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1,747 Public Reviews Given
1,900 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I would characterise my reviews as honest and polite. I try to approach each item as a writer and a reader. I keep writingML to a minimum as it is distracting to me. I am starting to experiment with templates, having never really used one before now -- please bear with me while I try to find one that suits my review style! I always try to be constructive, positive and encouraging in my reviews.
I'm good at...
Reviewing poetry, focusing on emotion, flow and imagery. I have a particular passion for short poetry.
Favorite Genres
Dark, Emotional, Experience, Nature, Personal, Psychology
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica (unless it's tasteful and non-clichéd!), Fanfiction, Religious, Sci-fi, Supernatural, Young Adult
Favorite Item Types
I prefer, and am most confident, reviewing poetry. But I do sometimes review short stories, essays and articles etc.
I will not review...
Erotica (unless it's tasteful and non-clichéd!), Fanfiction, Young Adult fiction, novels or novel chapters (unless I know you very well!), horror items rated above 18+ (though I am happy to review other genres with higher ratings), anything featuring vampires, anything written in "text speak" or any non-static or non-book items (except in special circumstances).
Public Reviews
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Review of Emily's Room  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon ,

I found this to be a nicely told children's story about a little girl with a very active imagination. I think you did a good job with defining the characters -- they seemed real and their dialogue was natural. The plot is interesting and quite simplistic -- I think most young kids would enjoy reading this!

I just have a few suggestions that you can, of course, use or ignore as you wish. The line beginning 'As she placed the last of the towels...' reads very awkwardly in my opinion. I think this is partly because of the repeat of the word 'as' but also I feel the 'as she heard' part doesn't work so well. I also thought this part didn't read so well:

'It wasn't the first time she had that thought.'

I personally think it sounds better to say 'she'd had'.

Towards the end, you sometimes refer to the dragon as 'it' and sometimes as 'he'. I think it would be better to be consistent.

There were a few other little things, for instance 'what ever' should be 'whatever', so I think the story could benefit from a careful edit. But overall I really enjoyed this charming tale and thought it was a lot of fun. I especially like how the dragon echoes her mum's words!

Thanks for a great read.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Daizy May ,

I enjoyed this short piece about your love of music and I can really relate to it too, especially the part where you describe how you can physically feel the music. I think music is very important to a lot of people and I have several favourite songs that I associate with defining moments of my life.

The only thing I can think to suggest really is to include more details. It might be nice to describe what kind of music you were listening to when you wrote this. Although you wrote Enya in brackets and suggested further on that this is Celtic music, it might be nice to write a little more about this for those of us who haven't really listened to Enya before. Of course that is just a suggestion.

I just have one other picky thing to point out -- I personally don't think the extra exclamation marks after the final word are necessary.

But overall I think this is a wonderful piece of writing. Thanks for a great read. I hope you have found this review helpful.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Harry ,

I think this is a really lovely poem. It is light-hearted and refreshing and it put a smile on my face. I think you have done an excellent job of setting the scene and conveying a bright, hopeful atmosphere. The imagery is nice, and I particularly enjoyed the part about the pollen-coated cars. I felt this was quite a unique description. I also really like the last two lines and think this is a wonderful conclusion to the poem.

I like the scattered rhyme you used throughout this piece, and think it helps to give the poem a distinct sound. I found the flow was a little uneven in places. I think this is because some of the lines feel a little wordy and I wonder if they can be sharpened a bit. For example, in the very first line, the words 'All of the' are rather unnecessary and could be removed without the poem losing anything. Then in the ninth line, the words 'all help' could be lost without having a negative impact on the poem. Of course this is just my opinion though.

Overall I think this is a nice piece of writing and I truly enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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Review of Bereavement  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Prof Moriarty ,

Thank you for entering the "Invalid Item"  contest.

I found this to be a very emotional poem. Of course grief and loss are very common themes in poetry but you have found a creative way to explore them and have told an interesting story.

