This is a beautiful poem. In the line, there we kisses and fireworks went, did you mean to write kissed? I enjoyed the imagery this invoked. It reminded me of some of the happier times of my childhood. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work. Take care and God bless.
I will not bore you with a long review. What I will say is this. You my dear sir are a inspiration to us all. Especially for sharing your life, and Tory's with us. May the Son forever guide your steps. With my heartfelt thanks, take care and above all God bless you.
I will not say sorry for your loss. I will say thank you for your love. Not just your love for this beautiful soul who is undoubtedly smiling down on you from heaven above, but for the love you have shared with everyone who has had the pleasure of reading this. It is the portrait of a man who will in my eyes forever be a hero.
It doesn't take a cape and a logo to be a superhero. You have shown that what it takes is love. Love is not just words easily spoken, but it is being there for someone at thier best and worst of times. I do believe you have shown the world this kind of love. Thank you and God bless.
Wow! That is a beautiful yet sad tale. I greatly enjoyed reading it. I am somewhat of a guitar player myself, and I can only imagine the pain the grandfather must have been going through to put such a beautiful instrument down. Thank you so much for sharing this. Take care and God bless.
This poem reminded me of the way we treat each other in society. A person can be reasoned with, but trying to reason with people as a whole is a lost cause. Back to what I was saying. It seems like when we make a mistake society tends to blow it out of proportion. For example, let a teenage girl get pregnant out of wedlock, and people call her rather obscene names. I am not agreeing with this behaviour by any means. I'm just saying people make mistakes. This poem reminds me of one of those very people who made a mistake, and they were made to feel less than human. That would leave a scar on someone's soul that nothing could erase. This is just my opinion. It may not be what you meant. I enjoyed it very much. Keep up the good work. Take care and God bless.
Short sweet and to the point. This bit of poetry you posted is truly amazing. It made me smile. I know that doesn't seem to be a great accomplishment, but for me it is. you may want to end with a question mark instead of a period. I don't know if that was intentional or not. I do have one request. It may sound odd, but may I write it on my wall? That way when I wake in the morning I can read it, and start my day with a smile. Please keep up the good work. Take care and God bless.
The beginning holds promise. Yes it seems a bit dark and depressing, but I think that is what you are shooting for. I do wonder if you are going to remain on this theme, or are you going to turn things around. I think it will be good any direction you choose. Keep up the good work. Take care and God bless.
I do believe you have hit on something here. It is fundamental in its simplicity. Many people spend to much time worrying about the future, or dwelling on the past. Most don't understand that all that matters is the here and now. I say to embrace the past, and learn from it. Accept the future and hope for it. Only the past is written in stone. The future still flows free as a river, so enjoy the scenery, have fun, and enjoy life. If you can accomplish this then nothing can stand in your way.
Great job. Keep up the good work. Take care and God bless.
This is a very heart warming story of what goes through a child's mind. Thank you for writing it. I personally remember the days of wanting to be a superhero, and in retrospect life did seem a bit simpler then. I think that this story also highlights the lengths a mother will go through to make her children happy. I can only begin to imagine the hours the mother must have spent working on the costume through the night. For most who read this they will see who the true hero is. All I have to say is thanks to all the moms out there for the untold hours they spend raising there little superheroes.
Keep up the good work. Take care and God bless.
This is a very beautiful story. I do have one question. What happens next? I mean it is obvious that the two love each other, and that the man is just realizing his love for her. Where do they go from here? I would really like to know. If you ever do decide to write more about these two, please let me know. Take care and God bless
I enjoyed this piece. It dealt with many of the things that we face today. I especially like that part where the children are playing with no mind to the color of each others face. This is an inspiring piece. One question, in the second to the last line you have, wit her absolute presence. Did you mean to write, with? Thank you for writing this, it has brightened my day. Take care and God bless.
That was a nice twist at the end. Who would ever expect a little old lady of murder. She told a very plausible tale. I must admit that I very much enjoyed this piece. The only thing I see that may need a little attention is where the boy asked Norma If she needed any help. You have the word need there and I believe it needs to be, needed. Keep up the good work. Take care and God bless.
This is truly a beautiful, yet haunting poem. I enjoyed reading it for the feelings it envoked in me. I felt above all sadness at the loss of love, and yet I also felt a sense of courage. Courage of being able to let someone go you truly love. Please keep writing, if for no one else do it for yourself. Take care and God bless.
This is an amazing story. I must say that you have a rare talent for adding humor to an otherwise chaotic situation. Did you mean to write the word through in the sentence that begins with, "The other two"? Thank you for posting this. It has truly brightened my day. Take care and God bless
I know where you're coming from with this work of yours. It signifies the search we all go through in life. The search for that special someone. I would like to know more, such as what drove the main charater to go to the beach? Was it because of a fight with their other half? Is the main charater having doubts about their relationship? There one thing I would like to point out. A space needs to be put in between each other. Overall I did enjoy it, and if you happen to work on this anymore please let me know. It has the beginnings of an amazingly beautiful story. Keep up the good work. Take care and God bless.
This poem reminds me of a person trying to entice someone to maybe come and take a tour of a haunted house, freak show, etc.. It really is good. I very much enjoyed the images it conjured in my mind. Please keep up the good work. Take care and God bless.
I agree with your classification of your work being dark. It is scary to realize that the kind of abuse you mention in your story happens all the time the world over. Personally I would have liked to hear more of Marissa's story. Such as was this an act of revenge, or desperation. Did Geoff ever hurt any of the children, and that is what drove her to action. Overall I did enjoy the story, but in my opinion it needs a little more fleshing out. Above all remember that this is just my opinion. Under no circumstances let it discourage you. Please keep writing, and if you do anything to further this story let me know. Take care and God bless
If you set out to invoke feelings of anger then job well done. I get a strong feeling that this is not a finished work. Please, if it is not yet finished then don't quit or give up. I am intrigued to find out whether or not you choose to make this a story of revenge or redemption. I would have given you a higher rating, but it left me hanging. There are two mistakes I noticed. The first being when Mr. Mann wakes up in the hospital you have written, "He believes his mouths moves." Was this a mistake? The second being is the precint number, or lack of one. Do not get discouraged, and keep on writing. Thank you for posting this, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
this article is inciteful and helpful. i have problems with patting people on the back, and the article encourages me to offer the truth instead of just saying what i think others want to hear. i think the article is a bit blunt, and i also think that is what the author is trying to accomplish. thanks for the info, and keep up the good work
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