I wasn't expecting it to be so long. I also don't usually read romance stories and gothic, but to be fair, I thought the story was pretty good. I feel sorry for the vampire, since he keeps calling himself hideous, but I wouldn't mind being a vampire. Still, I thought it was a great story and I couldn't see any mistakes. I liked reviewing this one. Keep Writing.
Great story! I loved it! I liked the fact that the dragon actually became friends with the elves, and I loved the imagination that you had. I liked the fact that the gun actually belonged to an elf guard, and I thought it was quite funny that the guard tripped over. It was a good story, and I hope to see more posts. Keep writing!
I loved this story as much as your last one: "Yggdrasil and the Nine Realms" . It was excellent. I'm planning on giving this one an awardicon as well, and I'll also give you another merit badge, but I'll have to wait two weeks for that to happen. Anyways I loved your story. Keep writing.
I liked the story. Being a thirteen year old kid, I know what this is like. I always thought that there was a sock monster living in my house too, but after a while, you grow up and realise it isn't real. Anyways I thought the story was perfect, but there were a few mistakes.
When you were mentioning them not knowing how to read or write, you put a full stop instead of a comma, which would have been the better option for this. Apart from that mistake I thought the story was great. Keep writing, and have a nice day.
Amazing! . I love norse stories and this was great. I have learned a lot about norse mythology, so I know about this tree. It was a great story and I liked the fact that you spoke about every land on Yggdrasil. It was a Great story. Keep writing.
Great story. There was a lot of imagination in this, and I loved it. I thought the orphan was going to live with the wolves, but I never expected him to go live with an old lady. I loved the last line though. 'As we walked past the fruit trees down the gravel path to her door, I knew I had been led to my forever home'. Great story. Keep writing.
I liked the storyline, and the fact that he goes to save the women who I guessed were sirens However, there were a few mistakes, but I will be getting to that in a minute. Anyways, as I was saying I loved the story, and the fact that these creatures took him to the water with them.
Now I'll be getting to the mistakes. When you were mentioning the captain hearing a faint sound, you should have added a comma after 'that afternoon'. When he said 'good afternoon ladies', instead of a comma, it should've been a full stop. You also repeated 'captain' too many times in one sentence. Apart from that I liked it. Keep posting.
I really liked that story, but I did not think that it was funny. I'm not a big fan of little kids getting hurt. Still the story was excellent. However, there were a few mistakes, but I'll get to that in a minute. I'm going to give it a four and a half star review because of how good it was and because there were some mistakes, which I'm getting too now.
When they were saying Kylie's name you should have put it into one sentence instead of separating it into four sentences. Also try avoiding words that end with 'ly', unless it's in the dialogue. Apart from that it was great. Keep writing.
Great story! I loved that he was having those crazy dreams and I only clicked on it because of the title and the sub-heading 'Charon charges one obolos coin for each soul crossing the Styx'. It sounded like it would be about greek mythology, and I am crazy about greek gods, and demigods, so I could not help myself and went on it. I'm glad I did though. However, there were a few mistakes.
You should put some spaces when you go onto a paragraph. When he is wondering if it is all a dream, you put a semi-colon, which should have been a full stop. When he wakes for the second time, you put a comma, which should have been a semi-colon. Still, I liked it. Keep posting.
Great story plot, but far too many mistakes. you repeated 'especially' twice at the beginning. You spelt 'heels' as 'heals'. Instead of saying 'handy', you said 'hand', and I'm afraid to say that was the first paragraph.
On the next paragraph, you didn't do anything wrong, and the third paragraph was perfect and so was the fourth paragraph. However, on the sixth paragraph, you forgot the full stop at the end of the sentence. Also after 'suddenly', you should have put a comma. If you go back through and edit, I'll come back and give another review. Keep posting.
What?? The tree is her father?? That has blown my mind. . I was not expecting it to be her father. I guess that it's quite hard to speak when you are a tree because he sounded like he was struggling. I loved the story, and would read more like this. However, there were some mistakes, which is a shame, because I thought it was amazing.
Anyways, when you were speaking about him swinging the stick, you could have removed the 'while'. It would make it sound much better. When you were speaking about the tree reaching down a branch too pat Avery, you didn't add a comma after 'down'. You also spelt realised wrong. you also repeated 'up' twice, when he was being lifted by the tree. Apart from that it was great. Keep posting.
So I'm guessing that she got with Eros, which would make sense as it is called Eros and Psyche. I really liked it, but there were far too many mistakes. I liked the fact that she would be getting with a god, because that would be amazing. It was a great story line, but now I'll have to get to the things that were bad.
When you were speaking about the sisters hating Psyche, you had repeated 'they'. When you were saying that they mostly stare at her face, you said 'the' instead of 'they'. When you were saying that Aphrodite had been watching Psyche, you forgot to add a comma before her name. Also, you spelled 'Treacherous' wrong. If you go back through to edit it, I'll come back and give another review. Keep posting.
I'm afraid to say that the story had many mistakes, but I liked the story. It was quite funny that it turned out to be his little brother or sister, and I liked the fact that he was running as he thought it was a monster that wanted to eat him. I liked it, but as I said before, there were far too many mistakes that I think you could sort out.
You repeated 'but adrenaline kept him going'. Instead of saying 'It', you put 'IT', which shouldn't have been there. When he got knocked over you added a '\' at the end of sentence. Also, try to avoid words that end with 'ly'. If you can change these around. I'll come back and review it. Keep writing.
Good story, but it sounded more like a poem instead. I still liked it nonetheless. At first, it drew me in and made me want to read on, and I didn't realise that 'in the corner of the room, if you look hard enough, you will find a small, frail girl facing the bare, grey wall' was actually a quote by someone. I liked the story a lot, but I still think it was more like a poem.
