I really liked this story--that their victims came back as Angels of vengeance. *nods* Very good use of all four prompts-which was a pleasant surprise!
Grammar/Spelling/Flow:
There were a few spots I'd tweak, such as:
the terrified rats fleeing squealing before it. I'd replace "squealing" with some other synonymous word to avoid repeating the "ee" sound so closely together.
‘Lying is done with words and also with silence.’”Here, I'd add in a bit of physical movement/description here to show who says “She knows.”
I'd also italicize any foreign language you use.
Characters:
The ultimate thrill-seekers is how David and Claire come off--completely confident in their own ability to get away with anything. I like that they're brought to justice by the ones they wronged. I love, love, love turning the victims into Angels! Wonderful use of the prompts given!
Initial Impression/Plot: I didn't realize that the party was a flashback until I finished the story and went back to re-read the beginning, but it's a great story! The plot felt like something I'd see on Law & Order, or another crime show--I loved it. What I found interesting was that you managed to weave a fantastical voice with a modern plot and setting. Your style seems very fit for a high fantasy story about princesses and warriors. In fact, I thought that was what this would be, and I was pleasantly surprised by the story.
Grammar/Spelling/Flow: Not for the first did she wish she had grabbed her shawl before stepping out of the party to walk the wast estate grounds, but her sudden urge for air overshadowed any notion ofconcern for the cold. I think you could probably shorten this sentence and still keep the meaning clear. It feels a bit wordy as is.
It would to no surprise if music was loud enough to reach her small home a mile away. This made no sense to me.
She knew a minute before he leaned in that Jonathan planned to kiss her. I'd switch the "he" and "Johnathan," to give it better flow.
The room exploded with excitement as Elene felt theher stomach drop to the floor.
The dove gray satin felt so foreign against Elena's skin it made her feel like a completely different person. Such finery wrapped around her body brought her a deep sense of power. These two sentences were absolutely awesome. I loved the imagery and the feel of them. Really great job with that!
Characters: I loved the strength it took for Elena to do what she did, not to mention raising Gideon while recognizing that there was nothing of Johnathan in him. That was just awesome.
Extra Notes: You did very well twisting an event as horrific as rape to lead to justice, even contentment. Wonderful job!
This review holds only my opinions, such as they are.
Review 5 of 5
Overall Impression:
Seems like you really enjoy Halloween, seeing the enjoyment of it rather than judge it, as many do, from a religious standpoint. I like that you focused on the creativity and happiness that runs rampant throughout the night of Halloween.
Grammar/Spelling/Flow:
A steady stream of thought that brought your point across very well! I didn't find any grammar or spelling mistakes!
Plot:
You did a great job of showing what Halloween means to you--the tone you used was kind of like someone musing over a memory that makes them smile. It makes the reader smile while reading! Well done!
Extra Notes:
I enjoyed reading this! Halloween is my favorite holiday! (After my birthday, of course! ) Good job!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is a chaotic review. What that means is that except for the image above, and this little disclaimer, there is no template. Straight thought, and honest opinion.
Review 4 of 5
I liked that this brought to mind a moment when you walk through the town you've lived all your life, and you're hit by the realization that no matter where you may move to, no matter how many times you've cursed the place, it's home. The flow of this was well done, and I didn't hit any awkward spots, or bumps.
It was short and sweet. I liked the imagery, which was simple, appropriate with such a simple theme.
Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot more I can say about this...I enjoyed it, and it reminded me of my own town. Great job, Sherri!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is a chaotic review. What that means is that except for the image above, and this little disclaimer, there is no template. Straight thought, and honest opinion.
Review 3 of 5
I have to say, I was a little surprised by this piece. Until now, I'll admit I've only seen the generous and gentle side of you, it was a shock to see a ferocious roar come from this particular item! But you made some very valid points, although I might change the little description to say "Anonymous reviews" rather than ratings, as this really did focus more on anonymous reviews than ratings. Something I don't think many people realize is that SM and SMS can see the anonymous reviewers, so when they send out these uncalled for reviews that are cruel and harsh, they aren't truly anonymous. Someone other than themselves knows what they've done, and it's someone with the ability to kick them off the site.
