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1,146 Public Reviews Given
1,147 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a review template that is only used for in depth reviews, usually those that are specifically requested. These will be as comprehensive as I can manage, including everything I have noticed in reading the piece. Most of my reviews, however, are more in the nature of reactions to the piece with brief notes on things I find particularly good and suggestions on dealing with any obvious flaws in the writing.
I'm good at...
Reviews of stuff I particularly like. If I think the writing is good and the ideas original and inventive, I will say so and become enthusiastic about it. I will point out flaws, particularly where I feel that they interfere with a positive reaction to the piece, but I will also offer suggestions for fixing such problems.
Favorite Genres
I have a broad spectrum of genres I'll review. It's easier for me to list the genres I won't touch.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, erotica, overly dark subjects without a good reason for existence.
Favorite Item Types
I'm unsure what is meant by this - I would have thought the genres sections covered this.
Least Favorite Item Types
See previous section.
I will not review...
Again, see the genres section that lists the genres I won't review.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this story. And that comes from someone who sighs and turns away from prompts that call for reasons to cancel Christmas. At last, a good reason! I sympathise entirely with Santa in this case.

The story is particularly effective because the punchline is kept for the very end. This always makes for the best short stories - it's their raisin d'être, after all. The mistimed punchline is the death of all short stories. And this one revels in it, drawing the reason out of Santa in carefully chosen stages so that the reader is avid for the answer by the end. It's expertly done.

Add to that the fact that it's well written, without error, and perfectly paced, and I'm left with nothing to quibble about at all. Well done, indeed!

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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2
2
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ah yes, the horror of the ordinary and every day. There is quite a creepy feeling to this little tale that centres on the relationship between siblings. There is cruelty between some siblings that would not be possible between strangers and this story focuses on that. It's a dark area and shifts the tale into the horror genre - just.

If there's a weakness to it, it lies in the internet aspect. I can believe that a pair of michievous brothers would get up to such a trick, but to put the result on the internet may be going a bit too far. That would speak of a serious problem in the relationship between the brothers and their sister.

Or maybe I'm a bit more squeamish than most. And horror is supposed to be weird, isn't it? As I said, it's an interesting little tale.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Interesting take on the future! Very different but very possible at the same time. I like the technique of conveying most of the info through dialogue - you're good at that.

The one aspect I have some doubt on was that I ended without really having developed a liking for any of the characters. Even the central character struck me as being rather sleazy and unpleasant - I dare say Ocean Princess had a lucky escape from his tender ministrations in the end. Maybe this was intentional - after all, there's no reason why we should like anyone in the future. But it might not be a good plan from the writing point of view.

However, it remains an effective and thought-provoking tale, full of extrapolations into a rather dismal-seeming near future. Very imaginative and well constructed.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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4
4
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
If Sylvester is the cat in the photo, then I understand why he is so smart. It's tuxedo cats - we have a female tuxedo and she's the smartest cat I've ever known.

You poem is short, simple and sweet. States its premise, then backs it up with a few examples and ends with a statement from the cat. What more could a reader ask? Of course, some might expect a longer poem, or more structure, but, if the poem succeeds in getting its message across, then everything else is detail. And detail doesn't always make things clearer - sometimes it serves only to confuse.

In my experience, cat poems are best when kept short and straightforward. It's how they are, after all.

image for pet Day raid


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Beholden
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review of Patching Up Pets  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Interesting little tale with a most unexpected turn of events towards the end. I haven't heard (or read) the expression "toodle pip" in many a long year, so that was a highlight for me. And as for "checking tree-mail," I absolutely love it! Clearly, I'm a sucker for a well-turned phrase.

The story itself is a classic of Sonali's gentle touch and confidential style - so easy in flow, wide-eyed in appreciation of the smallest details. Like "toodle pip," it's somewhat old fashioned but that makes it an old friend too and easy to love.

If I were forced at gunpoint to make a suggestion for improvement, I'd say that the dog names could do with a little more imagination - to add to their characters. But it would be so minor a change 0 hardly worth doing at all.

A most enjoyable read.

