I read your poem about winter and thought I'll check out your portfolio. I enjoyed reading "Limbing in Autumn". The title caught my attention. It is well written and I found no errors. I could see the story unfold as I read. Great job.
I understand the reason for some tree trimming, like the power lines you mentioned and the rotting limb. To me trees weren't meant to be trimmed or ripped out of the ground. They are part of mother natures beauty.
I found you at Read & Review
I am reviewing "In Winter"
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Title:
I like the title, it fits well with the poem. It also sends a chill down my spine, because winter is cold.
Structure:
Good structure. I found no grammar errors.
Imagery:
Your words really paint a great picture of a frozen homeland. I see the setting sun with the geese flying by and the woods shivering in the wind. Great job.
Overall Impression:
I enjoyed reading your poem. I tried to find a line or two that really stood out, but there was so many it is hard to say. Great job. I hope you find your path.
I found you at Read & Review
I am reviewing "Unworthy"
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Title:
The title caught my attention, making me want to read your poem. I had to find out if you were unworthy. After reading this heart felt poem I realize you are very worthy for your love.
Structure:
The structure is good, I found no spelling errors.
Imagery:
With your words you have painted an emotional picture of true love. Something that is hard to find now days. I can feel the love you hold for your wife. And I bet she returns your love.
Overall Impression:
This poem is well written. I enjoyed reading it. I can't say that I like a specific stanza better, it is a wonderful poem. Great job.
I found you in the Horror/Scary Newsletter.
I am reviewing "The Grandson Place
Please remember these are my opinions and don't take it the wrong way.
Story line / Theme:
A typical ghost story where the local teenagers go on a ghost hunt. The title is good, but I don't feel it draws the reader in to the story.
Characters / Setting:
Good description of setting. I could see the old house standing with smashed windows, old ragged curtains hanging from old rods. Darkness. There is not a lot of physical description but you get a sense of who these guys are. And sometimes leaving out description and letting the reader add in their own ideas is good. Great job.
Overall Impression:\
A great spooky tale. I was sitting on the edge as I read every one. Wanting more. I liked the ending. Leaving it open, leaving the reader wanting more. Like do the police find Ralph's body? What do they do when they return to the car and see the bloody head? Is the scared man caught? Great job.
Suggestions: You wanna tell me how I'm supposed to pass you on a one-lane highway, hot-shot?" Maybe use road instead of highway, because most highways have two if not four lanes.
What I like: veil of darkness that hung like folded wings I love this line. I enjoyed reading the whole story.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on writing!
I found you on Read & Review
I am reviewing "Etched in Time"
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Story line / Theme:This is a love story about a girl who found a boy who thought he was unworthy of her time and love.
Characters / Setting:There is no physical description of the two characters with no names. The characters are not rememberable because of this. There is no description of setting so we do not know where the story takes place.
Overall Impression:This is a good draft for what could be a great story. It just needs a little polish. The title is what caught my attention.
Suggestions:There is not a lot of dialog. And the story is mostly told not showed. You always want to show not tell. It keeps the reader interested in the story.
What I like:I like the title. It sounds like something from so long ago.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on writing!
Overall Impressions: A good word search. I was able to find all the words, but there was some difficulty. I chose this search because of the title, I'm a big cat fan, love them.
Were there enough words to make it challenging? Yes, the list has plenty of words. The puzzle was challenging.
Was everything spelled correctly? All the words are spelled properly.
Was it targeted toward a specific audience? Yes, cat people.
Was it entertaining, challenging, easy, enlightening, unique, creative? I felt the search was unique with a creative list of words. It is a fun puzzle to do.
Was the introduction enticing and include a purpose or directions? There is no direction or introduction.
What did you like the best? I enjoyed finding the words. I like the title.
Do you have any suggestions? Maybe a word or two shorter, it was a little difficult especially toward the end.
I found your name on the NAG Showcase.
Congratulations on being selected to the NAG Showcase
I am reviewing "The End of Magic" Chapter one.
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Story line / Theme:It is a chapter about a guy, Kristopher and his adventure with a U.F.O. while flying his Ultralight Plane. I like the title for you story. It pulled me in, but I have to say I was a little disappoint to find that the beginning was about putting together a plane.
Characters / Setting: Kristopher is the main character so far and you have given great details about him and some detail about his x-friend Heilee. I can see him sitting in his plane and flying through the sky. The description of the desert is good. I can feel the cold crisp air and the sun peeping out.
