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401
401
Review of Bookmarks  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Please pardon typos, at computer where screen is under the table and my trifocals don't work well with it, can't see.

I love your opening, that is how I feel about books, I have an ereader type thing, never use it.

Then you surprise me and I see you've likened your man to a beloved book. Well done.

2nd verse, last two lines, how sweet and nicely done! and the 'first edition of a classic'. love it.

...to dream of heros. I guess you have one right there!

Thanks for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

http://linnannpike

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402
402
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Please forgive any typos. I'm using a library computer and the screen is under the table, and I have trifocals. Can't see very well this way.

What a delightful poem you shared with us. I did not count the syllables, since you were introducing it to me, I felt you would stick in the paraameters of your choice of poem.

You drew me in with good imagery. I'm afraid I imagined my cat, and she's calico. lol

I really enjoyed the choice of words you used to describe your cat. and his/gher antics-gentle rumbles, I couldn't tell if it was a he or a she. I guess that doesn't leave out any cat lover readers! lol

Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

http:/linnannpike.blogspot.com

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403
403
Review of The Decline  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I have to tell you, that picture was pure scary, stepford style military scary.

this is the first time I've seen this style of poem. thank you very much for teaching me something new. I liked the cadance of it.

The rhyming was great, and not the 'same o, same o' rhymes. I also liked that you gave the meaning of the two words that pepole might not know. That was very thoughtful of you. it's a good thing, cause i'm on a timed computer at the library and AI didn't bring my dictionary. lol

I liked the 'community' part. I only know one family on my block now. The newer arrivals don't talk or get together anymore.

I also liked the 'full measure' part. I was in the Women's Army Corps.

Good powerful ending, 'treasure...right to no longer comform.'

Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I rarely give 5's.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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404
404
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Rated: E | (5.0)
At first I was totally mesmerized with the form you took to display your work. I have NEVER seen a poem set up like that before!

I'm at the library using their computer and I showed your poem, she was also amazed. I also told those in scroll to check it out. lol

I may have not derived the meaning correctly, but toward the end it sounded like a child had died, and became one of those cherubs on a tombstone. If it was about a child dying, you did it well, not at all depressing. I'f I'm totally off the mark, sorry 'bout that.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I rarely give 5's.
love, LinnAnn Pike

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405
405
Review of ROSE: a ghazal  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I had to look up the type of poem you wrote. I think this is the first Arabic and/or 7th century type of poetry I've read, let alone review! Thank you for broadening my knowledge base.

You follow the pattern llike the paper I read said, Well done, I imagine doing this in English was harder. It said your poem was to end with a signature, reference to yourself, the writer. Is Khalish part of your name or near it's meaning? If so, what is the meaning?

Thank you again for helping me to learn something new, and for sharing this poem with us.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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406
406
Review of Beyond the Words  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you so much for explaining the style and rules of the poem. Sometimes i am lost and can only do my best, the explanation helps me to do a better job on a review.

You must have spent a whole lot of time on this poem! Wow! I counted through the syllables and you did great while maintaning the integrity of your meaning. I think you are spot on with the essence. Prose and poetry are so much more informative than just plain speaking.

I also like the 'realm of soul' great going. You made me smile.
Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
love, LInnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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407
407
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm sorry, but I don't know this style so I can't really review that part. The verses are so uneven in length and I don't know if they are supposed to be that way, but it seems so since it seems to be free verse.

I know the reader will interpret poetry based on our own lives and experiences, so if I'm wrong forgive me.

It seemed like a dad was missing his child, either he grew up or died. it was sad at the end.

Thanks for sharing this with us. I hope you find your buddy again.
love, LinnAnn

http:linnannpike.blogspot.com

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408
408
Review of Tides  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I give you a lot of credit for making a poem that actually makes sense when read backwards. Great going. I live near the ocean so this made perfect sense to me.

I didn't get the second line, the waves muffle the serenity? Waves can be loud and crashing, so they were so loud your peacefulness was dampened down?

the blue toes made better sense in the second verse, lol We've had warm water surfers come to our northwest and try to surf without the body suits, lol. It wasn't that cold when I was a kid, or was I too absorbed by the fun to notice? lol

Thanks for sharing this with us. I enjoyed the walk down memory lane.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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409
409
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This starts out so sad! Drew me in right away.