I personally think the main thing that needs work in this poem is clarifying when the father is speaking and when the narrator is telling his tale. At the moment it is very confusing. The artist consoles his wife Jane but it isn't 100% clear when he is speaking to her and when he isn't. For example, in the third line of the fourth stanza, the artist seems to refer to himself in the third person, which seems a little strange, but then I wasn't sure if this was the narrator's "voice". Does that make sense? Also, why would he need to explain to his wife what their son went through? Surely she already knows? I just found this all a bit confusing.

I found some other parts confusing too. For instance, in the first stanza, I wasn't sure what you meant by his name appearing 'in the bold'. Also in this stanza, I think 'gravel' should be 'gavel'.

The rhythm wasn't quite there for me, particularly towards the end. I think maybe cutting down some of the longer, drawn out lines could really help to improve the flow. But of course this is just my opinion.

Overall I think this is a nice poem which really has potential. Thank you for sharing your work. I hope you have found this review helpful.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Pepper ,

I am one of the judges of the "Invalid Item"  contest. Thank you for entering round 3.

I really enjoyed this poem. It is a lot of fun and I think you could probably list 'comedy' as one of the of the item genres. It certainly amused me!

You have done an excellent job with the Rispetto form. Each line has the correct syllable count and your rhyme scheme is strong. The iambic metre is very good and although some parts are a little questionable I don't think there is really anything worth mentioning except for the second line of stanza two. I think this line reads quite awkwardly and is the only part of the poem where the flow is truly disrupted. I'm afraid I can't think of anything specific to suggest to fix it at the moment though.

Overall I think this is a great piece and it made me smile. I particularly like the last line of stanza one and think the word 'crash' is a clever word choice here. I also love the final line -- it has an impact and is a fun way to end a fun poem. Thank you for sharing this.

~Jess.

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Review of Blessings  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Prof Moriarty ,

I am one of the judges of the "Invalid Item"  contest. Thank you for entering round 3.

I think this is a sweet poem that nicely conveys your joy about the arrival of your child. It is a lovely tribute to your daughter!

Unfortunately you didn't quite meet the form prompt requirements. Remember, the Rispetto should have eight syllables in each line and should also be written in iambic metre. Only the second line of stanza two has the correct syllabic and accentual metre, so if you wanted to work on this poem some more, you could use that line to help you. The rhyme scheme is mostly fine but I wasn't sure about the benevolent/pleasant rhyme. It just doesn't sound quite right in my opinion.

Overall I think this is a brave attempt at the form and I can see you put a lot of effort into it. I think if you want to work on making this a true Rispetto you need to concentrate on cutting down some of your lines to get the correct syllable count. The iambic metre can be worked on after that! Good luck if you do decide to make some changes and thank you for sharing this poem. I hope you have found my review helpful.

~Jess.

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Review of Genres  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Happy May 2024! ,

I think this poem is great. You have executed the form perfectly (as far as I can tell!) and I like your use of colour to highlight the contrasting halves of the poem. I think you chose a good subject and made some strong word choices. You seem to have thought carefully about where to place each word so they have maximum impact. I liked how you placed 'amusing' and 'pleasing' either side of a word that doesn't end with 'sing'. I think that line has a nice ring to it! I also liked the subtle alliteration and the poem sounds great when read out loud.

Thanks for a great read.

~Jess.

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Review of The Coming Storm  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Pepper ,

I am one of the judges of the "Invalid Item"  contest. Thank you for entering round 2.

I really like this poem and I love your creative interpretation of the prompt. You saw something in the image that I hadn't previously noticed: the dramatic clouds! The imagery in your poem is very nice and I enjoyed your use of colour. It is clear that you have paid close attention to language choices and I think you have done a good job of describing the warmth of "good" and the coldness of "evil" without being clichéd or too obvious in the process. I like your use of contrast and particularly enjoyed the 'slow burn' description of the 'cold and envious' snake's anger. I think you have used assonance to great effect, especially in the first stanza and I like the alliteration in the second stanza. The poem is wonderful to read out loud!