I can think of only a single need for anonymous reviews--and that is if a relative wants to review someone and they don't want them to be hurt by the criticisms they may have. But in that instance it would be a kind review, and constructive. (And I can't think many would actually do it.)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is a chaotic review. What that means is that except for the image above, and this little disclaimer, there is no template. Straight thought, and honest opinion.
Review 1 of 5
You had a really great rhythm with this poem--it reminded me of the poem from "Ten Things I Hate About You"--but it kind of faltered here: "it’s you I no longer dream of." I'll note near the end of the review the points I think could use a little tweaking.
I really liked the feel of this poem, the tone of it--like you're narrowing your eyes at this guy and ticking off a finger for each thing you hate.
I think my very favorite line would have to be, "I cringe when you try to kiss me/and speak pretentiously of love." The imagery of that line--despite the lack of actual description--is wonderful. I love it.
I think the loss of rhythm is because of how you phrased certain words in a few of the stanzas, it doesn't feel quite as natural as the other lines.
"No longer am I a part of you," could easily be, "I'm no longer a part of you," and retain the natural feel of the majority of the lines, as well as the rhyme. "for you, I’ve shed my last tear." could be "and I've shed my last tear" to avoid repeating the word "you" too closely together.
"it’s you I no longer dream of." ~ "it's not you I'm dreaming of," for the same reasons as the other line.
Beyond those three lines, I have no suggestions for this poem. Again, I loved the rhythm you've used, and the tone of the poem. All around very well done.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is a chaotic review. What that means is that except for the image above, and this little disclaimer, there is no template. Straight thought, and honest opinion.
As a pagan, I really enjoyed this poem! I loved the references to the three aspects of the Goddess, and the fact that you didn't neglect the God as well--so many forget that we believe in both! Each facet of the Goddess was independent, a different part of Her personality, but also cohesive pieces of an entirety. It brought to mind an image of a single woman standing in a grassy field, nude except for the dawn's light, reaching for the sky like a tree.
As far as the technicalities of this poem, I believe that "sky clad" is actually one word, so it would read: "Skyclad in Pan's arms..." but I'm not entirely sure about it. The flow felt consistent, and easy to read.
I can't think of anything else I'd change, and I really liked this. Great job!
Most creative/effective usage of the prompts: Your entry made very nice use of the prompts given, with good attention to detail on the picture prompt!
Spelling and Grammar: I didn't find anything of note!
Beginning, middle and end: You did pretty well here-the ending wasn't quite a cliffhanger, but it was close. I think that the reader can presume that your main character killed his girlfriend. Something that I really liked about this story was that you kept the why of this story hidden until the very end. Why he was breaking up with her, why he felt he had to...etc, etc.
Extra Notes:Your voice was well-done, although passive in a few areas-mostly when he was describing how she looked, but I think it worked here. You managed to fit an entire story in what I would estimate to be about 400-500 words! Well done!
Is there a reason why you changed point of view in this, going from "I" to "Her" and returning to "I?" I think that if you did this on purpose--well, actually, even if you didn't--this poem could use quite a bit of expansion. Perhaps include legends of your people, descriptions of the land, the music, and the spirits you pray to? The way it is now, all it does is say you're Cherokee. You have a subject here that has a rich and diverse history, don't be afraid to use it to your advantage!
The lack of punctuation makes it difficult to discern whether or not you have a set rhythm for this, so the flow is hard to figure out, thus making it hard to read. It's a good start--I hope you decide to continue and expand on it!
First, I would change the constant capitals to regular type, to make it easier for others to read. Grammar, such as commas, go a long way as well. As far as the story itself, you've left a lot to be desired here.
Your description is that the story is about someone who stabs his friend in the back for fun, and then expects to be forgiven, but the story never seems to touch on this. It appears to be about a girl going to sleep and getting a phone call from a guy who starts laughing. That's it. I can't imagine why someone who betrays his friend for fun would be that concerned with being forgiven, as well. I don't see the plot here, and just a little side note: Replacing the words with numbers in your description is ultimately unnecessary and will put a lot of people off.
