This is a nice interactive. You choose a great time period placing it between the turmoil period between episodes 3 and 4. It's a good setup and allows for the Empire to be at fun strength and classic villains such as Darth Vader and Palpatine to be able to take center stage in this. The interactive is pretty well developed with several chapters and authors contributing to it. There are a lot of familiar faces from the Star Wars universe as well as Original characters giving the readers and writers of this interactive to play with. I hope that you continue to build it.
That is a busy life you are describing having three jobs to handle. It is also a very wide range of roles. I can relate to the juggling and can understand why you would prefer to jettison one of them. This was a nice entry. It seems to follow the prompt well. Best wishes in 2024 and hope that you are able to find the balance that you would like.
I love cool test items. That is a really neat feature. That cat trinket looks very cute. If I am understanding the item correctly, if my review for this reaches 250 characters something with this trinket will happen. I am curious to see what will occur. It is very exciting like watching a countdown!!
Nice story. It feels like a lead in to comedic spy plot. It definitely had a great hook with the narrator receiving mysterious notes.
There are a couple of proof reading errors that you might want to update:
cabins air conditioner - cabin's air conditioner (Possessive)
steak-out - should be Stake out (steak is used for the food)
Was this some type of shady deal going on - should have a question mark at the end
waiters suit - should waiter's suit.
The plot of the short is really exciting as it had a mystery in it. I love the surprise ending. I can't blame the narrator for continuing to be curious. I'm left wondering “piter pypur puked a pek of pikeld peepers” was intended to mean and wanting to follow the mysterious. I feel like the premise of this story could be expanded further into a larger arc. There is definitely room to continue the story further if you wanted to and I would enjoy reading more of it but it works very well on a short of its own. Really fun writing!!
Nice poem. I like the title. Right off the bat it reviews an image. The description in this poem is really good. I love the description of her hair as Caramel with Vanilla strands. There are some great choices of works. For example using words like elf, leprechaun, fairies add magical quality to the subject of this poem.
There is a fairly smooth flow to reading this as loose rhyme a little bit of reading to it. The poem itself is great. I also really like the brief description given for the poem. It is nice to know that you took inspiration from your actual life Beautiful writing!!
Good poem. It definitely paints some powerful images. It is particular strong with the sounds depicted playing to to the readers auditory sense with the titular bells, car horns and electronic music discussed. There are some great visual queues as well describing the world as a concrete jungle, traffic and clubs. It makes the reader feel like they are a traveling through a busy city when they are reading this. I like the "Somewhere in the world" refrain.
The ending of this poem seemed to be really sweet with the bells still reflecting in the narrator's heart. It seems to show the narrator still religious connection to them as the bells were linked with the church in the beginning. It is a nice symbolic element.
There may be one slight edit that I recommend. "Deafen by car horns" seems a little awkward. It feels like the tense is off you might want to edit the word to "Deafened". Other then that... great poetry.
Very cool premise. Fairy Tail has a lot of fun characters so it is a good anime to chose to write about. Swapping is a fun concept as it is interesting to see characters take on different roles. There are a nice variety of swaps suggested to give the story some range. All of them offer some wild ideas. I like the idea of a life swap. It seems like a fresh concept that has not been done before
This interactive is just starting out so it has a lot of growing to do. I hope you continue to develop it with other authors. It seems to be developing nicely though with chapter 7 (the latest at the time I was reading this) setting up the first storyline nicely.
One quick editing recommendation:
In the title description it seems like there's a slight spelling error. -> boardm -> board
Other than that... keep up the great writing and best of luck with this story.
(Note I Re-reviewed to set it as a public sorry about the double e-mail.^_^; )
This is a good interactive. I love Yugi-oh so its a fun idea. The series has a great fantasy world. It was a smart move to divide up your story by seasons. The chapters available are also very well developed and written out. It makes the reader feel like they are part of the Yugi-oh world. I give a lot of credit to you for actively working to make your interactive grow and add a ton of additions to your story. A lot of interactive owners neglect to add to
I hope you eventually add arcs from the last season. That was the most exciting one for me when Bakura traps them in Ancient Egypt. It would make for a really exciting storyline.
One thing I strongly recommend is when adding new choices to title the chapter. Don't just leave the default continue choice as a title. It is much easier to navigate the story outline if people can see what title they are navigating to.
Anyway... really great work with this interactive and I hope it continues to develop and grow.
This is very good poem. It reminds me of the classic poem "Paradise Lost" as the subject of the poem seems to be a fallen Angel. I like the contrast between the third and last stanza of this poem. The first is all light while the last deals with shadows.
