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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 11:02 Okay, so I'm fairly new to blogging and I'm new to WDC too so I haven't read many blogs, inspirational or otherwise. This is going to be hard! Yesterday, I read a fun blog entry by Charlie ~  : "Invalid Entry"  which contained many facts that I did not know. I'm actually searching for blogs to link to as I'm writing my entry so the time on this one is probably going to be way over the usual! So I've just read the blog entry of MD Maurice which was rather moving: "My Reluctant Little Star" The blog entry of Apondia  was quite shocking and reminded me that humans can be giant douchebags. "Not Fond of Mind Blowing Events" And lastly, this blog entry by WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024  was rather sweet at the end, in my opinion: "Nurture" "Just Right" by Robert Waltz  was thought-provoking. End time: 11:46 That was hard work!  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 20:46 I have no idea. I'm sure I've had a few over the years - I'm pretty easy to impress - but I can't recall exactly what they were about. Generally, listening to Muslim speakers talking in-depth about my religion blows my mind as I feel so much more connected with Islam and God at that point. I'll just talk about that. You see, for a long time, I thought religion was only understood by the scholars and my sister had cassettes upon cassettes (remember those? Or am I going too far back into the past? ) of hours-long talks in Urdu. That always used to put me off. It was like it wasn't open to me - it was open to serious people who read the hard-to-understand books in tiny Urdu print. Although I was born in a country where Urdu is the main language, I was brought up on a regional dialect and Urdu had to be learnt. I was not a terribly good student. I still struggle with the language. And then YouTube happened. My God! I have a lot of complaints about YouTube (one of them being that I am hopelessly addicted to video-surfing) but it certainly opened a lot of doors for a lot of people. I'm pretty certain the idea of English-speaking Muslim scholars and general speakers wasn't a new thing - Islam is not confined to one race so of course all these Muslims who spoke languages other than mine had to get their Friday sermons and their general Islamic education from somewhere! But English-speaking scholars who gave anything up to hour-long lectures were now available to me, a small-town Asian girl whose horizons had never expanded that far beyond the boundaries of her own culture and local community. I got to see Islam in an entirely new perspective - I got to see it and experience it for myself, rather than by the culture-hashed version I'd been brought up with. I got to form a personal connection with my Lord and I found out how to nurture it and let it make me a better person. All in all, I guess YouTube blew my mind!  And that's fourteen minutes! I need to go and prepare the food for my iftar! The fast opens in about five minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 20:33 This challenging is really opening my eyes to new things! First the Goldilocks Rule and now this! It does make sense. I know people who've cut back on their careers to focus on their family. I know people who work like they breathe. I don't know many people who've given up a bit of everything to balance it all out. In any case, how do you attain a balance of everything? I spend a fair amount of time with my family - that is, my own mum, dad, sister, and brother and the little hooligans who are an extended package with my siblings. Not much time with my husband though, although I am always with my little boy (aside from when he's at the childminder's). I don't work (kinda/sorta/maybe. It's weird). I don't see my friends very often (like, a few times a year). As for health, I'm trying to look out for that, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job. Only venturing out of the house for quick trips to the shops once or twice a week certainly doesn't help. I try walking when I can to get to the places I need to go, but it's not a regularly-occurring thing so I don't think it does much good. I try to eat the right food, but I either don't eat enough or I eat too much. I'm trying to stay away from dairy foods (a hard job for someone with a huge love of cheese and ice cream!) and sugary stuff (again, ice cream! And fizzy sweets!  ) but I have moments where I'm like "to hell with it!" and allow myself to scoff. They're not cheat days either - once the intention to stay away from that stuff is ignored, I will consume every sugary thing I can get my hands on. ...I have no idea where this "discussion" is going. It's not even a discussion, is it? Two of the four burners might as well not apply to me so I have no idea what my thoughts are on it, except that I guess all of my burners are a bit stunted. And that's seventeen minutes...well, eighteen now - another minute passed by while I was trying to work out now long it had been! Don't judge - I'm hungry and sleepy! