabbit-hole this all led me down? It became a lot of hey, I never got to do that and I only had one chance to do it. I don't even know anyone from high school at this point because I left halfway through and lost contact with everyone. I've overcome this FOMO for the most part though. I've realized that I also had a ton of experiences that other people will never experience. Not all of them were good, but all of them have made my life what it is. I've gotten myself back on my feet and I'm nearly graduated at this point, so it all works out in the end, I guess. I think having certain experiences would have helped my personal development and I think not having certain other experiences would have helped my personal development, but hopefully I'm a well-rounded enough person because of it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ In order to not miss out in life... I think there are a couple things we can do: Say "yes" more frequently. Not everything in life is a major experience, but by turning down offers to do things all the time, you definitely limit your experiences overall. Even if it's something small (like joining a writing activity), I think we should just give things a go more often. Worst case scenario, you don't enjoy or complete whatever you've committed yourself to. Try not to compare yourself to others. This is the most difficult one for me. When I started university, I had such jaded feelings because of my history vs. other people's histories. That's totally the wrong way to look at situations. I should have looked at things in a more positive way because my other life experiences led me to make less mistakes, change my major less, and find something I enjoy. I also have my own advantages and privileges in life, so it's always good to recognize those. Also stay away from social media if you're the type of person who will look at other people's feeds and start feeling bad about what you're doing in your day-to-day life. Keep in mind that you're looking at other people's highlight reels. Seek out new experiences. Don't just wait until an experience comes along and commit to saying 'yes' to it. I mean, that's something you should consider doing, for sure, but opportunities don't always just fall into your lap. You also have to make an effort to experience things. Even if it's something small like taking a day trip somewhere, learning a new language, reading something outside of your usual genre, writing outside of your comfort zone, etc. you're still getting a new experience. Do you believe you're missing out? That everything good is happening somewhere else? |
Artist: Daughter Song: Youth [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "JAFBG" : Relationships don't work when they're one-sided. Tell us about a relationship or friendship where you have to make all the effort. Why do you continue to do so? I couldn't break my July blogging streak! Gotta get that last day in. Luckily, I have my JAFBG back up prompt.If you're looking for something to do in August, you'll find me and several other participants from this month's "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" over at
My first thought on this prompt is, fuck that. I've luckily managed to gain enough self-esteem to stay out of these types of relationships for the most part. I don't want to be friends with you (or anything else) if I have to do all the work. If I have to be the first one to make contact with you every time, if I have to travel to you every time, if I have to keep every conversation going, if I'm being used in some way... just no.100% not interested. That being said... there are exceptions. Professional contacts. Networking absolutely sucks. But you need to have professional contacts and references. I've gained several through university and community outreach. Not all of them, but probably 80% of them are people I'd never chill with in real life. They're either super uptight or just stuck up acting. But see, those people have nothing to gain from knowing me. I've not even graduated yet. They're well into their careers. They don't really get anything out of connecting with me and keeping in touch. That's a situation where I feel comfortable putting more effort into the relationship, because I'm doing it to get something out of it. They know it, I know it. It's just a game you have to play. It's not like a have pure intentions. "I just wanna be your friiiiiiend.  "Nah, like, when a future employer contacts you, I want you to tell them I'm chill. That's the extent of our relationship. Family. This is the big one for me right now. I put forth all of the effort with my family. They don't contact me much at all. I'd say I contact them first at least 75% of the time. As far as actually seeing each other, I'm the one that travels to visit them 100% of the time. I do this now because my brothers both have babies and I figure traveling is probably inconvenient for them. My grandfather isn't comfortable driving long distances. My parents... yeah, I've got nothing there. But I doubt I'll do this forever. Once I'm working a strict 9-5 schedule, I seriously doubt I'm gonna spend my weekend traveling to visit so that people can make me feel guilty for not doing it more frequently. I do have a soft spot for family though. No matter what anyone tells me about you choosing your own family or whatever, it just doesn't sit with my life well. There's no way I could ever just be like well, you guys aren't my family anymore and these guys are family to me now. Too much catholic guilt for that. If I fucked up. Pretty much self-explanatory. If our relationship is fucked up because I fucked it up, I have no problem putting forth all the effort to fix it. There's nothing wrong with having a little bit of humility and showing that you're worth another chance. Also, I hate when people refuse to do this with me. Like, they completely fucked up, they admit they completely fucked up, and their response is like, "K, sorry. Forgive me now or I leave forever." What kind of bullshit is that? Apologizing is like the absolute bare minimum you could possibly do and you can't even do that sincerely?Like I said, 100% not interested. Shadows settle on the place that you left Our minds are troubled by the emptiness |
Artist: The Clash Song: Train in Vain [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : How do you celebrate your successes? Oh wow, last prompt of the month? The last day is always so sad. It's like we're being torn apart even though we're probably gonna do this again soon. It is slightly extra sad for me though because I'm starting my last semester of university in August and I know I'm not going to have time to complete a full month of anything again for quite some time probably. Anyway, I won't get mushy. Suffice it to say that it has been an absolute pleasure blogging with all of you this month and I really appreciate you taking the time to stop by my blog and read/comment. If you happen to find yourself missing me in August (), you can find me over at "Invalid Item" and here in my blog some too. I mostly celebrate my successes by doing absolutely nothing. That's because success almost always follows countless, tireless days of work and effort. When I finish I semester of school, I usually just lay in bed and sleep on and off for a couple days straight. That's my celebration. Just silence and freedom to do nothing without worrying. If I actually "celebrate" my own successes, it's almost always for the sake of someone else. For example, around my wedding we had the post-engagement party, pre-wedding family dinner a few days before, then the actual wedding with all of the traditional bullshit, and then the reception. I wanted to do, ya know, none of that. Kira wanted to do, um, none of that. It was 90% my ma and 10% hers. We didn't care about doing any of the traditional wedding things. But my dear ol' mom looked at me with large puppy dog eyes and said, "But, Charlie, it will make me h a p p y." How am I supposed to say no to that? And I'm very easy in that area. Someone can be like, "Yo, so, I'm gonna punch you in the face because it will make me very happy." And I'll be like, "Well, I mean, if it will make you very happy..." Then, of course, there's alcohol. My ex was very fancy with celebrations. He'd be like, "We have this very fine champagne cognac just for this occasion!" He'd have, like, a special celebratory table cloth? Just weird-ass stuff I'd never seen before. For my birthday one year, he spent all day cooking dinner and when I arrived, everything was the 'celebratory' version of itself. The celebratory champagne cognac with the celebratory champagne glasses and the celebratory dim lighting. The celebratory fine china with the celebratory tablecloth and the matching celebratory serviettes.I was like, you do realize that I've done literally nothing aside from staying alive for another year, right? That being said, I do plan on hardcore celebrating my university graduation in December. I've been chipping away at this goal for years and there's no way I'm going to just finish finals this fall and move on with my life like, you know, an adult. I'm definitely probably going to celebrate for like a solid week. You have to do the initial mad drunken "idgaf" party and then the graduation dinner with Kira, and the graduation party with family, and the graduation parties for my friends who are graduating with me. I don't even care about my birthday which will be the same week. I'm just beyond stoked to be finishing school. I guess different things are cause for different types of celebration. You only have one undergrad graduation, so that should be celebrated. But things that happen every year? I care exponentially less. All the times When we were close I'll remember these things the most |
