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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kenword101/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/13
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712 Public Reviews Given
729 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try my best to read everything on Writing.com with great care. My reviews always include a first impression, my feelings about theme and structure and where appropriate, some thoughts about possible revisions.*Mugr*
I'm good at...
I give my best reviews on stories, poems and articles that hold my interest and stir up my emotions.~~ *Smile*
Favorite Genres
Religious/Spiritual,Romance, Historical, Mystery, Fantasy and Sci-Fi.~~ *Cool*
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica and Vampire/Werewolf/Zombie.
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Poems, Articles and Essays. ~~
Least Favorite Item Types
lessons and puzzles. ^^*Mugr*
I will not review...
Will not review anything with a rating over 18; no horror or erotica.^^*Mugr*
Public Reviews
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301
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Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (4.0)
"I looked into her angel eyes and knew my prayers were answered". What a glorious testimony of perseverance and love, mother for baby, Father for child. God's faithfulness to you is a powerful love story and I don't know if it gets any better thank this. The writing is poignant and clear and chilling as an aside of what the doctor's were talking about speaks to the callousness of the world around us, no matter what our walk in life.

Above all I loved the power of the heartfelt testimony and your writing conveyed well the wonder of the Master's hand and our part to trust and pray. I appreciate your praise to Him in your words.

Blessings,

~Kenword~ *Music2*
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Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (4.0)

First of all I would like to welcome you to Writing.com. This is a great online writing community where I think you will find a great support for your creativity.
 
I love your story. The great thing about it is the characters and the tension that is built before their actual interaction. The build up of expectations is subtle and well done. I enjoyed the read very much.
 

The following review of your work is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a piece in the hopes that the ideas may help and encourage further development. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 

Overall Impression
Linden Gomez is a keeper. Quirky but more “normal” than he would probably want people to believe. He cares about things and the people around him. He is engaged with his peers enough that they found his nod to consumerism (collectibles) funny. And in his heart he has discovered a potential soul mate in Ember.
 
Interest and Pace
The content of the story is extremely interesting because of Linden. He has many layers and flavors that are either visible to the world around him or are intimated by the writer. His collision with Ember is inevitable and the build up to that moment is well done. The pace was positive and energizing keeping the reader moving quickly to the conclusion. I like that.

 
Structure and Clarity
I liked and appreciated the varying length of paragraphs and the pathway feel to the story. I only knew that I was being led somewhere when I actually re-read the story to weigh my feelings and impressions. The descriptors and phrases are clear and help to evoke feeling beyond the usual settings for a scene.
 
Edits
Your writing style and quality are very strong in my opinion. The one concern I had was the weight of the word Goth as a primary description for Linden. We are probably only another generation away from readers not appreciating the complexity of those who were/are “Goths”. You may want to expand the description to give the reader more information of what “Goth” is in terms of clothing, hair, body art, attitudes and culture. It wouldn’t need to be much, just enough to appreciate that quality in Linden’s character. Also in describing Linden I would stick with conventional and unconventional. The term “abnormal” seemed to suggest something about Linden that I didn’t feel was true to character. Unconventional yes, but everything about him seems normal to me.

 
Summary
Again, Linden does it for me. He could be a center-piece in any story and carry the action and plot easily. Ember too is a vibrant living soul the way you have developed her is well done. I would definitely love to read more about how their romance develops.
 
A fun read. Thank you.
 
Have a Creative Day!
 
~Kenword~ *MugR*
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303
Review of Recreating Me  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (3.5)
Chrystal, 
 
First of all I would like to welcome you to the WdC writing community. I am glad that you have joined this wonderful creative forum.
 
It was a real pleasure reading your work and I am glad to give you some impressions I had of your story and a short review of your work.
 
My review of your work is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may help and encourage. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 

Overall Impression
Everything about your work is sparkling and creative. At times there are streams of consciousness that invite the reader (me) to enjoy your life, present, past and future and there are concrete ideas that seem to pop up unexpectedly. These are thinly tied together at times, but enjoyable to read and ponder at the same time.
 
