Uni had finished early today. My 3p.m. lecture had been cancelled so I was able to leave at 1. I left the uni and made my way to (Holloway road tube station). I believe this should read: I left Uni and made my way to Holloway Road Tube Station. [I am just asking] Also be careful using the word 'that' too often. An author on Our Echo.com advised me concerning the word 'that'. I have a habit of using it too much. Also, be certain you are using your punctuations correctly.
time that I (mayÂ) as well get Sisters." come(s) through the speakers/or you can use 'came'
As I put everything away(gets a comma) I have a As I put everything away, I have
Also, don't use too many (ands) It distracts from the story
the announcer says, "Breaking news, just in, approximately half an hour ago there was an incident at Tottenham Hale tube station. An unidentified man in a black hoodie and blue jeans on the Victoria tube line according to one other passenger seemed to suddenly jump up
the announcer says, "Breaking news just in, approximately half an hour ago an incident occurred at Tottenham Hale Tube Station. An unidentified man, in a black hoodie and blue jeans, on the Victoria Tube Line, according to a passenger, suddenly jumped up, grabbed some bags off the floor and bolted off the tube. The passenger, a teacher, at first thought nothing of the man's actions although he thought it a bit weird and abrupt. The teacher said he noticed the man left his bag in the seat. His first inclination was to return the bag to the stranger, but the tube had already left the station. He decided to leave the bag where it lay.
Something inside the bag began beeping. As he got up to investigate, another passenger grabbed him by his arm, "Don't touch that bag! I'm an officer of the law. That bag may contain a bomb and could be triggered if it is moved or opened." Panic sat in for the teacher and those traveling on the tube.
(P.S. I was a police officer in real life. I am speaking as an officer would speak in the above situation. There would be more than a 'sight panic')
The officer activated a button on his radio contacting the driver, "We have a suspicious package on board. Kindly request the 'bomb unit'. Have them standing by at the next station." As soon as the tube stopped at Totteham Hale Station there was an immediate evacuation of all passengers and personnel. The bomb squad was standing by along with the 'bomb-sniffing' dog. The officer advised the squad about his suspicions and proper precautions were set in motion. Two connecting stations, Seven Sisters and Blackhorse Road, were also alerted. Their passengers and personnel were also evacuated. All trains that traveled the Victoria Line were evacuated.
The officer advised the conductor to announce, over the intercom, "This is not a drill! Will all passengers and personnel calmly make their way to the nearest exit immediately. Due to a security issue, Tottenham Hale Station is currently closed. The constable and the security team will usher everyone to safety."
As the local law-enforcement officers secured the area, the bomb squad entered the tube, led by the constable, to the seat where the suspicious package laid. (You don't want to say the officer brought them the offending bag because there was a beeping inside it).
The bomb squad's dog and handler entered the tube first. NOTE: You can take it from here. I wish you the best. Always check your spelling, punctuation's, complete words, i.e. To, two (numbers) and too meaning 'also'
If you break your story up into paragraphs, it will make for easier reading to those who read your story.
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I am almost
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