%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
|
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 23:28 Today's prompt is interesting because it is one that I have had to explore in some depth for a recent counselling assignment. "Where do your cultural roots run the deepest? Where is your family’s ancestral home? Do you feel most connected to the place you grew up, where you live now, or somewhere else?" To be quite frank, I don't care a whole lot about my culture. Why do I have to be beholden to something that changes with time? To my parents, it seems at times as if there is nothing worse than a person who doesn't abide by their culture, but what a lot of people, particularly of the older generation, seem to fail to grasp is that culture is not set in stone. Fashion trends, popular TV shows, who's hot in film right now, the mannerisms and style of the latest singer to top the charts, maybe even a poor woman who ends up writing one of the greatest children's book series ever. These all, and so many more, inform the way we interact with those around us. ...I fell asleep sitting at the desk. Not even slumped onto the desk - sitting up, leaning against the back. If that's not a reminder to get to bed, then what is?! But let me answer the questions at least: My cultural roots run the deepest in Pakstan, probably. The family home is there too, although it's usually empty with some neighbours coming in to have a look at it every now and then, to clean it if it needs cleaning, and to make sure it didn't topple over since they last saw it. I dunno. I feel most connected to my house. My house is the place where I can rest and be myself. It has little to do with culture, though. It's just a matter of convenience. 23:48 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 21:46 The prompt today is quite bizarre. "In your entry today, write about superstitions, legends, and curses. Are there any legends in your culture that you take to heart? Are you superstitious? Do you believe in Pele’s Curse?" Legends from my culture? No, I don't really know any so I can't say. As for superstitions...I am by no means well versed in this topic but my people hold to this idea that one can be...bewitched. I don't know if that's the right word for it but it's the only one that came to mind. Anyway, this bewitching happens via black magic or with the aid of jinn (or djinn, but they're certainly not the blue-dude-in-lamp kind of djinn). These jinn are beings of smoke who exist on a plane of reality that is similar to ours, but we don't see them. Mostly, they go about their business and we go about our own. But sometimes, petty people with a bone to pick with others (for anything from "How dare you deny my son your daughter's hand in marriage!" to "Your family shall never enjoy success in any way, shape, or form! MUAHAHAHAHA!") call on beings from this other plane and they cross over to where we live and then...things get messy. This is where demonic possession and stuff like that comes in for us. Satan was a jinn too, once upon a time. The bit about the jinn is from Islam, but I'd wager it doesn't happen all too often the way it seems to in culture. I mean, how often would you see someone running off down the street laughing like a hyena because they're about to unleash ruin upon some undeserving innocent family? But the thing is, in my culture, people use this almost as a means of saving face. Someone's behaviour has recently changed? They must be possessed! Someone's depressed? A jinn made her that way! Someone's got some kind of skin condition or health problem that's destroyed their beauty or body? A jinn did it! A marriage broke? A jinn. Did. It! Whatever it is that the "jinn" is doing through the individual, it's usually something the family in question perceives to be wrong, so they do the easy thing and stick a label on that person, I suppose expecting that that will halt the rumour mill. So Ayesha's been diagnosed with a mental illness. What does the family do? Why, placate the neighbours of course! "It must be someone's evil intent to bring her down! She is such a good girl...why would she get this out of the blue?" But this is definitely something from the previous generation. I'm hopeful that for my generation and above, it won't be a means of saving face or finding an easy answer for something inexplicable. As knowledge becomes more easily accessible, I pray that people can accept things for what they are and not try to stick labels on them, especially when those "things" are living, breathing people experiencing uncertainty about themselves and their place in the world around them. And no, I don't believe in Pele's Curse. It kind of defeats the purpose of being a Muslim if I suddenly said I believe in the existence of another deity. It's the ultimate sin to put someone else on the same level as God. This has been fun! I must go and do my prayers now. Cheerio! 22:10 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 23:57 I'm nearly out of time for today's entry. I completely forgot that I'd said I was going to do it in the afternoon! I had plenty of chances to do it too. I now have two minutes. Oh well. It's been a slow kind of day today. I got back from the conference yesterday at about ten at night and enjoyed another blissful evening without my son, since I'd left him with my sister the night before and he'd already gone to sleep by the time the train pulled into town. My mum went to Pakistan last week so going over to my parents' place felt a bit strange. I can't believe we're already into the last week of June! Where has the time gone? I'm still reading Oathbringer. Until I finish it, it's unlikely that I'll be able to concentrate on my own writing. Excuses, excuses... I have two college assignments to do too, with a third on the horizon. Assignments are not my strong point. It's a type of writing that doesn't resonate with me. Writing essays has always been a bit of a huge hurdle to cross for me. I can remember struggling to meet the word count since high school. There should be a word for this. Calculexiphobia or something. I'm falling asleep as I write this. These past couple of days have been quite hectic, in prep for the conference yesterday. But now that it's over, hopefully life will return to normal. Mercifully, that's ten minutes! 