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552 Public Reviews Given
552 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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176
176
Review of Sweet Anna  
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello JA

I found your poem through the Read & Review.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

Rhythm & Flow:

The rhythm and flow of this poem is wonderful. It flows together perfectly.


Imagery & Emotions:

Great imagery here. I can see a little angel asking for the change to make a wonderful and happy life with her new family. Great job.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and have no suggestion.


Conclusion:

I fell in love with this poem, it is a precious poem.

Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


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177
177
Review of Broken Bottles  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello slowmotionsunset

I found you through a review you gave me.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

Rhythm & Flow:

Each line flows nicely into the next, it is easy to follow.


Imagery & Emotions:

I see a older man wishing his life had been different and tries to get his son to understand and not make the same mistakes he made.
The poem brings out love and sadness.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and how no suggestions. There is only one comma so I can not comment about punctuation.


Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading your poem.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


The WDC Army Angels


** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


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178
178
Review of Problem  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello Chris Breva

I found your poem entered into the Stormy's Poetry Newsletter


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest


Rhythm & Flow:

There is a good rhythm to your poem. Each line flows effortlessly into the next line.


Imagery & Emotions:

I felt confusion and sadness for the person walking the path. I felt freedom and joy when his spirit was freed.

The words you use, describe a world of unhappiness. I see a person walking through life wishing for an end.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no grammar errors. It's hard to say about punctuation for there is none. That is the writers choice. I have found that some punctuation does help give a break in the poem making it easier to read and understand.


Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading your poem. Good luck in the contest.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


The WDC Army Angels


** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


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179
179
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello Web Witch


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

I found your story featured in the Horror/Scary Newsletter.


What I like:

I like the main character, a dark Pixie. This is what really caught me up in your story. Pixie of Darkness. I really like this line. It's awesome. I love fairies and the like.


Overall Impression:

I was intrigued with the description line to read your story. I'm not much for the title, it's not catchy to me. Just my opinion, you are the creator.
You did good about describing the setting. I could see a dark room, and someone following Tara-Rizer. Great job.
I liked the ending and didn't see the twist coming. The vampire, the enemy wins out in the end. Love it.
The story line flowed well. It is easy to read and to follow. I was captured and had to read till the end.

Suggestions:

I found no errors and have no suggestions.


Final Thoughts/Conclusion:

I really enjoyed reading your short story.
Thank you for sharing your story. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

The WDC Army Angels


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180
180
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello Raven Sharp

I found you featured in the Poetry Newsletter.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

Rhythm & Flow:

This poem has great a flow. Each line leads into the next. Great job.

Imagery & Emotions:

I see a ship heading for a far away land with one person on board waiting to return home. A home that has been missed for many years. I can feel the excitement.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and have no suggestions.


Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading your poem. I liked the last stanza the best. It has more emotion. And the words really hit home for me. I picked this piece to read because of the title and description line. Both pulled me into reading your poem.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


The WDC Army Angels


** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


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181
181
Review of Revelation  
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello Fhionnuisce

I found you through the Read & Review

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest


Rhythm & Flow:

The poem has a natural flow. It's rhythm moves at a good pace with a rhyming scheme.


Imagery & Emotions:

I see a gathering of people and a simple coffin. I see a man confused as to why he is there. I get a sense that the man in the coffin is the same man confused and the one wondering who is the dead man.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and have no suggestions.


Conclusion:

I like this poem, the way it is written. I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


The WDC Army Angels


** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


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182
182
Review of A Moment In Life  
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very inspirational. I never thought of washing dishes as a day at the spa.

The words flow together like a poem. The way you describe the experience I can feel the stress leaving and relaxation taking over.

Great job.
Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann
183
183
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A delightful story. I am curious as to what kind of creatures they are, I'm thinking fairy. I noticed the story is written with each line starting a new paragraph and most lines begin with the names of the characters. I've never seen a story written like this. It's interesting.

Thanks for sharing. And keep writing.

Gypsy Ann


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184
184
Review of Rebirth  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello CursedFreedom
I found you featured in the Fantasy Newsletter. Congrats.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

Rhythm & Flow:

Rebirth has a nice rhythm as if the words were meant to be used the way you have written the poem. One line flowing into the next. It is easy to follow.