Loved the adoption verse but the humans being a tasty treat cracked me up. lol

If you hadn't put Humming bird in the title I wouldn't have gotten the part about the mom and dad and his sneaking off.

The flowered scenes and nectar clued me in it might be a bird, but then you sneeked in the 'something wrong' and I thought vampire bat? lol You kept me guessing. Even with your final verse, I kept thinking it sounded like a vampire bird or something. This was clever and very amusing. I don' t give many 5's.

thanks so much for sharing this with us. I needed the smile. lol

love, LinnAnn
http:linnannpike.blogspot.com

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410
410
Review of The Promise  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
well, I asked in scroll if there was specific way to separate two different POV's in scroll, but no one answered. There should be a way to show a difference between each person in this poem. I was drawn out of it and the mood broken, had to go back and read again to figure it out. I'm sorry I have nothing to suggest for that.

'he looked at me so beaten down...makes it seem like the son is the one beaten down, not the dad. Don't know if you're interested in reworking it. ...so beaten down he looked at me...

Since the dad didn't recognize the son at the beginning, must be alzheimers?

This was a very powerful poem, and left me sad. So you aced the emotion part!

This was nicely done and as I said, powerful. If this is based on your family, I hope he was able to be put into a nice alzheimers home like we have here.

Thank you so much for sharing this, God bless you.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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411
411
Review of Balm  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved that you explained your styles parameters at the bottom. Thank you.

You were consistent all the way through with the pattern. The flow and rhythm were great, and could be, sort of, mimicking the ocean waves. That's what I felt while reading it, being an oceanl, river and lake person, I do that. lol

I like the way you chose words that go well together in meaning and the final sentence that ties the verses' thougths together. Nicely done.

I rarely give 5's but you got it!
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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412
412
Review of New Year's Eve  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such a sad poem, yet there is hope at the end. I loved the imagery, and the part where you say it's just before dawn, made me mentally picture the black night, possibly tall trees barely silhoueted, (I dont' know how to spell that word and no dictionary at hand. lol) by a faintly pink and orange dawn that could still be an our away.

'The familiar sound of you' made me wonder if she is still there, or if the sounds remind you of her. How touching.

The throwing things, and not just things, but everything, into the fire-. Very profound and thought provoking.

This poem really touched my heart. I rarely give 5's. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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413
413
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Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Pioneer park? Any chance it was in Mesa, AZ? We had a pioneer park there.


She smiled,"I remember your first date. Her outfit was terrific. So much like myself at that age. I fell in love then and there. ”---The mom fell in love? I'm confused here.

'she looked just like (a) flapper'---most guys don't notice that sort of thing in detail, the blue butterflies and all. What a find.

Okay, she was not the mom, but what did she fall in love with, the girl or dress?

Miss Dumar said something to he singer --typo

Debbie may have ran to the house but I would think Dave would too. It doesn't seem plausable she would go in, find out about his mom and then come out all before he got to the house. Since it was his house, wouldn't he want to go in and find out himself instead of letting her drag him away? Nothing on God's green earth would keep me from going in and finding out about what was going on in my own house.

You mention he was only 16 when his mom died, but you don't mention Social Services. They would be involved it seems since he was a minor. It might be worth mentioning that they let him stay with the other woman and she assumed guardianship. Same with selling the house. If mom had no will, the state could take it in receivership until the boy became an adult. It's always good to have at least a hint of the legalities.

For the funeral suit to be no charge isn't too realistic, he'd be giving suits away at every death, but if you accentuate the friendship between them, that would be more understandable.

'Now he hoped she would have something he needed'--It seems she has always had what he needed, maybe you could add--'something else that he needed'.

He gives Alice too much info, short bursts and like a slug in the gut, Yet she doesn't seem to react to it like that. Wouldn't it stun her

the weeding reception, and (it) was

'Somehow I couldn't disagree...--that makes it sound like he wanted to disagree. What about..'Somehow they had vocalized my exact sentiments'...?