00:08 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 14:58 I'm attending a Muslim conference today. Actually, I'm supposed to be a volunteer and helping with the conference, but I've just been sitting around or wandering about. I'm tired! I woke up for prayers at three in the morning, and didn't go back to sleep in order to have plenty of time to prepare for getting to the conference. I think I worry too much when there's a biggish event coming up. Getting to and from the event becomes something that takes up pretty much the whole day. This is one of the reasons why I don't like getting out - every little trip out is perceived to take longer than it actually does. And then there's the logistics of it - how am I going? Will I get a lift there? Will I get a lift back? If I'm walking, when should I get out to make it for the appointed time? Can I ask someone for a lift? I don't like bothering people for a lift, but I also don't like the idea of driving myself. I want to sleep. I want to go home! T_T I want to continue reading Oathbringer! It's getting really good! (Not that it wasn't good before, but every page makes the story better.) 15:08 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 10:34 The moment I read today's prompt, my mind went to the gutter  Something that I secretly love is...romance writing! I don't think I'm any good at it - not in a traditional sense, anyway. It's never about the dashing hero whose every action is an invitation to intimacy (that kind of thing is most definitely not my kind of thing). It's not about a couple overcoming all odds to be together (  ). I think the romance that I occasionally indulge in writing is where one party is quite odd. The relationship is...kind of healthy, but one half of the pairing is not. Which begs the question - how can the relationship be healthy if one of the main players in it is not, right? I guess I'm just a bit weird that way. I know in reality, those relationships probably wouldn't work. I can't really think of anything else that I secretly like. I'm pretty much an open book so I don't have any deep secrets which never see the light of day. Although...my friends are convinced that I'm a tomboy, since I used to act all queasy around girly topics in high school and I hated the colour pink. I'm not that bad around girly topics (I suppose having had to marry, give birth and what not, has helped me overcome my discomfort ) and I don't even mind pink, although I'd keep it to a baby pink or pastel pink if I had to wear it. I love babies. I love flowers. I love pretty dresses. I guess I'm pretty much a standard girl lol. I should show this entry to my friends. 10:49 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 09:47 What subject would you like to write about, but haven’t yet. Genre? Type of character? Location? What? I usually write whatever strikes my fancy, although there are certain elements that I would like to explore in my stories which I haven't yet, or which I feel I haven't explored in enough depth. Racism is one of those. In my novel, I wanted to explore this vast subject but I don't think I did a good job of it. Besides, I've only done one draft and all that did was let me know my characters a bit better. In the next draft, I'm hoping to explore the plot. Then after that draft, depending on how it goes, I can probably think about some other things about the novel, like building on the themes I've stumbled to include already. See, I don't yet have the skill to subtly insert a theme or themes into my stories. That's something to look into. As for genre, I don't know. Maybe speculative fiction? I could be wrong but my definition of speculative fiction has it as stories that are set in the real world but are fantastical in nature. I tend to keep away from serious stories set in the real world because they're usually not set in places that I know - like my fanfics, which are usually anime-inspired and set in Japan. I wouldn't do these kinds of stories seriously because I'd always worry that something is wrong about the setting and I haven't researched enough. That's one of the reasons why I only write fantasy set in other worlds. Type of character? Maybe an obnoxious Douchebag? I worry though that if the character is too different from me, then I can't portray them well enough. If I can't get into the mind of the character, then I suppose they don't come across as believable. Saying that, I do need to challenge myself. I think, to date, all the main characters of any original story I've come up with have been aloof and lone-ranger types, because those are the characters who interest me most. 10:03 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 11:38 What three things do I take with me if I'm going on a long trip, excluding toiletries and clothing? Hmm... 1. A notebook - a notebook is all-round entertainment. You can draw games to play with those around you, in a pinch. You can jot down ideas for stories. Plan stories. Make a start on stories. Write random character-building scenes for stories. Oh, and I guess you can write poems too, if you're into that sort of thing. You could doodle, or draw proper sketches. Outline scenes for your stories - if you're any good at drawing perspectives, which I'm crap at. You could always rip pages out and start doing origami. Or make a bucket list of books you'd like to read or things you'd like to do. Or write an essay on the meaning of life, if you're really, truly bored. 