This is excellent. One very moving poem. I love the rythem and the wording. Can be taken several different ways. Oh this is very well done. Blue ribbon worthy if I've seen blue ribbon worthy.
I am not a poem reviewer. I do not know the different styles and punctuation for poems well enough to input there. This though is mind moving, Ecspecially if your in the boat of futility.
I am sitting here shaking my head for the thoughts this provokes into the light of day, it fits so well with what I deal with everyday.
Kudos to you!
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
blue ribbon on it's way please note your story will be added to
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Interesting idea, run with it. Though I have to know do you remember the girl in the blue's name. Like the scifi affect to looking at a picture.
Though someone without the inside knowledge may not get the concept here. LOL!
Interesting start to story all the same. Will be waiting to see where you go with it.
"smile"
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
Very nicely done. "A sure Thing!" sounds like a great title.
Even willing to bet there is enough "sure thing's" up your sleeve to make this into a fine book with excellent chapters of adventure and shinanigans. Especially with Slim's umm jail times.
Will be waiting to read more.
Write on!
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
Just stumbled upon this read. An excellent chapter. Can't wait to read more. The characters are vivid, the author manages to bring the characters to life through action words . Scenes play out through your mind as you read, even the romantic parts are nicely done, not too over done.
Excellent job all the way around . Write on!
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
I cried at the images you paint here. This is a great story on clear cutting and the damages it does.
Just last summer I was affected by clear cutting of woodlands I've called heart home for years. (My grandmothers land) Eighty acres of trees and rocks cleared of the majestic trees. I was so affected I believe I actually lost my mind on the hillside that day. Truly not what I wanted to see happen to that land.
Money the evil of this world, no doubt there.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
I only found one place you might want to check spelling of reforestation. Other than that no comments on grammar or spelling.
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
An interesting story. Communication between generations of family would bring alot of changes and probably stop a whole lot of pain and suffering.
The scientific ramifications would be absolete in no time. Cancer research, and the many viruses would be erradicated.
I liked the addition of the museum and quarter collection. Wonder if in the future there is even a United States let alone Quarters from all 50 states.
An interesting story to say the least.
Thank you for sharing.
Cemetarykat may your angel watch over you, always!
Thought I had already reviewed and rated but guess I was in a hurry to use the information here to finish my article, sorry about that Diva.
This is a very helpful article on a new process on WDC. I knew the day I was doing research for a writing contest in which the contest asked for popnotes to be added, that I had just recently read how to add these but didn't know how to find that again. Not having a great memory I have found the search to really help if I can remember at least one word of the article title I am looking for again.
I plugged popnotes into search and the only article which popped up was this of Diva's. It was not the original article but I figured to read it would help me to accomplish the task.
It did easily explained and precise enough to make the process pretty fast. It is complicated and you can get easily lost while adding the popnotes. I managed with this articles help. I very much appreciate the helpful article and so easily at hand.
Thanks Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
This is an excellently told story. The main points are brought forth in the body of the story , without too much detail to bore the reader. Detailed discriptions written as part of the story the reader rolls right along.
Such happy thoughts and wonderful scenes roll through the mind throughout. Even the sadder parts are told in such a way your smiling as the tears begin to fall.
The reader never suspects the ending,great job on that too.
The older mans' quote brought forth a picture of my own father waiting on his third grandchild. An old hand at the hospital by that time.
This quote to be so important to the main character later could be used at a later date. Able to tie into his own grandchildren's birth. If the author so chose to continue the story at a later date.
A lesson in differences of character and tenacity for sure. This is a good story. A good point made.
I did see several grammar errors and spelling mistakes. Toward the end you have Sebastian going down a hill into the car park , sliding on its side to a stop. You then have Dr. Allan helping him but he is laying on a floor. He is not inside so this does not make since.
I ssuggest reading as though you did not write yourself. Many of these are simple errors that just slipped through. Brake should have been break, things like this are not caught by spell check.
Good story though. Thank you for sharing.
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
Normally I do not review poems. This one caught my attention. Title is attention getting. I like the pattern. It flows right for the thoughts.
