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331 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Human Angels  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greets CherokeeIrishPixie !

Congratulations! *Bigsmile* It is my pleasure to assist you in your writing endeavors.

Keep in mind that any comments made are only my suggestions.

*Flower3* likes *Flower3*

Other than the really general comments listed below that will help you improve this poem, I think this is one of the best ones that I have read thus far. It touches upon all aspects, being both educational and inspirational, and thefore providing a solid base for any reader.

Great theme.

*Flower5* dislikes *Flower5*

Some walk in human form.
Performing His work without a sound'
This should be one sentence.
Cut out the apostrophe at the end and make it a period.

To deliver any message God would send.
I don't like this sentence. It's hard for me to pinpoint why, but I think it's just too vague.

From the goodness of you heart,
Did you mean your?

*Flower2* final impression *Flower2*

As I mentioned above, I think that this is one of the greater pieces that you have written, and I applaud you on that achievement. It's a strong piece of poetry with a motivational backdrop!

If you have any questions about this review, feel free to contact me.

Thank you for sharing your work!
May your muse be with you!

*Reading* Isabella
Review 19/20
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27
Review of That Angel  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greets CherokeeIrishPixie !

Congratulations! *Bigsmile* It is my pleasure to assist you in your writing endeavors.

Keep in mind that any comments made are only my suggestions.

*Flower3* likes *Flower3*

I love the "vehicle" that carried this piece--a pin on the shoulder, a little metal angel...It gave so much more flavor to the piece, increasing my enjoyment and willingness to read on. *Smile*

Great topic area to explore.

*Flower5* dislikes *Flower5*

But a little metal angel on you shoulder,
need not make you fell safe
or against a demon bolder.
fell-->feel
I don't understand this sentence.

Unless the love of God is with-in,
within is one word

*Flower2* final impression *Flower2*

Overall, if you wrap up a few things, this will be a perfect little touch upon angels and their roles in the world. Nicely done, IrishPixie! *Smile*

If you have any questions about this review, feel free to contact me.

Thank you for sharing your work!
May your muse be with you!

*Reading* Isabella
Review 17/20
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28
Review of Dragons  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greets CherokeeIrishPixie !

Congratulations! *Bigsmile* It is my pleasure to assist you in your writing endeavors.

Keep in mind that any comments made are only my suggestions.

*Flower3* likes *Flower3*

I like the variety of dimensions that you have in this poem regarding dragons--what they look like, what they do, how they are portrayed. That mix of various approaches to these creatures is rather clever and I like how you aligned it within a poetic style. Nicely done.

*Flower5* dislikes *Flower5*

Flying, soaring, fire for breath,
Did dragons only bring death?
In some stories this is true.
The tenses here are all messed up--are you in present tense, referring to the past? in past referring to the present? You confuse me and you need to ensure that you are consistent.

Stories vary from place to place.
A dragon's origin who could trace.
Are you making an attempt to connect these two? The second phrase is not a sentence and thus it either ought to be connected to another phrase or made into a sentence.

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE COMPLETE SENTENCES or fix your punctuation; having phrases is completely alright, but not when you mislead the reader. *Worry*

*Flower2* final impression *Flower2*

Overall, good choice for a poetic topic. You did an alright job with the description and the poetic dimensions; I need more consistency from you in relation to the technicalities and the portrayal as dragons, because I am missing a climax and a conclusion as to what dragons truly are.

If you have any questions about this review, feel free to contact me.

Thank you for sharing your work!
May your muse be with you!

*Reading* Isabella
Review 15/20
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29
29
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greets CherokeeIrishPixie !

Congratulations! *Bigsmile* It is my pleasure to assist you in your writing endeavors.

Keep in mind that any comments made are only my suggestions.

*Flower3* likes *Flower3*

The introduction to the items that can be found within this folder is very clear, very inspirational, very powerful, and a good reason for people browsing through your port to want to continue on. I think that your choice to use words and phrases from your culture add a personal touch that is rather rare around the site, I would guess.

*Flower5* dislikes *Flower5*

I think that you could definitely vamp up the visual aspects of the folder--get some more WritingML in there, perhaps an image that serves as the header, and give a greater impact as to why people should go through these images and enjoy them.

Additionally, since you thank the writers who wrote made these for you, I would suggest adding links to their port, instead of just typing their handles, and perhaps their sig shops if they exist.

*Flower2* final impression *Flower2*

Overall, I know as a person passing through why this folder exists, but you don't give me a real reason to continue on.

