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Guided by prompts from WDC blogging challenges... and of course, life |
HI! I'm Jenn - and I'm all over the place (well, at least my mind is). In this blog, I have attempted to gather my thoughts on things prompted/inspired by WDC blogging challenges from "Journalistic Intentions"  , "The Soundtrack of Your Life" , "Blogging Circle of Friends " , "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" and, well, LIFE.    |
Day 3216 September 3, 2021 Prompt: “It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace. ~” ― Chuck Palahniuk - Do you agree or disagree? Is it possible to kind of agree? I believe that without pain, we would not be able to recognize and appreciate the sweetness. Pain makes the good times that much sweeter. But do we not have “scars” from our happiness? I’m pretty sure those are called laugh lines. While we might learn more from disappointment and pain, we do still learn from happiness and peace. We learn how to trust, how to open our hearts and minds, we learn more about ourselves. It’s easy to remember the sweetness, if you want to. And for some it is equally as easy to forget the painful times. But you have to change your way of thinking from focusing on the negative to looking for the positive. From being angry and disappointed to being grateful. To forget the pain, you have to be willing to let it go, and I think that is what is so hard for people to do. I think we learn from both the good and the bad, and we cannot have one without the other. Word Count: 217 |
PROMPT September 3rd What is the Hardest Part of Your Job? Tell us how you deal with it. I don’t currently work, due to my illnesses and the pandemic. It was concluded (and not by me) that with the ongoing threat of the Covid-19 virus and my being immunodeficient, along with my other disabilities, it was in everyone’s best interest if I no longer taught. (This was probably a good thing, as my health has been on a rollercoaster ride for the last year and a half - and I spend so much time in one doctor's office or another) The hardest part of no longer being able to teach is feeling that I no longer have a purpose in life. I deal with this issue by praying about it a lot. I also volunteer, write, and try to keep my mind and hands busy in other ways, like gardening. It is a day-to-day battle and some days I am more successful than others, but I manage. When I was teaching, the hardest part was dealing with parents and coaches who encouraged me (pretty much demanded me) to give certain students grades they did not earn (usually because the kid just didn’t DO the work) simply because the student was in sports and “the school needed them in order to win.” I am not one for being bullied and I refuse to set my morals aside for, well, anything. I dealt with the problem by having the students in question sit in study hall in my room and complete the assignments they were missing before I would give them a grade – with a certain percentage taken off the top for each day the assignment was late. And since I was doing that for the sports kids, I gave the same allowance to the rest of my students (I’m also not one to show favoritism). Showing I was willing to work with the students to help them make better grades pacified most of the parents. As far as the coaches were concerned, I covered all my bases - it was up to their players to put in the effort needed to pass the class after that. Word Count: 346 (364 including prompt) LeJenD'Poet - Just ME  |
| 9/3/21 – 5:00am Prompted By Life I’m writing this now to have documentation of what is going on with my body currently, before my questionable memory erases much of it. Who knows, my healthcare team might find this useful... Pain level right now is around 9. Yesterday evening, a pressure was building in my head right behind my eyes and extending up and back until it felt like my head was filled with concrete or some other very thick substance. Somehow, finally, I was able to go to sleep, a fitful dreamless sleep but sleep nonetheless. I awoke early this morning to the assertion that I am in another flare. I knew it was coming, I haven’t felt “right” in a few days, just didn’t figure it was going to hit me like this. I mean, it was only two days ago that I took my weekly dose of Methotrexate and I take the Prednisone and Hydroxychloroquine every day as prescribed. Right now, I should be feeling great. But instead, my skin feels like it is crawling, like a nest of fire ants is stinging me just under the first few layers. Every inch of my body itches but scratching just creates pain. Pressure creates pain, even the smallest amount. My nerves must be seriously messed up. Imagine not being able to be touched – so much so that the pressure of your clothing against your skin causes pain. That’s where I am right now. If I press really hard or scratch non-stop, it gives some relief, almost feels good. Maybe it feels good because it stops the itch for the short amount of time that I’m doing it. Doing so isn’t feasible though and would cause more harm than good. But I can’t sleep anymore today in any case. Laying down just creates too many pressure points all at once while the rest of me is still crawling with the itchies. Even the insides of my ears itch. I’ve noticed a weakness in my limbs as well. Trying to walk from my bedroom to the kitchen to get a cup of water was torture. It’s like I woke in an alternate universe where the force of gravity is a lot more than what it is in reality, pulling me down. My shoulders, legs, head, and arms seem to be experiencing the most pain right now. My bones ache like they’re filled with liquid lead and all of my joints hurt. My head hurts and it feels like I’ve been clenching my jaw tightly for some time even though I am making a point of keeping it slack. It all hurts, all of me, to the point that I am nauseous. My hands are swollen so much so I cannot make a fist. - And I’m shaking. I’m wondering how long this will all last before the seizures are triggered again; the big ones, not just the petit mal that happen multiple times a day. I noticed yesterday my eyes fluttering and trying to roll back. I never did go into a grand mal though. Speaking of eyes, mine are super dry again. The right one looks like tiny blood vessels have burst within it, making it all bloodshot. And I couldn’t cry if I wanted or needed to; the tears have dried up too. I’m a mess. While I am cursed to have these ailments the rest of my life, the flares themselves come and go – and I never know when or how a flare will present. This one just hit me hard after a month or two of only having mild ones. And this one is one of those that makes me wish I could end it all. Whichever diseases are causing this flare, I know it won’t last forever even if it seems like it right now. So, I’ll ride out the pain and discomfort. Lord knows pain killers would only be a temporary fix and probably do more harm than good. |
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You're so right, they are definitely perceptive. They know when you need extra attention, and they know when to keep an eye out for you. They are definitely a blessing from God.