There are some really nice refrains and I like how the Angel is called to in the beginning of each stanza and there is a note on the character's current state beginning with "Oh, how..." for each Stanza ending line. There is also clear awareness of the syllable count of each line as each as they match up correctly in each stanza. It makes this poem so much smoother to read.
The verbal description is very good. You can picture the the three phases the Angel in this story goes through really well.
There appears to be a slight typo in the first line of the final Stanza. I think the word should be Stricken
Nicely Crossword. Great set of creative clues and WDC related words. It definitely targets the Writing.com audience. I am surprised I was able to solve this one through especially with the member clues. It means I've been on this site way too long. The most challenging one was "A few words Here and There"... Poem didn't immediately come to mind. I really enjoyed taking this. Excellent puzzle!!
This short story describes a moment really well making it very easy to visualize. I feel like I am in the car with Terry. As the snow is falling around her. The 3 paragraphs describe a lot learning where the character works and what interests. It could be a good lead in for a larger story. It seems to end very abruptly but it is enough to showcase a strong writing style and the ability to depict a scene. With class exercises, it would be interesting to know if there was a prompt to get a sense of the goal behind the short scene. Even if the assignment is freestyle I feel it would help the reader appreciate this piece more. You may consider adding an author's note section at the bottom describing this.
These are good suggestions. You may want to include some tips on how interactives are setup. One of the most important things when setting up the interactive early on is to choose the options carefully. The first chapters have more options then later chapters so it is important to take advantage of them early. Don't waste choices by adding only 2 options in Chapter 1.
Another thing to keep in mind as an owner is you have to be willing to add to your interactive. The rate of return is low. People will add 1 chapter to a story for every 5 you put in. It is important not to be discouraged.
I love the 4th and 5th recommendations. It is always better to write with a friend and planning is always a great idea.
The comedy is strong with this one. Though its advertised as a lousy poem. It seems to be 5 minutes well spent and definitely made me smile. You managed to even fit in a rhyme scheme.
Some of the rhymes feel like they are so bad they are good i.e. grudge-l. I admire the bravery in using them.
For poetry I recommend keeping track of the syllable count to make your work pop out more. Example cutting the syllables down in line 8 would make it sound better i.e. "her cudgel went straight for my head" though that may take more time to think through.
Also a really nice touch listing Gothic and Horror/Scary as the Genre. It made it so much more funnier when I found out what the poem was actually about. Well Done!
First off I really like the title. It gives a nice visual image to the reader almost immediately and made me want to view its contents right away. This is a very complex poem leaving the reader to follow a story going through the stanzas. It really does an excellent job capturing the emotions of the narrator. As a reader I got the sense that she settled in an unhappy marriage. I can't tell if the lover she is dreaming of has passed away or has just gone down a different path than the narrator.
The dreams described give some vivid visual images of a life that could have been. I think there some powerful images revealing the narrator's hopes/laments such as the house shopping and the wedding band. It gives me a sense of sadness while reading it.
In terms of style the poem has a soft flow to it with a light rhyme scheme that makes it easier for the reader to enjoy. It is a really good poem that I enjoyed reading.
I think I read this story awhile back when you first shared it but I never reviewed it originally. This is a great story and it was an interesting twist having Soi Fong from Bleach become Naruto Godmother. The story was described very well and captured the essence of the characters depicted. I think Anime fans will recognize that characters personalities as their portrayal isn't wildly different from how they normally act in their anime. Soi Fon in particular seems very much like her character. This was an exciting read with some fast action scenes. The story works well as a short but as I mentioned over e-mail, it does leave the possibility open for a continuation in the future. It is interesting to look back at this story considering it was written before the anime ending.
One slight editing recommendation in the story description at the top Naruto's father should be spelled Minato.
I can relate to the frustrations voiced in this entry a lot. I wish I was able to write more and at a much quicker pace. Sometimes I feel like there are not enough hours in the day. The fact that you are even attempting Nanowrimo is impressive. I am nowhere near ready to take on such a task.
I feel this entry covers the prompt it was written for very nicely capturing a sentiment that a lot of people (especially on this site can relate to) really well.
Congratulations on completing I Write enter the second decade as well.
I am a big science fiction fan as well and love to believe that the chances of life in the universe is good. In one of my Astronomy courses in college it was required to read two books Rare Earth and Here Be Dragons the search for extraterrestrial life in the universe that argued opposite points of whether sentient life on other planets was possible. You make a good argument that the sheer amount of galaxies and planets leaves a lot of possibilities for sentient life out there. It is a nice thought provoking article that tackles the prompt that it was written for really well.