If you have any questions about this review, feel free to contact me.

Thank you for sharing your work!
May your muse be with you!

*Reading* Isabella
Review 13/20
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30
Rated: E | (3.5)
Greets CherokeeIrishPixie !

Congratulations! *Bigsmile* It is my pleasure to assist you in your writing endeavors.

Keep in mind that any comments made are only my suggestions.

*Flower3* likes *Flower3*

I like the analogies that you make, i.e., about judging a book by its cover.

Your introduction, regarding the movies portraying falsely foster children is strong; I think you could do a lot with it.

And, yet another time, I enjoy the fact that your message is another one of social importance that ought to be valued and listened to. *Smile*

*Flower5* dislikes *Flower5*

Take care of these grammatical issues:

If you think a good foster parent makes anything off the care of a child. You are very wrong.
This is one sentence.

We do it, because we are called to do it.
Cut out the comma.

The old saying, "You can't judge a book by it's cover." is very true.
Cut out the period after cover.

Again, this is another piece with a strong message that is lacking a system of organization. Once you figure out exactly what you need to say, try to get this piece to mold into essay form--intro, conclusion, and three specific points, whether personal or statistical.

*Flower2* final impression *Flower2*

Overall, it needs a bit of tightening; you could cut some of the grammatical issues and then go on to clean it up a bit, but it will definitely add to your collection of serious thoughts.

If you have any questions about this review, feel free to contact me.

Thank you for sharing your work!
May your muse be with you!

*Reading* Isabella
Review 8/20
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Review of My Testimony  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greets CherokeeIrishPixie !

Congratulations! *Bigsmile* It is my pleasure to assist you in your writing endeavors.

Keep in mind that any comments made are only my suggestions.

*Flower3* likes *Flower3*

No grammatical mistakes! *Smile* As I find myself saying to many writers, it is rather rare for there to be no typos or grammatical "biggies" that stand out to the reader.

Great, great message. You did a very fine job weaving your emotions in and out of this story that carries a message all should remember.

*Flower5* dislikes *Flower5*

Though I did not dislike it, I thought it was rather awkward that you use punctuation (periods specifically) when you have only one complete sentence in this entire poem. It distracted me as a reader from following you in some places.

Otherwise, nothing that I disliked too much. *Smile*

*Flower2* final impression *Flower2*

Write on! It was a fine combination of language, message, and grammar. I grant you a 4.5.

If you have any questions about this review, feel free to contact me.

Thank you for sharing your work!
May your muse be with you!

*Reading* Isabella
Review X/20
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32
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greets CherokeeIrishPixie !

Congratulations! *Bigsmile* It is my pleasure to assist you in your writing endeavors.

Keep in mind that any comments made are only my suggestions.

*Flower3* likes *Flower3*

I loved it. *Smile* I thought it was a fantastic example of a Native American legend, written very simply but yet very complex--a child and an older reader can both draw their own interpretations, which is a major plus. *Smile*

*Flower5* dislikes *Flower5*

Apart from the grammatical errors listed below, there are a few places where you can improve the flow due to the awkward phrasing; make sure that there are not too many places where a sentence could be split in half to make it easier to understand.

Wind Dancer was to bare a child at the time of winter's first snow.
bare-->bear

During the birth of the child, Wind Dancer passed to the next life. Leaving Great Bear with a broken heart and a beautiful little girl.
This should be one sentence.

In the spring, Great Bear took the little girl to where Mother Earth and Father Sky meet.
Using where is too casual; try changing it to the place or the spot, etc.

*Flower2* final impression *Flower2*

Overall, with the need to tighten bits of the story for the sake of the flow, and a few grammar mistakes, I grant you a 4.0! *Smile* Make sure to continue writing beautiful bits and pieces as such. It was wonderfully put together.

If you have any questions about this review, feel free to contact me.

Thank you for sharing your work!
May your muse be with you!

*Reading* Isabella
Review 5/20
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Review of Nature Never Told  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there.

I don't know why you offer GPs for a review of 250 chars or more, as this is a beautiful piece that is not only very, very powerful for the reader, but also exquisitely written. It makes the heart beat faster, brings a tear to the eye...

Wonderful. I grant you a 5.0. *Smile*


Best,
Isa
34
34
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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*Reading* Thank you for your review request. *Reading*


Greetings! *Bigsmile* Please remember that any given suggestions are my opinion only.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

Great introduction; even thought it could have been tightened, I think that you did a fairly good job catching the attention of the reader and then carrying it through the entire intro.