2. A book. Because I'm a bookworm and it's important to let people know that. It's a shield against people who want to make awkward conversation. Of course, some people are dense and will continue talking at you even if you've put up a book. But that really ought to be their problem, shouldn't it? 3. My imagination. The sky's the limit with this one, right? I know it's a part of me so it goes where I go, but it's nice to know you have this resource to tap into if things are really slow. If I have a good enough idea and my imagination at hand, I could get lost in the story for hours. Good times, good times. Although, usually, this mostly works when I'm lying in bed and really ought to go to sleep but would rather let the story play out instead :D 11:48 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 22:51 Not sure about this one. If the prompt had been "someone famous", I'd say Keanu Reeves. But the names of...semi-famous people don't spring to mind easily and it's late. Hold on. Thinking hard. No, that just makes me want to go to bed. Ok, no thinking hard. Hmm...the last movie I saw was Big Hero 6...and I don't know who the voice actors were! Live-action movie then. My last live-action movie was Constantine. So it can't be the main actors so...Rachel Wiesz? Hers is one of the main characters, though, right? So...Er...Shia LaBeouf? But he's also...major, right? The only other actor I can recall from that movie whom I've seen in other works is Tilda Swinton, and when I say "other works", I just mean Doctor Strange. And a brief appearance in Endgame. I like how she plays tough, not-very-feminine roles. In fact, I don't even know if "Gabriel" in Constantine was supposed to be a male or a female. But I don't particularly want to meet her. I don't want to meet anybody who is "Hollywood famous" - maybe just a few, who've been lauded for their achievements beyond the big screen. I know actors might imbue their characters with some of their own traits to give those characters some depth but I'm still only interested in the personalities they portray on the screen - what they do beyond that screen is of little concern to me. I'd love to enter Fictionland and meet some of those characters! Now, if you were to ask me which famous person I'd want to meet as a writer, I think my response would be Brandon Sanderson. The man is amazing! I'm nearly halfway through Oathbringer and I am enthralled. I wish I could read it start to finish and not have to worry about anything else in between. But then I'd be sad that I finished it so soon. 23:08 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 11:15 The prompt for today: In this scenario, money is no object, so you can buy anything you want. Only thing is, you can’t buy this for yourself. What will you buy, and who will you buy it for? Be creative here! I'd buy houses for my sister and my best friends and pay off my brother's mortgage. Maybe buy everyone decent cars. It's all well and good to ask us to be creative with this and I'm aware that my uses for this imaginary money aren't creative, but really, I don't need money to be creative (except for the purchase of art supplies which then express that creativity) but I guess it isn't really about me. As I get older, I become less idealistic. Money isn't the answer to everything but it sure solves some big problems. Like getting you a roof over your head and a place to call your own. After gifting these people dear to me, I would host homeless dinners so people living on the streets could get some warm food in them. After that, I guess I could donate to various charities. And then maybe, whatever's left would go towards my son's bank account, for him to use when he reaches 30. Yes, thirty. It seems very irresponsible to be handed a large sum of money at the age of 18. When I was eighteen, I didn't know much about the world. I was terrible at saving. If something happens to me before he reaches thirty, in this imaginary scenario, I'm sure the people I've mentioned above would be happy to lend him a hand. Kindness begets kindness, right? This has been interesting entry. 11:28 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 12:25 I like Sundays. They're quiet days where I just like to chill out at home and not feel like my entire day centres on leaving the house for something or other. They're lazy days and creative days and they can be pyjama days, if I want them to be. They can be active or slow, mellow or vigorous, soft or full-on. But what I don't like is for my Sunday to feel like any other day, which is what normally happens, funnily enough. My niece is over since my friends will be visiting later and she gets along well with my friend's daughter. She's keeping my son occupied, which is a blessing! It means he's not following me around like a second shadow. But for all that I don't want my Sunday to feel like just any day, I don't usually stay in my pyjamas this long. It's been like four hours since I got out of bed and I'm still not dressed for the day. I like that there's the option of staying in my pyjamas today, but I don't really like indulging in it. I feel like I'm human if I make the effort to be presentable. It's like pulling my skin on for the day. I need to do some shopping for my friends - I don't know whether fish and chips is a good dish to serve guests. My Asian hospitality drive is thinking it is very much inadequate, but I can't be bothered making more complicated dishes. I hate cooking! I was going to make a cake too but I haven't. I'm so lazy, even if it is a Sunday! 12:35 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
