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426
426
Review of The Gift  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
even though I love poetry, I'm not a pro- so take what you can use and leave the rest. lol I had a bit of trouble with the meter, but that could just be me. lol I did try counting syllables but that isn't a sure way of finding if the rhythm is right on. The commas made me pause like in music, so that may be why the rhythm problems.

I like how you rhymed the first two lines, not the pat, passe choices either. Great!

This was a very nice spiritually uplifting poem, I love the resurgance of hope and faith. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

Love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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427
427
Review of My Memories  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
'Im not a pro at poetry, even though I love it and write it. So take what you can use and pitch the rest.

At first I thought it was for a deceased person since you were 'old' but you ended it with me thinking not. There are some passe rhymes 'love/above that I think if were redone could be even better.--
No other can give you a love as sweet--and rhyme the sweet. It's just a suggestion.
You also have 'sweet' in two sentences next to each other, you might want to reconsider that if you want it polished.

You kept the rhyme all the way through and the meter, great!

This is a sweet tribute and any woman would be proud to have this written for her. Thanks so much for sharing with us.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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428
428
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
okay, so i totally didn't get the poem. It said innards gone but you had a heart, that threw me, lol

You mentioned the insane asylum and so I thought maybe it was about a person in an asylum but then there was the comma and 'my torso'.

Then I though it was just a poem listing a ll the creepy and icky scary stuff associated with halloween. lol

So if the point was to get icky gooey stuff in, you did well. lol I liked the last two sentences tying in with the beginning

thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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429
429
Review of Is This Death?  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a very intense poem. The short sentences help to give the reader your sense of urgency and I actually felt my heart beating faster and my breathing came in short breaths. Good Job of getting the emotion across. You pulled me in and held me.

I felt it was interesting that you went from fearing the crowd to fearing being alone. I've had panic attacks but not like this. Mine are usually from deadlines and words counts.

Again, nicely done. Thanks for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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430
430
Review of Sometimes  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I think everyone feels the way you said in your poem at one time or another. There are many disabled here at WDC and in case this relates to you, we support each other.

I can understand your pain and dispare in your poem. I am sorry that you are enduring it, or hopefully have passed through it.

I do have three suggestions to make, which you can pitch or ponder as you ponder them. When speaking of God, Him is always capitalized.

Number 2: This would be easier to read if it were seperated into verses.

The other one is just a personal thing with me, rhyming love and above is a bit passe, You may want to see if you can rework that little bit and put the word love in the middle of the sentence and rhyme with something else...

Sometimes though for love I seek
No reason can I find
Why God would withhold from me
what could heal my soul and mind

That is just a suggestion. You may use it if you wish. I am NOT a pro.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I enjoyed it.

Love, LinnAnn Pike
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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431
431
Review of Both Sun And Moon  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a very sad and depressing poem, you evoked my deeper feelings very well. I am not a pro, so, at least to me, this was pretty good.

There were a few little mistakes and a couple of puzzlers.
Your first verse uses 'before,' and at first I thought it ment the days before the person, as in future. After rereading I got it.

Second verse, first line--smile upon a frown--did that mean smiling at someone elses frown, or smiling right after frowning?

"Than fall beneath--Then fall"

I'm not sure if the last line is figurativly emotional death, or if it's a hint of future suicide. Either way it was very emotional and heart rending. I do hope the heartache wasn't your's in real life. If so, I do hope you are healing.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

Love, LinnAnn Pike
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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432
432
Review of Ain't she my kin  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm not a pro, so I don't know if this is a particular style or not. Take what you can and pitch the rest. lol

I have to say, this poem seems to be raw and in it's most emotional and basic form. I like it and the way you point out all of the different aspects of mother earths ways of caring for us. I happen to believe in a heavenly Mother, but can see where you are coming from.

Your last line, reminded me of how I feel when I see the mountains and what little there is of the glaciers that used to cover them all.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

Love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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433
433
Review of September  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
ooooh, I gotta say I am impressed! People often write those kinds of poems with just words. However you strung them together so beautifully. You caught my attention and held it.

I like how you used 'September' in the first and last line, but changed it enough with the letter change so it wasn't redundant.

Sad tone, made me feel sad too. You set the mood well. Thanks for sharing this with us.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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434
434
Review of Old love  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I am not familiar with this type of poetry, so I'm very grateful you put up the explanation.

I love the theme, and the way you start with hummingbirds. I do not think I've ever read a poem with them mentioned like that.

Every once in a rare while I see one outside my house and love when they stop by. I've never seen them in an orchard. You caught my attention with the hummingbirds, then drew me in further with the 'touch my broken heart'.

