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Public Reviews
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151
151
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

*Books3* *Quill* This is a Newbies + Poetry Group Review *Quill* *Books3*


Hello slowmotionsunset

I found you on the Newbies Poetry Group Review page

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

Rhythm & Flow:

There is good rhythm and each line flows into the next. It is easy to read and follow. I feel it is well written.

Imagery & Emotions:

I can see the moon man dancing and the bats flying around and singing. It reminds me of a happy and carefree time.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and have no suggestions.


Conclusion:

I like the line Wake the beast which dance and dance the night away Here you are inviting all creatures to join in the dance. I like that. I also like the description Moon-Bats

I enjoyed read The Music of the Moon-Cicadas. Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


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152
152
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Jeannie

I found you listed on the crossword page.


Please keep in mine these are only my opinions and nothing more.


This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


*Owl3* Overall Impressions:


How did you do on the crossword?
I did good, was stumped on a few - 1,2,7, 11; and had to think about a couple.


Was it targeted toward a specific audience?
The theme was about the United States, I don't consider this theme being a specific topic or geared to a specific audience.

Was it entertaining, challenging, easy, enlightening, unique, creative?
This puzzle is very entertaining. I enjoyed working it. It is creative and enlightening because I did have to look up a few answers. There is a definite challenge here.

Was everything spelt correctly?
Number 5 down Where is the Golden State Bridge located? I thought is was named the Golden Gate Bridge. I am not from Cali so I could be wrong.

Was the introduction enticing and include a purpose or directions?
The picture used is very beautiful. I would love to visit. The poem is wonderful and serves purpose for this puzzle. The title and tag line pulled me in.

There are no sources, links, or hints. The introduction is well written. I feel there is great direction with no confusion.


*Owl3* Do you have any suggestions?

The only suggestion I have is the one listed above. Other than that I wouldn't change a thing.


Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed working your United States Puzzle. I am from Oklahoma. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


153
153
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Crazyshark101

I found you listed on the crossword puzzle page.


Please keep in mine these are only my opinions and nothing more.


This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


*Owl3* Overall Impressions:


How did you do on the crossword?
I was able to answer all the questions except one, 16 across.

How familiar were you with the content?
I love Zelda and have played most of the games.

Was it targeted toward a specific audience?
Yes, it is geared toward the video games dealing with the world of Zelda.

Was it entertaining, challenging, easy, enlightening, unique, creative?
I found it very challenging and creative. It is entertaining and fun. I enjoyed working through the puzzle. It did take a while to complete, my spelling is not the best.

Was everything spelt correctly?
I found no spelling errors.

Was the introduction enticing and include a purpose or directions?
There was no introduction or directions, just the puzzle. A reference to which game is offered for most of the questions. There were no hints or links offered.


What did you like the best?
I like the theme to the puzzle. The title is what pulled me into the puzzle.


*Owl3* Do you have any suggestions?

My only suggestion would be to add an introduction to the puzzle.

Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


154
154
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello Wolfbane

I found your name featured in the Spiritual Newsletter. Congrats.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

Rhythm & Flow:

Amazing. Great rhythm and flow. It is easy to read and follow. I wish I could write poetry like this. Mine always seems forced. That's why I write free style.

Imagery & Emotions:

I can see the fog rolling through the dark countryside. And a gorgeous white unicorn with long flowing mane standing proudly on a mountaintop waiting to cross the rainbow bridge. Time for a new journey.

Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and have no suggestions. It is well written.


Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading A Whinny In the Fog. I like the poem as a whole, but the last two lines are my favorite. Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


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155
155
Review of Daughter Mine  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello Ismaeduval

I found your name on the Angel Review Forum, Authors Spotlight.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest {/b}


Rhythm & Flow:

Daughter Mine has a good rhythm and it flows wells. And I noticed some rhyming to your poem. Great job. This piece is nicely written.


Imagery & Emotions:

As I read I could see a mother watching her child from heaven. Hoping she moves on with her life and not grieve. That is love.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and have no suggestions.


Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading Daughter Mine. I like the last stanza because that is where the love is at. Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


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156
156
Review of In Unscathed Land  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello D.S. Whited

I found your name on the Angel Review Forum, Author Spotlight.


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest {/b}


Rhythm & Flow:

There is some rhyming to your poem with a good rhythm. It flows quite well and doesn't feel forced.

Imagery & Emotions:

Reading through your port I found a lot of anger and sadness in your poems. I only hope this is a preferred writing style.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and the only suggestion I have is to add more to your story. Give some more detail about the live and the world in the unscathed land


Conclusion:

I like first two lines in the first stanza. I enjoyed reading In Unscathed Land. Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


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157
157
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hello Danial Francis

I found your name on the Angel Review Forum, Authors Spotlight.