Interest and Pace
The pace of the story is well done. This is my preference. Today I happened to be looking for a story with the pace that you have set and it worked for me. I was interested in the story mainly because I have a daughter about your age and she lived with us while becoming the mom you describe in your story. I will always have a tender spot for the stories of mom’s and their journey to that “I have found freedom!” spot in life.
 
Structure and Clarity
The structure is flawless and it is a strong vital part of what makes your story hold interest, but if the story was to expand, I am afraid the reader would be too aware of the structure and tire. So while the structure is strong it would probably help to interject some real action, scene description of your home and little darlings and some pivitol dialogue. This would challenge the pace of course, but the trade- off would be that the interest would escalate greatly. Since this is a personal story, the actual interactions between your children and your husband will require more vulnerability on your part, but it would open the possibility for more drama, comedy and the vital spice of life.
 
Edits
The only thing I would change grammatically is to decrease the use of exclamation points. Your vocabulary is beautiful and intelligent and more than able to carry the reader into the place of being excited with you. I would reserve the exclamation point to conversations that occur between two or more people and even then use them sparingly. Of course this is not my rule, and believe me I do break it quite a lot.
 
Summary
As an autobiographical story, you have captured the realities of being a young mom in America. What you have pictured transcends the decades. My mom, and her mom, all had similar experiences. I grimace to think at some of the whirlwind conversations my wife and I had at this very time in our own husband/wife/parent marriage in our thirties. There was a lot of spice.
 
I enjoyed your story very much and look forward to reading more of your work. Again welcome to the neighborhood.
 
Have a Creative Day!
 

~Kenword~ *MugR*
 
304
304
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (3.0)
It was a real pleasure reading your work and I am glad to give you some impressions I have of your story and a short review of your work.
 
My review is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may be of some help and encourage further thought about what has been created. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 
Overall Impression
Anisa is a beautiful, quality character with the power and strength to be central to the story you are developing. The action is fairly well laid out and given a steady hand one could do some strong editing to the chapter to make it penetrate the reader’s soul.
 
Interest and Pace
The pace is just how I like it. It is quick and pushed forward by not dwelling too long on the surroundings or the minor elements. Fear, mystery, hospitals, ambulances, EMTs and taxi drivers, these are all character elements that set up interest in a story for me.
 
Structure and Clarity
The structure is linear and easy to follow. A path is set and the course goes forward clearly and the motivation of the different characters, especially Anisa, is true to life and well done.
 
Edits
There are some grammatical challenges but I think those are minor issues that can be addressed easily on a rewrite. My one concern is the dialogue with the taxi driver. I would eliminate a lot of his interaction with Anisa, or describe him more completely and give him stronger dialogue. He could be more over the top in his kindness or gruffer about her emotions or more of a busy body, but my feeling of him right now is he is in the way and I would rather see more of Anisa. This observation is just my perspective of course and just a suggestion to be judged by you the writer.
 
Summary
The Bible verse on love read by Anisa in the middle of the chapter is well integrated into the story and I appreciate how the verses affect her as the story progresses. Characters that are motivated to act on the truth are dear to my heart and speak to the need in the soul of mankind for the power of hope, faith and peace that only comes from God the Father.
 
I enjoyed reading your story very much and feel that it is the start of a solid work of fiction. Thank you for a wonderful read.
 
Have a Creative Day!
 
~Kenword~ *MugR*
 
305
305
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Christine,

I like your story and find it to be a very engaging tale. Certainly a good start to something more complex.

My review of your work is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may be a help and encourage further thought about your story. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.

Overall Impression

I enjoyed the main character of the story. Phrases like "parent's rambling" "what could my brother possibly want" and "knowing that I was way too tired" give me a picture and a feeling about the girl in the story that she is young and views the world in a casual somewhat careless way and can't wait to be on to the next things. Sort of an unspoken impatience.

Interest and Pace

A lot of ground is covered in less than a thousand words. Target, food, practice, more food, hangining out, bonfire etc. I like the overall pace of the story and it definitely held my interest. The one drawback is that at the end of the story I know a lot has happened but I'm still too distant from your people. You could focus on one or two other people in your story and draw them out more completely. It would be ok for the chapter to be longer - but with more color, sound,smell and taste.