That last verse was wonderful. the first line was great. From hummingbirds to flames. I'm impressed. Thanks for sharing with us.

love, LinnAnn Pike
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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435
435
Review of Wee (Wee) Stairs  
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I love the picture you put in to go with the poem. lol

I thought the word count was different, then noticed you called it a specific Limmerick name. I hope it's okay cause I wouldn't know. lol

We have three Pitt Bulls so I know what its like to have to train a dog. I really loved the line about the guppy. it totally cracked me up. I did the same thing about buying a guppy when my Lhasa apso died. Then I forget to feed them. They don't bark or lick my face to remind me to .

Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

love, LinnAnn Pike
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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436
436
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm not sure if the colors are there as part of the contest or for the readers comfort. lol I did appreciate them!

I like the way you rhymed ' coot' with 'truth'. You cracked me up on that one!

I'm not familiar with some of those writers you've mentioned, so you sparked my interest in that. Thank you.

I didn't get the last line, but I imagined him in a hospital gown, except he seemed to be at home with the wife. It doesn't matter. It was fun.
thanks for sharing this with us.

Love, LinnAnn Pike

http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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437
437
Review of the library  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm not familiar with this style. I can see it's free style and I like the look fo the arraingement of lines.

The syllables didn't match and the word count didn't match, but the flow of the words made a pretty picture in form.

You did a great job with word choice in likening it to the restaurant theme. I liked that the first half was about the 'food' theme and the second half was how the library can satisfy and make you grow.

Thanks so much for sharing.

Love, LinnAnn Pike

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438
438
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your title caught my attention. It seems all the greats are leaving us.

Reading your poem brought back memories of lying in the grass, staring up in the sky hoping to see the space rocket orbiting earth before taking of to the moon.

I like the first line for setting the stage and emotions.

The second line enforced the excitement of the moment and the event.
Your last line is so sincere for so many of us. So many of us thought we'd be living on the moon by now. lol or even Mars.

Thanks so much for such a sweet tender tribute to one of my heros.

Love, LinnAnn Pike

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439
439
Review of Thunderclouds  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I finally got it, the bellowing because of the thunder. Duh! I erased the 4.5 rating and made it a 5.

Love, LinnAnn
440
440
Review of Thunderclouds  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I have to tell you, I love your first line. It really sets the mood and the sapphire starts us out with good visual imagery. The clashing and flashing paired up together came out of the mouth very well. I was hoping for more of the same in the next verse.

I think you meant smoke billowing, since bellowing is more of a shouting.

I also loved the scarlet sunset, but I didn't think the sirens fit. However, since you were fitting those words in for a contest, lol, I understand.

You fit the white winged seagulls in quite nicely. All in all, brilliantly done!

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Love, LinnAnn Pike

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441
441
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I noticed that you have double words in all but the third verse. I'm not a pro so Im curious about that. Is it some form I'm not familiar with?

I couldn't help but wonder if this is based on truth. I do hope not. It is a sad poem of love and dedication. I am impressed with the dedication to your friend in the

poem.harsh allotment awaiting
in his days to come?--- I understand that his life is coming to an end, but what do you mean 'harsh allotment'? Do you mean the time left is so short that it is harsh? That is what I got out of it and I hope I interpreted it correctly.

It's so sad that one is so willing to love and care and the other doesn't seem to notice the offer of love and support.

This is a heartbreaking poem .Thanks for sharing it with us, I do hope it's not based in truth and that the friend is okay.

love, LinnAnn

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442
442
Review of Summer Vigil  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I have to tell you, I didn't understand your explanation of this poem. lol But I'll do my best to review it for you.

ROFLOL- Okay, I'll confess I didn't understand your poem first reading, so I'll go try again. It sounds like something from Three Word Meyhem. lol

You kept the style all the way through-I think, lol, and it did rhyme. Back for another read.

Were you thinking of zombies in verse 2?

Well, for a lot of nonsense, it was amusing. Thanks for sharing. If I got this all wrong, forgive me.

love, LinnAnn Pike

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443
443
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I can fully appreciate the emotions you portray in this poem. lol

The 'texture' threw me at first, but I got it.

blockage inyour soul--the unbidden desire to communicate sometimes will not be stopped.

I love how you give it a personality and drive. lol

I've never had to order any of my artistic endeavors to leave me alone. I loved that line. It made me smile.

Schedule creativity??? Are you serious? roflol my brain won't shut up about writing etc most of the time.

Got a typo- "You're" needs to be 'you've stirred the very core'.