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Beholden
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
6
6
Review of A Day at the Zoo  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This one depends very much on what you were trying to achieve. As an amusing little story, it's excellent but doesn't need the final paragraph. The explanation and tying up of loose strings merely serves to soften the impact of the story's point. But, if you intended to write a piece demonstrating an eternal truth, then it's fine. Anyone who has raised a few kids knows how true is the point made.

It's flash fiction so I must presume that the twist in the tail is the main object of the story. And then we don't need to know what happened afterwards or have the moral explained to us. The fact that Albert laughed is sufficient to know that everything turned out fine in the end.

Apart from that fairly minor quibble, the writing is strong, clear and direct. I found no mistakes and there were no problems with flow or pacing. It's a pleasant sliver from daily life that makes an enjoyable story. Well done.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
7
7
Review of The Gun  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is an amusing little tale that delivers its twist in the tail with considerable aplomb. It has one weakness that unfortunately detracts from the impact of the denouement, and that is that it concentrates too much on the "borrowing" of the shotgun. One mention would have been enough and the constant return to it makes it too obviously the spot where the twist is going to happen.

What is needed is some lulling in the middle of the tale. Instead of mentioning the shotgun again and again, allow the reader's thoughts to drift to other things - give the boys something to do beyond driving to town, describe their visit to an unnamed shop, maybe have an incident or two to deflect attention. And then hit them with the discovery of the purpose of the whole thing.

The story is not ruined by the concentration on the shotgun, but it could be stronger if dealt with as suggested. The unexpected hit is always more effective than the telegraphed one. The elements of good flash fiction are present but just need a little polishing, that's all. It's an enjoyable story even so.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
8
8
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a great little tale. It has atmosphere, wonderful characters and a little surprise at the end, all done in only 300 words. It's a lesson in how to establish setting and character without going into long descriptions.

The first sentence throws us immediately into the depression years, when hoboes ran the rails in boxcars, dodging railway officials. That's a wealth of setting and atmosphere achieved in just a sentence. Then there's the two boys, obviously ragged, one barefoot and both boundlessly optimistic, all topped off with their info-laden names. It's subtly and cleverly done. And the final surprise is sprung, not with an Ahah, but a gentle reveal that brings a smile to the reader's face (I'm not saying that my name being based in the same book doesn't add to the effect *Wink*). It's a truly wonderful little story.

There are a couple of tiny errors that I noticed. "He had a sturdy looking leather boots..." needs no "a". And “You’re name's Huck Finn?” - "You're" should be "Your."

But these are microscopic flaws and do nothing to mar the quality of the piece. It's a most enjoyable read and a refreshing boost to my day. Thank you.

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Beholden
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9
9
Review of The Crimson Rose  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very effective and unexpected. It begins as almost a case study of the obsession with collecting that can develop in those who become interested in such things. From there it transforms into a very vivid portrayal of a world drifting into madness as the obsession takes hold and assumes a paranormal aspect. The degeneration of Mallory into control by something resembling a fit or "turn" is extremely well done. Even so, I did not see the crystalline denouement coming in the form it did. That was quite horrific and shocking to imagine.

Considering how few words are needed to convey the process, I think this story is told with masterful skill and assurance. At no point did it allow my attention to wander and the pace of its storyline was very well judged. The characters are well painted too, so that I am left with little to say except to express my appreciation of such excellent writing. The complete lack of errors and typos is evidence of good editing so it's quite a tour de force. Well done indeed!

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
10
10
Review of Griffin's Blade  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I saw you come in and thought I ought to welcome you back. Good to see you. Had a quick read of this and decided to let you know what I think of it so far. Of course, it's barely begun, but the quality of the writing is already obvious. I've been wanting to read a few more detective stories as I'm considering having a go at them myself, so this happens along at a good time for me. Glad you didn't pick the usual era for a setting (those thirties slick and cynical detectives of the golden age of detective novels do get a bit tiresome after a while - every bit of info has to be wrapped in a package of neat, ironic reflection) - I could never learn how to do one of those.

So, if it's okay by you, I'll be happy to read along with your writing as and when required.

As for the story so far - the first chapter is a delicious starter, a taste of everyone's secret desire to be "discovered" and whisked to stardom by a mysterious benefactor. And this is followed by a neatly delivered episode of criminal passion and revenge. Great start!