There is just one tiny thing I noticed and that is the word 'as' doesn't work in the second from last line in my opinion. I can't quite work out why, but this part doesn't flow on so well from the previous lines and also feels a bit unfinished. I think maybe the use of the word 'as' makes it seem that you are going to say something else and I'm not sure it reads correctly. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful than that.

That is a very minor thing though and overall I think this is a beautiful piece of writing. Thank you for a great read.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloon*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloon*


Hello Luna ,

I really enjoyed this poem and I'm sure most people would be able to relate to it. It seems that liking someone who doesn't even know you exist is a part of growing up. This took me back to my school days where me and my friends all had crushes on guys who didn't ever seem to notice us! This is a fun poem about girl who decides enough is enough. She's tired of playing games and wants to take drastic action to get the guy's attention. I think you have done a good job of conveying the emotions while keeping the poem light-hearted and quirky.

The poem mostly flows wonderfully but I felt the rhythm slipped in the sixth and seventh lines. I felt these lines were too long. I'm sorry I don't have any particular suggestions but I think these lines could be shortened to keep the fast, snappy beat that is present in the rest of the poem. Of course this is just my opinion.

I feel the last line doesn't quite have the impact it should because the narrator has given the boy plenty of opportunities to notice her. If her last drastic action doesn't work, why should he get one more chance? I think maybe you could change this to something like 'Either notice me this instance/'Cause you won't get another chance'. Or maybe you can come up with something better if you agree this line needs some work.

Overall I think this is a good poem that perhaps just needs a little polishing. I really liked the humour of it. Thanks for a great read.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH...I am Home! ,

I really enjoyed this fun-filled poem. It's a little bit silly, but in a good way, and I enjoyed the humour of it. I particularly liked your creative invented word! The rhythm of this piece is good and the rhyme scheme is strong, and quirky in places. The only part I didn't get was the 'but good' part in the final stanza. I wasn't entirely sure what could be good about the situation! But that is a very minor thing. Overall I think this is a well-written, witty piece of writing. Thanks for the laugh.

~Jess.

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Review of The Pirate's Love  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Sena Slaughter ,

This is a heart-wrenching tale of lost love and grief. Those are common themes in poetry, of course, but you have found a fresh way to explore them and created a captivating piece of writing.

I felt that the structure you chose for this poem created some problems as you often had to stretch to fit the rhyme scheme by twisting sentences unnaturally. Sometimes I felt this was okay and even helped to give the poem a quaint feel, which seemed to work alongside the subject of pirates. But at other times, it really sticks out. As an example, I don't think the second line of the third stanza reads smoothly, and there were several other places like this. Maybe you could read the poem aloud, if you haven't already? I often find that helps me to find awkward parts. Also, I felt you could drop the word 'it' after the word 'heart' in both the first and final stanza as it sounds a little odd in my opinion.

But overall I think this is a nice poem and the ending really has an impact. I just feel it needs a little polishing. I hope you have found this review helpful. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello kiyasama,

This is a wonderful tribute written to you by a friend as a birthday gift. You must have been overwhelmed to have received something so special and personal. I know I would have been! It is beautifully written, with emotion shining in every single line. I don't know you very well but the poem gives great insight into the sort of person you are and suggests you are definitely someone worth knowing!

Thank you for sharing this heart-warming piece.

~Jess.

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Review of Men in Black  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Hyperiongate ,

I really enjoyed this quirky, little story. It is amazing to me that somebody can write an interesting, witty, full story in so few words, but that is what you have done. All the characters are well-defined through their actions -- we learn that Jeb is kind of cranky and won't hesitate to defend what is his. The men in black are so enthusiastic in their work that they won't let getting shot at deter them. We even get a sense of what Thelma is like in just a few sentences!

I think the story is nicely paced and the dialogue reads naturally, helping to move the story along.

The only part of this lively story I felt was a little lacklustre was the part where Jeb accidentally fires off a round. Although I love the actions that lead up to this, the actual event itself doesn't have quite as much impact in my opinion. I felt there was scope here to make this part more dramatic.

But overall I think this story is fantastic and I love the ending. Thanks for a great read.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ArizonaHeat ,

I am one of the judges of the "Invalid Item"  contest. Thank you for entering round 1.