...God it's good...Being a diety should be capitalized

At the mad hatters party, the POV changes from Davie to his wife's. You might want to reconsider that.

what about---They were in a circle of giant mushrooms.---

addressing (an) envelope--if a is followed by an h or a vowel it turns to 'an'

pipe and (the) glade---

All in all this was very entertaining. The ending helped to ease the painn to bitter sweet. As long as he doesn't become obsessed with her image and forgets to go on with his life. Sigh. Too bad we all don't have mad hatters etc. lol So it sounded like the Mad hatter had died earlier, but at the ending, it became a puzzle. Very interesting. lol

Thanks for sharing this with us. I hope I was of some help.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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414
414
Review of Embrace  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Oooohl, sweetly tantilizing and totally suitable for all readers. I love it. I love the visual aspect and artisticness of it.

Your first verse reminded me of a husband coming home from work and embracing his wife. I'm old school. lol

I really like the 'magnetic gesture of your soul' that is beautiful and touching.

Thank you so much for sharing this tender vision with us.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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415
415
Review of FAT IN THE SAND  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I am not aware of a poetry style where the pattern changes like this.
verses 1, 2 and 3-abab
verse 4, 5 and 6- aabb

Can you tell me what that style is called or is it just something you decided to do?

I can tell you, I could use some of that heat. It's below freezing and my house is only about 34 degrees inside. lol My daughter is in Korea and it's 20 below durring the sunlight hours.

I found your poem very interesting and thought provoking. As a former military person,
and mother in law to one, You make a lot of sense and it is very upsetting to many.

Nicely done with expressing your thoughts on this so well. Thanks for sharing this with us.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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416
416
Review of Thought Journey  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I read through the poem and was fascinated.

It felt like it had a rythm but It didn't rhyme all the way through. There were some rhymes but I couldn't figure out the pattern. The third line of the first verse rhymed wth the first line of the second verse.

third verse had dove and flow-abba

the fourth verse was -aabcb, unless the last b was part of c, which it seemed like ti was.

then a verse with no rhyme and the last verse rhymed-abcb\

the rhyming pattern as very confusing HOWEVER--

the poem was very intriguing and I re-read it over and over.
\
The first verse, aghast before the mirror.-how profound. The difference between it and the second verse is amazing. It drew me in and I wondered, what happened while standing in front of the mirror to change the demeanor?

The last verse again left me questioning. what thought did it fight for?

Thank yo uso much for sharing this poem! Well done.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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417
417
Review of Farewell  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
What a very sad and touching poem. I ached for the grief and loneliness you must have felt in writing this.

In your second line of the first verse I think you left out a word, maybe it was meant to say, "I didn't get to say"? That would not meet your eight syllable requirement though, so maybe take out the 'to' and it then has eight syllables like the pattern said.

Maybe God gave you the full life because he knew you would appreciate it and cherish it.

Thanks you so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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418
418
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I realize you said this was a metaphor, but it felt so real. It reminded me of the life I used to live. I may be totally off the mark, but it reads like someone who used to be a whole person physically but may be disabled now.

Of course, many of us read into poetry what is in our own hearts. With your verse on the queen, it made me think of a love you used to have and it is that memory that reminds of what is gone.

Your first verse reminded me of dreams I used to have of dancing. When I wore a cast from toes to underwear line, I dreamed of dancing and running.

You caught me in the emotion and I felt sad. Such a sadness that leaves one wondering what if.

Thank you so much for sharing your talent with words.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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419
419
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I love it when poets put the 'rules' and explanations down below. Is the word you put down in the title really the word for the phobia of Friday the Thirteenth? If so, that is amazing.

According to your pattern you stated the first line should be 2-4-2, but the first word has two syllables, I think. I do not know if I'm pronouncing it correctly. Is it Fri-gas day?

I was impressed with how well you put the phobia down in such little lines so well. I also like how you leave the question up in the air, a fear, a phobia, unclear.

It is a question many ponder. I do not know for sure, but I would guess the answer lies in how much fear is attached to the situation. lol

thanks so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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420
420
Review of Thirteen  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I read the 'rules' in the poetry newsletter, honest I did. lol But I can't remember all of them. So I shall read and review the basics.

the call me in.--Did you mean 'they'? Since you were talking about the clothes, at first I thought you meant them. Then I realized you meant the twelve men.

shief-my dictionary did not have this word. Could you tell me what it means?