If you had to resist so hard, I'd say the inner drive was still there and awake. giggle.
Being alive????? YOU BET.

loved the poem, thanks so much for sharing it. hang in there. Mine never listens to me either. lol

love, LinnAnn

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444
444
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This poem drew me in and held my attention. It is full of sorrow and it made me woder what had caused such intense grief that it would span two worlds and two souls.

I was a bit confused when you said 'In my night sky'. then the tears sunk her heart like a stone and locked in a cave. I got confused as to why the tears of one would sink the heart of the other.

I do like the ending, the empathy of 'pain to pain' and especially the last line. That touched my heart to the core.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

love, LinnAnn

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445
445
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Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a very heartbreaking poem. It pulled me in and held my attention.
I didn't see anything wrong as far as writing mechanics, but as a mom, a very tenderhearted person, I was a bit troubled by two spots.

The part where it says she 'feigns joy'...does she find no joy in her baby? That part made me want to say she needs help fast.

The 'never smiles' made me feel the same. What a sad way for a baby to grow up, never seeing mommy smile. It does not mean your poem is lacking, just sharing how it made me feel.

I do love your last line. I didn't know that is what 'poppy' stands for.

I do hope this isnt' about someone you know. It's so sad.
love, LinnAnn

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446
446
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I 'love' your poem. The picture is so perfect to go with it.

I had to work a bit to get the rythm, the syllables didn't match up too well, but I got it except for the line with 'wow'. It's five syllables shorter than the same line in the second verse.

Your first verse, second line was so deep. I think it's the best line in the poem as far as making someone think.

The remaining two lines after that should be asked of every parent.

I realize the third verse he is thinking but it is set up so that I felt it maybe should have quote marks and be directed at her, as it sounds like he's doing.

What a wonderful, touching moment between a child and parent. Thank you so much for sharing this. It touched my heart.

love, LinnAnn

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447
447
Review of I Use To Be  
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Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, remember these are only my suggestions, take what you can use. I am wondering if English is not your native language. Anything I suggest is only to help make your work the best it can be. But it is your work, so you can feel free to disregard whatever you want. lol

I use to be.--You may want to put a 'd' on use to show they are past tense..

You may want the sentences that compare and use the same word in first and last parts be changed since not all of them use the same format.

The second line uses 'heart' and 'heart' and the next 'smile' and smiles' so it set me up to think they would all be that way.

friend by side at all times--by her side

blew all these things away. The middle of the other line uses away, so you might want to change this to a different word, or the other line.

dying o the inside--typo, 'on'

tears of blood--since the others are all literal, you may want to take out the 'blood' and try something else.

you seee running --typo, 'seee'

wrote everything away--one more 'away' is still too many

I can feel the hurt that fills your poem. I was also a foster and children's home child. It can all be overcome, truly it can. If you need me, I'm here.

love, LinnAnn

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448
448
Review of Forever  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a lovely poem, but you made me laugh with the lines "we're too old to walk, and our grandson is beginning to crawl. I'm almost 60 and have a grandson that is 21. Fortunatley I'm not a great grandmother.

You painted a lovely and vivid picture. You have the emotions that truely portray the feelings of prewedding jitters and then the reassurance of the 'other half' waiting and smiling.

I love the hope and optimism you share in this poem. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

love, LinnAnn

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449
449
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
The title alone cracked me up and intrigued me with the 'boiled peanuts'.

I have to agree with the sentiments of the prose/poem, one should 'dress to the nines' at times, remind ourselves of a more genteel time.

The part about the well dressed gentleman coming to the door was great. Is that Scotland, or the south? Amost everyone dresses in grunge in my town.

Impertanent youth of 42, I have one of those living with me. sigh

I laughed at the 'Chinet'. Whoever could compare paper plates, I don't care how pretty, with dining on china?

The hopes of reuniting made me a bit sad; you never know do you?

I love the last three lines. The days when people actually RSVP'd. Yes, there were 'good old days' to be fondly remembered.


Thank you so much for sharing this vividly visual, enchanting work with us.

love, LinnAnn

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450
450
Review of Melody of Love  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Semi famouse merit badge poem? I was missing out. No one told me about it, always out of the loop. sigh lol

What a very touching poem. You two must work 10-12 hour shifts to not see each other so much. Okay, to the poem.

Rhyming is great, only one predictable one, 'love and above'

I'm not a pro, so I'm not sure why you have a two line verse, but I'm sure it's legit as you are a pro. lol

It held my interest and I thought it great you included the love of your life in the conversation.

I thouroughly enjoyed this poem and glad you shared it with us. Thanks for the smile!

love, LinnAnn

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