This is another great article with a lot of really interesting information. It is really fascinating that the Nyoongar people separated that area cycles into 6 seasons that way. They seemed to take dryness into account. It is very sad that the land was destroyed like that and has never fully recovered.
In terms of the writing itself. This is a very well written article. It a very specific prompt that was given and this article covers the topic perfectly drawing on the writer's own experience and research and described in a way that grabs readers' attention and educates them.
My political knowledge is limited so I wasn't familiar with Julia Gillard prior to this. I watched the accompanying speech in the comments... she is a powerful speaker. I am from the United States where there is a lot of frustration with our current politicians who are in a political deadlock. It is interesting to see Australian politics are similarly divided. Your analysis of the Me Too movement's effect on politics is accurate where there are noticeable changes but there is still a lot that of growth needed. An example in the U.S. that was in the relatively recent news is one of our political representatives Alexandra Ocasio Cortez speaking on the issue after being referred to with a sexist slur by another representative. There are some changes that are there but it is really clear that there is also much that could be improved.
I think this article captures the prompt it was written for really well. Best of luck with the contest.
Very informative article. Bunja (Bunga? Bunya? guessing multiple ways to spell it) pine is new to me. It seems really interesting and the description and trivia makes it seem like something that is tempting to taste. The recipe sounds very good as well. It seems within my limited cooking ability to make. If I can find the key ingredient... maybe I will give it a try. Thank you very much for sharing this information and recipe.
Nice Poem. It is a good combination of rhymes and emoticons. The latter of which were picked perfectly for this. It seems to fit with the Creature Feature theme it was created for quite nicely and captures the spirit and traits of the animal it focuses on really well. There is a nice ABCB rhyme scheme going on in the poem. It had a good rhythm to it and the syllable count seemed close making it fun to read through. Thank you for writing. ^_^
I just want to thank you for putting together an amazing adventure GERVIC 🐉 WDC Dragon Vale. This was really well done and I had a lot of fun participating in it. Even when I was scrambling towards the end to finish this in time I was having a blast completing this. The presentation for this was amazing. The way that the worlds were set up were very well done with some beautiful artwork and images linking the works together. I really loved the interludes that that fairy trinkets provided as we completed the adventures and the trinkets we received were a great reward for being able to complete each activity. They really inspired me to dive right into the next segment upon completing a task.
In terms of the activities themselves, the designs/theme for were really good and they offered the perfect level of challenge giving the people participating in this a sense of accomplishment upon making it through them without being too frustrating. I feel like I am a stronger writer having gone through this adventure. Once again thank you for making this and if there is a second season of this, I hope to be able to go through it again.
Very creative interpretation of the prompt. This story had dark comedic feel to it. A voodoo priestess is definitely not someone that readers would expect to see getting asked to accept a return. I have to admit I'm left wondering what the lead character was hoping for purchasing the curse in the first place. I'm wondering what the initial interaction was though it is clear there was a poor choice of words involved.
Anyway this is a great creative, clear and concise story that is told in the limited amount of words that Micro fiction allows. Nice writing!
Nicely written! The dialogue is a strong way to present a story and it is very effective in the first half. The motivations of the two characters talking to one another were very clear. We had one character about to do something dangerous and the other trying to talk the first character out of it. It was an exciting hook.
I had difficulty understanding what was happening in the second half of this... when the quotations around the dialogue began disappearing beginning with: ...so why bother? Was the lack of quotes meant to mean that the line was communicated through the character's mind.
It seemed like a god intervened.
The computer lines were also confusing as well and I couldn't quite get what they meant. My best guess is that the characters were inside a simulation set on repeat doomed to repeat the events.
I don't know if this is a completed story yet but if it is still being developed I recommend trying to clarify what is happening in the second half of the story if you are not already in the process of updating it. It would make the story a lot stronger. I give this story 5 stars based on the strong opening but it seems like it still may need some work.
I love this blurb. As a huge fan of the fantasy genre, I would definitely love to read this story. I know some Celtic myths and the ones I read are very entertaining. It seems like it has a lot of things that I would enjoy... dragons, shapeshifters mermaids and fairies.
It really is a great hook that pulls in the reader. I think readers would be very excited to see the novel this was written for from this synopsis. I will be on the lookout for the Brownies of Velmoran trilogy in the future. Thank you very much for sharing this.
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It is very exciting like watching a countdown!!
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Nice Poem. It is a good combination of rhymes and emoticons. The latter of which were picked perfectly for this. It seems to fit with the Creature Feature theme it was created for quite nicely and captures the spirit and traits of the animal it focuses on really well. There is a nice ABCB rhyme scheme going on in the poem. It had a good rhythm to it and the syllable count seemed close making it fun to read through. Thank you for writing. ^_^