Imagery & Emotions:

I can sense the fear this person feels while watching the white light, the White Death. And then Awe and wonder at the new life given.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and have no suggestions.

Conclusion:

This is my favorite stanza because it reminds me of my life at one time.

So bright, it shines
Under the closed door
So alive, this light
It draws the darkness
To its vibrant gaze.

I feel this poem is nicely written. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


The WDC Army Angels


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185
185
Review of Forevermore  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hello Angela444

I found your name on the WDC Angel Army Author Spotlight.
Congratulations on being selected.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest {/b}

Rhythm & Flow:

It has a great flow, making it easy to read. The structure is free style, I like to write free style because it gives more room to be creative.


Imagery & Emotions:

I can see a child standing at the gates of heaven, family waiting for him to pass through. I feel happiness for the child, for he feels he has made it home. However, I can feel sadness for the mother and her loss. Great job


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and have no suggestions.


Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading your poem. It is wonderful.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


The WDC Army Angels


** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


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186
186
Review of Everything To Me.  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello All Smiles

I found this poem while looking through your port.


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

Rhythm & Flow:

Everything To Me has a great rhythm. The lines flow together as they were made to do. All the lines end with a rhyme, Great job here. That is something I have difficulty doing.


Imagery & Emotions:

I can see big white puffy clouds carried on the breeze. As they move, they take shape of animals and things. I can feel the sadness and the anger of the loss of loved ones. I too know how that feels.

I also feel that know matter what comes your way you will stand strong until it is your time to rest.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I see no errors.


Conclusion:

This is a lovely poem, and I enjoyed reading it. I read a couple other poems in your port and I can say I like this one best.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


The WDC Army Angels


** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


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187
187
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello Weirdone-Back in the game


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

I found you featured in the Mystery Newsletter.


What I like:

I enjoyed the whole story, it was funny to me. The ending was great when Aristotle pieced together what had happened to Actaeon. I liked how you intertwined the different genres.

Overall Impression:

The title is great, it pulls the reader into the story. And the plot moves at a good pace keeping the reader hooked into the story. It is easy to read and follow.

There is not much description of the different setting in the story. But I could see an office somewhat clean, a forest full of trees. The play and bar could use some work. It's hard to encompass these descriptions in such a short story.


Suggestions:

but since the dogs had been found killing a stag that wasn´t really suprising. Just a suggestion here to change "killing a stag" to "eating a stag" since that was what the dogs were doing.

the goddess of the hunt. Capitalize Goddess and maybe Gods.


Final Thoughts/Conclusion:

A great story. I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing your story. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*




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188
188
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello Lizey


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest


What I like:

I loved the last few paragraphs where the wombats are getting ready to leave on their adventure.


Overall Impression:

This re-write is so much better.*ThumbsUp* I did notice that you are still not using the quotation marks to mark dialogue. I have gave an example below.

The beginning is better. If you could have Kenslee speak some when she is telling stories to Elliot and Victor, this could bring the story more alive. Remember to show not tell. It's a hard concept to grasps, I know, I have the same issue at times.

The plot is easier to understand, but still need some work. I could see more of the story unfold this time. Getting Better.

Suggestions:

"A holiday! Why would we need a holiday"?

"We live on a beach in Frankston on the Mornington Peninsula. We have everything we could ever want here"

Remember, always use quotation marks when someone speaks.


Final Thoughts/Conclusion:

You may want to delete the original story from your profile. I feel some more work is needed, but you are on the right track here. I would be happy to do another review for you if you decide to do some work to this story. I feel it is going to be a great story in the end.

We all have started out at some time. And our writing wasn't the best, but we had the desire to listen and work at it. I'm still learning myself.
Thank you for sharing your story. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


189
189
Review of The Seasons  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

I found your name on the NAG Showcase.
Congratulations on being selected to the NAG Showcase

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest


*StarY* What I liked:

I liked the poem as a whole. I think if you left any one part out it would not feel the same. So I can not say I liked one stanza better. I like how each season brought something new and a new emotion.


*StarY* Overall Impression:

The title works great for this poem. It gives a hint of the poem, but doesn't reveal to much.