Haha. *Laugh* Never having gone through a class about philosophers, would you mind explaining the answer regarding the question about the chair? *Wink* It seemed very well put and clever, hopefully a true testament to the American education system.

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

“I’ve found an unusual energy signature.” The voice on the other line had said.
The correct way to phrase this would be signature," the voice.

The whisper quiet sound of a motor was barely audible as an area of the wall to the right of the Knight slid out of the way to reveal a steel door with a glowing control panel.
whisper quiet is a very awkward description.

The man’s fingers were shaking as he punched in the access code.
Get rid of the passive voice: fingers shook.

He was a wire thin man who looked too young and boyish to be a professor.
Again, your metaphorical adjectives (wire thin) are very awkward.

Then without further adieu,” Dr. Sheldon picked up his chair and placed it on his desk.
Do you mean ado?

“I really need to get going.” Dr. Sheldon said.
Change the period after going to a comma.

Only one person passed.” he said with a beaming smile.
Change the period to a comma after passed.

“Its just, I can’t come up with a new angle.
It should be It's.

I think that Atlantis is rather overdone. I don't know if that plays any part in your story, but when I read 'Atlantis,' I become hesitant about what shall come in the future.

“I must not be hearing you correctly, could you give me a minute to clean the crap out of my ears?”
This would be two sentences.

Are you the Victor Motavelli.
This is a question.

“Yes, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He said, trying to sound as blasé as possible.
Change the period to a comma again.

“Aren’t you going to thank me?” The professor asked.
The should be lower-cased.

It's pretty well written, but it's not really anything that I've seen before. You should add some spice to it.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

I'm granting you a 3.5 for your grammatical mistakes and your non-uniqueness. I think that there is nothing very bad about it, just some general things that you ought to work on.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work. *Star*

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
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35
Review of Morning  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Welcome to Writing.Com! *Star*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review, please email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

What a great piece of poetry! *Bigsmile* I love the complexity of your language, your meaning, and your flow. You have an interesting style and you used it to your advantage.

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

There was nothign that I disliked. I think that the images in your second to last verse could have been tightened, but your current flow is suitable enough for this poem to be enjoyable.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

I grant you a 4.5 because the lines need some tightening; I grant 5.0s rather rarely. *Wink* Nicely written piece of poetry. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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Review of The Monster  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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*Reading* Thank you for your review request. *Reading*


Greetings! *Bigsmile* Please remember that any given suggestions are my opinion only.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

No grammar mistakes. *Smile*

I think this is another great poem with a strong message and you could definitely tighten it to make t he message more accessible. As soon as you do that, your words will stand out very powerfully.

Overall, it was a good way to present the "story".

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

In this poem, parts of it are forced...I don't know why that difference exists between your two poems, but it does, and I recommend that you reread it out loud and figure out where you would like to tighten it. It gets better in the last three verses, though, which ups your overall rating.

I've offered a few suggestions of my own below.

The Monster is bitter, wretched and full of hate
In order to add to the flow, cut out and and add a comma.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

I grant you a 4.0: tighten it, improve the flow, and continue to write pieces like this, which speak important messages to readers who will listen. *Bigsmile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work. *Star*

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
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Review of Colors  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Welcome to Writing.Com! *Star*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review, please email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

Your use of colors is very powerful, as the images are not very pleasant. I think that you did a rather good job bringing out the emotional aspects that are usually hidden behind the various aspects mentioned in your poem.

No real typos or glaring grammatical errors. Great job, as this is surprisingly rare! *Wink*

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

I think you need punctuation. I tell this to poets who have phrases clumped together in their poem with no real direction; you could use some commas, at the least, and soon as as you have them in there you can improve the flow.

Even with commas, though, I think that the poem overall could have been tighter. You are vague in your images, even though they are attached to strong emotional feelings.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

Overall, it was an alright piece of poetry. I think that for an experimental, you did a fine job, therefore I grant you a 4.0. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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Review of I AM  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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*Reading* Thank you for your review request. *Reading*


Greetings! *Bigsmile* Please remember that any given suggestions are my opinion only.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

Usually, in poems with rhyme, some of it is forced. I think on the most part you were very, very good in making the rhyme flow naturally and smoothly, which added to the overall impression of the poem.

No grammar mistakes. *Delight* That's very rare; hard to believe, huh?

