Hi, I'm here to review your piece. Well, first of I notice a few technical errors (mostly just punctuation; no spelling errors to note). Those can be easily remedied and add something to the flow of your story. Otherwise, there is nothing I would improve upon. You characters are fun and I would love to see how they look! This is a great piece and I would like to read more of what you have to offer :)
Hi I'm here to review your piece. I think I would enjoy reading a story about your protagonist Gwen. Are you going to write a story? Your character layout was very detailed. The only description that didn't work for me was that she is curvy yet small and slender, only 100 lbs. I just can't see it. But that's just me. I think you have a very complete character and I would love to read more about her :) Write on!
Hi I'm here to review your item "Several examples of love" What I received, I felt like it wasn't as solid and full of examples as was promised in the title. The ones that are there are beautiful and cause one to ponder, but I feel like you could've elaborated on a couple. Keep writing!
Hi I'm here to review your poem. Well, there's no spelling mistakes, which makes it much easier to read, so thank you. I wasn't sure that the title was a good fit for the poem. I might figure out a different title. All in all, the poem flowed well. Write on!
Hi I'm here to review your work. First off is the warning #12. (Number 12: Do Not step on a Sea Urchin! Because their spins hurt like hell.) I think you meant to put spines. Other than that tiny mistake, this is a great, very informative article. There are a lot of things I probably would've done that are on this list, but now that I've read your warnings, I'm afraid to go to Barbados. I'm not sure if that was your intention to scare people away from the vacation spot, I'm just expressing how the article made me feel. Maybe top it off with a few things that you CAN do in Barbados, for balance. All in all, this was good. Keep writing!
Hi :) I'm here to review your piece. Well, it made me laugh, quite a bit actually. The only thing I feel like could have been elaborated on, and that didn't make sense, was how the Dursley's treated Dudley after the fiasco at the zoo. He physically pushed their favorite son past the glass into harms way. I wondered, wouldn't the Dursley's punish Dudley worse than just ignoring him and not taking him out to dinner? There are minimal spelling mistakes, the chapters flowed well, and it was very entertaining. Thank you and well done!
Once upon a time, there was a turtle. Every day, the turtle swam around and tried to befriend the other turtles. One day, he gave up and became friends with a fish. Because of that, the other turtles laughed at him. But he didn't mind. Until finally, they got on his nerves so badly he swore off fish for the rest of his life and conformed with turtle social politics. The fish was devastated and never became friends with a turtle again. The turtle, also unhappy, ended up wasting away and died prematurely. The end. (A little tale about how racism in society hurts us, using a turtle and a fish as an example)
Hi, I'm here to help and offer suggestions. "THE SEAGULL SCREAM RING IN MY EARS" I would personally put "The seagull scream ringing in my ears" "BUT THE MEMORYS STILL SO STRONG" I would make the correction to memory's "But the memory's still so strong" Those are just technical corrections. I really enjoyed the flow of this poem and the theme. Well done!
Hi, I'm here to help and encourage. "Boy, I knew you fond of them, but for it to show even when you were unconscious" That sentence, I would put a "were" between "you" and "fond". "Many times you had come over to visit your girlfriend at her home, and but this time was different." This one, I would remove the "and". Other than that, there's no mistakes or mis-typings. Also, I enjoyed reading your story. It's about a foot fetishist and you described the woman's feet in great detail, which added something to the story. It was a sexy story, actually. I think you really have something here. The title reflects what the theme of the story is, which is good. All in all, great job!
Well, first I notice no grammatical, spelling, or punctuation errors. My eyes grew wide reading "The date was August 6, 1945", because I knew exactly what that meant, yet, to help those that didn't know, you added the sentence "The war was about to end" and explained about the nuke, which was good. A time warp is a good title for this piece, but I feel you could've done a title a little more related to the historical aspect of your dream. All in all, well done, I very much enjoyed reading :)
Hi I'm here to help. Well, upon first reading, I noticed that there is a lot of punctuation errors and run on sentences. That's okay though, as it can easily be fixed.
Also, the title was a great attention grabber, especially for me because I enjoy horror stories.
I noticed a few spelling mistakes but those can be easily remedied also.
I got a feel for the story and enjoyed the theme. I feel like it could have been presented a little better, but this is a perfectly acceptable first draft. Great plot too!
All in all, a few spelling and punctuation mistakes, an attention grabbing title, and a spooky plot. Well done!
Wow. So well written! I enjoyed reading your perspective on what truth is. I also see truth as being not completely valid coming from just one person, because, alas, each person has their own truth. Also, there were no spelling or punctuation mistakes. Well done.
Wow! That's fantastic! First off, I notice no technical mistakes (spelling, grammar, etc.) And, you're right, children teach us lessons that we once learned and forgot as we grew up, but there's always that inner child inside and I hope you find and nurture it :) My only criticism would be, I would have loved it to have been more descriptive about the garden, the colors, the smells, etc. But, this is truly a lovely piece!
"African culture was silent_ tolerated homosexuality" I feel like you made a small mistake there. Forgive me if I'm wrong. Also there' a few spelling mistakes such as "In almost all ancient Nigerian communities, if a commits adultery with another man's wife, he was asked o pay serious damages to the husband." If a What/Who commits adultery? There are words missing or extra letter here or there, and it would do well with a careful reading over and editing these common technical mistakes. This makes a good argument for homosexuals, and I am glad to have read it. Very informative, very well argued point. I realize you think that "homosexuals should be cured, rehabilitated, counseled and helped" That is your opinion, and in this type of writing you shouldn't be swindled by your opinion/bias, and it seems you were not, but instead stuck to the facts (or lack thereof) regarding homosexuality in Africa. I enjoyed the read. Thank you
Wow that was amazing! I didn't understand whether they were in fact the same person or not, you'd have to make that a bit more clear. Also, your use of description was great! A cemetary under the new moon sounds creepy and was a good setting for digging up a coffin. I liked the twist at the ending too! Very well written, and no spelling mistakes.
There's lot of run-on sentences here. Some misspelled words and lack of punctuation. I enjoyed the theme of the story and it had an interesting plot. You must've done your research to know that much about the place. I would've liked the haunting to go on just a few seconds longer, just to see what happens next. Good job!
Wow I was very moved by this piece. Strife indeed does scream. You've done beautifully with the punctuation (well, the lack thereof) and spelling is good too! I especially like the line "cocked ammunition". Beautiful description of something so tragic. Well done!
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