The imagery I get from this piece is a friendship that begins and grows. Then suddenly everything is lost and a wondering if they will find each other again. I can feel the emotions as this friendship transcends through the seasons.

The structure of the poem is good. It has all the elements consisting with Senryu poetry. Each line flows into the next.

*StarY* Final Thoughts

If I had to give a suggestion for this piece, it would be there is no punctuation.
Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
190
190
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Graham B.

I found your story listed in the horror genre.


Please remember these are my opinions and nothing more.


Story line:

A good story line, it is easy to follow. I feel the plot moves the story at a slow place.

What I like:

I liked the line "a twittering rainbow of furtiveness" it is very colorful and creative. I also liked the ending, I didn't see the twist coming.


Suggestions:

"I know, and I'm sorry." Maybe leave out "and". I know I wouldn't say "and" if I were speaking. Just a thought.

Jake threw out his cool-aid without finishing it. Kool-Aid

A love note from guy who wasn't him This just don't sound right to me.


Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
191
191
Review of Despair  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Welcome to WDC.

Please remember these are my opinions and nothing more.


*DropG* Storyline:

There is not much or a story line here. The first two paragraphs don't add to the story. The last two paragraphs tell the beginnings of a story. You want to show not tell the story. There should be more dialog.


*DropG* Characters/Setting:

There is only a brief setting, a tavern. What does the tavern look like or the town it is in?

Giving small amounts of character description in each scene, which you did with Max. Uriel could have some more detail. Good job here. And with writing flash fiction it is hard to incorporate these things into the story.



*DropG* Overall Impression:


There is a good story hidden in here. It needs some digging around to find it, a little polish. The title could work with this story after some work done to it. The title is catchy enough to hook someone into reading your story.

I liked the name of the tavern, it sounds like a place I would like to visit. I enjoyed reading your story and would re-rate if you ever decide to work more on it.


*DropG* Suggestions:

I found no grammar or punctuation errors. And other than already stated I have no other suggestions.



Thank you for sharing. And Keep on Writing.


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
192
192
Review of Consequence  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

I found you at Read & Review
I am reviewing "News?"

Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.



*StarY* Story line / Theme:

The story line is good. The plot moves at a good pace. The story flows freely and is easy to read. The title needs a little more, in my opinion, it doesn't hook the reader into the story. It was the description line that caught my attention.


*StarY* Characters / Setting:

You have three main characters with no physical description at all. Based on names there are two females and one male. But we don't know anything about them. This doesn't make them rememberable. You want your characters to be memberable. There is emotion with the story, Great job.

The setting takes place in high school, there is a writing room and lunch room. There is some description of the writing room, Good job.



*StarY* Overall Impression:

You have a good start to what could be a great story, it needs a little polish. I enjoyed reading it. And would be willing to re-review.


*StarY* Suggestions:

One thing I noticed was a lot of use of dialog tags, "he said", "I replied". Having your dialog full of these tags slows the story down. If you could use them sparingly and let the characters speak on their own.

“Is it okay to write up a ‘story’ like that?” I thought that day. You can use italics to show a character thinking to himself or talking to himself. Is it okay to write up a story like that, Erika thought.



Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
193
193
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Welcome to WDC.

Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.


*DropG* Title

I like the title. It drew me in to read your poem. It leads me to believe the poem is about two people who met to help each other for a special reason. It also works well for the poem.


*DropG* Structure

Free Style is the form used. It has good structure, the words flow easy from one to another. The punctuation used also helps the poem flow smoothly. Great job.



*DropG* Imagery:

I see a person who has met a lot of people in her life. And has let a few of them go. But there is one person that holds a special place in her heart.



*DropG* Overall Impression:

The poem is well written without errors. If has emotion and paints a picture of friendship.



Thank you for sharing. And Keep on Writing.


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
194
194
Review of The Hidden Heart  
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


I am reviewing "The Hidden Heart"

Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.


*StarY* Title:

The title hooked me into reading your poem. It's catchy, but also a little sad. I feel it fits with the poem.


*StarY* Structure:

Great structure with the rhyming. It has a nice flow and doesn't feel forced. The punctuation makes it easy to read.


*StarY* Imagery:

The words you have used paints a sad picture. I feel the sadness, the broken heart. Someone longing for a second chance at a lost love. Great job.