I have to admit I did not understand this poem, that is normal for poetry. We poets often understand our work better than those who read it since it comes from our hearts.

It sounded to me like you held up an idea to a board, and it was rejected. The (I'll hang for this) sounded like you might get fired.

Do tell me if I'm wrong or right.

I did like the ATM verse, caused me to laugh at how you viewed the commitee

For what it's worth, what you learned in those five years is not lost. it makes you smarter and wiser.

I did enjoy the mystery, and the style in which you wrote was great, the curving the sentence from one line to another--my fathers as a robe-

Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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421
421
Review of Ice Flowers  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm not familiar with this stanza pattern, two lines, then three, then two again and then four and ending with two lines.

Your first two lines gave good imagery. The gold heart confused me a bit, not cold as metal, but good as gold I guessed.

People smile to st(r)angers- that's just the way I like to be. So many people could use a warm smile.

I like the way you end it with your 'once again'. How lovely.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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422
422
Review of His Mighty Hand  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
As a Christian I feel hesitant to review your poem, I do know that it came from your heart and I am touched by it. Please tke this review with all the love with which it was sent.

Your form is consistent all the way through. Your hallelujah lines threw me off though as it looked like rescue had come after the first verse. Your final last two lines I felt would be better between the verses as they offer hope and do not bring the ending while still in grief. Then the other lines you repeated if at the end, bring the resolve to the conflict and give triumphant ending.

These are only my thoughts, you can do what you like with them as after all, it is your piece of praise and work of art. I do thank you for sharing this with us. Merry Christmas.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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423
423
Review of The Book  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
okay, right off the top you have me smiling on the first verse. lol That is sooo me! Glad to know I'm not the only one.

Do you keep pen and paper by the bed for when you wake up with ideas? I can't read my handwriting, so I tried keeping a tape deck by the bed. Can you decipher groggy mumbling?

You have good rhyme pairings and the flow was fine. I didn' thave to count syllables or anything. It flell off the tongue with ease and was easy to understand.

You drew me in as the reader and I felt your frustration, even though it made me laugh.

thanks you so much for sharing this with us. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I rarely give '5's.

love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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424
424
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I can tell with this poem, you do not live in western washington. lol
Your syllable count was right on the count and very nicely done. There was no forced areas where I had to read it for the rhythm. You did a great job on it.

Your first verse reminded me of Arizona. We had those electrical storms. You paint a very vivid picture.

Second verse was also very good, the gully between Mesa and Tempe would fill and flash flood.

I loved your quiet, peaceful finish. this was just lovely. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I rarely give '5's, but I love this poem.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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425
425
Review of My Psalm  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I like your poem, and I realize it's not quite a rhyming one, but some of it does. I wanted to play with the shape, but didn't know if you were interested in that...


Father-God

In the darkest of my nights, you were the brightest light.

In the stormiest battles, you set my enemies to flight.

You cleansed me . . .

You pruned me . . .

You guided me . . .

You held me . . .
(I like the way this is set up so far, the double rhyme, the quad rhyme)
And today . . . you cleanse and prune and guide and hold my heart in your hands.--(Part of me thinks deletesome of this long line--maybe make it

And today, you do all that and hold my heart in your hands.--(Only because you just staid most of that and that is just My opinion. I would also put an extra line between the first verse and the last nverse, so this line stands out and gives us pause to think and reflect. IMO)

You are everything I need . . . and more than I deserve.

You are everything we need . . . and more than we deserve.

You transform us from the many and make us one in your love.
Jesus did not just pray for His Disciples, He prayed for you and me!

(He did pray for them, so that lost me, but he prayed for all of us through the ages.)
I don't know why you hanve the dots under the one line, but you don't need it.



You give us everything . . .
and we are grateful . . .
and even our gratitude . . .(these three groupings could go on their own line like this)

Comes from above . . .

Comes from your love.

----------------------
NIcely done, and always remember that it is YOU and expresses your feelings and worship in YOUR way. Each artist paints their own picture in their own way.
thanks for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
http://linnannpike.blogspot.com

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