Structure and Clarity

Every paragraph is well written and extremely clear. With the structure and tone working together I feel the energy of youth and gain a wonderful perspective of men and women who are coming to the age of leaving home.

Edits

The only revision I would suggest is to start the story right in the middle where the girl is meeting the team with the food. The rest of how she got there and can be reflected on later. But getting the most action in the first two paragraphs would really set up how the story is going to "burst out of the blocks" later.

Summary

I think this the great bones to a wonderful story. I love the fact that the main character is fully engaged with sports and the men who have it at the center of their lives. It makes it a very good read for me.

Thanks for sharing your gift and your wonderful story.

Have a Creative Day!

~Kenword~ *MugR*
306
306
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"I text the boy." I love that! The tone, style and flavor of your story is absolutely glorious. I smiled all the way through the read, tickled by the interaction of mom to son. I've seen my daughter actually in similar engagements with her boy and it cracks me up every time, though I don't laugh out loud.

The texting interactions are some of the best descriptions of this centuries' most curous phenomena I've ever read, and your vision of the madness and anxiety of it all made me shiver.

Thanks for a very fun read. I wouldn't change a thing.

Have a Creative Day!{b/}{c/}

~Kenword~ *MugR*
307
307
Review of The Big Day  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (3.5)
First of all let me welcome you to Writing.com. I hope you find the tools and support here that will help you grow as a writer and communicator.


Regarding your piece, thank you for this great picture of getting into the power of competition. Your grammar, word choice and syntax are perfect and I trust you have great skills in that area. Your style is easy to read and follow and the images are true and reasonable.

As a beginning to something, this piece has great potential. It opens the questions: "Who are you really?" "What were the personal triumphs?" "How much back story is there to the day of the event?" "Who were the major players and what were their individual victories?" "Who did not have your experience of the event and where are they at the conclusion?"

This is by no means a criticism, only excitement about what you have outlined and the many ways you may expand the story.

Again, thanks for sharing your talent and gift and I hope you have a continued great experience in this incredibly creative venue as you increase your portfolio.

~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
308
308
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I am amazed to see how much development you accomplished in just a few words. Well done. It is clear to see that Jenny is her own person and that Hank is developing skills in the arena of single parenting. I thought that being busted in the attempt at parental fabrication was hysterical while giving his daughter a knew perspective of fact and invention.

This is a story that has great potential beyond the constraints of the contest and would probably be well worth expanding.

Enjoyed your story very much.

Cheers!

~Kenword~
309
309
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This is good writing with plenty of room for expansion into an action piece or mystery story.

I'm surer you wil be able to take a number different avenues with the story. Ana is a fascinating character and has the potential of making a good connection with your readers.

There are a couple of changes you may want to consider to the story. Most of this is my opinion and preference so please feel free to take what seems to be on track and discard the rest.

The paragraph after Ana commands the driver to go faster is filled with character defining words. Where you write "Her full lips tight with perseverance, if her brows furrowed any more I was sure she was going to give herself an aneurysm, quite a feat in someone so young. “You should slow down,” she breathed." I would suggest changing the structure by making the first phrase a complete sentence: "Her full lips were tight with perseverance." and then "If her brows..." as a complete sentence.

It also seems that the ".our targets motorciycle..." would need to be "..our target's motorcycle."

This is a preference for my reading style, and again take what you want from this, but you might consider shortening some of the paragraphs. For instance in the second paragraph it would be easy to break it into two right between "...sliding into my back seat." and "I rotated in my seat..." It will give the reader some white space in a natural place and vary the length of the blocks of words between the first paragraph and fourth paragraph.

I hope these thoughts will be of help as you continue to develop your story.

Thanks for sharing your gift and story.

~Kenword~
310
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Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you Harry for your wonderful poem.

I find the rythm and images complelling and I am drawn into the story comfortably.