Overall Impression: This piece is well written. It has good physical description and setting. The story was easy to read and follow.
Suggestions: In the first paragraph I feel you have stated having Heilee's help a little redundant. There are three references to her help.
No other suggestions.
What I like: I enjoyed reading the chapter, the last paragraph was my favorite, the way you ended the chapter left me wanting to read more. Great job.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on writing!
I found you through Read & Review
I am reviewing "For John"
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Title:To me the title is not catchy. And John is not mentioned in the poem. Maybe Searching, for that is what he is doing.
Structure:Free verse, a good choice it gives room to be more creative. I found no grammar errors.
Imagery:I see a person, sadden because he doesn't have a job. He is looking and trying and getting nowhere. You have used words to paint a story that is easy to follow. Great job.
Overall Impression:I feel the poem is well written. It has good detail.
I found you listed on the right side of the site.
I am reviewing "Just a picture of You"
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Title: I like the title. It fits. It gives a hint to what the poem is about.
Structure: Free Verse, always a good style to use. It let you be more creative with the story you are trying to tell.
Imagery: I see someone looking through an old shoe box full of photographs. And then they stubble upon a photo of a love years ago. Memories flood the mind of their life together. Emotions began to stir.
Overall Impression: I feel this poem is well written, it paints a scene of memories. Great job.
I found you in the Noticing Newbies Newletter
I am reviewing "Your Eyes Don't look Right"
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
First I would like to say congratulations for being featured in the newsletter.
Story line / Theme:A story about a guy on a date that doesn't feel right to him.
Characters / Setting:You have some good character description here. You have shown that through dialog and by telling the story. Good job.
I can tell the story is taking place outside under the stars and moon. Another Good job. One suggestion, give names to the characters. It makes them more believable.
Overall Impression:The story line is good and the plot moves along at a good pace. I like the idea behind the story and would enjoy reading more, if you decide to add more to it. The title doesn't quite go with the story. Maybe something about the unknown creature.
Suggestions:"I have to go. I didn't realize...how late it was." change "was" to "is", your story is written in present tense, "was" is past tense.
Also drop the last line, the story would be more rememberable leaving off with the the creature disappearing. It leaves the reader wanting more.
What I like:I enjoyed the last paragraph, the description of the creature. Good job.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on writing!
I found you featured in the Newbie Newsletter
I am reviewing "Hollow"
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Title:The title you have chosen works well for this poem. It caught my attention. Great Job.
Structure:I enjoy reading free style poetry. I feel you have more freedom to express yourself. Good job here.
Imagery:You have painted a story with your words. I can feel the emotions. I see a person in pain and in turmoil. I see a person who needs to forgive himself and let the pain go, but can not.
Overall Impression:I really like the title and the first seven lines. I believe you have told your story well. I have no suggestions for this poem.
Imagery:The words you have used paints a picture of a lovely place to be if the temps weren't so cold. I can see the crystal blue sky, the landscape, shattering ice.
Overall Impression:This is wonderful piece of poetry. It is well written. I give a 5 star. I have nothing negative to say about this poem.
I found you on the random read & review
I am reviewing "Endangers Species
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Story line / Theme:This is a story about cat-like creatures who are researching endangered species.
Characters / Setting:The main characters are a commander and a professor that are cat-like creatures and the setting is in a research lab. For flash fiction I believe you did well in both. Of course more detail in both area's would make the story better.
Overall Impression:I feel you did a good job writing this story, it moves at a good pace. You have a good hook to pull the reader in. I find the first paragraph intriguing. The title really fit the storyline.
Suggestions:I suspect however Global Laboratories solved their overpopulation problem is the root cause of the issues we're having." I suspect, however, Glodbal . . .
What I like:I like the idea of having what appears to be cats studying the human race. It is a different out look for a story.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on writing!
I found you in the Horror / Scary Newsletter
I am reviewing "Mirror, Mirror"
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Story line / Theme:A story about a person who steps through the mirror to another world.
Characters / Setting:I feel some description about the main character would be good There is no name, is it male or female. The first setting is in a bedroom. After stepping through the mirror I could tell the dog was happy to be home with his/her master.
Overall Impression:This story is well written. I enjoyed reading it. I was hooked at the beginning when the person woke to a dark bedroom. The plot moved along at a good pace. I could envision the story unfolding as I read. The ending was different.