There were a few mistakes. 'Moon light' should be changed to 'moonlight' or moon-light'. Apart from that it was good. Keep writing.
The story wasn't bad. I liked the fact that you were explaining how people become werewolves, and I guess you did a fair bit of research on these creatures. I liked the story and the fact that he had to get a human to record his life, since he was one of the wolves. I guess he couldn't hold his werewolf instincts in though, since they found the body of the guy who recorded the wolf's backstory. The dialogue was perfect, but there were some mistakes, that I think you can change up.
Try avoiding words that end with 'ly'. Apart from that I liked it. Keep posting.
That was a great short story. It is a shame that the noun had to die, but at least the other noun came in, and the adjective managed to talk some sense into her. The other noun should have listened to the adjective and he would have been able to survive getting erased and changed. Still, I really liked it, but I do not think that it was a comedy. Instead, it was quite sad, but it was definitely based on writing and a fantasy genre.
Still there were a few mistakes. Avoid using words that end in 'ly'. I think I've told everyone this. Also, cut the dialogue to the bone, so that you can get to your point with less words. Apart from that I liked it. Keep writing.
Wow! that is all I've got to say to that. It is true. Writing does make me feel like that at times. I loved the fact that towards the end she burnt all of her writing, but went back to writing again. It was a great short story, but quite sad at the same time, which I found quite weird. Anyways, it doesn't matter.
When you mentioned her looking at the fire you put a semi-colon, then said 'there were ashes on her dress'. I didn't think it made much sense. Also, try avoiding words that end with 'ly'. Apart from that it was great! Keep writing. .
That was an excellent story. I don't know what else to say except that. I loved it! I have never read something so good. Still, there were a few mistakes, but I will get too that towards the end. Where to start. I was searching through the read and review, when I discovered this story, and seeing the genre and rating, I decided to read.
I did discover some mistakes that stood out, so this will be getting a four and a half star review because of that, but don't take it as me being rude. When you said 'lipgloss' instead of 'lip gloss'. when you said 'down-covered', it should've been 'down covered'. also instead of saying 'were', you said 'we're'. Apart from that it was good.
Maybe he shouldn't have drifted off to sleep, Lol. That was quite funny as well as excellent, and I loved it. It's a shame no one else has given you reviews, because I thought it was amazing even if there were a few mistakes. Anyways, this was a great piece of writing and I hope that it won in the contest. I liked the fact that he dreamt that his parking space was taken, but he woke up in his parking spot.
From what I saw, there was only one mistake. In green, you put 'over' and 'achiever' together. Apart from that it was great. Keep posting.
That was comical. I wasn't expecting it to turn out that he was yelling because of an empty can, and I burst out laughing. At least we now know that he yells a lot. It was a great scene of dialogue, and I think it should get entered in a contest. I'll give it a four and a half star review because there were some mistakes that I noticed.
First thoughts: I can tell that they love each other dearly as they forgive one another after their argument, and I like that.
Now for the mistake. When he was saying that he has to deepen his voice at the end of that sentence, you forgot to add a speech mark. Apart from that I loved it, so keep writing
Good after noon. I have gone onto the 'read and review', and discovered your story, I saw the rating on it and decided to read through. I'm glad that I did. There was a lot of truth in it, as that is what people say and I liked it. It truly was a mix of random thoughts, I realised as I read through, and that is what drew me in even further.
It was sort of like an article on your thoughts and it was amazing. However, there were a few mistakes. When you said 'it feels right to write', you should've added a full stop and capital. when you spoke about Alexander the Great, you should've put it into italics or inside of apostrophes. Also, on the third sentence, you repeat 'wanted' twice. Still it was a great article. Keep writing.
Great story, but very emotional. I felt sorry for Lucy, and I hated the fact that Michael was foolish enough to go there in the first place. I loved the dialogue, and everything about it. I'm surprised no one else reviewed this, because I thought that it was great. I loved the story plot and the fact that the plane came over as Michael was about to die.
However, there were a few mistakes. When you wrote 'lifesaving' you should've changed it to 'life-saving'. Also try to avoid words that end with 'ly'. Great story. Keep posting.
Great story plot, but far too many mistakes. Do not take this the wrong way. I liked the character and the ending of the story, but there were too many mistakes that stood out. Shouldn't 'steal' be 'steel', and shouldn't 'shiningly' be 'shining'? Also, try to avoid any words that end with 'ly', so you can make it sound far better. I'm not going to go into anymore detail, as I am sure you'll be able to find the other spelling mistakes.
Final thoughts: I would be glad to come back and review your story once you've updated it. Until then, keep posting.
That was a great plot, and I loved it! . It was a good start to a story, and I'd be glad to read more if you update it. I don't know why people gave your story such a bad review, because I thought that it was excellent. You left it at a cliffhanger which is a good sign, because it will make people guess what might happen next, and you were showing most of it.
There was one mistake that stood out. instead of saying 'dying', you said 'dieing'. Also try to avoid words that have 'ly' at the end. Keep writing.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.26 seconds at 12:46pm on May 08, 2024 via server web2.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
. I love norse stories and this was great. I have learned a lot about norse mythology, so I know about this tree. It was a great story and I liked the fact that you spoke about every land on Yggdrasil. It was a Great story. Keep writing.
. I was not expecting it to be her father. I guess that it's quite hard to speak when you are a tree because he sounded like he was struggling. I loved the story, and would read more like this. However, there were some mistakes, which is a shame, because I thought it was amazing.
.
. It was a good start to a story, and I'd be glad to read more if you update it. I don't know why people gave your story such a bad review, because I thought that it was excellent. You left it at a cliffhanger which is a good sign, because it will make people guess what might happen next, and you were showing most of it.