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest {/b}

Rhythm & Flow:

The Tide has a great rhythm and a nice flow. It doesn't feel forced. You kept a rhyming scheme with each stanza.


Imagery & Emotions:

I feel lots of emotion with the words you used. I feel sadness, unworthiness, and feeling of not being wanted or needed. Great job.


Grammar & Punctuation:

I found no errors and have no suggestions.


Conclusion:

I love the title, I feel it fits the poem. My favorite stanza is the first, it really speaks to me. I enjoyed reading The Tide.

Thank you for sharing.
Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


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158
158
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you. Yes, this does help for I had given up hope on my dreams. But with strength I will continue on my road and to not let the Knight of Pentacles slow me down.

As a review, you have a wonderful and colorful use of words. I can see a story here and warning signs. There is a great rhythm with your words. Again another fantastic poem. You have a great gift in poetry.
159
159
Review of The Random Quiz  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello flyingpigz1

I found you listed on the quiz page.


Please keep in mine these are only my opinions and nothing more.


This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


*Owl3* Overall Impressions:


How did you do on the quiz?
I scored a 5 out of 8. Not bad.

Was it targeted toward a specific audience?
No, the questions were random as if pulled from a hat.

Was it entertaining, challenging, easy, enlightening, unique, creative?
This quiz was entertaining and unique. It offered questions from different aspects of live.

Was it well-worded, clear and organized?
It is easy to read, understand, and well organized. It doesn't have a purpose nor directions. There is not much to the introduction.

Were the choices appropriate?
The choices are good according to the question asked.

What did you like the best?
I like the fact that it is all random with no theme.

What attracted you to do this quiz?
The name of the quiz, The Random Quiz.


*Owl3* Do you have any suggestions?

I have no suggestions and found no errors.


Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


160
160
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello iKiyasama

I found you listed on the quiz page


Please keep in mine these are only my opinions and nothing more.


This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


*Owl3* Overall Impressions:


How did you do on the quiz?
5 out of 10. It is very challenging.

Was it targeted toward a specific audience?
Yes, for people who like horror and the master, Stephen King.

Was it entertaining, challenging, easy, enlightening, unique, creative?
This quiz was entertaining and enlightening. I had to peek as the correct answers. I feel it is creative.

Was it well-worded, clear and organized?
Yes. It is clear and easy to read and understand. The introduction is amazing, it offers a purpose and directions. It also offers a link to Stephen King word search, which I plan to check out.

Were the choices appropriate?
Yes, it offered challenging choices.

What attracted you to do this quiz?
I love to read Stephen King and watch his movies.



*Owl3* Do you have any suggestions?

I have no suggestions and found no errors.


Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


161
161
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello eyestar

I found you listed on the quizz page


Please keep in mine these are only my opinions and nothing more.


This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


*Owl3* Overall Impressions:


How did I do on the quiz?
I scored 4 out of 5.

How familiar were you with the content?
I am pretty familiar with Dragons. I love them.

Was it targeted toward a specific audience?
Yes, toward people who like and know dragons.

Was it entertaining, challenging, easy, enlightening, unique, creative?
I found it challenging and entertaining. I had to really think on one question.

Was it well-worded, clear and organized?
Yes. It was clear to read and understand. The information was well organized. It offered good choices to the questions. The introduction was well thought out and catchy to get you in to take the quiz.

What attracted you to do this quiz?
The fact that it dealt with dragons.




*Owl3* Do you have any suggestions?

I have no suggestions and I found no errors.



Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


162
162
Review of Weeping Angels  
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello MissyFox
I found your poem in the Fantasy Newsletter.

A great poem. It has a good rhythm and each line flows nicely into the next. My favorite line is "Secrets of time you struggle to keep". I found no errors and have no suggestions. Great job.

I enjoyed reading your poem
Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann


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163
163
Review of Djinn Tonic  
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello HuntersMoon
I found your story featured in the Fantasy Newsletter.


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest


What I like:

I like the title, it fits the story. And I like the story as a whole, it made me giggle.


Overall Impression:

It is a cute story. I like how Bob gets rid of his wife, someone he doesn't seem to like anymore. I never thought a genie would get a headache, nice addition.
I could see the story unfold as I read it. Great job.


Suggestions:

I found no errors and have suggestions.


Final Thoughts/Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

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164
164
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello Graham B.
I found your story featured in the Fantasy Newsletter.


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest


What I like:

As he spread his translucent wings, the blue-green glow spread to illuminate the nearby trees. I like the way you describe the faeries take-off. I was drawn to read your story because of the tag line, I love fairies and faeries. I also like the name of the main character, Fox.