I found this to be a very ambitious and dramatic poem that beautifully depicts the life of a tree through the seasons and the lessons we can learn from it. There are many striking descriptions that created some wonderful images in my mind. I particularly liked the 'emerald flakes' description and the part about the roots creating pockets.

I have a few suggestions and points that you can, of course, use or ignore as you wish. Firstly, although I really enjoyed a lot of the language and descriptions, I felt the poem was too heavy on the details in places and it becomes a little repetitive. As an example, in stanza four we are told how the tree is transformed 'into a burst of energy, color, and sound' with the leaves sparkling. In stanza five you describe the lush 'spring outfit'. In stanza six we are told the tree 'flourishes'. To me, these descriptions are all basically saying the same thing and creating the same images over and over. I'd suggest looking for places where descriptions are repeated and seeing if you can cut some of them out to tighten up the writing.

The masked/unmasked theme really didn't work for me. I felt it was a bit odd to describe the tree in winter as masked seeing as the tree is stripped of its leaves. I just don't think this part works as well as other parts of the poem.

I noticed several errors in this poem, for example, in the part beginning 'the tree sheds it mask...', 'it' should be 'its'. I don't think a comma is needed after the word 'yellow-tail'. I noticed several grammatical errors so I think this piece could be greatly enhanced by a careful edit.

Overall I think this is a strong, beautifully written poem, filled with emotion and thought-provoking themes. I really enjoyed reading it. I hope you have found this review helpful but please let me know if you need me to clarify anything I have said. Thanks for a great read.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Pepper ,

I am one of the judges of the "Invalid Item"  contest. Thank you for entering round 1.

This is a fun poem and I like what you are trying to do here. It is refreshing to read something so light-hearted and a little different. I like the quirkiness of it.

The main problem for me, really, is that not being a fan of Charlie Brown, a lot of the humour of this poem was totally lost on me. I don't know if that 'wa' sound is what Charlie Brown's mother usually says or something but I felt there was just a little too much of it, especially towards the end, so it started to become a little grating. This is just my opinion of course, and perhaps fans of the comic strip would find this more to their taste.

I felt the flow was a little choppy in places. I really liked the part in the middle where you have the words 'rhythm' and 'symbolism' quite close together. The assonance of these two words really helps with the flow and I would have liked more of this in other parts of the poem. I just felt maybe a little more assonance or rhyme etc could help to make this piece a bit more poetical. As an example, you could substitute the word 'good' with 'fine' so it sounds stronger after the 'what about rhyme?' part. Does that make sense? I felt there were other places, too, where you could do something similar. This is just a suggestion, of course, that you can use or ignore as you wish.

Overall I think you have a good poem here that has lots of potential. I hope you have found this review helpful but please let me know if you need me to clarify anything I have said. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloon*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloon*


Hello JudyB ,

I'm glad I read this article. I tend to think a lot about death at this time of year as the anniversaries of my brother and grandparent's deaths are in February and March. I think this is a well-written article that encourages people to look at death in a different way. The story you tell to help explain your views is nicely told, if a little sad. I liked the emotion of this part -- I don't usually expect to feel moved by an essay! It reminded me of the last time I saw My Granddad -- I was able to say goodbye and tell him I love him, as were all the family. He died later that day, surrounded by family and love.

There was just one very small thing that stood out to me in this essay. In the sentence beginning 'One elderly gentlemen...', the word 'now' sounds a little odd and is kind of jarring because the sentence is in the past tense.

That's a very minor thing though and overall I think this is a great article. There is a good mix of emotion, introspection and advice. Thanks for a great read.

~Jess.

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Review of Whispering Wishes  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Daizy May ,

This is a very emotionally stirring poem about hopes and dreams. It could easily have become quite cloying but you toned it down and provided a creative and interesting way of looking at the subject. I think you made good use of alliteration and assonance in this poem to give it a strong sound. I particularly like the opening stanza.