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11
Review of Sarah  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ooh, scary ending! This one's in the deepest fears class, the kind our imaginations love to construct when the lights go out and we're reduced to primitive beings alone in a dangerous world. It's an effective tale that builds in tension and unease until the final sentence delivers the dreaded blow. And to leave it there is the sharpest point, allowing our personal demons to bring the scariest possible ending.

Of course, the setting assists in the deepest fears thing - there's a sigh of relief as we get inside the house and lock the door. The darkness, so recently a thing to send shivers up the spine, is turned into mere inconvenience, and the cell phone light is another friend. How awful that this apparent safety should be turned so quickly into illusion by the ending!

It's very effective, the writing sparse and clear, giving the reader space to awake personal fears, and a complete lack of errors that gives full reign to the building tension. It's very well done and a fine tale to give one the shivers late at night.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review of Young Love  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Obviously, I agree wholeheartedly. Experience teaches even the wildest soul. And you state your premise clearly, then explain in so many ways how it is true. Only through years of living does such understanding come, and your words make it clear that you know what you're talking about. Write what you know, they say, and you prove them right.

I love your signature trick as well, the bracketed addition to the word "with" to ensure that the double meaning is not lost. This, surely, is a sign that the poet has thought carefully about each word used and the composite meaning being constructed. And the depth of meaning in this poem is confirmation of each point strung together in a necklace of pearls to show the true beauty of the thought.

This is the kind of thing I aspire to and attain so rarely. I ought to begrudge such brilliant talent and envy the one who uses it so well, but I cannot. It just does me good to know that it exists and I am honoured to share in it, even in as simple a thing as a review.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
13
13
Review of A New Invention  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is an amusing little tale of a machine for recreating memories. As a mixture of magic and science, it's a bit odd, but it makes no pretence of serious suggestion. And the whole thing amounts to a romp in the no man's land between dream and memory so anything is possible.

The one area where it gets a bit complicated and hard to understand is the description of the hands inventing themselves. This becomes a maze of hands doing things to hands with little to distinguish between which hands are what. If you see what I mean. This does not matter in the end because none of it really matters - the only problem is whether it should be called a memory or a dream machine. And I'm on Poppy's side for that.

I do wonder where the genre Animal comes in. Perhaps I missed it but I don't recall there being an animal involved. Unless you count a goblin as such. But then you'd have to think about the classification of elves. And they're certainly not human. Personally, I'd take out that one genre and replace it with Children.

But I'm probably being too serious. It is, after all, a bit of fun, an amusing entertainment, and in that it succeeds admirably. Well done.

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Beholden
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
14
14
Review of Hero's Witness  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
An interesting way to get to know someone. The story is fine, with a good ending (I think it's right not to be too clear about the exact result - let the reader work it out). If it has a problem, it's that the timeline is a little difficult to unravel. Let's see if I can explain that.

The first paragraph introduces us to Mark and we begin to learn about Chloe. This happens in church but we don't know that the occasion is. That begins to coalesce in the second paragraph, when Cloe emits an anguished cry. A suspicion is planted but it's only a suspicion.

Then we get into the shooting scene and Mark's parent's advice concerning the Mall. And at the end, we find that Mark has something else on his mind, too. Well, we've been waiting for that ever since we heard that he finds her beautiful. But the suspicion regarding the church service is still only a suspicion. I don't think you would lose anything by settling that in the beginning - it's a funeral. Leaving it unstated means that the reader has to retain it for later confirmation (which never actually comes, although the suspicion is strengthened) and that's distracting from the main thrust of the story.

It's a minor matter and you may feel not worth changing, but I mention it because that is how I reacted to it. Certainly, it does not have a massive impact on the story. The writing is good but you could consider making it a little more impactful by adding some flashes of detail. Tiny things without importance are often triggers to emotion in situations like the shooting and its result, and these bring the telling to life in the reader's mind. For one thing, time is slowed in these experiences and this allows us to notice things that normally we wouldn't. A pen falling from a pocket and bouncing on a tiled floor, for instance - no connection to the main event but stark and vivid so that it remains in the mind forever. I read a description a few days ago of a similar experience and it was told as a series of apparently unconnected details. The result was an account that was surreal in its vivid and realistic impact.