Artist: Green Day Song: Jaded [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : Reflect on the month as a whole. Any highlights from your personal life? Challenges? What were your favorite prompts from the 30DBC? Did you learn anything from or about your fellow competitors? I've had a better July than I thought I'd have. After my June, I figured I wouldn't be able to find any semblance of relaxation this month. July was the only month this year where I'd only have to work. I was in summer classes in June and I'll start the fall semester in August. So, my best highlight from July is that I was actually able to relax, write, and read. I wrote over 15,000 words for Camp NaNo, which is short of my goal by a little bit, but there are still a couple days. I've all but finished "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . And I have "Invalid Item" up and ready to go for August's challenge after a couple month hiatus. I also read 3 books in full. I've had a habit the past several years of starting a book, getting 40% of the way through and then forgetting about it. I'm planning to sign up for August's round of "CLOSED!The Monthly Reading Challenge" and get a few more books under my belt before I head back to my final semester of university.I've always said that blogging is the best part of WDC. If it weren't for the initial blogging challenge (Soundtrackers) that I did two weeks after joining the site, I wouldn't still be around WDC. It's just the best way to connect to other writers in the community. Reviewing + Blogging = my WDC jam. I think I've met a couple people blogging this time around. tah20 and Eric Wharton  possibly?  Other than that, I've blogged with everyone before and I honestly know them so well that I can almost predict what they're going to write on a given prompt. Like Robert Waltz and QPdoll  for example. I feel like I read a prompt and kind of know the general direction they're going to go with it. Not because they're not spontaneous or whatever, but just because I've blogged with them a lot before. It doesn't make it less interesting, it's just fun to be like, "I knew you were gonna say that!" The prompts this month have been totally killing it. There have been so many great ones that I really had to think about when getting started with my entry. Here are a couple of my favorites from the month: If you were to give a TED talk, what would it be about? Gave me a chance to write about finance, which is something I really enjoy doing! Today, let’s talk movies. What was the most recent movie you watched? Have you been to the theater recently? What movie are you looking forward to? What is your favorite movie of all time? Just because I watch a lot of movies and I'm always looking for new movie recommendations. Make a list of five things you wish you could be a master of. Be sure to explain why you chose what you did. It was cool to see what people wanted to master (besides writing)!Overall, a really good month of strong prompts. I've enjoyed so many of them. Always move forward Going straight will get you nowhere |
Artist: Soul Asylum Song: Runaway Train [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : What does “vacation” mean to you? Alone time or time with friends and family? Staying close to home or traveling far afield? Spendy or thrifty? I think of a "vacation" as any period of time in which I don't need to work or do schoolwork. If 16 hours of my day aren't occupied, I'm pretty much on vacation. This entire summer has been one big vacation for me because I'm just working. Doing just one or the other is a huge break. As far as along vs with people, it just depends. I like to spend about 80% of my time with at least one person and the other 20% alone. It's my 80/20 rule. I don't do very well on my own because my mental health can slip very easily when I have too much time to think. But I do like to have quiet and space to read and write. I think that's a form of vacation. I'm not much for traveling far though at this point. I get motion sickness in anything that moves. It doesn't matter if it's a plane, train, or automobile, I'm going to get sick if I'm traveling in it. That means I have to take motion sickness medication every single time I travel. If I go on a 3-day road trip, I have to be on medication for 3 days. A lot of those medications (like dramamine) really make you space out pretty badly if you're affected by the side effects, which I am. I have entire trips that are just kind of a blur because I was so heavily spaced out and almost dissociating for days at a time. That's not a fun trip. I mean, that's fine if I'm in the middle of lectures and just wanna disconnect from reality, but not when you're paying money and you're supposed to be enjoying a vacation. For that reason, I'm pretty thrifty with vacations. I tend to have a better time on a short trip. So, if I have a week of vacation, I'd rather go somewhere relatively close by or easy to get to for 3 or 4 days and then have a few days leftover at home. Plus, there are plenty of things to do where I live. I haven't even come close to touching everything that's available in my own city. So tired that I couldn't even sleep So many secrets I couldn't keep |
