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215 Public Reviews Given
382 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Jess
Rated: E | (5.0)
My favorite part of this rather short piece was the last stanza. It really sticks with you!

I also love how you've used the periods to break up the second line so much, it adds a lot of effect.

Nature is gorgeous, but I guess it has to go sometimes.

Nice job!
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27
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was created on my birthday *Bigsmile*

Even though you've chosen very, very few words, the reader still gets the feeling the author is trying to portray. And with much ease.

You get a good feeling of spring, color, leaves, and nature.

No errors that I saw, nice job!
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28
Review by Jess
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Another great chapter! I love being notified when you've posted a new edition; very convinient.

I found no gramatical or spelling errors at all, and not even one phrase that might be worded better.

I'm wondering if all the senitmental things about Treasa might be a bit of foreshadowing. The doll and the name...

The part where she comes out with being pregnant was shocking, and very unexpected.

Nice job, you've well earned a 5.0!
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Review by Jess
Rated: E | (5.0)
The fourth of ten.

This has to be my favorite so far!

I can see why you've earned the awardicon and the privelage of being published!

I haven't got even one suggestion for this one imparticular. The rhyme was, again, surprisingly consistant.
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Review by Jess
Rated: E | (4.5)
The third of ten.

The rhyme scheme on this was surprisingly consistant and a pleasure to read!

Something that I noticed:

"We'll take the Kits, if they are good
And stay with you, just like they should."

I think between "And" and "Stay" you need "They'll" because it sounds like the one speaking is talking of itself.

Other than that, perfect!
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31
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (4.5)
Again, I am so sorry this is taking so long, I've been crazy busy.

The Second of Ten

I loved this! I tend to say that a lot, but I thought the picture was very cute and your rhythym was good.

Something that might be fixed:

"She looked at all the poorly Kits,"

In this circumstance, I think "sickly" might be the best word to use, but that's just my thought.

The last stanza was my favorite! I think the fifth stanza's ending was a little awkward sounding.

Other than that, good job!
32
32
Review of Guns and wands,  
Review by Jess
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
That was really neat!

I noticed a few things that might be fixed:

"However, the man standing before him didn't appear as if he were out to kill him, so Churchill relaxed. Only sligthly."

"out to kill him" sounds very extreme, I think it would be better if you put "out to harm him" or something.
Also, "sligthly" is spelled wrong. It should be "slightly"




“Not exactly, as you might have probably guessed already, the respective muggle and wizarding ministries have separate governments. "

"might have probably guessed" sounds weird. Maybe you could put "as you might have guessed"

Other than that, this was really good!
33
33
Review of Inspiration  
Review by Jess
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
That was so neat! The beat was very steady and fun to read.

Those muses can be such a pain sometimes!

But it seems yours was with you all the while writing this, because it is very good!

I was sondering, what does Mon Dieu mean?

Good job with this!
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34
Review by Jess
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Nice write! I enjoyed it.

My two favorite lines were these:

"But it is heart’s blood with which I write"

"Lest none protest man’s cruelty to man."

Those are great!

I didn't really know what to think your poem was about, since it jumped topics a few times.

I think after the very first line you need a comma, not a period, though. Other than that, it doesn't need very much editing at all!
35
35
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved the part about dissapearing into the study, I don't know why but I found that really funny!

Nice layout, it is very organized and easy to read.

Being a writer-mother sounds like a very tough job, but you appear to be doing a very nice job!

Have yourself a Happy Easter day!

Oh, and I visited that link *Wink*
36
36
Review by Jess
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
These are the best kind, the ones that just come to you and you can't even help it!

I like how you used the green font, I'm guessing to represent the garden.

One thing I saw:

"Can’t they see, can’t they feel, that they don’t have to kill"

You've put two spaces between "see," and "can't"

Other than that, good job!
37
37
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh, that sounds like such a horrible loss!

You two seem like you were very close. I couldn't stop looking at the picture, it's so pretty! And so are the dresses, I love them!

The flow and the tune were very nice, and this was beautifully writtem.

Good job!
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Review of "Why"  
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nice poem!

Was the break up completely out of the blue? Or had they been having problems?

That sounds dreadfull, 5 years and then it's all gone.