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 12:03 I find that a lot of the time, I do push things into the "way too hard" category, and so I leave them off even though I know that with a little bit of effort, I can do it. Examples, making a correction on a canvas, sewing a garment, writing a story. These are all easy tasks - or maybe in the just beyond what I can achieve with absolute ease, so in the optimal zone between easy and hard - but in my head they get overblown and it just becomes another excuse for me to be lazy. I didn't know there was such a thing as the Goldilocks Rule though, so thanks to Emily  for pointing it out! If you learn to look at things in a new way, maybe it leads to tackling things in a new way? In any case, I shall think about the things I need to do a bit more closely now. I'm learning a few languages at the moment - nothing big, just via a free app on my phone. I'm not putting in huge amounts of effort to learn them, which is why it's taking me so long just to get the basics down. The biggest motivator I have is that I have nearly 100 consecutive days of learning on some of them and I want to keep going. Japanese is a big one - I've been learning bits and pieces since I was an avid anime fan (although the "avidness" has gone down in recent years due to life commitments) but last year I came across an ad for a Japanese teacher based locally. Of course i went for it. Since then, my understanding has slowly been growing. Even so, when it comes to Memrise, I'm still a bit half-hearted. Korean especially. I'm finding that a bit difficult so instead of challenging myself, I keep going over the same handful of words and expressions that I first learned some months ago. I need to stop being lazy!  That's thirteen minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 10:30 What does it mean to nurture/be nurtured? Well, the obvious answer that comes to mind is the relationship between a mother and child. Especially a small child. My little boy is just three and of course, he relies on me wholly for his basic needs. I nurture him by feeding him, comforting him when he needs it, keeping him clean, etc. I nurture my kitten (I was thinking of the word "neutered" there!) in that I put his food out for him, clean his litter, wipe his paws if he gets any of his poop on them (what a pain in the ass!) and generally obliging when he wants petting. I also nurture my husband in a way because he's an overgrown baby at times who expects things to be done for him - growing up in a family (and culture!) where the women are all too willing to be at the beck and call of the men will do that to a person, I guess. I try to put him in his place whenever I can As for whether anyone nurtures me, I don't think so. For me at this point in time, being nurtured suggests somebody being there to support me through thick and thin. It means someone who can listen and someone who can tell me where I'm going wrong. It means someone who's willing to sit out my boring-ass messages about writing and the story ideas I've had. There is no one like that. I suppose no one has the time anymore, if they ever did. Or perhaps it's about having common interests - none of my friends are interested in writing, so whenever I post up a message related to storytelling, I get ignored. ...Okay, I'll stop now. I could go on forever! That's fourteen minutes. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 10:11 Today's entry is brought to you through the eyes of my kitten, Dean: The room smells like spices and sweat. It's enormous. Oh, a place to hide! Let's get in. I'm invisible! I'm invincible! Maybe I'll settle down for a nap... "Dean?" I sit up at the sound of my name. The voice is familiar. My human. My overly strict human who will now try to pull me out of my hiding place and shut me out of this room! The other human is here too, on his back and letting out enormous snores. He is the source of the strong smell. "Dean!" I crawl further into the corner, though I can't resist peeking towards the opening of my hiding place. The whole thing moves and I see her face blocking out the light. "There you are!" she says. "Come on! Get out of there!" I don't move. I want to stay here! She groans and pulls the mattress away from the wall and makes her way towards me. I dig my claws into floor, lowering my head over my paws, but it doesn't help. She has come to get me! A meow of protest leaves my lips as she scoops me up in her hands. She gives my head a rub, right between the ears. Aaaah, that feels good... She's not so bad really. That's ten minutes! Phew! I did not enjoy that! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 18:49 Although I do not know who you are, I still wish you the best from afar. You've been a member since 2010, To me that's a lifetime on the net. Your port looks enormous and great. There is something to suit every taste. Like a needle lost in a haystack, I'm awed by the items on the rack. I have done more than my ten minutes. I must go and submit my comment. This blogging challenge is not too bad. I wish I had better things to add. I went a bit off-topic I know. Praying for your continued success, Wishing you happy birthday, Sum1! From fellow WDCer Shiki. The rhyme scheme, half-assed as it was, went completely out the window in the last stanza Sorry, I just couldn't be bothered anymore - I really need to use the loo!End time: 19:20 Wow, it took me half an hour to come up with a simple poem! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 23:44 I'm cutting it a bit close today! I know it's only quarter to seven by WDC time, but I like to be punctual. It's been slow kind of day, as is often the case. I'm tired, as is often the case. I haven't done much, as is often the case. So, yeah, pretty much a run-of-the-mill kind of day. Boring. No fresh air today - have I mentioned that I'm a bit of a hermit? The farthest (something within me says that that should be "furthest", but maybe I'm wrong. In any case, I'll go with the spelling on the challenge page/thread/whatever you call it) I've been from home is to Pakistan. Then again, Pakistan is sort of like my home away from home (I grew up there, I married there, and the majority of my in-laws are there). If we were to exclude that, I've only ever travelled to Wales. It's not terribly far. In fact, I've been twice, now that I think about it. The first time was when I was eighteen. I did my expedition for my Duke of Edinburgh's Award there. I was such a weakling (I still am, in fairness, but in much better shape than I was back then - even if I don't feel it). Physically unfit and suffering from arthritis, a trek through south Wales across three days (I could be wrong here - it might not have been south Wales and it might not have been three days. My memory is like a sieve) was a a huge deal. And did I mention that I'm scared of anything that walks on four legs? I mean, I like animals but from a distance, you know? Although I'm a lot better now since I got Dean. So yes, unfit, suffering from arthritis, terrified of bulls and cows and sheep, I somehow managed to make my way through fields of farm animals and quiet country roads where people frequently walked their dogs. Fun times! I can tell you my teammates didn't think much of me - I was very grouchy. The second time was just a few years ago, we took as much of the extended family as we could to Rhyll. We didn't check the forecast. I was just desperate to go somewhere with the whole family and that was what we settled on. The weather was miserable! It started raining while we were there. Good times! And now for more good times for me - I'm going to bed for an hour or so, and then I have to get up again for the pre-fast meal. Sixteen minutes, not bad. I had planned to keep it to ten since I really want my bed right now. Oh well! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 11:59 I survived my evening of staying in a cold, dark house. The house is still cold, although it is now daytime of course. The weather outside is terrible. Since yesterday, it's been dreary. It's May! I would expect some warmth by now. Oh well, I suppose it's good if you're fasting. I'm grateful  Onto the challenge then! It's an odd one, this one. If space travel became possible in the future, would I go? There's a part of me that is terrified of going into unfamiliar territory, and that's just walking around the area where I live! I don't know how I'd feel about venturing into something so huge and unknown. On the other hand, God created this entire universe and, just as I want to explore more of the world, I want to see more of the universe. It'd be a battle between my scaredy-cat tendencies and my will to see new sights. That's ten minutes so far, but I'm afraid I spent some of those messing around with Dean, who was supposed to be sat on my lap all quietly curled up but, of course, when do cats ever do as you want them to? I have fresh scratches on my hands. Evidently, I am a scratching post and I haven't realised. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 21:18 This entry is a little later than I would like but I'm here now. Unfortunately, I've run out of electricity and we don't know where the key thingy is so I don't think I can get emergency credit. As a result, I'm sat in my darkened kitchen, eating fruit for my iftar (the meal upon opening the fast). Ramadan is off to a wonderful start! Oh, and it's also cold outside so I could do with a bit of warmth. Anyways, the reason I mentioned the lack of electricity is because I can't use my computer and am having to rely instead on my very limited phone data to continue the challenge. So apologies if the entry is shorter than ten minutes. As for the challenge, I don't know. I mean, I paint, but I paint decorative canvases. That doesn't require a whole lot of skill, if you ask me. See, that's the first kind of art that comes to mind upon mention of this little three letter word. But what we writers do is also art, right? We pour our skill, our time, our effort, and our passion for what we do into it. Writing can be an outlet for suppressed feelings or it can be a way to take a break from our mundane lives. Or maybe we simply like it and want to spend the time to perfect it, as much as we can. So art to me is writing, which is an escape from the everyday. I'm honing it all the time, and I think frequently about it when I'm not actively engaged in it, as if itching to get back behind the keyboard so I can continue typing. 21:31. Not bad! I didn't think I'd have the patience to write for long on my phone after getting used to the ease of the computer. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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