Artist: Pink Floyd Song: Money [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : If you were to give a TED talk, what would it be about? Sometimes a prompt just reads my mind. We got to choose our own topic yesterday and I was kicking myself for not giving some financial advice. My TED Talk would 100% be about personal finance. I've spent the past 4 years learning accounting, finance, and economics. I've been working in the community to help individuals and small businesses with financial budgeting and planning.There are some things I hear over and over. I just want to wipe out all of the financial misconceptions! People are so scared finance because financial stress is so immensely draining. You don't have to be scared of finance. You don't have to be rich to take care of your finances and you certainly don't need to be a genius. Trust me, I'm a very average person in both regards. NOTE: This is for personal finance in the United States. I don't have enough international finance experience to give advice in that regard. Things you should know about personal finance: Credit cards are NOT bad. I've spoken to many people who have beamed at me proudly and proclaimed, "I don't have any credit cards!  " Great, so you don't have credit card debt, but you aren't particularly doing yourself any favors. Credit is very important and I have one of the highest possible credit scores a person can have.Credit cards help you build credit. Put all of your groceries, bills, gasoline, etc. on credit cards and pay them in full each month. Do not fear loans. Certain debts are perfectly okay. It's better to get a decent car on a manageable monthly payment than it is to drive an unreliable car that constantly breaks down and needs work. What you're doing when you put bills on credit cards and then pay them off or get a necessary loan and pay all the payments is prove to companies, "Hey, you can trust me. See? People loan me money and I pay it back on time consistently." Don't be afraid of these types of debt. Just have self-control and only put on a credit card what you're able to pay back in full that month. Moving up a tax bracket is perfectly fine. I've had people tell me, "Well, I don't want to move up a tax bracket because then I'll be taxed more and actually end up earning less!" That's not how tax brackets work at all. The United States has what is called a marginal tax rate system. You are only taxed the higher tax rate on the income that falls into that higher tax bracket. Example: Tax rate Taxable income 10% $0 to $9,700 12% $9,701 to $39,475 22% $39,476 to $84,200 24% $84,201 to $160,725 These are the applicable tax rates for 2018-2019. Okay, so say you're earning $35,000 of taxable income a year. You owe 10% on $9,700 (= $970). You owe 12% on the remainder ($35,000-9,700 = $25,300) and 12% of $25,300 = $3,036. Total amount in taxes owed = $970 for the $9,700 at 10% + $3,036 for the remaining $25,300 at 12% = $4,006. But what's this! A new job! AND it pays $45,000 in taxable income. You lucky bastard! "Buuuut, now I'm in a way higher tax bracket 22% vs 12%??? It's not even worth it!  "Fear not! Your new tax bill looks like this: 10% on $9,700 = $970 12% on $29,775 = $3,573 22% on $5,525 = $1,216 Total taxes owed = $5,759 New bill ($5,759) - Old bill ($4,006) = $1,753 more owed under new salary. But, your taxable income was $10,000 more annually. That means you're making ($10,000-1,753) = $8,247 more annually with your new job!  Long story short, don't fear moving up a tax bracket. Don't go cheap on necessities. You need dish soap, right? For the love of all that is holy, don't go to the store and get the cheapest $0.69 bottle of dish soap. It will be runny, watery, and utterly useless. Same goes for toilet paper, sanitary products, shoes, tires, makeup, condoms, trash bags, etc... People always start to tell me about this really good off-brand WHATEVER they get at the store. Cool. If you know of a high quality, uber cheap toothbrush, go for it. But keep in mind that not buying the cheapest thing doesn't mean you have to buy the most expensive thing. There are grey areas. You don't want to buy the $0.60 4 rolls of toilet paper. Trust me. You will go through it so quickly because it's like half of 1 ply. So unless you plan to not clean yourself properly after using the bathroom, you 100% will need to buy more very quickly. It adds up. That doesn't mean you need to go to the store and buy the most expensive quadruple-ply name brand toilet paper. Find a quality, affordable middle ground on these types of products. Your quality of life will be better and your pocketbook will thank you. Buying is not necessarily better than renting. I've heard people say that "paying for rent is like burning money." Nope. Not even close. You have to have somewhere to live. Buying is not always the best option. For example, if getting a mortgage is going to put you up to your neck in a monthly mortgage payments because you can't afford a larger down payment right now, renting while saving may be a better option. If you can only afford a house in a rundown area where property values are dropping by the