Aww...I love fairy stories
This one was both enjoyable and entertaining!!
Easy to read and yet challenging
A great job and wonderful writing
A great and good and happy story that is joy to read
Thank you so much for sharing it with us here at WDC
Interesting story!! a wonderful short and very well written !!! great job! The content is good and I didn't spot any huge grammatical mistakes, so great job!!
Oh I see this is for a contest well good luck
WOW, this is wonderul it really exemplifies the meaning of time! which is so mysterious in so many waays. this is good poem a bit choppy in some places but very impressive for a begginer poet!! great job and a wonderful poem
WOW this is a wonderful and insightful poem!! the content is great and you have described this so well it is as though we as readers are ther with you. wonderful content and meaning! I didn't see any glaring grammatical mistakes so that is great. Overall I think you have done a great job editing this poem, it is fabulous!!
This is my favorite line out of many!! For this wonderful poem it is really hard to choose a favorite part!! because it is all good
You have done a very good job in creating this piece and I would like to say....WRITE ON~!!! WRITE FOREVER~!!!
WELCOME TO WRITING.COM!!! I hope you enjoy your time here!! this is a wonderful community filled with all sorts of activities!! check out the Writers Cranp it is a contest and it is great!!
WOW this is sensational!! the feeling really jumps off of the page and you have done a great job in getting your point across to the reader!!
Hugging really does help and it really does make you feel better!!
Great job with this poem!! I saw it on the review request page so I just had to check it out.
A wonderful inspiration. Fall is so beautiful the descriptive words and imaginative phrases really add to this quite a bit. Overall a really wonderful piece of poetry!!
This is a strong piece. though extremely short the emotionis exemplary. im shoould be I'm or I am but other than that i really didn't see any glaring grammatical errors. So good job
One thing that I would liketo see is more of it, so get to writing
Wow... well I don't understand how someone could have rated this three stars it is much better than that!! Again the emotions seem to seep off of he page and that is wonderful
You have really done a wonderful job in creating all of you poems. They are all wonderful!!!
'ello
just checking in on you
Saw this on the review request page so I am checking it out....
this has good meaning. the emotions are great. If it flowed a wee bit smoother then this could be a song! the repeating stanza could very well be the chorus. If not then this is still a wonderful poem
Hello there saw you on the newbie page, so I am here to review and to WELCOME YOU TO WRITING.COM!!! I hope you enjoy yourself here
your friend is very fortunate to have such a kind and gifted person as thier friend. this song is wonderful and it really lets the audience feel you love and appreciation. the emotion is wonderful as is the song!!
Hello TianChye,
This poem has a good begining, the first two stanzas are wonderful. they flow really well and the word choice is flawless. But then we get to the third stanza... this is definately a trouble spot. Hmmm here is what I think:
People comes empty, accumulates plentymuch, yet leaves everything behind
People fights, kills<comma and hoards, yet triesy to giving themeverything away in the end
Time gets killed, wasted and even cursed as it passes, less in bind-?
Time is empty, relative and almost still when we can't bear the end
Just suggestions... hope they help! If not then that is OK with me
Saw this on the review request page so here I am reviewing it!!
This is a wonderful representation of eagles!! a true and honest observation of these most majestic creatures and a great read!! this is for a contest you say, well I think it has a good chance and good luck
This is very truthful, the feelings are real and the regret is almost tangible. Another wonderful poem. The lines are a bit wayward but the rhyme is better in this one...except "spoken" this doesn't rhyme with anything...
Great job overall though
Em
WRITE ON~!!! WRITE FOREVER~!!!
P.S. I would recommend setting up your bio-block...this will draw viewers into your portfolio!!
First off I would like to say WELCOME!!! and next I hope you enjoy yourself here at Writing.com
To your poem...this is a heartfelt cry that is really emotional. The rhyme though not perfect works for the poem and the flow is really good.
GREAT JOB IN GETTING YOU FEELINGS ONTO THE PAGE!!
About your poem...I thought it was really good!! it has great content and the depth and meaning are increadible. I just pointed out some technical errors that I spotted
Life movingmoves forward, it takes no casualties.