I am not quite sure that all the (of's ) are neccesary . Wouldn't one of in the beginning , and the ... starting each line be sufficient?
Of course in the end it is your piece and only you know best, just a suggestion from the reader's point of view. I know little about poems please keep that in mind.
Thank you for sharing.
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
A very interesting piece of writing. I can not decide if it is an entery in a diary or someone telling someone else a story. It seems as if two different views are portrayed here. Then in this situation it works. Sometimes the mind and the heart are at war.
In this case the female wants to be happy for her childhood sweetheart. We all want are friends to be happy. Yet, this same person has stuck a knife directly in her heart, she asks Why do these two have the right to hurt her like this?
Of course asking yourself this question you never get an answer. Asking another you will most likely get a simple been there done that type answer.
The biggest step in maturing seems to be how we handle that first love and it's inevitable destruction!
Well done, it works just as it is.
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
Well written. I do find a couple of incomplete words. Figure your mind was working faster than your fingers could type.
The scenes are well described and painted a good picture for the reader to follow the actions in their mind. This chapter alone is understandable and easy to follow. I will have to check out the rest as I am now drawn into the story.Now wanting to know more about this Thar and the land he comes from.
The characters are all well described. I did get confused in the beginning as a Jerreme is mentioned yet no explanation as to whom this is. They shut the door and bolted it yet whom is this person?
Thank you for sharing.
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
This is a poem, I am not one to review poems as I do not know the forms or styles.
This poem though brought many emotions to the surface, yet I smile for yes your mother is in heaven and guarding over your family. Death of a loved one is very hard to accept. The stages of grief don't always seem to apply, yet somehow you have brought forth the beauty of death too.
I enjoyed reading this a good deal, having been through the process of letting go of deaths emotions through the written word myself. I know this is hard to accomplish when the mind is a mass of words you wish to say to your loved one.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful tribute to your mother.
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
A nicely told story of heartache and pain. Yet such a spin of togetherness and family you have to smile. A lot of regression to other stories but this can be good and keeps the momentum of the story building.
I really like the ending and do hope your girls give you your final wish. Though I would much rather you get the chance to see Jamaica yourself with your daughters.
Loved the little bit of your sister seeing dead people, she would have really been haunted by that one. Bet she was glad you were asked to do that not her.
It is good to know some do get their final last wish. Hope your daughter had a wonderful and healthy child too. Yes, you are right death is just a step to another wonderful life.
Nice job, Write on!
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
Beautiful and touching words for a life cut so short. It is such a shame so many wonderful lives are taken from us by automobiles. Many tears are shed over such things. Your words are heart felt and uplifting to know your child is in God's arms now. The beautiful sights are waiting there for all, for now she enjoys those sights while she waits for you.
God bless you and may your angel be with you always!
One correction needed. You touched so many lifes (lives). Other than that all seems very nicely done.
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you, always!
Strong Feelings raw and burning are displayed in this story. The torment and agony displayed clearly by the female character. Well done. The pitifulness of the man her tormentor now at her mercy. Sad but truth for many. Tormentor and tormented switching places and one must always try to forgive.
Forgiveness can be hard but it always brings you higher in the stance of being the better person.
Nicely done. No apparant grammar or spelling mistakes.
Write On!
Cemetarykat,
May your angel watch over you, always!
A very interesting poem.
I am not into forms of poems so not sure there but it flows smoothly. I interpreted this two different ways actually , I felt that is worth mentioning. The first time I read. I saw four people in a family that collectively have a secret to hide. The bloody razor being the "secret".
Rereading a second time I then picture four different individuals all struggling with their own inner demons. One of them or maybe all of them eventually committing suicide.
Very interesting poem here. Thank you for sharing!
Actually a very excellent display of the future and possibilities that are present.
I love the comparisons. The story is well told. I do find a couple spots toward the end in the exchange. Where some need capitilization and punctuation change. There is also an instance where I believe there should be a (?) not a coma. Most are small and do not interfere with the story itself.
The city, and kennel are well described and you truly believe the story is one til you reach the twist at the end. Nicely done!
Write On!
Cemetarykat
May your angel watch over you,always!
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