To be perfectly honest, this story needs a lot of work.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Wow, Em, this contest was an awesome idea!! I wish I'd known about it before it started and I would have entered!! I wish it were more than a once-a-year thing, as well!! Awesome work here, Em! If you need help judging, feel free to email me, and I'll help out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling: *thumsbup*
Ease of Reading: The format kind of confused me when his wife was speaking, because the dialogue went to another paragraph, but there wasn't a real sign that it was still her speaking. I'd suggest going back and changing the format a bit. The dialogue itself was very well done, the voice of it sarcastic and long-suffering.
Plot Development: How on earth anyone can be that dense amazes me, but it does wonders for your plot. Awesome job creating a character that is the very epitome of idiot.
Personal Preference: This story had my jaw on the floor and my sides hurting, I was that shocked and it was that funny! This was really really good story!!
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar:
Ease of Reading: Can I just say I'm in love with your poetry? Your style is simple and elegant, but so descriptive, it's amazing! I love the little ways you describe things, and it just pops an image in my brain! My favorite line in this poem would have to be the very last one:
Feeling Satan's loving hold taste my splintered black heart.
Personal Preference: Alright, I'm going to stop gushing now. I really loved this poem. It's passionate, and it has elements of icy and hot passion, kind of the collision of both--If I'm understanding it correctly. I tend to miss the point of some poems, even if i do enjoy them immensely!--and it works really well. Again, awesome job!!
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar: From your descriptions, I presume that Weakness, Wrong and Right have become characters of a sort in this? If not, then these words don't need to be capitalized. If you're wanting to put emphasis on the words, I'd recommend italicizing them. I tripped up briefly at: "Into my heart She pleadingly sings" I don't believe that "She" needs to be capitalized either.
Ease of reading: This was a nicely easy read! You kept with the rhyme scheme very well; I'm particularly impressed as th rhymes don't feel forced or obvious rhymes.
Personal Preferences: This is a subject that I've never seen a poem about before; the little shoulder Angel and Devil fighting for supremacy, the Devil often winning out over the Angel. An original subject, and you carried it off very well. Great job!!
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar:
Ease of Reading: This was really well done! This was well-written and thought-out! I do wonder if this is set in an alternate version of our world, futuristic setting, maybe? I would like more information about the main character, though I think that could wait until the next chapter...
Plot Development: I know it says it's the first chapter, but it feels more like a prologue, as first chapters tend to be more active, introducing the main characters and the plot and such. This is more of an introduction into the world, and I think it's a great start to what would be a really interesting book. This is definitely--so far--something I would want to read.
Personal Preferences: Is there another chapter? I really, really hope you'll continue this! As a matter of fact, I've favorited the folder for this and I'll keep an eye to see if you add another chapter!
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar:
Ease of reading: This was a surprisingly easy read; I expected it to be, one: much longer, and two: far more weighed down with angst. This felt much lighter; George was happiest being a woman, and the reader could tell simply from the heaviness that disappeared as soon as Ginger emerged. Ginger was happier, less concerned with how she looked to the outside world than George was.
Plot Development: I'm torn as far as the ending. I kind of want to know if George did the operation or not...but I feel it also might have ruined the awesome story you have here. The characterization and emotion that you have in this piece might have been nullified if you had continued it and showed the reader what George decided. Okay, I just talked myself into liking the ending!
Personal Preferences: This was a really great story, Jaye. I love the fact that not only did you make the reader care about George/Ginger, feel outrage on his behalf toward his father, but you showed that people should follow their hearts and who they feel they are inside, rather than what society would prefer them to be. Well done, very well done.
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar:
Ease of reading: Technically, I don't think that "interrupted" would be the term to use, at least not unless it's followed by "his thoughts" or something like that. That line did trip me up momentarily. I might replace, "He let out the secret" with, "he blurt out the words," to give it more of a "I have to get this out of me while I have the courage" gasping type feel? (let me know if that made any sense)
Plot Development: Daren's trying to tell his best friend he's gay only to find out his friend already knows! Of course, I'm left wondering how Jared knows, but I know that because this is a 55er, I'll probably never know.
Personal Preference: This was a good story! I liked the inner voice you gave Daren, very realistic. I can see why it placed in the contest. Good job, Dawny!!
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar:
Ease of Reading: This is one of the best pieces of flash fiction I've read yet. The flow was very good, the voice steady and pacing was perfect.