I like that "Of Butterflies and Fireflies" is about memories. Boyhood memories are strong and putting insects in jars was more than a passtime it was a mission.

Each line of your poem builds naturally and the concluding questions are dramatic as well as disturbing.

My grandson has gone from searching nature for knowledge and entertainment to a virtual world that comes to him on a flat panel device that takes more than it gives.

Thank you for the memories and the beauty with which you have captured them and the challenge in your final thoughts to be watchful of what we have and what we are passing on.

~Kenword~
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311
Review of Golden Rule  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (3.5)
Well 50's Child, it sounds as though you have ascended to a place of great contentment. Being able to act on the values of those who invested life into us is great contentment with out apology.

I liked your essay very much and I think if you wanted to develop this into a piece about relationships or a training manual for retail employees it would be excellent and well received. I'm sure you have many wonderful examples of how this "Golden Rule" works in the real world and I bet they would be entertaining as well.

One quick word change: I believe you meant "gist" instead of "jest".

Overall a good read and I appreciate your perspective.

Thanks,

Kenword
312
312
Review of Non-believer  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (3.5)
Kaylee,

I appreciate the honesty and openess in your piece. The words sting and penetrate the shields I put up to protect myself from the grief that is expressed all around me. I can feel your sorrow and pain and your expression is good for the soul.

I hope that you are finding a place to express your search for love that may transcend your experience right now. Many writers do. Even in strong marriage with nurturing love types there is the deep lonelieness and hollow experiences in the soul. Maybe that's why witters dream of a utopia or a paradise, where soul hunger doesn't eat the person alive.

Keep writing. Writers garner a love to themselves that may be more fulfilling than a flesh and blood prince who after all is only designed to love me the way I want to be loved. That's probably the biggest fantasy of all.

~Kenword~
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313
Review of World's End  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (3.5)
Who could not help but love Mary? I like where your story is headed and it has a vibrant pace and wit about it that is very engaging. I especially like the images of the street and the urban pulse that is evident in the things you have chosen to include in the background.

The contrast of working at home in a diner and going to college in a big metropolitan college is great. Only in America is the range of options so extreme!

Thanks for sharing your writing.

~Kenword~
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Review of Meet New Writer  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Anthony.

First of all let me say welcome to the Writing.com Community. I apprecate your honest and direct approach to introducing youreslf to the community and look forward to reading more of your contributions in the future.

I like the structure and emphasis of your biography. It hits the highlights with just enough personal revelation to leave me wondering. While it is not fiction, your style of writing has a nice easy, comptemplative quality to it that I find pleasing and satisfying and I think would work well in just about any genre of writing.

One grammatical omission I would note, only because it jumps out, in the paragraph about the "The Vibrant Village Podcast", I believe it should read: "I am co-host of "The Vibrant Village Podcast."

Regarding your desire to become a better writer I would say that you have come to the right place. You will read it often here and I will gladly support the concept - read a lot of the work that is done here and review, review, review. The downside (or upside if you have the time) is you may become obsessed with being in this community and find yourself, reading, writing and meditating on your creations more than you ever have in your life!

Again, welcome to the community of writing.com and thank you for sharing your life.

~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Life Preserver  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well done. Excellent writing with some very gripping moments. I especially love the build up to the door knob. The dawning that something was on the other side that would change their lives forever was right at the right moment for me. The picture of a wife who is desperately done with shielding her husband is exquisite in every way. Thanks for sharing your gift and talent. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wonderfully intriguing story. There is a lot here that flirts with the mind and triggers anxious feelings. Your Rachael hanging onto the rails was gripping and real. I used to work for a cruise line and I always was suspicious about how it could be all about fun and not have the least little bit of terror attached to it. I think you found it. The realization that it was all a dream seems a bit abrupt. Maybe having voice coming up from somewhere out of the water sounding like her dad and since she is damp maybe use that to make the reader ensconced in more of the dream sequence. Just some thoughts. Very well done overall though and I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for sharing your gift and story. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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317
Review of The First King  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Thanks for the great story. First of two of my favorite books in the bible. Your narrative is familiar in that a Bible teaching organization taught me how to use the narrative in teaching children. Its a lot more difficult than people realize and you handle it masterfully, not that yours is rated for children, only the tone and the flow remind me of the training I received. The ficitonal additions seem to work well. I think for historical fiction I would add a few more fictional elements to counter balance what is actually written in scripture, especially since so many paraphrase Bibles have retold the story in modern language. Just a thought. Its perfectly the wonderful the way you have created it and I'm sure the elements that unfold will make this a powerfule novel.