The third stanza, to me, feels a little forced and I wonder if there is a way to make it read more naturally. I just feel that phrases like 'I've not been' and 'never have run' etc read quite awkwardly. It sounds more natural to say 'I've never been' and 'I've never run'. Of course this is just my opinion.

Also, staying with the same stanza, I think you are missing a comma after the word 'met'.

In the fourth stanza, I think the repetition of the word 'whisper' becomes a little grating. But again, this is just based on my own opinion and personal taste. I often have little patience for repetition such as this in poetry, but of course that doesn't make it wrong!

Overall I think this is a lovely piece of writing and I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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Review of The Invisible Man  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello fyn ,

I enjoyed this story though, to be honest, it took me a while to get into it. I just felt it was a little too heavy on description in places and some of the longer sentences have a rather "clunky" feel to them, in my opinion, which occasionally lost my attention. This is probably just me though -- it just isn't the sort of writing style that captivates me.

Having said that, I think the story really picks up towards the end and I found myself becoming more and more absorbed in it. I like the main character and I was genuinely moved by the ending. I did not see the twist coming, so that was a nice surprise.

Thanks for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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Review of Angel  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello WhirlwindX ,

I found this to be a lovely little romantic poem. I think anyone would feel honoured to have such a poem written about them! I think you have done a good job of conveying the emotions of the person who is watching this beautiful girl and seemingly plucking up the courage to approach her. There isn't much in terms of imagery in this piece. I just feel some concrete images could enhance it, helping to engage readers. Instead, the poem has a kind of vague feeling that I found hard to connect to. Of course this is just my experience and other readers may not agree with me.

There are a few things that could use some attention in this poem. I wasn't sure why the word 'should' is capitalised when you don't use capitalisations anywhere else in the poem. Also, I wasn't sure the question mark was necessary after 'name'. I think in the line beginning 'be her protector...' you are missing a word, maybe the word 'for' after 'protector'?

Overall I think this is a nice poem and I particularly like the ending. Thank you for sharing this.

~Jess.

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Review of Winter Moments  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello keystomykarma ,

I really enjoyed this poem. It has a lovely, soft rhythm to it and some of the phrasing is beautiful. I think you have done a really good job of setting the scene and creating a warm, cosy atmosphere.

The poem is really fine as it is and I would understand if you didn't want to change a thing but the following points are just things you may want to consider if you did choose to work on this some more. I'm probably just being picky! Firstly, the opening two lines are quite weak in comparison with the rest of the poem in my opinion. Snow always gets described as a blanket so this is a little jaded. Most of what follows this part is so unique and fresh I just felt the opening could be stronger and needs to have more of an impact.

Secondly, the phrase 'peaceful quiet' sticks out to me and I can't quite work out why!

Thirdly, the last few lines of the second part read awkwardly to me. The phrase 'with its inspirations' didn't sound natural to me and I found it hard to get my thoughts around what you meant here.

These are fairly minor things though and overall I think this is a wonderful piece of writing. I really enjoyed the subtlety of it and I love your closing lines. Thank you very much for a great read.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello OneFrighteningLittleMonster123 ,

This is an interesting premise for a story, but I'm really not sure how plausible it is. It seems to me that the doctors would decide which of the men needed the transplant most and not leave this decision with the men's wives. Then again, I'm certainly not an expert and I may be wrong!

That aside, I think you have a good story start here. Your characters are interesting and realistic, particularly Stella. I like the way you show what their relationship with each other is like through their actions. I particularly liked the part where Jesse accidentally scares Stella and she playfully hits him. I thought that was a nice moment. I think their dialogue is natural and helps to move the story along. The writing is nicely paced and my attention was held until the end of the chapter.

I noticed several errors in this piece so I think it could be greatly enhanced by a careful edit. These are the ones I caught:

In the sentence beginning 'The rain had been...' 'to' should be 'too'.
'
In this part '...things were well worth her wile' I believe 'wile should be 'while'.

In both these parts 'In the new houses tiny kitchen' and '...the houses best feature' the word 'houses' needs an apostrophe.

In this bit '“I’ve go to go now' should the first go be 'got'?

