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2024. Going anywhere inside my little world. |
| Come on the adventures of a little mouse as she writes about her opinions and her life. |
| I gave my sharps to Terry last night. I have been thinking about self harm more and more. I've been wanting to die and thinking of ways to do that..... I went to crochet group today and talked to Jacob. He brought Cathy in on it. I told them I feel like I'm spiraling into this dark pit of depression. .... Cathy asked what has got me feeling this way. Damn it, if I knew that I could do something about it. What would make me feel better? Again, Duh. Her advice is to stand up for myself and make Terry and David sit down with me and create a schedule so that I know when I can go out to things like Clubhouse. Again they show that they do not live in this house nor deal with the people I deal with...... My feeling is that it is not environmental. It's chemical. I have been on these same medications for a long time and I believe they do not have the potency they once did. I am scared to death to go through the experimentation of finding the right combination again but I don't know what else to do. I'm tired of being stuck in this grey area. I don't know what they are going to do here if I have to go away for a few days but I need a vacation. I don't want to stop my groups either but that might not be helped. I want to put a bag together of stuff that I want to take with me. If I take it out of the 3-ring binder they might let me have my novel I started a blanket in crochet group. I actually got to talk to Jacob and Geri about what I want to accomplish with group. I also couldn't remember how to do a half-double so I got Jacob to help me with that and a couple of other things. Next week I'll show them the different motifs I want to learn to do. Geri has started making a care bear. Can't wait to see how it turns out. I did a change-up on The Lunch Crew which is now "Invitation to Death"  . It is set to move forward if I could just apply butt-in-chair and get working on it. I just keep piddling around with reorganizing and rewriting notes. I think I'm going to use my Character Keeper book for it and hunker down on a plot plan and get that written. (as I sit here and look at the bag it is all in and think about how much I rather say screw it and lay in bed) |
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Love it! I hope "Kristy Parkers" is revived and publishes very soon!
It's probably cheaper to just buy regular stamps and use a piece of paper and envelope to send the stuff instead of buying a postcard. 