day, you may find yourself with a depreciating asset. If you have no idea where you want to live and are potentially planning to move soon, it may not be a good idea to commit to a 30-year mortgage. Keep in mind that nothing is promised when buying a house. Maintenance and upkeep falls squarely on your shoulders. If a renter's air conditioning goes out, they call their landlord and their landlord must fix the air conditioning at no cost to the renter. If you buy a house and the air conditioning goes out, you may be looking at a $5,000+ bill. Inspections can't and don't catch everything. I've encountered and personally known many people whose houses passed inspection only to have a major malfunction within the first couple years of ownership. You also need to consider property taxes, homeowner's insurance, and HOA fees when buying a house. So, no, renting an apartment or property is not "literally burning money." There's no such thing as a guaranteed appreciating asset and there are plenty of logical reasons for a person to rent instead of purchasing.Every person can do a financial budget. You don't need to have extensive financial planning knowledge. You don't need to know how to use excel. You don't need to know how to do accounting. You don't need to be rich. You don't need to hire a professional. It's as simple as this: Money inflow vs. Money outflow How much money do you have coming in each month? How much money do you have going out each month? Here is how you create a financial budget: Step 1: List your fixed monthly inflows of cash. Do you have a job? Do you get paid every two weeks? Is it the same amount every two weeks? If so, this part is very easy. If your income varies, find your average monthly income. You know better than anyone how much money is going to enter your bank account this month. Do you get government benefits? Is it the same amount each month? Whatever the case, find this amount first. Step 2: Find your fixed expenses. Fixed expenses are consistent amounts you pay every single month. Examples: Rent/Mortgage, Car/Homeowner/Renter/Health/Life Insurances that are paid monthly, Phone bill, Internet/Cable bill, Car payment, Medications, Any monthly debt repayments, Electricity/Water/Other utilities (you should generally know what these are each month even though they may slightly vary depending on the season). Step 3: Find your variable expenses. Variable expenses are expenses that change each month. A lot of people spend a variable amount on groceries each month. You might have a rough range, but if it changes quite a bit depending on your mood or how often you get takeout, this is a variable expense. Other things are quarterly bill payments (some people pay certain insurances quarterly or yearly), discretionary spending (movie tickets, concert tickets, trips, starbucks, shopping at the mall, eating takeout, getting your hair or nails done, buying books ()), gasoline, car maintenance (oil changes, rotating tires, etc.), and other non-regular expenses. Step 4: Find where you can save money. In case you haven't guessed it, it's VERY difficult to save money on fixed expenses. Sure, you can cut your cable TV if you want. You can lower your phone bill, maybe. But otherwise, those are just expenses that you're going to have each month regardless.Most people have no idea how much money they spend on variable expenses, especially those discretionary items. How often do you stop off for takeout instead of eating something at home? How often do you grab a coffee when you're out, or see some clothes or books on sale that you can't pass up? I don't know the answer to that, but you can look at your past statements and figure that out really quickly. A lot of people don't even realize that they've just spent $100 on groceries for the week and then ended up getting takeout 3 times for a total of $50 in a week while the groceries they bought are sitting at home going bad. Figure out where you can potentially cut costs. Step 5: Figure out how much discretionary income you really have in the first place. Take those cash inflows (your income) and subtract out all of the the fixed expenses. Now, take that remainder and subtract out all of the variable costs that are necessities. Yes, gasoline is a variable cost, but go ahead and find an average given your past gasoline expenditures and subtract that out. Same for quarterly insurances, common car maintenance bills, and groceries.Now look at your remainder. Step 6: Emergency funds. Yes, you need emergency funds. We all do. You never know when you're going to fall ill and be out of work, have to fix something more major than common maintenance on your car, or lose your job. The goal is to have 3x your monthly income in an emergency fund. That means if you make $2,000 a month, your goal is to have $6,000 in emergency savings. This will cover your basic needs in case of an emergency.If you can't do that right now, don't panic. That's what you're striving to reach. But, you have to know, that if you're nowhere near having an emergency