I enjoyed your story. I love the Concept. Wouldn't change. Found a few misspells. Magical, fairy, don't need "the" in most the isolated people or before the word most. Hope it helps
Awesome piece. It kept me on my sit.It shows a side of human nature we try not to think of. Death. And hell something we try to ignore. Not sure why you complained about your spelling. Didn't find any errors. Keep up the great work.
excellent. Absolutely agree. I work at a local hs and the words these kids use would make her pull her hair out or want to kick their butts and straighten them out. I wish she could. lol.
Lol. So very true. I miss the days when you write a letter, mail it and you wait maybe unpatiently wait for a reply. Sending an ecard doesn't seem to mean the same. to me anyway. enjoyed your piece very much. my daughter said can we give you a 10 star. so here's your ten star rating. 10*
The piece is well written, and I did not find any errors at all. I myself am the black sheep of the family, but was fortunate enough to meet my soul mate. Now almost 30 years ago, married 24 years, 25 this July. Two wonderful kids. My wish is for all us black sheeps' to eventually find the one for us and never feel unwanted again. I enjoyed your writing.
I enjoyed your piece. I love how you explore the deeper meaning of the words we use and write everyday. I totally agree with your summation. I only found one minor mistake, but it is very common to make this mistake with these two words.
the word TOO_ "Bring us too a whole new world should be "TO" not too. I make the same mistake all the time. Keep on writing. I love reading actual books too.....
Hi Everett. I truly enjoyed your story. I found the piece written quite well. The flow was great. I look forward to reading more of your story. I only found two parts which I think you should double check if you want. This is only my opinion, you can use my suggestions or not, definitely up to you.
The part where Viduus asked to come in the house. The old man answered, "course a course", which I am confused by. Did you mean to put of course?
They and their chairs doesn't sound right. But maybe something like "The two and their chairs" or Their chairs and them.
Again this is only suggestions on my part.
Hope it helped you. Please let me know when you have added more to your story. I love it>>>>>>
I would like to request assistance with upgrade. Unfortunately I got hurt at work this and am out of work for 6 week. I will not have the money to pay for upgrade myself
Ty
Awesome story. Very inspirational. I'm 48 now and would like to go back and finish college. ty for the info and inspiration. Going to check out the college website. right now. Thanks again.
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