*StarY* Overall Impression:

This piece is nicely crafted. I enjoyed reading it. The second stanza really stands out in my mind. "I sift through ashen thoughts within my mind" I love that line.



Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
195
195
Review of Take Hold  
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


I am reviewing "Take Hold"

Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.


*StarY* Title:

Take Hold - I like the title. It drew me to read your poem. I fits the poem perfectly.


*StarY* Structure:

Free style, good structure. You also used punctuation which makes it easier to read. It has a nice flow to it. It sounds like it came from the heart. I found no errors.


*StarY* Imagery:

Taking about holding on to your dreams didn't really paint a vivid picture for me. But I did feel emotions, hope and desire and a little sadness.


*StarY* Overall Impression:

This is a wonderful poem. It is well crafted. I like the first and last stanzas.

I needed to hear the words you wrote. It can be hard to hold onto your dreams sometimes and we need that reminder not to let go. Thank you.



Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
196
196
Review of Torture  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Welcome to WDC.

Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.


*DropG* Storyline:

A great story, it is about the life a woman caught stealing and her life in prison so to speak. The plot moves at a great pace. The story held my attention as I read. I like the title, it fits, but then it doesn't fit. I believe there should be a better title for this story.


*DropG* Characters/Setting:

When writing flash fiction you don't have the option of many details. However, I feel you have written it where the reader picks up and creates the character. Same for the setting. The reader can get a feel of where Rachael is at. Good job.

However, there is not much physical description for either.


*DropG* Overall Impression:

I feel this story is well written. The first paragraph doesn't really grab you into the story. It's the title that hooked my attention. I like the ending where you left it open for the story to continue. You left me wondering does she get on the wagon? Does she try to kidnap William? Does she beg the governor to let her stay?


*DropG* Suggestions:

I found no error and have no suggestions. Great job.



Thank you for sharing. And Keep on Writing.


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
197
197
Review of Mum's The Word  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Welcome to WDC.

Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.


*DropG* Storyline:

This is an interesting story. It is about a woman who sit and watches and doesn't speak. I feel some of this story is repeated through out. There is not much plot to the story. The title is good, it fits the story.

*DropG* Characters/Setting:

You have good description about the snake. However, with mum, we only know that she is female with brown curls and that she likes to watch the animals and people. There is not much physical description of her. Leaving some detail to the readers imagination is good, but not everything.

*DropG* Overall Impression:

There is good writing here, I feel it needs a little work.

*DropG* Suggestions:

The snake spoke to her. This can be left out because in the next line you wrote the snake said.



Thank you for sharing. And Keep on Writing.


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
198
198
Review of The Building  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

I am reviewing "The Building"

Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.



*StarY* Story line / Theme:

A young woman walks into another world and meets up with a strange creature. The plot moves along at a good pace. And it keeps the reader on the edge of her seat reading on. The title is okay. It doesn't pull the reader in, it was the description of the story that peeked my curiosity.


*StarY* Characters / Setting:

There is no description to the two characters in the story. I know one is female, and she doesn't have a name. You did good at the setting. I could see the busy city streets and people.


*StarY* Overall Impression:

I like the story. It hooked me in within the first paragraph. It flows together and is easy to read. I didn't have to go back and re-read to understand it. I found no grammar or punctuation errors. I did notice of few adverbs.

I am curious to know what the creature was that she met? I'm thinking gargoyle.


*StarY* Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this story.


*StarY* What I like:

I like the ending of the story. You left it open, so you could come back and add to it if you wanted to.


Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
199
199
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
That is an awesome story. I'm glad Boo was okay.

The story is well written and the title is great is fits the story perfectly. It was also what drew me to your story. Great job. The story line moves at a great pace. I found no grammar or punctuation errors. The only suggestion I have is to explain who is Mr. Hooves?

Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann


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200
200
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

I am reviewing "A Place in my Heart

Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.


*StarY* Title:
I like the title. I feel it works well with this piece. The fact that you used it in the poem makes it work with this poem.

*StarY* Structure:
Great structure, it has a great flow and flows easy.

*StarY* Imagery:
I see a lost love. A lost love but never forgotten. I can feel love, but also a sadness.

*StarY* Overall Impression:
This poem is well written. It keeps with the rules of the style you chose. I have no suggestions.

Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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