Wonderful, wonderful message. I am truly amazed at how you brought the message through at the end and it was extremely powerful. The tone and the flow set the reader up for something great, and you provided that greatness. *Smile*

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

Make sure that you are consistent in your capitalization at the beginning of sentences. *Smile* Some of your sentences are capitalized, and the continuing phrases are not, which is fine, but then you leave some sentences uncapitalized, which confuses me as a reader. Also, you use scattered punctuation; I would definitely suggest that, in order to improve your flow, you ensure that you use punctuation correctly or don't use it at all.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

With clearing up the punctuation and capitalization, you'll have a wonderful piece of poetry that should speak to readers loud and clear; great rhyme--not too forced! It was a true pleasure to read. *Smile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work. *Star*

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
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Review of My Funeral Plans  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Welcome to Writing.Com! *Star*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review, please email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

Oh, Archie...*Smile* My first thought was, Gosh, he's crazy! I read through the first two paragraphs and then decided that writing something like this is a fantastic idea--if you share it. I hope you have done that. First off, it is clear that you are a good man; you want something peaceful and not very fancy...Just from your plans, this piece deserves a 5.0.

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

In order to improve the technicalities of this piece, I offer you some thoughts on grammar:

My presence will be in an urn with my ashes enclosed, brought to the event by my wife, or whomever my closest friend is at that time.
Technically speaking, I think that last phrase should be or my closest friend at the time in order to improve the flow.

It will consist of fruits, cheeses, breads, sweet rolls, a selection of luncheon meats, jams, jellies, honey and whatever simple foods come to the mind of my funeral's host.
I think the last part of this sentence makes it more awkward. I would just end it like this: ...jellies, honey, and other simple foods. I think that it is obvious that the food will be chosen by the host.

Beverages will consist of imported beers and ales, a fine selection of Single Malt Scotches, homemade mead, wines, water, iced tea and a selection of fruit juices.
Again, you are going beyond the obvious--cut otu a selection of. It's not necessary.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

Interesting way to leave this world, I must say, Archie, but one that I like and would perhaps someday fit to my own. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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40
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Congrats on being in the Angel Army spotlight! *Star*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review, please email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

Again, another powerful editorial. I am not familiar with the exact issues within Norfolk, as I do not reside there, but it seems clear to me that you have reasons to have sent this piece of writing; it is definitely angry, but justified, and therefore a good reason to listen. *Smile*

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

Just a few grammatical touch ups:

I have seen several letters to the editor, have talked to people in my civic league and have written two letters to the editor and at least as many to council on that topic of televised city council meetings.
You could use a comma after league.

In summary, get those council meeting televised as soon as technically possible, at least within the next 6 months; it can be done.
Any number under 10, you should definitely spell out.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

It's a clear reason as to why the Norfolk City Council ought to start acting with justifications...It was a good read. *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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Review of Forget 9/11  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Congrats on being in the Angel Army spotlight! *Star*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review, please email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

Some of the images that you have in this piece are just wonderful!!! I really like how you vibrantly set them "out there" so that any person reading this is not only caught up in your reasoning, but also in the reality of that reasoning. Great job.

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

I think that your first two to three paragraphs are the least solid of your editorial. It felt to me as if you were warming up. Only did your third or fourth paragraph set everything straight with a hardcore approach to what we as a nation have to do--those were the paragraphs that spoke powerfully to me as a reader.

9/12 is the day we started to evaluate, plan and take positive action to rebuild what was torn from us.
I think that you could insert a comma after plan to help improve the flow of this sentence.

...and take that as proof that we are a people who can, if only briefly, forget class, skin color, religious proclivity and petty disagreements.
I think you could use a comma after proclivity.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

Overall, I think the meaning in your editorial is very important and I agree with every single aspect. It's important for us as a nation not to dwell on the worst. After you clear up the tiny little nit picks in regards to technicality, and perhaps cut down your introduction in order to tighten it, this will be a piece of opinion that speaks very loudly.

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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42
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Congrats on being in the Angel Army spotlight! *Star*

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

I definitely think that this is a word that we ought to use! Nicely put. *Smile*

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

I didn't dislike anything about it.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

Overall, I think that this is definitely something that we ought to use in the dictionary, and I think I may start using the word myself. *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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Review of The Showoff  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review you're welcome to email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

I think that for what you have here now, it's great! Unfortunately, I think that you could tighten it. I just don't know where that tightening should occur, so I grant you a perfect due to the humor and creativity of the piece that you have now. *Bigsmile*

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

I did not dislike anything about this piece.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

It was a great approach to the prompt--very creative! No grammatical issues, and no REAL flaw within this bit you have now, so I grant you a 5.0! Well done. *Wink*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
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Review of Exar's Sacrifice  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Welcome to Writing.Com! *Star*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review, please email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

I can definitely see where you are trying to go with this piece, but it's not there now--you don't have a very structured plot, your characters don't achieve a climax because what should be the climax is the ending of your story, your characters aren't believable, etc. All of those flaws you should check.