I think 'quite' should be 'quiet' in this part: 'speeding up the quite little street towards her quite little job.'

And finally, 'un eventful' should be written as 'uneventful'.

One other thing, the part about the teacher Jodi seems to stick out. Unless this information about her plays an important role later on in the story, I'd suggest cutting it out as it doesn't add anything to the story or help to move it along in any way.

Overall I think this is an interesting idea and I think you have a strong opening chapter. I wish you the best of luck with your story. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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Review of Shattered Tears  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Amy James ,

I found this to be a sad story about heartbreak, loss and grief. It may be a short piece but it certainly has a lot of emotional impact. The ending took me by surprise and I enjoyed it. I love that you end this story so positively. I think you have done a good job with the main character. Abby is well-defined and her pain is realistic and easy to connect to.

The story is heavy on description. That isn't necessarily a bad thing but you repeat a lot of the same descriptions, which makes the writing a little jaded in my opinion. I think you describe her tears too often and it sticks out in such a short piece. I think maybe you could vary the vocabulary a bit and that this could enhance the writing a bit.

But overall I think this is a nice story and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Felicity Faith ,

This is a fun little account of a day in the life of the author. I like the subtle humour in this piece and how you can make something as mundane as following a cake recipe comical.

The piece doesn't flow very easily and I think this is because a lot of the sentences are very long-winded. I'd suggest breaking them up a bit more so the reader doesn't become overloaded with information. As an example, you can easily split the first sentence into three sharper sentences by putting a full stop after the word 'subject' instead of a comma and a full stop after the word 'weetabix' instead of the semicolon. I think this makes the writing much tighter.

I noticed several errors in this piece too (for example 'feed' should be 'fed' and 'pant' should be 'paint') so I think it could be greatly enhanced by a careful edit.

Overall I think this is a comical piece and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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Review of Least Favorite  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Jinx Charmer ,

I think this is a very sad poem about a person who feels they are an outcast in their own family. Their yearning to be accepted as their real self is nicely expressed and makes this a poignant piece of writing. The poem is short and simplistic but it is still effective and packs an emotional punch.

I just noticed a few things in this poem that I feel could use some attention. Firstly, the opening line doesn't read smoothly in my opinion and I had a hard time making sense of this part. As this is the line that should hook and draw the reader in, I really think it needs to be stronger and more comprehensible.

In the third line, should parent be parents? If so, then parents in the final line should be parents'. If, however, it is just one parent, then I think it should be written as parent's in the final line.

In the sixth line, should the word 'but' be 'by'? I think this would flow more easily and make more sense.

I wonder if using a lowercase 'i' in the last two lines is supposed to symbolise the feelings of inferiority. I think that could be quite effective but it might be a good idea to remain consistent with it.

Overall I think this is a good poem. I really liked the emotion of it. Thank you for sharing it.

~Jess.

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Review of Me and My shadow  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello .x.Lonely girl.x. ,

I think this is a very sad, nicely written poem about loneliness. It is filled with emotion, making it easy for readers to connect to the "message". I think you have some nice imagery and have used some interesting metaphors, which make this poem a captivating read.

The first stanza is my favourite. It is beautiful, fresh and flows wonderfully. Every word is pulling its weight and I love the simplicity. I think the flow is lost a little in the later stanzas as the lines become wordier. As an example, the second line of the second stanza seems to have one beat too many and I wonder if the word 'bravo' should be 'brave'. This works better in my opinion because not only does it improve the flow of this line, it also makes more sense. As another example, the third line of the final stanza doesn't read very smoothly. I personally think you can lose the word 'slowly' here. It is kind of weak and really doesn't add anything to the poem.

The punctuation usage in this poem confused me and I found it distracting. I like what you did in the first stanza, removing all punctuation except for the full stop after the last word. I wonder why you didn't continue with this pattern. I realise punctuation usage in poetry is a personal choice, but I always think it is a good idea to remain consistent.

I just noticed one typo/error: I think 'knowone' should be 'no one'.

Overall I think this is a lovely piece of writing. It is sad and subtle. Thank you for a great read.

~Jess.

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