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A collection of thoughts and ideas |
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Welcome friend
You have found my collection of ideas and thoughts. Who knows there might even be an article or two hidden in here. |
| I woke this morning not wanting to leave the embrace of my bedding. warm and soft calming and relaxing. Yet, I knew it was time for me to do so. As I started to rise it was then I felt the resistant pull of one not wanting to leave their side. wanting to hold me closer and send shivers of delight up my spine. Here's the kicker I know I am alone in my bed. I know that there are only two people in my home and the second one it tucked away deep in sleep in his bed in his room. Yet here is the feeling that I am not alone that the one I want is lying there next to me drawing me closer to be wrapped in his loving embrace. I do give in for a moment wrapping my blankets back around me just to realize that he is not there just as I knew he would not be. I sat there for a moment, wishing what I had felt was in the here and now. Wishing I could reach out and find my love at my side. Knowing that if I turn no one will be there. Knowing that my bed is empty and only shows where I have been. Yet, I cannot help but welcome the feeling for at lest even in the shadows of my mind I know what those feelings still are. I will admit that when I curled back up under my blankets hoping it was not a dream than there would be more than just snuggling yet I got to be just wrapped by my blankets clinging to a dream I never know if it will come true. |
| I do my best to stay strong. It's not easy being alone raising my son with out help. It dose not help that he is in a mode of challeng the rules. To top that off I right now am not as strong as I had been for a found someone who I want to be with that is 300 miles away so I tend to get frustrated on little thing because they magnify the frustration of not being able to build a closer physical relationship. The one I want to be around I know respects what I can do. Wich is a great change from many I had been talking to that seam to only want trophy gals that are limited in what they can do. With that said part of what I broke down over was the fact I half had to force my to join me in my make shift yard seating and cooking area. Well to call it make shift is real an insult to what I had created. 3 folding chairs spaced out with either a table or stool tray for drinks a table for food and then my small grilling table with grill. I loved how it came out because it looked like I had made a section in front of my windows my living room. With a grilling spot out in front. My son came out for a bit because I had banned him from being on electronics because he called me a lier about something I said even though he was a sleep. The sad part here is that I did not know he was asleep till later and I mean hours later. So yeah, oure frustration on my part. I think what was worse was the fact I recognized that he might not have heard me because he was sleeping and he flat out called me a lier. |
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Happy WDC Birthday and happy holidays SW. 