You painted different lives in your poem, and though short, I still think you did it effectively. You portrayed the harsh realities in this life through the eyes of a cop. Very well written. This is a good read.
It is true that as we grow older we change our minds about certain things---ranging from small to big things. The last verse of the poem is what I apppreciated the most. I believe that all of us must be comfortable in who we are and not always try and be something else because we think that they are just so much better off. Good work!
I enjoyed reading this. I was seriously curious about what would happen to the clerk. I thought that she was going to die for sure (i would've ended it with her dying), but you gave me a surprise and kept her alive instead. This is a good read. It arouses interest in the readers to know what would happen.
Well written. I used to write poems like this, but nowadays I write more of the free verse kind.
The story you told in the poem wasn't rushed unlike some of the works I read. I noticed some things though.
~in the third line of the third verse, I think 'from' should be added {he flew (from) town to town}
~first line, fourth verse {killed many (of) his kind}
~third to the last stanza, third line {outnumbered, not out numbered}
~second line, second to the last stanza {sealed, not seeled}
These are just my opinions and I may be wrong in some of them, but I hope I helped you in some way. :) This poem is a good read.
I don't know why, but pieces of writings involving cemeteries and headstones intrigue me. You did good in writing this poem. I saw in my mind the place which you described. Effective use of words. I didn't see any typos.
Your poem has a very nice message. I agree that there are important things in this life people overlook, just like the miracle of nature. I liked your descriptions of the sea creatures you included in this poem. I couldn't have said it better. This piece rocks. :)
Very well written! Your choice of words were good and you used them brilliantly. The poem was descriptive and it painted a picture/scene in my mind.
I haven't been away from the city and all its rushed activities for quite some time now, and I miss the quiet environment of a small town. Your poem soothed me. It made me want to pack up and get away! :)
Good work! The poem is sweet. Though I think the line 'and all the good times you have put me through' is inappropriate, since the phrase 'put me through' is kind of negative. That's just my opinion. Also in the fourth line I think there's a typo (the instead of there).
I really like this poem, probably the best one you've written in what I've read so far. I know it has this format and all, but I think it would be better if you just lose 'the road' in the last line. That's just my opinion. or change it to 'move on in the road of my life'. But that would also ruin the format. Anyway, I already like the poem as it is. Good work.
I like the message, though I disagree with the last line. there are those who reject Christ, thus they don't live under the bliss and protection of the Lord. But all in all, it's a good work you did with this poem.
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