Memories; Ggifts to re-visit when life rolls by to fast.
Memories; Ccurses to re collectrecollect all one word, times better forgotten.
Draw from them what you need, when you need it;
Anger, Love, Lust, Hate, Peace...
All memories of feelings long gone,
Places and spaces that are still there,
People who are still there, hating, loving, cursing,praying.
Memories gives you the edge or takes it away.
Memories does leave casualties.
Memories does not roll on.
Memories stay so use them
Other than those It is great!! Good job
Em
WRITE ON~!!! WRITE FOREVER~!!!
P.S. I would recommend setting up your Bio-Block...it brings in a lot of potential viewers!!
Ahhh... red flag is up!! RATE THIS ITEM !!! rating is very important!!
Anyway,
This is a great story-yes I would put this in the "short story" genre, instead of "other" this will draw viewers and let them know what they are in for!
A great story and the last line really leaves a though:
"Just know that people will love you and if they don't you will know what do when that day comes."
Thank you for sharing you wonderful work with us here at WDC
Hey Super Newbie!!!
WELCOME TO WRITING.COM!!I hope your time here is happy and inspirational!! this is a great community and all of the people I have met so far have been really nice, I hope this is the way for you too.
One thing: you seem to have forgotten to change the item type from other this is avery important to do first off it tells the potential reader what they are in for, and second it will draw viewers!!
Your story is great!! really interesting and very good. you are a great story teller!! some technical issues:
Capitalize days of the week, and I's. And remember to put periods at the end of a sentence.
Other than that ...grrrrreat!
Em
WRITE ON~!!! WRITE FOREVER~!!!
P.S. I would reccommend setting up your Bio-Block this draws readers intoyour portfolio as well!!
Hey Super Newbie!!!
WELCOME TO WRITING.COM first off I would like to say that and second, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL COMMUNITY!! Writing.com is great though I have only been here a few weeks I feel right at home!!
Anyway to your poem:
I really enjoyed reading it! the despair and hopelessness feel really real. the emotions are raw and real and I think that that is great! I saw no noticable grammatical errors so that is good. And overall I thought this was a wonderful poem!!
Em
WRITE ON ~!!!! WRITE FOREVER~!!!
P.S. WE ARE ALL here for you anything you need just ask...everyone is really nice!
P.S.S. I would reccommend setting up your bio-block this will draw viewers into your portfolio.
Have a GREAT day
Okay this is the last of your mini poetry port raid. I hope you took into account my suggestions and appreciated my comments...if not then that is okay with me
This poem though short has to be one of my favorites out of your poetry. the strength of feeling portrayed and the relative content makes for a really moving poem. This is happening everyday and I think you have brought this difficult subject off with great success.
PERFECT
You are ver correct!! this is a very powerful piece. the feeling seems to eminate from the *page* and your opinions simply fly on. this was well brought off and overall a great poem.Thanks for sharing your wonderful work with us here at WDC
Em
WRITE ON~!!! WRITE FOREVER~!!!
P.S. I forgot to mention on your song you forgot to rate it...this is very important to do...I draws viewers!!
Hey, this is a great poem!! I really liked the attitude and the feeling put into it. Feline the Cat is both amuseing and exciting. The pattern is good and the vocabulary is great, these things really add to the piece. Great Job once again.
WOW there is a lot of emotion in this!! though it is really short it packs a punch!! Very Emo and i'm guessing very you. A lot of technical mistakes though.
i<I capitalized> watch the snow flakes<snowflakes all one word> fall to the ground and see the spots of red and relize<realize> its<it's> my bloddied< bloodied> wrists and the stiand< stained red<could be a bit more original blade in my hand
This is great!!! really intense and exciting to read!! the plot is wonderful and it carries the reader through the story wonderfully
thanks for sharing you talent with us here at WDC!!
Aww this a short but sweet poem it has no real pattern but the emotions are really strong. A hearty welcome to Writing.com I hope you enjoy yourself here!!!
Em
WRITE ON ~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WRITE FOREVER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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the descriptive words and imaginative phrases really add to this quite a bit. Overall a really wonderful piece of poetry!!
