Once someone is gone, it's always better to not let them back in. Never let the walls down. Much easier. Or, you could always play them the way they played you? ;-p
This is a nice writing. I only caught a couple things:
1) Make sure you're using the correct form of "your" and "you're."
2) There are a few spelling errors - "realize" (unless you're in Europe) and "disappear"
This is really sad. If you feel that way about someone, you really should tell them personally. The worst thing that can happen is that they can tell you to they're not interested. But, at the very least, you wouldn't have to go through the pain of pining for someone.
Hi. Thanks for sharing your writing. Good story line but there are some areas that need to be considered. Right now it is difficult to read because there are so many run-on sentences. Look for areas to add pauses, put in periods, use semicolons.
Hi, thank you for your writing. Your poem is pretty, but needs some cleaning up - primarily in your word "tenses."
I remember those bright brown eyes
And the way it stare at me ("it" should be "they")
It seems like it melt me (("it" should be "they")
For it's the most beautiful eyes that I ever ("it's" should be "they're")
Those big warm arms that hugged me
Embraced me until the sun shines
And hold me every time along the way of life (consider "throughout life")
I never thought that these days would come
I'm so alone because you are gone
Can't hold my breath clearly
For you is my air honey ("is" should be "are")
How I wish you could look at me again
Smile at me and hugged me ("hugged" should be "hug")
Kiss me with those sweet lips of yours
And don't ever lose my hands to yours
No, don't let go
Don't shut your eyes for I’m in front of you
You should hold on to your breath for I’m here
Please, I love you
I do love you from the core of my heart
I want you to stay
Stay by my side forever
And cherish our love together
I never thought that sky will fall
Now how I wish that this one last kiss never happened.
As, such truer words have never been spoken. It's amazing. I am a believer in the theory that true love never really dies - thinking, much like your writing says - unfed love just disappears. But even in the absence of love, when the neutrality sets, there is an underlying sense of care; always will be.
I am sure what you wrote is really good but it's impossible for most people to read because due to the spacing and lack of form. To get better ratings and to prompt people to read it, you should go back in and re-space it so the formatting is right. Once you do that, before hitting submit, check the button that says "preserve spacing" or something like that.
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