Your meter was a little awkward, aaaa-bbb-ccccc is not a very common rhyme scheme.

Other than that, good job!
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Review of London is burning  
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (4.5)
It's horrible that so many had to die, and in such gruesome ways.

"London is Burning"... that's a really short but attention catching phrase.

The fourth stanza was my favorite, it's really what the entire poem is about. The others are really good, too.

Good job!
40
40
Review by Jess
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very nice, I really liked it!

"“We’ll have to leave Eire. There’s no other choice is there?” He said rhetorically.

“No, I suppose not. But what brings you here before a port?” He said curiously."

I think it sounds awkward with "he said rhetorically" and "he said curiously" so close together. Perhaps you could re write it like this:

"“We’ll have to leave Eire. There’s no other choice is there?” He said rhetorically.

“No, I suppose not. But what brings you here before a port?” The man replied"

"“Séamus had no choice he did what had to be done. It'll be fine dear; you'll see, things will turn out all right.” "

The first sentence of that is a run on. You need a comma after "choice"


Other than that, great job! I'm anticipating the next chapter.
41
41
Review by Jess
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
That was so funny!

I loved the ending. The Photo was really neat, also.

One thing I noticed:

"but Mary had quashed that suggestion. "

Did you mean "squashed"?

Other than that, it was good.

Nice job splitting up the paragraphs, it was very easy to read.

Thanks,
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42
Review of Wench  
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello SHEA

Thanks for you entry in "Invalid Item"  !

Nice job in writing this, I really like the mood you set with words.

The words flow very well together and the rhyme scheme is constistant.

Good job and good luck in the contest!
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Review of Pain  
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello SHEA

Thanks for your entry in "Invalid Item"  !

Nice job with this, and it's so true, pain can in turn be a very precious gift of strength. I seem to recall a quote that goes along very well with this: "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"

Good job and good luck in the contest!
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44
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello mars

Thanks for your entry in "Invalid Item" 

Nice job! I really liked it. One thing I noticed:

"My gift was gifted by anonymous,a bit sad, but understandable. So I wrote a small thank you, on the appropriate location. And felt even more happy."

After the word "anonymous" there needs to be a space before the comma. Also, that entire phrase sounds a little weird.

Try writing it like this:

"My gift was gifted by anonymous. A bit sad, but understandable. So I wrote a small thank you in the appropriate location, and felt even happier."

Other than that, great job!
45
45
Review by Jess
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Nice thoughts, I interpreted it the same way.

Muhammed has led the future of Islam into believing that haveing up to four marital partners is justly; while I do not agree, probably becuase I follow the Bible and not the Quaran.

I doubt the Islamic religion was based on a sexist state of mind, but that's exactly what it is with polygamy being allowed and polyandry not. Whether there be different set backs or not.

Nice collection of thoughts here, thanks for the read.
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Review of Friends Of Old  
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello mars

Thanks for your entry in "Invalid Item"  !

Nice topic for your poem and this is a very qualified entry.

Ii really loved you font and font color!

Good job in writing this and good luck in the contest!
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Review of Jessica Kate  
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Brenpoet

Thanks for your entry in "Invalid Item"  !

Very nice flow of words here, I really enjoyed it!

I also loved your font, font color, and the little buggy picture at the top! *Wink*

Good job and good luck in the contest!
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Review of My Joy  
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Dark Knight

Thanks for your entry in "Invalid Item"  !

This is a very nice dedication poem and fits the prompt very well. Good flow of words, but with the commas being used so often, the rhythem feels choppy. I would suggest taking a few commas out where they aren't really needed. Other than that, great job and good luck in the contest!
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49
Review of THE GIFT.  
Review by Jess
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello,

Thanks for your entry in "Invalid Item" 

I don't think I've ever read a poem or story based on birthmarks, very creative!

No spelling or grammer errors that I saw; nice job!

Good write and good luck in the contest!
50
50
Review of Grace  
Review by Jess
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, and thanks for your entry in "Invalid Item"  !

I like the note at the beginning to the reader, it sort of prepares them for the type of poem. And I agree, it really is like a puzzle!

Good job writing this and good luck in the contest!
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