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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kittymae
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68 Public Reviews Given
68 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of In This Moment  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (3.0)
Good name choice. I was able to feel your mood.

Punctuation would help the reader keep your rhythm.

Watch out for minor errors that could affect your reader enjoyment: Line 7: "your" consider changing to "you're".

Keep writing
2
2
Review of Nightmares  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Great writing. You had me hooked from the start.

The twist at the end makes for a great plot'

Favorite line: "He cried deeply when he remembered Eric asking him to stay the night. He had reluctantly declined because of work the next morning." the classic self blaming.

Thanks for sharing
3
3
Review of Blind Date  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nice. Short but says alot, I like it.

Line 7 has some kinks that need smoothing:-

"I wished I've kept my big mouth shut,it would had saved me some pain!"

3rd word you used "i've" consider " I had"

11th word you used "had" consider "have"

Overall the piece is good.
4
4
Review of love  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Job. I enjoyed it.

Grammar:- Punctuate the piece and you will score even higher.

You used "your" meaning ownership (line 6)

Consider "you're" meaning you are.
5
5
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good job. This piece has passion and says alot.

My favorite, the last line;-

"Love is all we really need,
Not lust nor hate nor anger nor greed".

Keep writing alive.
6
6
Review of Perception  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love it, truly profound food for thought.

Your question I am sure, had intellectuals and writers ponderung over their life time.

I think In a nutshell you are asking;

If insight is based on fact, who/what describe the authenticity of nothingness?

I do not have an answer to your question but I think it is great writing.
7
7
Review of Creature  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good job. Keep writing alive
8
8
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great writing. Love contents, layout and the message. Thanks for sharing your work
9
9
Review of The payment  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Like it
10
10
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (2.5)
Fair. I like the fact that you are writing. Keep it up.
11
11
Review of LOVE EXISTENCE  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good. Keep writing alive
12
12
Review by kittymae
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Tear Jerker,...... I love it. Keep writing alive
13
13
Review of song  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (3.0)
Good Job. Still you left me hanging, I wanted more.
14
14
Review of whats beauty  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Great topic. Your use of questions offered lots of information. You got the reader involved by making them think. Good Job
15
15
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like it. Keep writing
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16
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good flow and rhythm. keep writing
17
17
Review of Desires..  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like it. Keep writing.

If you decide to edit the piece, try the following:-

Pay more attention to the rhythm and flow.

Try comparing syllable count in each line to the same position in each stanza. e.g. Stanza 1, line 1 (syllable count 13) to Stanza 2, line1, (count11) etc.

Visual is better if the line count in each stanza were the same. Except for the first, with 6 lines all other count 4. Bottom heavy is easier to accept. It does not need to be perfect just closer.

The second periods (.) in every other line, should be commas (,) or just open.
18
18
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (3.0)
Heartfelt. Keep writing
19
19
Review of For What You Are  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good. Keep writing
20
20
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good job. Keep writing
21
21
Review of Torn Faces  
Review by kittymae
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Like your topic. Many of your readers can relate to the content, which make for good reading. good job. Keep writing
22
22
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Love your writing
23
23
Review of I Want To Be Free  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love it. I am new to writing, but I have been reading for a long time. Good job.
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24
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good. I like it.
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25
Review of More Than Metal  
Review by kittymae
Rated: E | (4.5)
True! True! True!
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