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428 Total Reviews Given
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76
76
Review of The Dance  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I got caught up in this, when you were describing the speed and setting the atmosphere i found myself starting to read faster.

So your story certainly connected with me.

I like the dialogue used to set the telling of the story up, that worked well.

The description of the pool was great.

Grammar i just do not know enough to offer an opinion.

Quite a lot told in a small word count, nice job.


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77
77
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A good story with a moral. 'Don't be a dick!'

The sad thing is there are people who would do this sort of thing instead of being responsible and staying safe.

Anyway the writing.

I enjoyed your writing, as you had your character's running back I could imagine the heat. I found myself holding my breath at one point.

The dialogue used worked and fit the story line well.

A nice piece of writing, thank you.


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78
Review of The Diner  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice, this made me smile as I finished reading this.

Fair enough it is left so we can make our own minds up on how it actually turned out for them, so in my version they went out got married had 4 kids he won a big science prize and she became a script writer.

You could take this in any direction, my ending was a bit of fun from a middle aged mans point of view but you turn it into a dark story where they disappear into the night never to be seen again or she/he could attack the other.

I liked the way the girl took control in the end. The dialogue between them worked well, it fit the story.

Nice job


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79
79
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I thoroughly enjoyed this.

One thing I have gotten from reviewing others work is I am reading things that normally I would not. Horror or dark genre stuff would be a definite no no.

I enjoyed the dialogue between the characters it seemed real. You described a bloody scene without going over the top with graphic content, which for me works better because my imagination can fill in the blanks.

Thank you for helping to introduce me to a new genre of writing that I may try myself one day.


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80
80
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nice job. I had no idea which way you were going to take this story.

I enjoyed the way you told the story froom the girls mind.

To be fair i like what you did it was a nice twist at the end and it left you plenty of scope to take it further.

I started asking who, what is she? Why is she hunting in the street? Does she have a bigger plan?

So to answer some of those questions or some of the thoughtas i had about expanding this.

was she a soldier sent as a scout to scope out humanity as a food world? What was her end goal? Just to feed or something deeper, darker? Had she targetted this guy in particular? Was she an assisin for hire?

All types of potential. Nice job


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81
81
Review of Be With Me  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the story but the way you have laid it out makes it hard to read with the split sentences.

Your descriptive phrases work well, in fact some nice pictures have been painted but again they fragment with the layout.

You have a good beginning to your story, you set up the reasoning for him being sent out in front of the main party and it leads well into the final part of your story.

A nice well written story, I would urge you to edit the layout for ease of the story flowing.

Again only my opinion and it does not alter the fact the story worked well.


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82
82
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A nice little scene here.

You paint a nice picture here with such a small word count.

You have a nice introduction to your character then you set up the scene for her to be somewhere with a sky full of stars.

Then you add a bit of mystery by mentioning him.

Whoever him is. You could develop this further by expanding on him. Who is he? Where did they meet? What was their relationship? Why are they not together?

Nice writing well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
83
83
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Yes a horrible disease and you have managed to capture a lot of the feelings most people feel when they hear that word leave the doctors mouth.

Like most people my age I can relate to this I have lost loved ones to this disease and the sentiments that you have expressed were very close to those I felt when my mother sat me down to tell me that she had got throat cancer.

It does take over your life it I all you can think about, all you can focus on. I know there are more survivors than in previous years but even so it still takes too many.

A nice well written piece of writing, very descriptive and very to the point.


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84
84
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, The dialogue worked well in this piece.

Your story flowed through from the beginning to the end with no trouble.

Only thing I would question would be her ability to fight properly with a foot that badly damaged. Or maybe I have misread it.

Either way it is your story and it was constructed well.

You have plenty of options to expand on the story. All sorts of different directions to take when she reaches the mountain. Her grandfather was not really kidnapped but is part of some bigger conspiracy. Her grandfather is killed and she goes off after revenge. Loads of things.

I enjoyed reading it. Well done


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85
85
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A crafty little tale.

You captured kids logic perfectly with this and the length a coniving big brother will go to to throw suspicion away from themselves. I know i was that big brother.

The terminology and dialogue works well that you have used between the siblings.

Overall a nice little story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of It Burned  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Definately got the horror and scary part right.

Nothing more frightening than a mob on a rampage.

The sad thing is although something on the scale you have written about is unlikely there is just enough elements that in theory it could happen.

Hence my next line. You have scope here to take this in a lot of directions. Are the mob part of a cult? Demonic worship/religion? Terrorist group concealing their true identity behind the masks? Government plot to cover up a viral breakout?

You get my idea there is so much you could do from here.

You used some nice decriptive phrases that worked well. In particular the remark about the children burning, paints a pretty graphioc picture.

Well done, i enjoyed reading this


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of the other side  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nice play on the classic fairy tail. Justice prevails.

Quite a lot in this story even though it is a small word count.

Told from the point of view of a lot of denial for their actions.

Some nice descriptive phrases used to set the scene up for the next little bit.

I enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing it with us.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
88
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Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow what can I say?

A good story with enough science in it to be not too overwhelming but enough to make sure we know what's going on. I say this because in the past I have read stories that are that top heavy with scientific theories and explanations you lose the plot in the detail.

A sad end that reinforces the old phrase 'do not put off what you can do today.'


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of TIME  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A lot of feeling in this piece, not sure if this was a real incident or not but I now a lot of evil things done in the pursuit of land.

Anyway I can feel the pain from the main character. Always hits hard when children are involved.

The last few lines you give the feeling of hope renewed.

A nice piece of writing with some meaningful content.


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Review of Drowning  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Very dark indeed. You got a lot of feeling in such a small word count. The feeling of helplessness and of giving up came through at the end.

The feeling of panic was there but if you could have gotten just a little bit more of sheer panic in the story it may have highlighted the tension a bit more. easy to say I know.

You still did a great job, it made me think about your writing and how you could take it further. Maybe it was a dream, or he wakes in hospital after a swimming incident, maybe he was a government agent and his cover was blown.

My opinion about the extra feeling of panic is just that my opinion your story worked well.


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91
91
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I enjoyed reading this. The voice of the young werewolf telling the story worked well. Even though you could guess what was happening it still drew you along into the story.

Some scope if you want to take this further.

For example; Is the mom and dad werewolves? If not how come the lad is? Are they in hiding from a pack? or travelling to a pack?

Do you see what I mean plenty of room the grow, if you carry on telling it from the laads point of view the tone could change as her grows into his birth right.

Nice story well told, keep up the good work


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
92
92
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Nice sequel. The language used fit the dialogue better with this one. You are on to something here. I will be eagerly waiting for the next instalment of this tale.

Its got the flavour of a post apocalyptic era coupled with the sword and sorcery most fantasy enthusiast like.

The modern characters you have drafted in and used work well.

If I could make a suggestion, because you have got a lot of close quarter battle going on if ever you needed to use close quarter shock troops a few men with sawn off shotguns would be devastating in this situation.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
93
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Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Nice. I like what you have done here, although I do not like the idea of anyone of French descent taking over England.

I love the way you have woven old with new. it has worked very well.

The dialogue you have used between your characters works although in the real world and knowing my countrymen there would be a lot more anglo-saxon words used in the vocabulary.

When you start asking questions about what would happen if this ever did occur then there are lots to speculate about, the crusades. Napoleon's European take over. The development of America. You have lots you can do with this. I look forward to see how you take it forward.


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Review of Halloween Peace  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very nice. I can relate to this having two children of my own and three step children.

These life lessons are always fun when they are that age. They take everything so literally.

It is a good way to make a point though.

I thought your dialogue worked well, especially the last few lines.

Well done a nice piece of writing, a bit of fun and a message within its content.


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95
95
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I tumbled over this whilst using the read and review tool.

I agree with everything you say here.

I cannot really comment on much by the seeing things myself as although I have been a member of the site a long time until recently I was pretty silent, not joining in activities etc.

The reason being my first ever static item got slated by one reviewer nothing encouraging at all. Other reviewers told me the same thing but they came with tips and hints on how to improve.

This may not actually tie up with your points but what I am getting at is the behaviour of others can have a negative affect. It was a very long time before I got involved the site again after that one incident.

I hope you are well now. Good luck in all that you do.


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96
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Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Nice funny little story, in fact you could adapt this into a joke easily. Not too sure on the children's genre though. Although no graphic content or swearing there is an implied innuendo at the for the punch line as it were.

It would just need them to know why the priest was there. Only a thought and in no way a reflection on what was a funny little tale.


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97
97
Review of The Scheme  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
When I first started reading this I was imagining some sort of dark business plot to rob thousands from a large company. You had me hook, line and sinker there.

If that was the intent it worked'

It was not until The latter part of the dialogue came in that the penny dropped.

I enjoyed this the twist at the end made me smile.


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98
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Review of Dear Diary  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow a lot of feeling in this piece of writing. This is filled with emotion a lot of sadness with a splash of happiness to flavour it up.

The term being cruel to be kind spins up to the top here.

Your title says short story although this feels like there is some truth in here more autobiographical than fiction. If this is fiction you have done a cracking job.


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Review of Love  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A nice piece of writing passionate, full of examples and references.

You ask questions and provide some answers you offer a lot of your opinion here.

I agree with some of your points, not all of them but that's called free spirit and only my opinion, we all have one. The one thing I do agree with is the getting hurt part.

Unfortunately being hurt by one you love can have devastating affects on a person and how that person interacts with other from that point on.

Some very nice descriptive work and your examples were well used to.

A good piece of writing that could lead to lots of debate>


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100
100
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I was halfway through before I realised where he was. Very good.

It shows what a well written story can do. If you had chosen just a few minor alterations and the age of the boy it could have been the start of a car chase, The murder of a husband by a jealous lover, anything.

I might try this sort of story myself. Even though it is a short story three hundred words is still an achievement to get a whole story in such a short word count well done.


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