I must congratulate you on your editing. Not a flaw in the whole thing, neither grammatical nor typo. Makes the piece a joy to read. And it was most enjoyable and a very competent piece of writing. Well done indeed.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
15
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Powerful stuff. In flashes of vivid images, you draw a searing picture of a terrible event. I have to somehow distance myself from the event you so skilfully release before me, if I am to comment upon the technical aspects of the poem. It's not easy but easier to sit here just experiencing a thing like that.

So what makes it so powerful? I think it's the build up, the heat and drought portayed in so many details that stick in the mind, leading without drama to the event that tears a hole in the readers understanding. It's so matter of fact, experience delivered in hard, clear sights and incidental thoughts, that it makes the experience the reader's. And that, surely, is the job of poetry.

You have put a whole new aspect on the face of Florida for me. I don't know how better to say how good this poem is.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
16
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Review of Hymn 2  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is rather good. I like it especially because it's different from most attempts at spiritual poetry, being entirely conversational in tone and centred on the nature of God, rather than the spirituality of the poet. Having tried myself often enough to express my relationship to God in verse, I know how difficult it is to come close to an adequate description. I suppose it should annoy me that this succeeds so well where I have failed so many times before. Maybe it's a sign that it's working (this whole spiritual thing) since I feel only happiness in your success.

So, having dealt at length with my own reactions to the poem, I must say a few words about what makes it good. And pick at any flaws if I find any, of course. The rhyming is good, unobtrusive and unforced. But it does create an expectation of metre as a by product. And that can get a bit lumpy at times, my friend. It happens to be one of my obsessions - I insist that my own stuff flows, even when it doesn't rhyme (which is often) and this makes me hypersensitive to flow in others' poetry as well. So my only suggestion is that you read it aloud and fiddle with the metre if you decide to tinker with the piece.

Because otherwise, I can't fault it. I'm actually really keen on it.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
17
17
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
It doesn't say so anywhere, but this appears to be part of a much longer story. Does that matter? I think it does, at least to a reviewer. If it's intended to be a self contained story, it's a bit lacking in a reason for being and would be better off described as a vignette. I mean, I could make a case for it being a story, but I'm not sure everyone would see it that way. For me, the obvious point is that Fyndorian is really a female masquerading as male - hence the insistence on privacy. The description fits better that way, too.

But, if that is the point, it's a bit too well concealed for most readers, I think. So I have to regard it as part of a much longer story. As such, it becomes more gripping, the stranger at the end more threatening, and everything making more sense. I still think Fyndorian's true nature will be revealed at some point, however.

It's interesting in style. The mixture of local dialect, imagined medieval English, and other influences in the dialogue (and thoughts - that's particularly unusual) is brave but I wonder how long you can keep it up. And how long will it be before it irritates the reader? I think in these situations, it's best to go for a local accent that you know very well and stick with it. No matter how medieval the setting, if you say they talk in a certain way, then that's how they talk - as long as it remains consistent.

The slice of story itself is quite attractive. Well written and engaging, it flows well and develops quickly into a very full scene of multiple impressions. It has us quickly on the side of the two main characters and introduces an ominous presence that promises to become a threat to the wellbeing of our heroes. Unless, of course, you're playing with us and he's really a blessing in disguise.

So the whole thing appears just a part of something much greater but, in itself, is an excellent introduction to what may become a book. I'll say this (and I don't say it to everyone), if it were the opening chapter of a book, I'd keep reading. Which is surely the object, isn't it?

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Beholden
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
18
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Obviously, there is something about the Cramp that has allowed it to last for over twenty years while other contests have disappeared. And it may well be that it's the choice of a midday deadline that has resulted in this - I don't recall ever seeing another contest that ends at that time (and is judged very close to that time - most contests take their time to announce results and that might have something to do with the length of their existence too).

Or it may have nothing to do with timing at all. I would point at another fairly unusual property of the Cramp that might well have a lot to do with its durability. And that would be that it awards first place even if there is only one entrant. That must surely add to its attraction to those who have difficulty being noticed in other contests.