Overall Impression:

A nicely written story. I like the story line. The plot moves at a good pace and I could see the story unfold as I read. Great job.

I felt a little sad at the end. I mean Fox risks his life for a mushroom only to get home to find friends have brought all the mushroom and the like that the village will ever need.


Suggestions:

Though Fox new many tricks, knew instead of new

I also noticed several adverbs in the story.

Final Thoughts/Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

The WDC Army Angels


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165
165
Review of How To Meditate  
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hello Intuey

I found your name and poem featured in the Spiritual Newsletter.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

I found this poem relates to me quit a bit. I meditate on a daily basis. And I have traveled to places you speak of.

I like the title, it is what drew me in to read your poem. It has a great flow to it. Each line moves with the next line just like the breathing you mentioned. I feel the poem is well written. I found no errors and have no suggestions.

I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


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166
166
Review of He called  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Suzi17
I found your story on the Angel Review Forum, Authors Spotlight.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest {/b}



What I like:{/b}

I like the story line, it is very interesting.


Overall Impression:{/b}

After looking through your port I chose to read and review "He called". The title is what pulled me into your story. I feel it could be a great story. It needs a little polish. Like description of your characters and setting. Parts of the story is being told, you want to show not tell.

The plot moved along at a good pace, not to slow. It kept me reading on to see what happened. It has a happy ending with Alisha and Fred getting married.


Suggestions:{/b}

unable to run any longer because she scraped had her knee when she fell. this sounds funny, maybe - she scraped her knee as she fell -

It was autumn so it usually didn’t get down to 40 degrees at night. Are you trying to say that is stays warm on an autumn night or that it gets cold?


Final Thoughts/Conclusion:{/b}

I enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

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167
167
Review of The Devil Inside  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Alissa Rose

I found your name on the Angel Review Forum, Authors Spotlight.
Congratulations on being selected.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest{/b}


I like the lyrics, they have a nice rhythm and each line flows into the next. I hung on each line wondering what was coming next. There are several stanzas that I like. I found no errors and have no suggestions.

I enjoyed reading your song lyrics.
Thank you for sharing. Keep on Writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


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168
168
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

Hello Prosperous Snow
I found your story featured in the Mystery Newsletter.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest {/b}



What I like:{/b}

I like the idea of the story line. It is interesting and captured my attention. It would be great to read about some of things that happen within the fifteen years.


Overall Impression:{/b}

This is a good short story and well written. The story line moves at a good pace and is easy to follow. The title is good and fits the story. The ending is good. I like how you ended it with this person not knowing for sure if they are alive or dead.


Suggestions:{/b}

A little description of setting and characters would make it more rememberable. I'n not even sure if the person here is male or female.


Final Thoughts/Conclusion:{/b}

I enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you for sharing your story. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

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169
169
Review of Fairytale Lullaby  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hello: Jinx Welcome to WDC.
I found you featured in the Noticing Newbies Newsletter.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest


*DropG*What I liked:

I like the title of your poem. It is catchy.


*DropG*Overall Impression:

An interesting tale that moves through different old nursery rhymes, hence the title. I liked most of the poem until the last five stanza's then I became lost. They didn't seem to follow your fairytale theme.


*DropG*Suggestions:

Dragon ate the bread scrums Hansel and Gretal left remove the "s" from scrums. I think it would sound better.


*DropG*Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading your poem. And again welcome to WDC.
Thank you for sharing. And Keep on Writing.


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

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170
170
Review of Why do you write?  
Review by The Dark Faery
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello A thinker never sleeps

I found you listed on the Poll page.


Please keep in mine these are only my opinions and nothing more.


This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


*Owl3* Overall Impressions:


I don't feel this poll is targeted toward a specific audience, because it asks the reason why you write. It is enlightening to see that 140 people replied with other. I was tore between expressing my feelings and escaping reality.

The introduction is simple. It asks the question. On a positive note it is clear and easy to follow directions and well organized. I feel it has a sense of purpose of being curious.

The choices listed are very good answers. I feel you gave enough for everyone to pick from.

I actually picked this poll to do and to review because it is has a sense of purpose. I feel some one the polls on the page are crazy.


*Owl3* Do you have any suggestions?

I found no errors and have no suggestions to offer. Great job.


Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


171
171
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Spidey

I found your poll in my newsfeed.


Please keep in mine these are only my opinions and nothing more.


This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


*Owl3* Overall Impressions:


Your poll is targeted toward people who like/love to read horror. Most people have chosen ghosts. I like reading about ghosts. I am a big fan of horror so I found this poll enlightening.