What I do like is the "vehicle" that leads yoru story--Exar's amulet. I like that part of the story and I like the decisions he makes in regards to it. Unfortunately, that's not necessarily very huge right now, as it is blocked out by some of the mistakes that you make.

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

Apart from the grammatical issues you have below, there are a few things that I think you need to work on. Primarily, your dialogue is absolutely not believable...It's like this rant coming from the characters and is barely organized; the transitions from Exar to his squire are very harsh, with barely any rhythm to them.

The jewel hung from its golden chain around Exar's neck, bouncing to and fro while he rode on his beautiful war horse.
Instead of telling us that the horse is beautiful, show that to us--is it a strong horse, with long, lean legs? What exactly makes it beautiful? Let the reader judge for herself.

In fact, you wouldn't even be able tell it was that late because the bright Krondorian moon was out, with no clouds to hinder its beauty.
Here you are interrupting as the author-->don't use the word "you" unless it's in dialogue. Simply cut this down to The bright Krondorian moon was out, with no clouds to hinder its beauty, turning the night into day... or something like that.

"Well this mere 'gem' as you call it is hardly a piece of worthless jewelry.
Clear up this dialogue. It should be:
"Well, this mere 'gem,' as you call it, is hardly a piece of worthless jewelry.

Some would even go as far to say that they become immortal, and that that is how the god's were to make Diodorian an immortal being.
The correct spelling would be gods, as you are not talking about a possesion.

He skilfully cut down a few more, when he heard a terrible scream from Klaus.
The correct spelling is skillfully.
* This happens more than once.

He as also covered with small slash marks.
I think you meant was.

"I never had a boy, but I give up my kingdom to you Klaus, take care of it."
I think that take care of it is its own sentence, so cut out the comma and make it a period.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

Overall, this is an average piece, so I grant you a 3.0. As I mention/list to you above, you are missing a few key points to the story/chapter (if it is one...) and because those pieces are missing, it's hard to enjoy. Also make sure that all of your technicalities are correct before you trudge ahead! *Smile*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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Review of Harbor  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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*Reading* Thank you for your review request. *Reading*


Greetings! *Bigsmile* Please remember that any given suggestions are my opinion only. I chose this one because, even with 7 reviews, it's the least reviewed piece of writing in the folder! *Laugh*

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

My favorite images in this poem, which I love, are:

the sign of precious life
I long to harbor now.

For in the smallness of your being
on a blessed summer day,

The flow was very strong in all of the parts of the poem, which only added to how much I enjoyed reading it. You are definitely a very talented poet.

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

I didn't dislike anything about this poem!

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

I don't know of this is what you wanted to hear, but I give out 5.0 ratings on a basis of 1:100, I think, so this poem was definitely not only impressive, but powerful, and I enjoyed it a lot! *Bigsmile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work. *Star*

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
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46
46
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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*Reading* Thank you for your review request. *Reading*


Greetings! *Bigsmile* Please remember that any given suggestions are my opinion only.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

I like how there are so many pieces of poetry in this folder with an award--it definitely makes me tap my foot with anxiety to see what delicious pieces of writing I can fnd about love. *Heart*

I also like the title of the folder--it catches my eye and makes me very curious.

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

The one sentence body that seems to be only a repeat of the folder description is very short and I don't like that. Usually when going through folders I am drawn to those who give a lot of stuff to think about, so I think you can spice it up just a bit.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

It's a folder with items in it, so it deserves nothing less than a 4.5 as your description could be a bit more vibrant! *Smile*

Sorry that I took so long to get to these...

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work. *Star*

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
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47
47
Review of Droplets  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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*Reading* Thank you for your review request. *Reading*


Greetings! *Bigsmile* Please remember that any given suggestions are my opinion only.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

I like that, though you had some grammar issues that may need to corrected, your control over capitalization and most punctuation was present. It felt as if you knew where you were going with it-->and that immediately makes the reader feel respectful of the reader and interested subconsciously in anything that they want to say.

The subject of this poem was interesting and therefore I felt compelled to continue reading...Your flow was very nice (apart from punctuation that may have blocked the transitions from phrase to phrase). The control was there and very obvious, again.