Most likely, it's a combination of these and several other factors (not the least of which is the stamina of the owners). But one thing I do know - GMT is the world standard for datelines because the Brits got there first. They had the idea of setting up a standard so they get to keep it. Kinda the universal standard for ideas.

Anyway, I should be commenting upon the quality of the writing, the entertainment value of the piece, and possible suggestions. My problem is, you're too good. If you aren't going to make any mistakes, what is there for me to say apart from a little applause? It's an excellent article, very amusing and well written and not a typo in sight. Well done and the promised applause. *Wink*

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Beholden
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19
19
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
To be honest, I thought the story fell a bit flat because it contained so lttle tension. If the narrator is to be believed, one side had all the power and magic, the other only ignorance. Because the elves were so talked up (they even had a dragon on their side), it never seemed that they had a chance of losing the fight. And so it proved, according to the description of the battle.

I guess I'm saying that the story needs more balance if it is to have the necessary level of conflict to make the reader care who wins. Most stories do this by having the baddies with greater power and force, so that the goodies can win through by intelligence, luck, or divine intervention (because they're the good guys, after all).

Bit of a quibble about the dragon, too. He gives the elves a winning advantage as it is, but, if his scales are the size of a man's shield, that's one huge dragon. Relating that to the illustration, that makes the elven lady (presumably Viridea) positively enormous. At that rate, all she needs to do is stomp on the invading humans.

I do get it - it's a fantasy, so much leeway is allowed and even expected. But there's also the reader's suspension of belief to be taken into account. And there needs to be at least a relation to reality involved. Sorta second cousin level, for instance.

As regards writing, the piece is fine, with vivid description, fast paced action and interesting developments of otherworldly characteristics. No technical or grammatical errors as well. I just can't help feeling the story needs a little more oomph.


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20
20
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of My Apologies, Mr. Smith by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

That was definitely different. I confess you caught me out completely with the guy in the back seat. Didn't see that coming at all. A bit easier to guess at Mr Smith's transformation into a bad guy - but such an unusual method of killing. With all those special contraptions in the murderer's car, it really was an automatic!

As well written and edited as all your stories I've read so far, this displayed a perticularly original and unusual imagination, both in the sudden switching of sources of danger, and in the weird killing apparatus. Death by crushing - hardly bears thinking about.

It did occur to me that you could easily make the story longer and more complex by introducing a link between the guy in the back seat and Mr Smith. Smith could have persuaded the shadow man to hide in the car and so give Mr Smith the chance to appear as the good guy. That would give the story even more evil and tortuous machinations behind the ultimate goal. It would make Mr Smith a seriously nasty bad guy in that Sybil would not be his only victim that night - the poor shadow guy ends up sitting in a cell in the police station.

Anyway, it was just a thought. Very good story, and most enjoyable, that's my summary.

Review by
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Beholden

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21
21
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of Spoof Review:Movie Classic "Halloween" by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

This is excellent stuff. I've never seen the movie but I feel now that I know everything that happens in it, thanks to your fine summary. An important point is that it's your trademark asides that provide the punch to the narrative and keeps us in the lighthearted mood you intend.

Tables turned at the end, of course. But Michael manages to sneak out while no one's looking - got to prepare for Halloween 2 no doubt. You've made the movie seem quite watchable, which is really the joke, I suppose. As a horror classic it's meant to chill and terrify, not be enjoyed!

As usual, you leave me no flaws and whoopsies to comment upon so that all I can do is point to the good writing, the clever twisting of the horrific to the amusing, and the jaundiced eye view that you do so well. It's a very modern and sophisticated take on the horror movie scene that you specialise in. Who better to satirise a movie than one who really enjoys it?

I did find one tiny thing that I can point at. Your choice of Contest for a genre pick is not ideal as no one searches for that genre. So it might be best to swap it for something else - Dark, for instance. Otherwise it's a great piece and much fun was had by all.