Plot Development: My only problem is, would a mom really leave her well-known-for-troublemaking-daughter to roam the house while she slept? Especially when you say that mom is viewed as Judge, Jury, and Executioner. That part doesn't really jive with me. Maybe mom's at work, and the brand-new babysitter who doesn't really give a hoot is off talking on the phone with her boyfriend while little Kimberly is making mischief? Simply a suggestion, of course.
Personal Preference: This was a very cute story, one of the most well-written flash I've read, but as I stated above, the plot does leave a reader wondering why on earth the mom would let her troublemaking child just run wild while she slept? Still, a very good piece.
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling: Well, technically speaking, there are a few misspelled words here, but as it is in the dialogue, I think I can let it go.
Grammar: It’s as simple as that really. There needs to be a comma between "that" and "really"
Ease of Reading: This had great flow, but I do suggest put a break between each line so it's easier for the reader to view it.
Plot Development:
Personal Preference: This was one of the better 55 word stories I've read, because it is so simple in its language while still telling an entire story. This was a really cute story. Well done!!
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar:
Ease of Reading: The rhythm was a little off because of the fluctuating length of the lines, but the subject matter and the emotion behind the poem really drives all of that out of the mind.
Personal Preference: I know many people who have been abused as children, so this is a subject I'm familiar with--and passionate about--and this is a heart-breaking example of having hope in the most horrible situation. The fact that this is from the point of view of the child makes it all that more hard-hitting for the reader. I can completely understand why this was published.
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar:
Ease of reading: This was a little stiff to me, but considering the story you were telling and the limit placed on how much detail you could go into, I'd have to say that there probably isn't much that could be done to fix it.
Plot development: This was one cold plot. And I don't mean that in a negative way; just that the characters action at the end...a month of grieving for his wife and already he's looking at the cute blonde? My first thought was "Ouch." Even dead, his late wife has got to feel that sting!
Personal Preference: I liked the story itself, the plot and ending were well done despite the slightly stiff feel of the words. Still a great story, Lyle!!
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar:
Ease of Reading: I will admit, I had a difficult time reading this. Not because the story was stiff or the writing anything but fluid, but the horrible puns! My goodness, they were atrocious!! It has me wincing at the very word "pun"! Generally speaking, I'd say that nobody--even a character--could be that bad at it, but you managed to pull this story off without a single hitch! Very, very well done...and I'll tell you now, I won't be using puns anywhere near as much, and I just might smack the next person uses one with me!!
Plot Development: Nicely done here, considering you only had 300 words to work with.
Personal Preference: I enjoyed the read, even though I've been scarred for life ().
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The comments below are merely my opinion. Hold them close or toss them away, their worth is up to you.
From the 15th to the 21st, I review for "Invalid Item"
Spelling:
Grammar:
Ease of Reading: Does the reader need to know that the narrator has worked at this shop since August? They don't know the current month, so August could have been a week ago for the main character for all the reader knows. I'd suggest removing "since August", both because it's ultimately unneeded, and because it will make the first sentence, which read just a tad bit long for me, shorter and easier to read. Beyond that, this had good fluidity and voice, the flow of the story very well done.
Plot Development: Great job here! I know it's hard to have a beginning, a middle and an end to a story so short, and you did an awesome job with it here!
Personal Preference: It's really early in the morning for me and I needed a good laugh, so you get extra points!! This was a really cute story! The embarrassment that the main character felt has stung everyone at some point, so the reader can relate, adding another dimension to the story and the overall reading experience!
Rating System
I rate based on the following:
Spelling Grammar Ease of Reading Plot Development Personal Preference
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In fact, I thought that was what this would be, and I was pleasantly surprised by the story. 
Overall Impression:
,
Sorry! 
But you made some very valid points, although I might change the little description to say "Anonymous reviews" rather than ratings, as this really did focus more on anonymous reviews than ratings. Something I don't think many people realize is that SM and SMS can see the anonymous reviewers, so when they send out these uncalled for reviews that are cruel and harsh, they aren't truly anonymous. Someone other than themselves knows what they've done, and it's someone with the ability to kick them off the site. 