The questions and answers are well written. It is clear and easy to understand. As well as being well organized. I believe there could have been a few more choices for the person taking the poll. But you did bring up that issue in the introduction.

The introduction included great directions and had a sense of purpose, curious.

The like the title, that is what drew me in as well as the subject.


*Owl3* Do you have any suggestions?

I have no suggestions and I found no errors.


Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


172
172
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello South West Sophie

I found this poll in my newsfeed


Please keep in mine these are only my opinions and nothing more.


This is a review from "Invalid Item" 


*Owl3* Overall Impressions:


This poll is targeted toward writers and where do they prefer to be when writing. I found this poll to be very enlightening. Most people are divided between being mobile and can write anywhere or needed their desk.

The poll is clear and easy to read. It is very organized. You gave a great variety of answers to pick from.

The introduction is catchy. It offers graphics and multi-colored sentences. You gave your answer as to where you like to be when you write. I feel there is a sense of purpose here of being curious.

I like the title you picked. It is what drew me in and I was curious to see what other said. I was amazed at the results.


*Owl3* Do you have any suggestions?

I don't have any suggestions and I found no errors. Great job.


Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.

Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*


173
173
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello jungurait8

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest {/b}

I found you listed on the action/adventure page.


PLOT

The first part of your story didn't seem to have much of a plot. It mostly was repeated over and over. When the story gets told to others add new details to the story being told or find another way to say the same thing.

The dream part was action driven and unpredictable. This is were the chapter stared to get interesting. Starting the story with the dream may keep your reader hanging on to read the rest of the chapter.


PACE

The pace was very slow until the dream. When Dakota enters the dream the pace picks up which is what keeps your reader turning the page.


SETTING

There was not a lot of physical description to your story. However, most people know what a boarding school is like. The cave had some description. Good job.
I could see the story unfolding as I read. Great job.


HERO/HEROINE

At this point in the story I'm going to assume Dakota is the hero, but not real sure. There had been no mention of a quest or anything to prove his worthiness yet. He shows no skills of a hero.

These elements need to presented in the first chapter if you want to have a strong character.


COMPLICATIONS

A another element you need is complications. So far Dakota has a bully and he doesn't stand up for himself. Excitement didn't come into place until the dream started.


Suggestions

Dakota was was lying in bed deciding whether to get up or not.Remove one the "was"

Thoran and Dakota have been the roommate for the past two year at South Eastern Academy This does not sound right. Maybe remove "the" and change roomates


This piece needs some polish. I have noticed several wrong words, repeated phases, and misspelling. A good re-read would fix those issues. Also if you can change your passive verbs to active verbs this will make the story stronger and more intriguing.


Final Thoughts

I was drawn into your story by the title. I believe your story has a great story line. I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing your story. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

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174
174
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello jinxed myself

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest {/b}

I found you on the Action/Adventure page


PLOT

The first part of the story is action driven. It has a great hook within the first paragraph. The second part seemed more like character driven. So far in chapter one I feel the story is unpredictable.


PACE

The pace of the first part was fast and kept me on the edge of my seat to see what happened. As for the second part I feel the pace slowed down. It moved along at a steady pace.


SETTING

There is not much description of a setting in either part. However, I could picture the men looking for Eric and a short fight. I could see the wild stallion bucking and then the Tor calming the animal.


HERO/HEROINE

At this point in the story the hero/heroine is not really known. Nor is it known as to what the adventure is to be about. There has been only a couple of characters revealed. It would seem that Eric has some skill with a blade. And Tor has some skill with horses.


COMPLICATIONS

I sense physical danger with Eric. First with the sword fight, then with the unknown rider. It holds excitement and the desire to read more. However, with Tor I would have to say the opposite at this point. I hope it changes in the next chapter.


Final Thoughts

I was pulled into the story from the tag line. It sounds like it is going to be an exciting tale. I also like the title chosen.
I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing your story. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

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175
175
Review of Moon and Sun  
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hello: Welcome to WDC.
I found you featured in the Spiritual Newsletter, Congrats.

Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest


*DropG*What I liked:

I love the title. I follow the moon, but without the sun depressions sets in, so anything about the moon and sun I enjoy reading. I also like how you called the moon mother and the sun father.


*DropG*Overall Impression:

My favorite part are the last three lines of the poem. "With her beautiful cloak spread across the sky" brings protection.
This is a well crafted poem. It has a nice even flow and doesn't feel forced. The title fits well with this piece.


*DropG*Suggestions:

I have no suggestions to offer.


*DropG*Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading your poem.
Thank you for sharing. And Keep on Writing.


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

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