Suggestions:I have no suggestions for this story other than what I pointed out earlier.
What I like:My favorite line: But it wasn’t me that was looking at myself, it was a strange dark hooded figure with piercing eyes and bony hands. Its fingers made a tapping sound on the inside of the mirror. The figure smiled a crooked smile. I love the way you described the creature.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on writing!
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
I am reviewing "Soon Enough"
Story line / Theme:This is a story about a man who misses his life long love and will anything to see her again.
Characters:There is no physical description of any of your characters. However, there is emotion in all three. There is sadness, pain, grief, the wanting to help.
Writing Style/ Narrative Voice:I liked the storyline, it has an easy flow to it. I was surprised at the end. I wasn't expecting the twist.
Setting:I see a little house sitting by the ocean, all private and peaceful. You did a great job telling about the house with the bird houses and gardens. You even managed to weave sadness into the setting.
Suggestions: The beginning is confusing to me. Robert yelled through the barricaded door of the beach-house. “Don’t come any closer.” He could hear his granddaughter’s plea. This last line feels out of place here.
“Grandpa, don’t do this. Gran wouldn’t want this.” I think that last line should be added here either at the beginning or the ending.
The roar of the surf muffled her tears, but the torment in his head was deafening. Soon enough. The voice echoed like heartbeats in the empty halls of his soul. I'm still confused here. First it talks about the granddaughter, then it switches to the grandfather hearing the voice.
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Story line / Theme:I am reviewing "Bah-Humbug-A Holiday Rant". This piece is abouttThe rants of a bad Christmas.
Characters:There is no physical character description. However, there is plenty of emotion. I can feel the pain of this person. Great Job.
Setting:There is location setting, places and stores where this person is going and has been.
Suggestions:All I ever wanted to with my life is write. All I ever wanted to do with y life is write.
However the banker doesn't fail to give you a Lee-press-on-smile and wish you a merry Christmas! However, the banker . . .
However you bite your tongue so hard that it bleeds as you try to convince yourself that being Bubba's girlfriend for the next ten years isn't worth what you really want to do! However, you bite . . .
Over all it is a good rant. I like the title. Good luck in the contest.
My favorite part: "Thank you Scrooge,", is the response you believe would be appropriate but you would replace the word "thank" with a much more colorful one! However you bite your tongue so hard that it bleeds as you try to convince yourself that being Bubba's girlfriend for the next ten years isn't worth what you really want to do!
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.{/b}
I am reviewing The Dark Cathedral.
I enjoyed reading your poem. I could picture the Cathedral and see the souls entering the gates. The first stanza drew me in and each line keep me hanging on. I have no suggestions to offer. It was well written.
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Story line / Theme:This is a story about a man in a mad search for a grave.
Characters:The descriptions of Amos and mamma are good. I could visualize each character. I could feel the emotions and frustration of Amos.
Writing Style/ Narrative Voice:The story drew me in within the first paragraph and kept me reading, wanting more. I loved the part where the voice was introduced into the story. The plot moves at a fast pace keeping the reader wanting more.
Setting:Great description of the cemetery, I could see the story unfold as I read.
Suggestions:His dark, blue eyes searching for a familiar landmark as the blackness slowly turned to muted shades or gray muted shades of gray.
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
An interesting poem, I felt sadness when I read it. It sounds like something is missing in the life of the person the poem is about and that they feel like they will never find what is missing.
Great writing style. I have no suggestions for this poem.
Please remember these are my opinion and don't take it the wrong way.
Story line / Theme:Natalie and Shayne is the story I am reviewing. It is about a young couple facing the problems of having a child and a possibility of losing a wife or save the wife and lose the unborn child. A very difficult issue to deal with.
Characters:Natalie's character is well created, you have all elements. I can feel her pain. Shayne's character is good, however, there is no physical description of her. I can tell she is understanding and in love with Natalie.
Writing Style/ Narrative Voice:The story started out strong and continued strong. It pulled me in and kept me reading on.
Setting:I feel you have done a great job in the settings. It was easy to see everything going on. I felt like I was there watching the story unfold.
Suggestions:The only other suggestion I can give is the title. I don't feel it is as strong as the story.
Keep on writing
Gypsy Ann
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "
Overall Impressions: A good word search. I was able to find all the words, but there was some difficulty. I chose this search because of the title, I'm a big cat fan, love them.