Thanks for sharing your gift and talent. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Desire  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Jane Wells from Hopland. She was gorgeous. We were both 15. She didn't know my name. You wrote down every feeling I had my sophmore year as I tried to invent ways to connect with her. I was a band geek and a friend of all girls. But she was a goddess guarded by every member of the football team. Sterotypical I suppose but I died daily that year. I was captured by how well you wrote about the soul of the obsessed young soul. This sketch could be the core of something very powerful.

Thanks for sharing your talent and gift. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
319
319
Review of Island Found  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (3.5)
I love the island. The couple you describe is alive in the soul of every man I think. And the despair some find is that the dream is never fulfilled. Giving us the experience through your words is a great blessing and I appreciate the work you have done here. From here the man and woman can come into focus and we can learn who they are or a man who has lost at love can suddenly appear and begin to express his pains and his own personal struggle to find such a relationship as what he has just witnessed. Great possibilities.

Thanks for sharing your talent and gift. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of useless  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a good beginning. There is a lot of area for expansion with the details that would press the feelings and challenges into the open. I feel the drama between the object of love and the force that is plotting to take it all away. I appreciate the nuance between what is right now and the power that alter the future forever. I also like the image of "useless" to contrast what "is" against that which "won't be" if the power to end it all has its way. I appreciate your work her and encourage you to add to the scene the details that could give one the sounds, smells, tastes of this experience.

Thanks for sharing your talent and gift. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
321
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Review of Project 81  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Good creation of an end of life scene. I can appreciate how hard it is to imagine through all the possibilities of encountering the end of life so brutally and honestly. I feel the monster's presence as the awareness that there is no rescue dawns on the protectors. It is the quickness of the finality that keeps me on the edge expecting something different in the end than the inevitable. Thanks for sharing your gift and talent. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like how you share your feelings. An open to the possibilities of not being alone type of hermit. I get that. I appreciate your openess and candor and like the flow of your thoughts as they are written out. To incorporate a news item into the pain of your daily expectations and disapointments of life is wonderfully clever and I sense the powers at work within you to push back against the forces that would keep you down. You have a gift and I know it will grow in beauty as you continue to write.

Thanks for sharing your gift. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
323
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Review of Cold Coffee  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well written and my favorite kind of story Tim. Real life and real moments are core to my favorite fiction and what you have captured here is eternal to those who have developed strong, loving relationships in their marriage. I love the pace of the story. It is like participating in the day itself. Not everyone will appreciate the values you are describing and revealing here, but those of us who have lived a few of those moments are delighted to visit and revisit through the eyes and words of a quality writer. Superbly done.

Thank you for sharing ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
324
324
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I like your story very much. "She ran into the storm, letting the rain erase her tracks." I love that line. Girl or wolf, I sense Storm's anguish at being at odds with the world. It is easy to walk with you and your Storm and I like how easy it is to be comfortable with the character you have created. The easy pace makes the story come together for me and I can believe in Storm, that she is a creature both of a human world and a wolf world. Nicely done.

Thanks for sharing your wonderful story. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
325
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Review of Apple on Eden  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nicely done. Wonderful flow and the words are stark and yet fanciful. The coarseness of a future without any improvement in morals or subtlity is amusing and thought provoking. Adam is intriquing and offers many future possibilities as a nobleman and the Lucy is obviously beyond her 16 years. The pithy dialogue keeps the future tagged to the present nicely and who doesn't love three thugs on a train. I love the fact they're salesmen. The guy who sold me my new insulated windows could have been one of them.

Thanks for a sweet ride. ~Kenword~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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