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Beholden

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22
22
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of Greetings from a Gruesome Gargoyle by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

This is an amusing tale that uses the idea of a gargoyle that roams the library during the month of October seeking mischief. The personality of the creature comes through quite strongly and we follow it through several adventures in which it creates accidents through the simple trigger of falling books. And it eats books (always wondered what they ate).

The whole tale is told through the eyes of the gargoyle which brings the reader much closer into the story than if it were reported from another view. We are, at least to some extent, on the creature's side, enjoying its harmless little tricks and schemes. It's amusing but not hilarious.

There is a slight weakness right at the end, where you allow yourself to comment on things with a few exclamations and noises. Doesn't work, I'm afraid - we're a bit too jaded and cynical these days to go along with such forms of expression in text form. I know it's an attempt to illustrate the sudden pain of the rattrap mishap, but it'd better to let us watch rather than hear it happen.

But it's a fun piece overall and bound to brighten our days. Good work!

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Beholden

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23
23
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of A Thanksgiving Story by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

What a wonderful story! The irony is that I nearly passed it by. I saw that it was described as a recipe and thought, 'Not for me.' But I looked closer anyway and was delightfully surprised. It's really the story of how a brilliant new recipe was invented and applauded by everyone.

I love everything about the tale. The idea of turning the hot tub into a slow cooker was sheer genius and even gives rise to my theory about why it worked so well. Since you effectively parboiled the bird, none of the juices could escape and they were trapped to provide all the taste on the day. It's a possibility, you must admit. And it gives us some sense of how all our complex ways of cooking food were invented. It was probably all the result of happy accidents.

Not only the turkey but this story too benefits from your inventiveness. Your telling of the tale is excellent, bringing out the comedic aspects without forcing them upon us - there's a glint in your eye and a smile on your face throughout. We all end up having fun!

I cannot fault this story in any way. Like your newsletters, it showcases your remarkable talent in turning true events into entertaining reads for others. Thank you!

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Beholden

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24
24
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of The Not So Calm Before the Storm by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

I love your description of the disparate group of birdwatchers (called "twitchers" in Britain, strangely enough). An odd bunch indeed!

This is an account of the group settling into a forest cabin, to the accompaniment of various troubles, caused mostly by a resident and badly behaved cat. Order is eventually restored when the owner, a little old lady, returns to find the group occupying her home. In case we thought that was the end of the shenanigans, there is a parting shot from the cat, whose eyes glow red as it casts a look at the narrator. There are more troubles ahead, it seems...

Description in the piece is handled with considerable skill, each person being dealt with in a few telling and amusing words, and the view from the window proving to be suitably sylvan. The action does become a little disjointed and is hard to foloow in places. For instance: "landing right on Mr. Twitch’s neck, forcing his head backward and through the window" - I had difficulty in picturing this, imagining that the cat had jumped on Twitch's back, in which case it wouldn't have been able to force his head back. So it must have landed on his neck and chest, but we should have this explained. It would also be good to let us see the glass shattering, instead of learning about that later.

I found a couple of minor errors:

"My mini mix of binocular toters pushed passed me" - pushed past, not "passed"

"until the doorknob opened" - I think the doorknob turned and it was the door that opened.

Otherwise, it's a merry old romp with plenty of action, strained personal relationships and amusing incidents. Quite a carry on!

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Beholden

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25
25
Review of The Stroll  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of The Stroll by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

An interesting take on life and death, this one. That we should be cajoled into death is a thought that requires some pondering. Although I can certainly accept that a mother's love for the child is so strong that a fierce fight is required to persuade her to abandon her responsibility.

The story is well told and progresses smoothly fom beginning to end, the final paragraphs being like an epilogue to explain what happened and to tie up a few loose ends. I did find a couple of things that could be improved but nothing major. I'll list them below:

"the peculiarly attractive shop" It doesn't tell us anything about why it's attractive.
The word "peculiarly" is the narrator's opinion and we learn nothing from it. The sentence would probably be better without it.

"The door seemed to open with barely a touch..." Seemed to open? It either opened or it didn't. Perhaps you were hoping to add to the rather dazed feeling she's had as she walks around the mall, but this doesn't really help.

Apart from that, it's a fine little tale with an original suggestion for our understanding of the end of life in the tail. Very enjoyable

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Beholden

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