fund, you sadly don't have anything left in your discretionary income. Basically, you don't have any "fun" money. That doesn't mean you can't do fun things, but you should really try to limit things like starbucks, takeout, and splurging on sales for items that aren't necessities. Step 7: Keep up with your budget. You've seen now how much money you have leftover at the end of the month. You've thought about your emergency funds. If you do have some money leftover, congratulations! Go see a movie or something to celebrate. If you don't have any money leftover, you can at least see how your income is allocated and which areas you can try to reduce costs in. Just keep in mind, as I said before, don't try to go ultra-cheap on things that are going to end up costing you more money in the long run. Update your budget as your income and expenses change. This is very similar to a diet in that you SHOULD NOT think of it as a diet. Think of it as a lifestyle change. You're fundamentally changing your behaviors, be it eating habits or spending habits. There is no end date to either. I've tortured you enough! Some of this stuff might seem common sense, but there's a difference between generally knowing something and actually doing it. Unfortunately, my field isn't in motivation. Knowing is half the battle. Don't be scared to roll up your sleeves and dig into your finances. Your financial situation remains the same whether you're informed of it or ignorant to it, so give yourself a leg up. Money, get away Get a good job with good pay and you're okay Money, it's a gas Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash |
Artist: Elliott Smith Song: First Timer [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : I need your help to fill the Challenge War Chest with new prompts. Write four blogging prompts and choose one of your own to write your entry on. Okies, let's see... 1. List some of your favorite books/movies and explain why you like them. After posting your entry, go comment on other bloggers' entries with suggestions based on their favorites. 2. Describe your sense of humor. Is it dark, sarcastic, slapstick, silly, or something else? Do you have any favorite comedians? 3. What words, sayings, or phrases do you think are overused? Are you guilty of overusing any of them? 4. Have you ever boycotted a company or product? If so, tell us the story. If not, what would a company have to do for you to boycott its products? 5. What event from your lifetime do you see as the biggest catalyst for change in the world? That was fun. Okay, I can't do #1 without everyone else doing it. Aaaand... I just realized the prompt was 4, not 5 prompts. I thought really hard on that last one too. So, I'll go ahead and do that one: What event from your lifetime do you see as the biggest catalyst for change in the world? I mostly thought of this one because I think some of the bloggers who are older than me could have interesting responses to this one. I was born at the tail end '91 so I haven't been around for a lot of the major events that have shaken the world or taken us in new directions as a society. If I'm thinking of the one even that has been the biggest catalyst for change since 1991, I think 9/11 takes the cake for me. But, remember, my world is small. I live in the US, and in fact lived in the northeast during 2001. I'm sure there have been other events between 1991 and 2019 that have spurred a lot of change. Although, it's too difficult to predict the full scope and impact of any super recent events. Things are changing all the time. Don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a rant of any sort. I was young during 9/11. I wasn't even 10 years old yet. But when I think of society, especially American society, I still think of it in terms of pre-9/11 and post-9/11. I was young enough to not fully understand what was going on. I knew a lot of adults were sad and angry. We were watching live on TV in class when the second plane crashed. It was very surreal for me at that age, and probably surreal for everyone else too regardless of age. From my perspective, this event spurred fear and I think that fear is still pervasive in our society today. If this could happen, what else could happen? Who is dangerous? How can people feel safe? Hopefully this doesn't offend anyone, but I also think it contributed to people having less empathy. I saw my community become even more pro-war than usual. I think people who tend to straddle the fence on war were like, "Okay, well, we were provoked." It was weird for me at that age to see so many people starving for vengeance and just wanting so much death and destruction. I don't think we've recovered from that mentality yet, and yes, I understand the US' history in this arena. But for me, it became much more obvious, loud, and just pervasive. I think a lot of the things we experience now and have done as a country since then are directly related. I think of you with hesitation I think of you too hard |
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