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Guided by prompts from WDC blogging challenges... and of course, life |
HI! I'm Jenn - and I'm all over the place (well, at least my mind is). In this blog, I have attempted to gather my thoughts on things prompted/inspired by WDC blogging challenges from "Journalistic Intentions"  , "The Soundtrack of Your Life" , "Blogging Circle of Friends " , "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" and, well, LIFE.    |
PROMPT September 27th If I realized I am just like everyone else and just as GOOD as everyone else -- that we all struggle but have so much potential -- then when in social situations I would finally be more likely to... Wait. What? Have you been talking to my shrink? This sounds like some of the questions he asks me. Social situations? Those are generally a no-go. I know I am as GOOD as everyone else, I just can't handle the anxiety of being around people. It scares me. So many emotions bombarding me all at one time from everywhere. SO much noise. So many people getting too close to my personal bubble, some infringing on it. But, I get by well as I can. Through the years I have developed a mask, or persona of sorts for dealing with being around people. Keeping that up for undetermined lengths of time can be so tedious though. I've lived with having to be more than just myself for so long, you'd think it would be second nature, but thanks to the pandemic, those coping techniques fell out of use for a while. It's like reintroducing a feral child into human society. I feel I have to watch my P's & Q's in public, and watch my back, and turn down the emotion sensors that are always on. So, I guess the answer would be I'd be more likely to remove my alter ego and show my true self. But still, it isn't lack of belief in myself, it is more distrust of the rest of the world at large.     Day 3240: September 27, 2021 Prompt: What types of stories do you enjoy reviewing? Do you have a favorite WDC author you enjoy reviewing? I enjoy reading and reviewing all kinds of stories. I don't think I really have a favorite kind. Nor do I have a have a favorite author here on WDC that I enjoy reviewing. I love being able to sample works from so many wonderful writers, and WDC is the perfect place to do just that. Everyone brings something different to the table, a new perspective, new ideas, cool new twists on old ideas... How could a person pick just one?! |
| September 26, 2021 - 11:01 PM (Texas time) I wish I could say today has been a good one, but I would be lying, and that is something I try very hard not to do. I'm in the midst of a flare. Lupus has a way of making a person think they're doing good then wham! you're broadsided by a flare of one kind or another. My skin and my kidneys are really feeling it right now. Any small amount of pressure on my skin is agony and there is a rash covering my forearms and elbows and calves. The rash is just tedious, as it keeps me from being able to sleep. The kidneys, well, they have hurt worse before so I'm pretty sure I'll survive. I try so hard to be strong. I hide as much of my pain as I can from my loved ones. I don't want them to worry about me, they do enough of it already. Along with the physical problems, the head meds don't seem to be doing their job either. Maybe I'm just tired from lack of sleep because of the pain & rash and that's what is triggering the depression. I don't know. But, I cried today. Actual tears. It's been a while since I was able to produce tears (I have yet another autoimmune disease to thank for that), so I was strangely happy that I was crying - if that makes sense. If it doesn't, well welcome to my world. Everybody here except me is already lost in dreamland, snoring peacefully. Sleep is eluding me yet again. I wish I could be normal again. Not my normal, but a real normal where life isn't a series of flares and swings and seizures and doctors' visits and hospital stays. I know there are people out there who have it worse than I do. That's a given. But sometimes my circumstances tend to overwhelm me, when it all hits me at once. But, at least I can cry right now. There is that blessing. Hold your loved ones tight everyone. Let them know you love them. Tell them and show them all the time because we never know when we won't ever have that ability again. Have a good night y'all. My heart is telling me it's time to cry again. Maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day. |
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You're so right, they are definitely perceptive. They know when you need extra attention, and they know when to keep an eye out for you. They are definitely a blessing from God.