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

There are a few small nicks that I suggest correcting, as with these technical issues gone your poem will be much stronger. *Smile*

Her eyes glinted as sunlight played upon blade of grass.
Do you mean blades?

Dew drop’s faces reflected rainbows.
Plural possession means Drew drops'.

Her hair moved gently as breeze lead the dance.
I think you mean led.

Dew drops let go their delicate hold.
You're missing the word of, which is necessary for this sentence to make any sense.

Like a tears joyful journey washing away.
Flowing from deep within.
1-Here the possession means tear's.
2-You don't need the period at the end of the first line since it is leading into the second as a sentence.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

Overall, it was solid. As soon as the little bitty nicks are out of the picture, it will be a poem to read! My rating of 4.0 draws from the few issues with flow, as mentioned above, but the general theme and message does hold one's interest.

*Star*Thank you for sharing your work.*Star*

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
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48
48
Review of We Child  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Welcome to Writing.Com! *Star*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review, please email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

I didn't get the poem. *Blush* Perhaps I'm just a bit dense, but I didn't see anything that connected your description about childhood with the poem. You made it sound...sad and lost...and I disagree with you. I can't say I liked much, but there wasn't anything about the poem in regards to message that I disliked.

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

There are just a few quick grammar issues you ought to address:

We learn while we sleep, that others cannot be trusted.
You don't need the comma.

We are lost in an eternal moving cyce.
Did you mean cycle? *Smile*

Never to be found, Never to be found.
The comma ought to be a period, unless you make Never lower-cased.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

I'll grant you a 4.0 for this; grammar mistakes and a lack of connectivity with the reader made me feel that the poem was rather hard to understand, and therefore that is your rating. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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49
49
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Welcome to Writing.Com! *Star*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review, please email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

Primarily, I liked that your rhyming wasn't forced. Sometimes poets just add unnecessary words...which destroys the flow of the poem entirely. I didn't find that in this piece. Instead, I found a simple message that was very clearly stated and therefore easy to follow.

Nicely done!

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

I disliked nothing, except, perhaps, the lack of punctuation. Some poems are fine without it, but I think it would add to yours if you added the two or three question marks and a period or two. It would add a lot of strength.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

Overall, this poem didn't necessarily make me laugh, or cry, or drive me to do something with my life, but it was well written and quite strong, so I believe you deserve nothing less than a 5.0. Consider the punctuation. *Wink*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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50
50
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, fellow writer! *Reading*

*Star* Welcome to Writing.Com! *Star*

It is my pleasure to be reviewing your item today. If you have any comments about this review, please email me.

Any suggestions given are my opinion only. Change what you believe in and what suits you.

*Note4* Likes *Note4*

Everything up to the first few sentences is written rather poorly; however, the way you end this prologue (if that's what it is) is great. I am extremely curious about the writings within the book, as well as how it happened that the keeper was safe within the crypt. Nicely done. *Smile*

*Note5* Dislikes *Note5*

The first few paragraphs are, unfortunately, rather poor--they are very vague, with little description and emotion being drawn from your words. I have few images in my mind and I need to be able to draw something from your writing instead of making it up by myself...That type of interpretation is not for this piece.

There are a few grammar mistakes that ought to be addressed:

The keeper of the Book knew death was upon him.
In this story, is "keeper" a title? Would someone call this person "Keeper"? If so, then you ought to capitalize it throughout the story.

But he must protect the Book at whatever the cost.
This sentence follows the one above; you have a change of tense...This ought to be But he had to protect the Book... or the sentence above ought to be The keeper of the Book knows death is upon him. Make sure that it is clear throughout the story what tense you are in; consistency is important.

Glancing behind him, he saw the shadows of the Gaul warriors approaching him.
1-You only need the first him; throw out the second.
2-I'm unable to picture this occurence in my mind because it is so vague...If these warriors are approaching, then should he be afraid and not able to protect the Book? This has to be more specific.

“Bis im esler Solomon!”, he yelled to them.
You don't need the comma since you have the exclamation point; only one piece of punctuation is necessary in dialogue.

*Note1* Overall Impression/Final Comments *Note1*

As soon as your mistakes are cleared up and you add a bit of "meat" to these few paragraphs, the story will be much, much stronger. I continue to seek what I can't find--some type of information from you regarding the placement of these characters and the plot--I am clueless in regards of time and setting...Help me! *Wink*

Thank you for sharing your work.

May your Muse be with you! *Cool*
*Heart* Isabella

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